DC: The Brave and the Bawdy Vol 2 Chapter 2: Justice League: Night on Paradise Island, a dc superheroes fanfic

"Explain your presence here," ordered Hippolyta, "Now."

The Amazonian queen marched down from the trees to the beach below, flanked by armed guards on either side. Martian Manhunter, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Arrow, and Black Canary stood at the shoreline, patiently awaiting the warrior woman's arrival.

"Mother," responded Wonder Woman, falling to one knee, "My apologies for not giving you forewarning, but the matter is urgent."

Hippolyta looked over her daughter at those she had brought with. They included a green-skinned being, and several men and one woman in strange costumes. Even Diana wore an odd outfit as Wonder Woman. Rather than Themysciran garb or armor, she wore some sort of red and gold top along with dark pants and red boots. Though she still carried her sword, shield, and lasso on her belt, she didn't appear to be from Themyscira at first glance.

The others with Wonder Woman knelt shortly after her. Hippolyta saw the hesitation in each of their eyes, but was satisfied seeing them comply. She motioned for all of them to stand.

"Then speak," said Hippolyta, "What is so urgent?"

"There is a beast we've been pursuing," explained Wonder Woman, "We traced him to this part of the globe. Themyscira is the only inhabited island nearby."

"You believe the beast is among us?" said Hippolyta.

"We'd be negligent not to do our due diligence," responded Wonder Woman.

"Tell me more about this beast."

"His name is Gorilla Grodd," explained Wonder Woman, "He is both a being of great physical strength and fantastic telepathic powers. If he really is here, he poses a threat to our people."

"What is your request?"

"That you allow the Justice League one day on the island to search for him."

"Men are not permitted beyond this shore," responded Hippolyta plainly.

"But-"

"You and the other woman may search our island for as long as you wish," said Hippolyta, "The men must leave. As for the green one…"

Hippolyta didn't know what to make of this being.

"My skills would be better suited to telepathically searching the area anyway," said Martian Manhunter, "I'll remain with the others."

"Well," smiled Black Canary, putting her arm around Wonder Woman's shoulders, "I guess it's girl's night, huh?"

Hippolyta raised an eyebrow at Black Canary. The heroine awkwardly moved her arm off of Wonder Woman and stepped back.

"Very well," said Hippolyta, "I'll have the servants prepare your room, Diana. The rest of you, please be gone from this shore with the hour. Thank you."

Hippolyta turned and returned up between the trees toward the center of the island, where the main city was located. Her guards followed closely alongside her and soon the Justice League were the only ones standing on the beach.

"Well," scoffed Green Arrow, "that could have gone better."

"You sure you two will be alright without backup?" asked Superman.

"Oh please," dismissed Black Canary, "This is Grodd, not Darkseid. Have some faith."

"They'll be fine," said Batman, "Let's go."

Batman turned and returned to the speedboat that he and the other unpowered members of the team had ridden to the island. Green Arrow was shortly behind him. Flash sped off across the sea and Superman flew away. Martian Manhunter stayed behind for a moment.

"Reach out to me the moment you learn anything," ze said, "Good luck."

With that, Martian Manhunter flew off as well. Wonder Woman turned and began her walk inland. Black Canary jogged after her.

"Hey," she chirped playfully, "Now that the boys are gone, do you have any secrets you want to share?"

"Let's stay focused on the mission," said Wonder Woman.

"Like that fight in Markovia," continued Black Canary, "Did you really have sex with Batman afterward?"

"Canary!"

"What?" smiled the fishnet clad blonde back, " I'd tell you if I had."

"I know," sighed Wonder Woman, "I know you would."

"Wow," whispered Black Canary.

"I know," said Wonder Woman, "You can see the whole city from here."

Wonder Woman and Black Canary were seated atop an enormous ornate arch on the edge of the Themysciran city. From there they could indeed see just about every road and plaza. It had grown late and the city was lit by starlight and the lanterns hung outside various homes and temples.

Wonder Woman and Black Canary were watching for anything unusual. Grodd rarely worked directly, so he'd likely be operating through the actions of humans under his control. Though they had been watching for several hours, the two women hadn't seen anything.

"Have I mentioned I hate stakeouts?" groaned Black Canary.

"You have," said Wonder Woman, "but surely you do this all the time in our line of work?"

"Yeah," said Black Canary, "but usually I have GA to flirt with or Speedy to mess with."

"Mess with?"

"Yeah, you know," said Black Canary, "Noogies, wet willies, wedgies…"

Wonder Woman let out a snort of laughter.

"What?"

"Nothing," smiled Wonder Woman, "It's funny."

