Next day-Jason

I haven't been to see Dick since he was thrown into that hole. I even helped bury the key. It's days like this though where I want to know why. I want him to level with us. Stop denying what he has done and just tell us everything so we know if he is savable. He keeps telling us he didn't do it, he didn't do any of it. Raven looked in his mind though, on the down low confirming he did. How am I supposed to believe him when she has no reason to lie about what she saw. Apart of me wants to see if it was a situation like I had. Where I was under Joker's mind control and had no idea what I was doing. However that seems less likely in this case. When would he have come into contact with anyone of those abilities? It's hard to not go to him, knowing he might level with me if I just talk to him. However he might not since I haven't been his favorite person lately. We haven't seen eye to eye in quite some time. Everything that has been going on with him could also be a reason he wouldn't trust any of us. He's been mad at us for sometime.

"Penny for your thoughts Master Jason" Alfred says pulling me out of my thoughts as I zone out at the sandwich he made me.

"Just worried about Dick" I admit. Alfred nods as he turns back to his pot of soup he is making for dinner. It smells amazing. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it. It's been hard on him as well no doubt. Not that he would share that with us. He likes to keep those feelings under wraps.

"We all are Master Jason" Alfred says, it's all I will get out of him and I don't mind. I manage to take a bite. Nothing is better than Alfred's sandwiches. Except his cucumber ones...those are the worst. We eat them anyway but we hate them. We would never tell them that though. I find comfort in the sandwich, trying to keep my thoughts on the good things happening in my life. I am straight up getting married to someone I could not be more in love with. I am home, not being left or abandoned. The Joker is still in the wind and knowing that makes my skin crawl when I think about it. However, I know it's not because of lack of caring with Bruce.

However I can't help but go back to Dick. He is sitting alone in that box...lying through his teeth about trying to kill the women I love and releasing another women who also wants to kill her. For what? What is the end game. Are we helping or delaying it by imprisoning him. Are we making it worse? Are more people going to end up hurt because of this? I can't help allowing those types of thoughts in my head. Looking around the kitchen I feel like I am somehow guilty, being up here eating a great sandwich while he is in the cage they put me in when I first came back.

"Master Jason, do you wish to see him?" Alfred asks, I didn't realize he was staring at me sneakily. Trying to read my expression as I mindlessly eat my food.

"I do...I just don't think anything will come of it. I want to beat his ass for putting my future family at risk. He seems to pretty set on lying to us too so it wouldn't make a difference" I say, admitting it to myself is the hardest part.

"Sometimes it's not about getting answers or revenge. Sometimes it's just about seeing someone you care about." He replies, I get where he is coming from. He isn't wrong it makes me kind of want to take his advice. I battle with myself on if I can mentally handle being the bigger person and not going into that cage and lighting his ass up like a Christmas tree. Alfred doesn't say anything more about and I don't want him to. It's frustrating when you know that going to see them won't actually help.

I finish my lunch dusting the left over crumbs off my hands and onto the plate. I rinse plate off in the sink before sliding Alfred a grateful smile. He returns it in his polite manner as I walk back out heading to my bedroom. As I walk in I do quietly in case Raven is mediating or even taking a nap as she does lately. She isn't doing either, she has her nose in the book she has been reading and re-reading for weeks. It surprises me how many times she can read the same book in a row.

"You're conflicted. Why?" She asks without looking up from her book

"Just got a lot to think about sunshine" I say she lowers the book slightly to show me her narrowed eyes.

"Such as what?" She pries, I don't know if this is something I can talk to her about. She was so hurt when she found out about everything he did. I almost thought she would have been more upset about him releasing Terra however, what stung her the most was that he tried to kill her. Maybe it's the guilt that the manager died instead of her. Regardless, she isn't too keen on him at the moment. Trying to tell her that I want to go visit him and level with him might piss her off.

It's not even just about not pissing her off. He hurt her, why would I go behind her back to talk to the guy who tried to kill her?

Because he's my brother. The fucking asshole is my brother.

"I need to see him" it comes out before I can stop it and she doesn't react, just looks down to her lap and then back up at me. With those eyes. Those eyes are my weakness. If she told me she didn't want me to go see him I wouldn't. If she told me she wanted nothing to do with him for as long as I live. I would do it. However, she doesn't say any of that.

"Then do it" She says plainly. For a moment I think she is angry with me. I think this could be a dare.

