Season 4.5x01 Mac + Cage + Matty + Secrets + Phoenix
The next morning
Mac woke up and started going over the events of the last day in his head. Before he started going into his daily depressing thoughts of the day by thinking about all the people who had died because of him.
Gwen
His father
Charlie
Zoe
Jill
Pena
Lasky
They all died because of him, it was all his fault, he was not smart enough, tough enough, fast enough. He just was not enough never was, and never will be. All he does is fail and make mistakes people died, because of him then there are the voices in the back of his head.
You killed them, Mac, the world would have been better if you had never been born. You are never good enough so stop trying. Stop trying, stop caring, stop breathing, stop liv-
Mac is snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of his phone buzzing with a text from Matty telling him to get to the war room now. He quickly got out of bed threw on some clothes went to the living room grabbed some breakfast, before going to see if Cage is awake yet, before he even got to the guest bedroom door Cage is already out of the room dressed and ready to go, she said, "Hey Mac ready to leave."
"Yeah, let's go," Mac told her as they left the house locking the door behind them, they both got into Mac's car and drove to the Phoenix foundation.
FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER
Mac and Cage pulled up to the Phoenix Foundation and headed straight to the war room, once they got there, they were surprised to see they were the first ones in the War Room they even beat Matty to the War Room. Mac sat down on one of the couches and Cage following suit sat down next to him. Mac picked up a paperclip from the bowl and started messing with it. Without a task to do Mac's mind wandered back to the state of self-hatred a never-ending loop, but before he could get too deep into his head Cage almost as if she could tell he was about to get stuck in his head.
"Hey, Mac what have you been doing since I last saw you when you came and visited during the period of time Phoenix was shut down, you know besides stopping the apocalypse?" Cage asked.
Before Mac could answer Cage, Matty walked into the room along with Leanna, Bozer, Riley, Russ, and Desi. Matty walked to the front of the room while everyone else sat or stood facing her while holding her tablet getting ready to address the room on the mission. Suddenly Matty turned to look at the screen which had pictures of collapsed office buildings on it and said,
"These are pictures from Milan they were hit by a minor earthquake yesterday, but that was not the worst part, the quake triggered some sort of explosion which further collapsed the building trapping 50 people inside. This will be all hands on deck, Mac and Cage find what caused the explosion, Riley, Desi, and Russ will be getting people out, Bozer and Leanna will be helping with medical, I will be staying here. Wheels up in twenty." Matty finished.
Everyone quickly got up and headed out of the war room to grab their bags except Mac who had a few more questions for Matty who was accepting this and handed him a manila envelope, while saying,
"Here is all your info blondie, now get out of here,"
"Yes ma'am," Mac said hurriedly while rushing out of the war room to get to the plane.
Watching him leave just reminded her how much she worried about him, and whether he would come back because he had no sense of self-preservation and would willingly die to save one person. With that thought on her mind, Matty set to work getting the coms set up.
Phoenix Jet a Five Hours Later
Cage looked around the plane observing her teammates new and old, Riley, and Desi were sitting as far apart as possible some issues were going on between them, she was not sure if that pair was the best idea. Russ was sleeping, Leanna and Bozer were sitting side by side talking about something both enthusiastically, then there was Mac who was sitting across from her engrossed in something that looked like Matty had given it to him seeing that Mac was about to start spiraling Cage decided to interrupt,
"Hey, Mac, what you are thinking?" Cage asked startling Mac slightly.
"Just trying to figure out the cause of the explosion. Why?" Mac answered without looking up.
Upon hearing that and realizing that he had probably been obsessively scouring the information for five hours Cage grabbed the packet from him and said,
"Mac, I do not think you are going to find out anything else right now so I am confiscating it, also now would be the perfect time to talk about what you have been doing the past couple of weeks?"
Mac was obviously frustrated with himself so hoping to calm him down Cage moved next to him while looking around the room to notice that everybody was either asleep or listening to music with noise-canceling headphones.
Cage said, "Hey Mac what is wrong come on look at me."
He turned to look at her and she could see the outline of one tear tracing its way down his cheek before dripping onto his shirt, but when he realized she must have seen it he turned away from her and whispered weakly,
"Just leave me alone."
Deciding she was not going to get anywhere and did not want to push it Cage let the subject drop and went back to observing the other people on the plane, but before she knew it, they were landing.
At the building that exploded
Russ, Riley, Desi, Mac, Cage, Leanna, and Bozer headed over towards the person who was in charge. Once they got over their Mac said,
"sei tu a comandare qui," (are you in charge here)
The guy told them, "Si mi chiamo Marco," (Yes and my name is Marco)
Mac said, "il mio `e MacGyver, sono Cage, Desi, Riley, Russ, Bozer, e Leanna, siamo stati inviati per aiutare nella ricera e nel salvataggio insieme a medici." (My name is MacGyver this is Cage, Desi, Riley, Russ, Bozer, and Leanna, we were sent to help aid the search and rescue along with medical)
Marco said, "Hey Carl's Jr long time no see" as he hugged Mac.
"Yeah, we will have to catch up later right now lives are at stake," Mac said.
"Wait you know this guy?" Russ asked confused.
"We served in the sandbox together for over a yeah I was the overwatch for another EoD in carl's Jr troop, he was nowhere as good as Carl's Jr was though what was your total amount of IEDs you disarmed," Marco said.
"Umm… 126 in one day overtime over 1000. Now Matty wrote that you asked for me why." Mac asked while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
"We think it is a bomb made by the ghost that was armed with a pressure plate then when the earthquake happened something set it off, but you are the one who has the most experience with the ghost so I figured that you could look at it we already sent an RCV down, but no one could tell for sure," Marco said.
