Did you REALLY think it would end there? Yes? Well nah.
CHAPTER TWO BITCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
Trollge sat in a room which had little to no meaning geometrically, with the world constantly shifting around him like a Rubix Cube on crack. "Why am i still here? Just to suffer?" Trollge lamented as his hand morphed into the head of the actual Trollge "Because you wanted power like the incel you were and i gave it to you you beta cuck incel" It disappeared like the flash as Trollge let out a REEEEEE of anger just as the crime alarm went off in his head, causing him to smash through multiple layers of reality as he headed to the crime.
Like always, a random fucko of the month was stirring up chaos, except this time it was a guy who looked like he was a shittier version of Witty made in MSPaint. The Crappardier yelled "I'VE GOT IRONIC DEFECIENCY!" Even through no such condition existed and yeeted his head, which was filled with explosive shit, and blew up half the state of Florida and also violated the Geneva Convention a thousand times over.
Trollge then walked in using the power of the tall man incident before morphing into the running man and bodyslamming him into a nearby wall, only for the Crappardier to explode into a mushroom cloud of shit that sent him and Trollge flying across the land until they ended up at the border to Mexico, which had a border built into it thanks trump. The Crappardier literally started pulling shit out of his ass and yeeting it at Trollge who used the power of the Hydrated Man to evade all of it and then the Aurora Woods to beat the collective FUCK out of the Crappardier.
Just then, as the Crappardier was about to nuke Mexico, a voice yelled "AY YO THE PIZZA HERE" before a slice of pizza that was so sharp that it cut through the Crappardier's legs did what it did. "OH, NI-!" The Crappardier shouted as he fell down a set of stairs leading into a large bunker which was promptly flown into space and collided with the nearest spacecraft for no apparent reason other than shit happens.
As the trollge-infused her turned around, he saw a giant fat anthro bird wearing an apron and other delivery shit you'd expect to find on a pizza salesman, this was Cuix aka the Immortal Chef. "I thought this fucking place was criminal free." "It never was, bro" "Wdym?" This was cut short as someone in italy started screaming about something someone else said in clear daylight, causing Cuix to fucking spazz into the distance as Trollge fucked off back to his home dimension.
The Cancellord was using his power of bringing up old and controversial tweets and making people turn that person into their definition of the most hated person on the planet to gain all the clout imaginable, only for a giant blast of hot cheese to hammer him and send him flying into the Leaning Tower of Piza, which righted itself before collapsing and sinking part of Rome. Chef flew in, riding on a pizza slice like he was the Pizza Surfer or something like that as the Cancellord fired a barrage of #CancelCuix tweets at him, which didn't work because he didn't have a twitter account to begin with.
Realizing that that shit wouldn't work, the Cancellord harnessed all the power of cancel culture and started trying to fucking stand rush Cuix as if he were a jojo character, but since he wasn't he ended up dislocating his shoulders and knocking himself unconscious with the backlash of each hit. As the Cancellord fell, he screamed "i'll make u public enemi numbar won sun!one1!" The Immortal Chef picked up the Cancellord and then hurled him into Alcatraz where he belonged which then bounced off the side of the earth and into a black hole for good measure.
Elsewhere, a giant wall of dark matter was now surrounding the globe because Fortnite had invaded planet earth for the dub. Every hero was busy whooping the asses of every fortnite player in existence as they shot at them with weapons that didn't do jack shit because they were superhuman and the player's weren't. A guy who looked like a fucking inflatable threw a Boogie Bomb at Fanta Man, only for him to dunk the bomb into his face and make him start to do stupid dances until he poofed out of existence.
Just then, the Advertiser suddenly exploded from the earths crust with a booming yell of "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY 20 DOLLAR FORTNITE CARD YOU FUCKS" and started shooting stimulus checks everywhere, drowning the lands in a massive amount of cash that they couldn't spend in time. Fanta Man, however, resolved this by turning the cash into even more Fanta with his Fantakinesis, effectively draining the stimulus checks and leaving Advertiser without cash to buy the card. Advertiser yelled "FUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!" and started shitting gold nuggets everywhere.
Just then, a heat blast came out of nowhere, turning the gold into piles of bronze that were absolutely worthless in todays economy. Sure enough, the canadian fire hero Thermite (which was ironic given the place he was stationed) had arrived and was now ready to burn Advertiser to a crisp. "Time to put this bitch-ass on blast!" He shouted with the mad limerick skillz of Eminem as he fired heat blasts down at Advertiser, who was fortnite dancing to create a protective barrier of pure trendiness. GL puked at this sight, spitting up a bunch of Furbies from his mouth as he hammered away at the Advertisers shield with sheer force along with the other heroes.
Thermite increased his heat by oh-my-jesus degrees and fired another blast of flame as Chef fired boiling tomato sauce at the barrier, causing it to explode with the deafening sound of "DO YOU LIKE FORTNITE?!" With that, Advertiser harnessed the power of all the Battle Royale youtubes and started firing giant V-Bucks at everyone that wasn't Chef or Thermite, sending them to Brazil-no wait i actually meant Fortnite as punishment. It was now down to two heroes and the literal embodiment of being a sellout. The three had a five alarm staredown before the Advertiser yelled "I'm gonna say the n-word!" But it didn't come because his vocal cords were slashed with a mushroom.
Using the power of Raid: Shadow Legends and Undertale, he attempted to do that one CFC thing where despite never having come from a RPG game they still get drafted into the thing reguardless, except Thermite literally burned the screen away and created an Illuminati fire triangle underneath the Advertiser as Chef dunked a giant clove of garlic into his face, which exploded into a giant mushroom cloud of gas as he was sent flying, coughing up more gas as he yelled "OH MY GOD THAT SHIT WAS SO NASTY I THINK MY SINUSES HAVE JUST PASSED ON HOLY FUCK".
The Advertiser summoned a whole bunch of characters from Raid and started his sponsor thing. "O shit! If we don't stop him people are actually going to buy the game!" Chef fixed that by firing cheese onto his mouth, sealing the Advertiser's lips shut and making him unable to finish the ad as Thermite continued to melt the Raid characters. Ripping the cheese off his mouth, he harnessed the power of every big cumpany and fired a giant stream of credit card bills, taxes and other money related shit at them, which didn't even matter since Thermite melted all of them and Chef turned him into a pizza which he yeeted into the sun.
The two sat down on a nearby building as the rest of the heroes returned, looking quite puzzled. "Hey chef?" Yeah thermite?" You ever wonder why were here?" Chef looked at Thermite with a perplexed expression.
"Not really."
End. XD