"I don't want to seem insensitive Sunshine, I know what him trying to kill you made you feel. I also know how bad Terra getting out means to you and Garfield and lil Rae" I say she puts a hand up to silence me before I can continue. She puts her hand down along with her book she stares up at me trying to find the words to say.

"Jay, he's your brother. I do not expect you to shut him out. I also know how you work. You want him to admit to you he did it. You want to save him" She says for a moment I don't know if she is trying to be supportive or if she actually feels this way.

"He hurt you...and he killed two people" I say she shakes her head.

"The explosion didn't leave me permanently damaged. The only other way he hurt me is just by the betrayal. However...he didn't do that to you. You don't need to hold yourself back for me" She replies

We fall into a comfortable silence as I think of what to say and as she thinks about more ways to convince me to go see him. I didn't know what to really expect by telling her but It wasn't for her to be so cool about this. It wasn't so that she could tell me there is nothing wrong with me wanting to go see the guy who tried to my kill my fiancé. Maybe I need her to tell me no, tell me I am being a shitty person so that I know it's true and I don't have to mentally battle with myself. However, she isn't telling me that. So the battle continues.

"Jason...go see him." She says I suck in a breath looking at her from across the room. I haven't sat down yet and she occupies a good portion of the bed as she reads.

"What if he keeps lying to me." I ask She shrugs

"If he is going to lie to Alfred, he's going to lie to you as well. Wouldn't you lie if you were in his position" She replies, I curse knowing she is right. She is always right.

XXX

I stand outside the door, I don't know for how long or even when I am going to actually open the door and walk in. I know I can't wait out here forever, although it seems like it would be a good option. A part of me thinks turning back and coming back later would be better. Maybe when Alfred comes in with his next meal I will come with. Don't they say that using food will help them assoisaite you with good things? No wait that was a cat.

"Are you just going to wait out there?" I hear Dick ask from inside. I freeze looking to the window slot. Sighing I open the door walking into the room. I stop right next to the door, it almost hits my elbow as it closes behind me.

"I was debating if this is even worth my time" I say he scoffs.

He sits on the floor of the glass box. His hair a mess and spiked in some places. He hasn't been able to shower or get out of that box. He looks uncomfortable in his own skin. He is breaking out in some areas on his cheek and chin from stress and not being able to wash his face. He had looked worse than this, but he has also looked better. He seems more excited to see me than he should. I am not here to be there for him or for entertainment. I am here for some god damn answers.

"Why did you do it" I ask, he doesn't make eye contact with me. Instead he sighs cupping his face in his hands.

"Jason, I didn't do anything. I thought you out of all people would know that" He says his voice is dripping with frustration and almost sadness. If Raven was here she could tell me what he is actually feeling, It would be easier.

"You murdered two people and tried to make it a third. You released a psycho, a psycho who I shall remind you tried to kill my future wife" I say, he glares at me with his eyes narrowed if looks could kill his kill ledger would be one name more.

"That's what I am trying to say I didn't do any of that!" He says shaking his hands in front of himself with anger. He looks defeated in many ways and none of them give me good feelings, However I can't just let it go. He would know how to trick us. He would know how to betray us. Maybe that is why it's so hard to believe him now.

"We saw you Dick!" I watched you kill that guy...we also watched you break Terra out of prison, you used one our tech to break her cuffs stopping her powers. We checked the footages, nothing was altered." With each fact Dick looks like he is sinking further and further. "I want to help you Dick. I don't like you being on this side of the glass"

"I don't believe that for a second, You probably like being the favorite of the family now." he says I shake my head.

"No matter what you do, I will never be the favorite of the family. No one can be better than Dick" I say he shrugs tiredly as if his will to live is vanishing beyond my eyes.

"Why doesn't anyone believe me? Why do you think I would hurt someone I used to love, someone who used to be one of my best friends?" He asks, I would be convinced if I didn't see the footage with my own eyes.

"Because we watched it happen Dick. Do you think we like this? We want it to not be true. We don't like that you are trapped here. Alfred is hurting...Tim feels guilty...Bruce is angry at himself for not seeing it. We are all Hurting about this Dick" I answer, he chuckles to himself a little bit.

"Not Damian?" he asks with a small smile

"Damian has been keeping his emotions to himself as always, we don't know how he is feeling." I admit, Damian hasn't said much about the situation.

"How is she doing?" He asks, I don't think he gets to ask that question.