"Honestly I'm surprised you even know what those are."

"A friend of mine enlightened me," said Wonder Woman, "When I brought my little sister from here to the world of man she learned all about the noogie, the wet willy, and the wedgie firsthand.*"

Black Canary winced.

"What?"

"A wedgie from Wonder Woman?" chuckled Black Canary nervously, "That's gotta sting. I'd hate to see that. Actually, who am I kidding? That'd be hilarious to see."

The two chuckled. Then they sat in silence for a few more minutes, watching the streets.

"I did," said Wonder Woman suddenly out of nowhere.

"What?"

"After Markovia. I did sleep with Batman."

"You're kidding!" beamed Black Canary, "You have to tell me all about it! I mean you two-"

"Three."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"King Orin was with us too."

"Freaking Aquaman!?" cried Black Canary, "You had a threeway with Batman and Aquaman!?"

"I suppose that's one way of phrasing it."

"Holy shit, girl," smiled Black Canary, "And I thought I was hot stuff for shacking it up with one superhero."

"Does everyone from the world of men see sex as an achievement?"

"Pretty much."

"Strange," said Wonder Woman, "On Themyscira it's more of a way of showing love and affection."

"No jealousy, no competition," considered Black Canary, "I guess that's why they call it Paradise Island."

"Canary," said Wonder Woman in a hushed tone all of the sudden, "There."

Black Canary followed Wonder Woman's line of vision and saw a cloaked figure sneaking into one of the temples through the back.

"You have incredible eyesight," said Black Canary, squinting.

"Let's go," said Wonder Woman, grabbing the back of Black Canary's leather jacket.

Black Canary let out a surprised yelp as Wonder Woman leapt off the arch and pulled the Canary with her. Wonder Woman landed on the paved road below with such force that it left small craters where her feet struck. She gently placed Black Canary on the ground and sprinted off for the temple and blinding speeds. Black Canary sighed and jogged after her.

A minute or so later Black Canary joined Wonder Woman at the entrance to the main worship room of the temple. The temple in question was the Temple of Nike, Goddess of Victory. Laurels lined the walls between painted depictions of battle blessed by Nike. Across the room was a large chest, which the cloaked figure had opened.

"Identify yourself!" ordered Wonder Woman, drawing her sword.

The woman spun around, pulling out a sword of her own. It appeared to be made of a shining bronze. Wonder Woman could feel the magical energy coming off of it. The woman had stolen a blade blessed by Nike.

"I should've guessed you'd follow me here," said the woman, "Humans are nothing if not predictable."

"Grodd!" realized Black Canary.

"That body is not yours to command!" roared Wonder Woman, "Give her back!"

Wonder Woman whipped her shield at the woman, who swiftly responded with the sword. She deflected the shield away effortlessly, as if the shield wanted to be blocked. Wonder Woman gritted her teeth with frustration.

"What was that!?" cried Black Canary.

"She has a blade blessed by Nike," explained Wonder Woman.

"What does the blessing do?"

"It guarantees victory."

"Great," sighed Black Canary.

The woman ran up to Wonder Woman and soon they were locked in a sword fight. Wonder Woman held her own, but couldn't land a single blow on her opponent. Truthfully, she wasn't sure if she wanted to. This wasn't Grodd she was fighting, it was one of her sisters. She wouldn't dare strike her down.

Wonder Woman cried out as the woman disarmed her with a strike so skilled it knocked the blade clear from her hands. Wonder Woman only barely managed to block the incoming strikes with her wrist guards, rapidly moving her arms to keep up with her opponent's speedy swordplay.

Black Canary sprinted over to the fight, unwilling to wait on the sidelines. She lined herself up next to their fight, faced the woman controlled by Grodd, and let out a concentrated burst of sonic force from her mouth. The woman was flung across the temple and struck the opposite wall so hard she dropped her sword. She went to reach for it, but Wonder Woman was there in an instant and kicked the blade away.

"Excellent work, Canary," said Wonder Woman, "though there is little honor in a victory won by outnumbering the opponent."

"Yeah," smiled Black Canary back, "I figured if she was guaranteed victory in battle, the only way around that was to kinda cheat."

Report, thought Wonder Woman, Grodd's here. We just ran into a woman under his control.

Do you need backup? responded Martian Manhunter.

Not immediately, thought Wonder Woman, but see if you can find any sign of him near the island.

Understood.

"Come," said Wonder Woman, "We must tell my mother that Grodd is indeed here."

"I wish to speak with my mother!" ordered Wonder Woman.

"The queen sleeps," said one of the guards plainly, "What is so urgent that I can't wait until morning?"

