Heist
Disclaimer: Good Omens belongs to people who are not me.
Rating: PG-13
Authoresses note: Aziraphale needs help.
Chapter Two
"So, when you say the biggest me?" Crowley smirked, looking away from the road. Aziraphale winced and gestured for Crowley to look forward, the car was going far too fast for him not to be watching.
"I do not mean it literally; we do not need another episode like the one in Spain."
"Spoil sport," Crowley muttered, finally looking back to the road.
"What I need from you is you at your most demonic," Aziraphale said softly.
"See, that's where I'm a little hazy," Crowley said, enjoying the situation far too much for Aziraphale's liking. "Most demonic isn't that specific, do you want fire and brimstone? A giant snake would be pretty demonic. Or do you just want me to stand around and glare at people?"
Aziraphale let out a long sigh.
"Fine," he said. "And don't think I don't know what you're doing."
"And what am I doing?" Crowley smirked wider.
"You're fishing for information, I already told you I can't tell you and you keep pushing."
"I just want to know what I'm supposed to do," Crowley said, looking away from the road again.
"You're supposed to keep your eyes on the road," Aziraphale couldn't help the flinch as the car narrowly missed driving through a rather large tree. They had left London at record speed and were now traveling through the extremely dark English countryside. Aziraphale was trying not to watch.
"The road's not going anywhere," Crowley said, but did thankfully look back out the front window. "Are you going to tell me anything? If you don't, I'll have to improvise."
"Heaven forbid," Aziraphale whispered. "Fine, what I need from you is a distraction."
"And who am I distracting?"
"People, humans," Aziraphale said.
"Oh good, glad we cleared that up, at least it's not ducks, or elephants," Crowley said.
"For goodness's sake, Crowley," Aziraphale huffed. "I need you to keep these people's attention on you while I… while I do something else."
"And you want me to do that by being my most demonic?" Crowley said, taking a tight corner far too fast but miraculously staying on the road and not ending up in a hedge.
"It seems like the best way to do it, at least I thought so," Aziraphale said.
"Now that's got me thinking," Crowley said. "What people would be best distracted by a demon being as demony as he can be?"
"All people," Aziraphale huffed.
"No, all people would run away, well most sensible people," Crowley said. "The kind of people who would be distracted, properly distracted, to the point where they would stay and watch a demon being demony, well, they are a very specific type of people."
"I'm sure I wouldn't know," Aziraphale looked out the side window at the darkness.
"Don't be like that, angel," Crowley said. "I'm here aren't I, I'll help, just don't expect me to help with no consequences."
"And those consequences involve you asking irritating questions and making ridiculous assumptions?" Aziraphale said, still not looking at Crowley.
"Pretty much," Crowley said. Aziraphale shook his head.
"I suppose it is a small price to pay," he said, and swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "I just… I mean… I want you to know that your help will be… extremely helpful."
"You say that" Crowley grinned like a madman and Aziraphale couldn't help but smile back.
"I mean, I appreciate it," he said.
"Thanks, from an angel," Crowley shuddered in a very overdramatic fashion. "Don't tell the other demons."
"Will they laugh at you?" Aziraphale said. "Your reputation will be ruined."
"Better laughing demons than snotty angels," Crowley said. "Careful, don't tell Michael you got help from me or he'll send you a passive aggressive memo."
"I'm long past getting memo's," Aziraphale said without meaning to. He snapped his mouth closed the second the words escaped him. Thankfully, Crowley said nothing, but Aziraphale saw the look he gave him, and if Crowley hadn't been a demon, Aziraphale would have called the look pitying. But demons can't feel pity, so he must have been mistaken.
"You know…" Crowley started, but stopped himself and made an alarmed sound. The car's breaks screamed and Aziraphale nearly put his head through the dashboard.
"What in heaven?" Aziraphale gasped when the car had stopped. "What happened? Where are we?"
"I stopped the car," Crowley said. "And we're almost at your super-secret location."
"I see nothing?" Aziraphale said.
"Yes, well, if I'm going to be big and demony, then turning up in my car takes away from that." Crowley ran his fingers over the dashboard and Aziraphale could have sworn he heard the car purr in response. "Gotta make a grand entrance if I'm being properly demony."
"Oh, I see," he said. So Crowley was taking this at least a bit seriously. Aziraphale opened the door and stepped out. "Right, well, I guess I'll go round the back and um, wait for them to be properly distracted."
"I'll do my very best," Crowley grinned.
Aziraphale felt, not for the first time, that asking a demon for help was a terrible idea.
End Chapter One
Thank you for reading, please review, I'd love to hear what you think of the fic.
For information on published works and upcoming projects, release dates as well as weekly blogs check out www . katiemariewriter . co . uk