"Don't ask about her. Not until you can tell us why you did it" I say to him, he rolls his eyes running a hand through his greasy hair.

"Why are you so sure about this? What if it was a shapeshifter? What if it was a possession? It could have been anything in this damn world we live in but you guys are so quick to think it's me and only me"

I won't lie, that is a good point. One I know we have thought of before, we have talked about it. To be fair to him, we don't know. However, if we didn't take the precautions and it did turn out to be him. We would be more at fault. Somehow it leaves me wondering if Bruce has already thought of this. Did he try to make an excuse not to put him away but knew we had to? There are too many questions and complications with this.

"You guys couldn't wait to throw me under the rug." He mutters

"We are going to get to the bottom of this regardless. I was just hoping you would level with me about it now. So that I could help you" I say He thinks to himself for a moment and then looks up.

"I do remember causing the explosion, but it was an accident. The lady said she would radio in and have it done but they were homeless I didn't think they had radios so I didn't believe her. Then she did it" he says, it sounds like something he would do. However that isn't what we saw.

Present day-Damian

For the third time I close my eyes and try to center myself or not think, empty my brain. As I so so more parts of my brain begin to work. It leaves me wondering how the hell I am supposed to do this. How to people empty there mind so easily? Is there nothing there to begin with? I breath in slowly and exhale out even slower but the peace doesn't come. I let out a loud sigh opening my eyes and looking around the training room. Raven isn't right next to me as she was before. I look up and see she is levitating in the air. Her focus must be on point.

"I don't think I can do it" I admit rolling my eyes.

"Why not?" She asks, the question takes me off guard. I was half expecting her to give me some motivation but she doesn't. She just asks me why? I don't know because I'm not an idiot who doesn't think.

"I don't know, it's hard to empty my head" I admit

"Is it because you have too much to think about?" she asks

"I always have a thought to think about. I am a smart kid it makes me think" I retort as if she should know this already she gets down to my level softly landing on the floor beside me. I wonder which side that power comes from.

"Damian no one is saying you aren't smart. Just because you can clear your mind doesn't make you stupid" She tells me, I don't believe her.

"How do you simply stop thinking then? How you not sit there and think about everything going on in your life?" I ask I know she is the right person to ask as well. It seems like she always has something going on in her life. From the moment I met her she had things going on that I don't think a person could just put away.

"I don't. I think, but I think about nothingness. I think about a black sky and black everything surrounding me and bringing me to peace." She tells me, I think about it sighing and looking forward again ready to try.

"What if it doesn't work? What if I start thinking again?" I ask she shrugs

"Mediating is thinking, it helps you think about your problems but you have to be at peace first. Tell your brain to wait" She answers with her own eyes closed, I listen closing my eyes and trying to visualize what she said, Dark room...dark everything.

Nothingness.

Peace

Dick in a cage

no wait. We can think about that later.

Peace Nothingness

Dick in a box

What? Stop. Peace dammit!

Opening my eyes I sigh.

"Maybe we should talk about what is on your mind first" She says turning to me putting her knees against mine. I roll my eyes.

"I don't need to talk about it. I need to get passed it" I tell her, she shrugs

"Well sometimes talking about it helps get passed it" She replies, I furrow my brows glaring at her for making a valid point. I sit for too long thinking about what to say. I almost feel like I am annoying myself with my own silence. This shouldn't be hard. You have thoughts. Say them.

"I think I could be turning evil" I reply emotionlessly, Raven nods as if she isn't shocked by my statement.

"Why?" She asks

"I don't know"

"You got to have an idea"

"Well I don't"

"Sure you do, just think about when this started and over what"

"I don't know"

"Okay"

"Dick was the best of us" I outburst She looks shocked now

"If he can't keep good and he was the best of us how am I supposed to" I was raised by evil, I was surrounded by it! How am I going to stay good?" I ask she stops looking down into her lap for a moment too long. She agrees with me. She thinks I am evil. What if everyone thinks I am?

"Damian, you will never be evil" She answers softly

"Hm?"

"Evil people are not worried about being evil. You are worried about it. Which means you are not" She replies

The answer kind of makes sense to me in a way. I never really saw any bad guys wonder if they were bad. They just were. Their choices and thoughts were just bad, however with that realization comes another one, a more painful one. One that as much as I want to pretend I don't care it bothers me deep to my core. That means Dick...is just evil.