Wonder Woman and Black Canary stood before the two towering guards at the door to Hippolyta's bedroom. Truth be told, they were only towering in comparison to Black Canary. Wonder Woman exceeded all of them in height.

"There is an immediate threat to Themyscira!" yelled Wonder Woman, "Now tell her-!"

"Enough!" boomed Hippolyta's voice.

The radiant queen of the Amazons emerged from the door behind the guards, dressed in a fine white sleeping gown. She stared Wonder Woman down intensely.

"What is it, Diana?"

"It is as the Justice League feared," said Wonder Woman, "Grodd is here. He is using his powers to steal from sacred temples and possibly plans to do far worse. This beast can control others with his mind, Mother. You need to put the city in a state of emergency and put together a-"

"I will do no such thing," said Hippolyta.

"What!?" cried Black Canary.

Hippolyta glared daggers at the woman before returning her gaze to her daughter.

"What evidence have you of this villain's presence?"

"We witnessed a woman under his control, Mother!"

"What you are proposing is a massive military and political undertaking," said Hippolyta, "You can't expect me to do it based on the witness of one woman and an outsider."

"Hey!" protested Black Canary.

This time the guards each took a step toward her, hands on their weapons. Black Canary let her muscles loosen and backed up, raising her hands in a sign of peace.

"Since when has my word not been enough!?" demanded Wonder Woman.

"You presume too much from your heritage," said Hippolyta, "Now I've had enough of this. Both of you will depart first thing in the morning. Good night."

Hippolyta returned to her quarters and closed the doors behind her. Black Canary growled and made a rush to the door. The two guards took action immediately. Black Canary narrowly dodged a sword swipe by jumping back.

"What are you doing!?" demanded Wonder Woman, "Stand down!"

Neither guard listened. They prepared to attack Black Canary again, but the superheroine let out a sonic scream right into their faces. Both cried out in pain as the soundwaves knocked them onto their backs and assaulted their ears.

"What is this!?" demanded another guard from down the hall.

"I said stand down!" roared Wonder Woman, grabbing the two guards' heads and slamming them together.

Both guards fell to the ground unconscious. By then a small squadron of guards had arrived to join the frey. They all seemed more eager to fight the Justice League members than to hear them out.

"Run!" yelled Wonder Woman, "I'll hold them off!"

"But-"

"My mother may be horribly misguided," said Wonder Woman, "but she's still my mother. She'll forgive me. She may not be so generous with you."

That was reason enough for Black Canary to run. She may have been superhuman, but right now she was on an island of the planet's greatest warriors. She knew what her odds were against that.

Black Canary made it out the palace window and scaled down the side of the massive building with as much speed and grace as she could muster. Soon she was in the courtyard and sprinting for the front gate. That's when that very gate swung shut, Amazon guards smiling at her from the other side.

"Damn!" cursed Black Canary.

She redirected her sprint to the alleyway across the grounds to the garden behind the palace. There was a climbable fence there that Black Canary was confident she could get away using. By the time she was within sight of the fence, she could hear what must have been half a dozen guards shouting from a distance. They'd catch up to Black Canary in a matter of seconds.

Black Canary refused to let that dissuade her. She leapt onto the fence and clambered up the side of it with both hands and feet. She heard the sound of clanking metal terrifyingly close behind her just as she reached the top of the fence. Her chances of getting away were slim, but maybe if she made it over this fence-

RRRIIIPPP!

"Oooooh…." moaned Black Canary.

Black Canary had made it over the fence, but her boots never reached the ground. Instead the back of her utility belt had snagged atop the spokes of the fence. What was more, the belt was run through the belt loops of Black Canary's black leather shorts. As a result, the belt ended up catching her in the air by shoving that leather up her butt, taking her fishnets and underwear along with it.

"Leather wedgie…" groaned Black Canary, "What a way to go…"

By now several guards stood on either side of the fence, pointing long spears at Black Canary ready to impale her at any moment. There was no escaping now. She'd been caught.

"Canary?" called Wonder Woman down the hall, "Hello?"

"Yeah I'm here," grumbled Black Canary from the cell nearby.

Wonder Woman approached the cell and looked inside. Though the cell was clean and well taken care of, its prisoner had not received the same treatment. Black Canary sat cross legged on the floor with a collar around her neck, chained to the center of the floor of the cell.

"First the leather wedgie now this," sighed Black Canary, "This hasn't been my most dignifying day."

"Leather wedgie?"

"Forget it," dismissed Black Canary, "Why are you here? Did you convince them to let me go?"

"Unfortunately no," frowned Wonder Woman, "Neither my mother nor the council seem interested in trusting someone accused of attacking the queen's guards."

