11.03.2015

Walt

"This is not the deal I made, you know?"

"What?" I looked up at Jaz.

We had chosen to study in the library today, because really no one besides Cleo was here on the regular. And even Cleo was gone now. Alyssa was working on some new project in the corner, but it was still the quietest place in the mansion. Besides the bedrooms, of course. Not that I would suggest we study upstairs! Just, making a point, I guess.

Anyway, Jaz was fidgeting with the corner of a scroll and looking at me expectedly.

"We agreed that I will help you research the shen symbol if you help me find a new interesting spell to try out. If I wanted someone to look at the floor as I go through the scrolls, I would've asked Sadie."

My head was killing me. It seemed such a great day this morning. I managed to get ready without having to draw energy from an amulet. Which doesn't seem like a big deal, but it was to me. Even just moving has been getting harder and harder since I came. But somehow trying has been easier.

"Sorry," I smiled. "Got a little distracted."

Jaz frowned. "How are you feeling?"

The worry in her voice reminded me of my mom when I would come home early. So my answer came out almost on default.

"Great, why?"

"Walt, your eyes are bloodshot."

I shrugged. "Didn't really sleep well last night. They've been like this since the morning."

Jaz shook her head. "They weren't like this five minutes ago."

That's what happens when you befriend a healer, you dying idiot. "Are you sure?"

She looked back at the scroll on the table. "I, uh, just trust me."

I really am an idiot, aren't I?

"Right."

"Right."

Jaz took a deep breath and got up. "Okay, come."

It was my turn to frown. "What? Where?"

"To the infirmary. What kind of healer would I be if I don't help my friend?"

This was a very bad idea and I knew it. But she took my hand and led me up the stairs and I thought 'Maybe bad ideas is what I'm here for.' For the longest time I didn't allow myself to make mistakes.

I should probably describe the infirmary, right?

/RV1: That's kind of the point of narrating, yes./

Okay. By the way, is no one else worried about the random disembodied voice telling us what to do while we're recording?

/Sadie: Nah. He's usually pretty chill if you let him have a chapter or two.

Carter: His roommate is pretty cool, too.

Sadie -whisper- : Oh my gods, they are roommates!/

The infirmary was on the second floor, possibly so it could be closer to the training rooms. In one corner stood a fountain with a life-size statue of the goddess Sekhmet. All of the beds were lined on one side of the room. Cedar cabinets were facing them. There medicine, herbs, first aid supplies, amulets and poisons were carefully ordered and labeled.

Jaz opened one of the cabinets. It was packed with hundreds of white candles. She took one out and turned to smile at me. This girl was always smiling. Even when the world was falling apart, she still managed to find the hope in every situation. It's one of the things that made her an incredible healer. She made you believe healing is possible to begin with.

"Alright." She gave me the candle and lighted it. The wick burned with a bright white light.

"Now what?" I asked her.

"Now we wait. The color of the flame should change depending on the patient's state."

"Like a mood ring?"

"Exactly!" She turned back to the cabinets, took out a scroll, laid it out on the bed and sat next to me.

"White is healthy. It is also the default color of the flame. If it doesn't change in the next five minutes or so, we can go. Red means critical. Orange is unresponsive, but stable."

"What if you are responsive but unstable?"

"Physically green, mentally light blue."

I looked at the scroll. "Wait, really?"

Jaz nodded. "There are actually more detailed candles here. This is just a general check-up one."

"What is purple?"

"A healing wo-" She froze, eyes fixed on the candle. "Walt?"

"Yes?"

"You-you are…"

I nodded at the black flame and pointed to the last line in the scroll. "Dying."

"We-we could, uh, we could try a different candle. This one must have some defect, right?"

I shook my head. "I am dying."

She stared at my face, as if searching for where the joke was hiding.

"You knew?"

"It's..." I took a deep breath. "Kind of complicated."

"How is it complicated? Your life is coming to an end, the sun has run its course for you, you will fall asleep one day and never wake up, you-"

"Yeah, I think I know what dying means. Thank you."

"I'm sorry." Jaz put the scroll away and turned to face me. The initial shock was starting to settle down, which is the part I feared most.

She was shaking. "Can I hug you?"

I nodded. "Yes."

We hugged, mostly for her comfort rather than mine. That's what happens most of the time. It's so weird, watching people go through the stages of grief right in front of me, as if I am already gone. But I've learned to let them feel it out. Maybe a little more than I allow myself to.

After some time, Jaz pulled away. "Are you alright?"

Despite myself, I laughed. "Jaz, I am dying."

She chuckled. "Yeah. Sorry, stupid question."

"It's okay."

I looked around, at the potions lining the cabinets and at the fountain and at Sekhmet. Right then and there the lioness looked almost alive.

"Jaz?"

"Yes?"

"I know this is a lot to ask of someone," I smiled. "I know this is not the deal we made, but, can I ask you for a favour?"

She nodded. "Of course. What kind of healer would I be if I don't help my friend?"