"Grodd got to them."

"I had that thought too," said Wonder Woman, "My mother was acting particularly strange. I will speak with her again. This time I will be more assertive and interrogate her thoroughly."

"How will you-? Oh."

Wonder Woman smiled as she held up her lasso.

"Mother!" announced Wonder Woman, standing at the entrance to the throne room.

"Diana," noted Hippolyta from the throne, "what further nonsense have you to present?"

Wonder Woman drew her lasso quickly and whirled it over her head. Multiple guards prepared their weapons, but Wonder Woman had flung the lasso before they could respond. The golden rope had ensnared Hippolyta completely.

"Are you your true self, Mother?" demanded Wonder Woman.

"...no!" admitted Hippolyta, "This woman's body is not her own!"

Several of the wary guards lowered their weapons. Others stayed just as alert. There was a general aura of confusion about the room.

"Who are you!?" demanded Wonder Woman.

"I… am…. Grodd!" cried Hippolyta.

The Amazon flexed her arms and broke free from the golden lasso wrapped around her. Wonder Woman leapt at her mother. Hippolyta brought up her arms and held her daughter back as she tried to force her way past.

"Release my mother!" ordered Wonder Woman.

"Foolish human!" responded Hippolyta.

Wonder Woman's mother forced past her grip and pinned her daughter. Wonder Woman fought against the pin and eventually rolled over and forced Hippolyta over. Hippolyta pushed Wonder Woman off, but Wonder Woman rolled around behind her and forced her into a headlock.

"Sorry, Mother," offered Wonder Woman, "I need to bring you to your senses somehow."

Wonder Woman was out of good ideas, so she figured it was about time to try a bad one. She kept her mother in a headlock with one arm as she brought the other hand to her mouth to wet her finger. Then she shoved that finger into Hippolyta's ear. She writhed for a second before undergoing a single convulsion. Wonder Woman loosened her grip and Hippolyta forced herself free.

"What…" she murmured, "...is going on?"

"There is an outside force controlling you," said Wonder Woman, "and several of our greatest warriors."

Diana! came a thought from Martian Manhunter, We've apprehended Grodd. How are things on your end?

Just fine, thought Wonder Woman, Thanks.

"Diana," muttered Hippolyta, "what have I done?"

"A number of things," mused Wonder Woman, "including- Oh, right! You need to free Black Canary. She's innocent."

"Oh dear," said Hippolyta, "I suppose I have a lot to rectify, don't I?"

"You sure do," smiled Wonder Woman.

"-then as Black Canary was fleeing the guards," recounted Wonder Woman, "she got caught when the back of her pants managed to hook on a fence. She got, as she called it, a 'leather wedgie.'"

Flash, Green Arrow, and Superman all let out a chuckle. Black Canary huffed and crossed her arms. That wasn't exactly something she would have told the boys.

"How did you break Grodd's control over your mother?" asked Superman.

"I soaked my finger in my saliva and pushed it deep into her ear."

"A wet willy!?" laughed Flash.

"What were you doing during all of this?" Green Arrow asked Black Canary.

"Captured," answered Wonder Woman, "After the leather wedgie Black Canary remained in my mother's custody until I freed her."

"Way to go, babe," snickered Green Arrow.

"Come here, you!"

Black Canary threw her boyfriend into a headlock, knocking the hat from his head. She then proceeded to dig her knuckles into his scalp while he tried to pull away at her grip.

"Alright, alright!" pleaded Green Arrow, "Uncle! Uncle!"

"Given Wonder Woman's latest technique," chuckled Flash, "You might want to consider yourself lucky she didn't give you a wedgie."

"Oh," dismissed Black Canary, releasing Green Arrow, "She wouldn't."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," smirked Wonder Woman.

"You're…" chuckled Black Canary nervously, "...joking, right? You wouldn't really…?"

Wonder Woman cracked her knuckles. Black Canary spun around to sprint in the opposite direction, but Wonder Woman was faster. She swiftly caught Black Canary by the back of her jacket and lifted her up over her head.

"No!" cried Black Canary, "Not in front of the guys- ACK!"

Wonder Woman had released her hold on the jacket and instead grabbed a hold of the red fabric under Black Canary's shorts. The underwear stretched to its limit immediately, pulling the hipster briefs to their limit and straining the stitching on her leg holes. Black Canary kicked her feet, still in the air as the underwear dug farther into her before tearing away completely, leaving her in a heap on the floor.

"Wow…" whispered Flash.

Green Arrow let out a long whistle.

Black Canary sighed, trying to ignore the burning deep in her butt."Explain your presence here," ordered Hippolyta, "Now."