Mac said, "yeah I can do that Cage and I will head in you can just order everyone else around." Mac and Cage walked towards the building leaving everyone else behind.
"Did he really disarm over 1000 IEDs as an EoD Marco?" Leanna asked out of curiosity.
"That he did he was the best EoD to ever grace that place, he saved over thousands of lives back then probably more now. Any way your boss said that Russ, Riley, and Desi are on search and rescue while the other two are on medical." Marco answered.
With that everyone went their different ways armed with walkie talkies and comms.
With Mac and Cage inside the building
Mac went inside the building with Cage at his heels observing the walls that had chunks missing and rebar sticking out of the ceiling, along with rubble and smile fires everywhere. Mac turned on coms and Mattie's voice came through kind of garbled.
Hey, there blondie did you have a nice reunion.
"Yes, it was nice anyway I left the others with Marco Cage and I are heading down to the basement because if this is the ghost then there will be another Bomb, we might lose coms though, so if we go dark do not worry," Mac said.
"It's my job to worry," Matty said.
And with that Mac and Cage headed into the building once they stepped inside, they were not surprised to see small fires smoldering and debris everywhere, Mac having memorized the floor plan on the plan started leading Cage down a dark stairwell that should lead to the basement. Once they were in the stairwell the comms went all garbled until the cut out completely.
"Well, there goes our coms," Mac grumbled while dodging debris that had fallen on the stairwell.
"They cannot hear us so tell me what's wrong Mac before I make you." Cage said but before Mac had a chance to answer a piece of sharp metal fell from somewhere sliced open Macs arm before scraping against his ribs. He just ignored that and kept heading down to the basement.
"Hey, Mac stop you have to wrap your arm." Cage said as she looks over to see his arm bleeding heavily.
"I am fine," Mac said as the finally reached the basement looking around Mac noticed a big hole and went over to it, as soon as he saw it, he immediately frowned.
"What is it." Cage asked.
"This is the ghost alright, but this was not a pressure plate bomb but remotely activated, but with all the debris he should not be able to activate the second one," Mac said while rapidly searching for where the bomb could be when he finally spotted it, he headed over to it and started to panic a little then came the voices as he knelt.
You cannot do it you not good for anything bomb tec.
You are a failure why even try.
The best EoD ha very funny.
Your mentor died because of you.
You cannot do this.
He was snapped out of his thoughts by the presence of another person near him.
"Hey Mac look at me do not panic you got this, okay." Cage said.
"I do not have this Cage this is the most complicated IED I have ever seen; I cannot disarm it," Mac said as he started to get a full-blown panic attack even though he had disarmed more complicated ones.
"You can do it but hurry before the whole room goes up in flames," Cage said.
Mac had finally calmed down and was starting to take apart the bomb which was not a super powerful one, but when the building shifted, and debris fell off the ceiling.
With Russ Desi, and Riley
All three of them had just gone inside the building when they heard a static sound along with the coms going off. They headed up to the fourth floor where most of the people are supposedly about twelve who had been in a meeting. Once they got up there still without saying a single word to each other they heard frantic knocking on one of the doors with debris in front of it so they removed the debris to find the last twelve people in the building.
"Follow us," Russ said. Before heading down the stairs when the whole building shook Riley fell and landed on her shoulder funny several other people fell too, Desi scraped her leg against something metal, Russ just got some small debris rained on him along with everybody else
"Are these the last of them?" Bozer asked right as the whole building shifted then a look of horror crossed his face then he whispered, "Mac."
"these are the last, nothing major for them a couple of concussions, lots of scrapes and cuts, smoke inhalation, concussions, etc. my shoulder is dislocated, Russ has a few minor cuts, and Desi needs stitches, any word on Boy genius and Jedi, how are all the others." Riley asked.
Leanna answered, "Ten people had to be taken in the ambulance, one airlifted everyone else is fine but no word on Mac or Cage."
Mac and Cage
Cage was worried the building had just shifted she had a burn on her elbow a nasty scratch on her leg, but Mac had some bruised ribs, and his arm was probably still bleeding but she could not see any more, she felt something move near her and Macs voice say,
"Cage is that you,"
"yes." She told Mac then he must have turned the flashlight own because now the room was dimly illuminated and she could see were Mac was sitting next to her disarming the bomb with the light was covered with blood soaking his shirt and falling to the ground near it she was about to wrap his arm while he was working when he said,
"Done Cage I did it" but when he tried to get up, he was struggling.
"Stay still so I can wrap your arm once I finish my leg," Cage said as she grabbed Macs SAK and cut off her other pants leg to wrap her leg because even though she had bandages Mac was going to need them after she finished, she grabbed the bandages from her bag and a bottle of water which she handed to Mac then she began wrapping his arm. Once she finished, she stood up wincing at the movement.
"Okay let's go," Cage told Mac helping him stand up while he was still holding the bomb.
Mac and Cage started their trek back to the stairway dodging small fires and rubble as they go unclear of who's supporting who.
"Mac why do you always jump headfirst into danger." Cage questioned.
He turned to look at her and said, "I am expendable."
Cage was shocked by his statement because he just told her that he does not matter. They climbed the stairs in silence for a while before she said, "you are by no means expendable think about how crushed everyone would be if you died Mac." He just shrugged in response.
Before Cage could continue the subject, she noticed that there was light then finally they were on the first floor when the building shook again with the settling of the rubble it threw both her and Mac onto the ground neither were hurt in the fall though so they got back up but before they could continue Mac drew in the dirt YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE. Cage was confused by what he meant until she thought about what Mac had said earlier. Planning on talking to him later Mac and Cage continued onwards out the door, when they finally got there, they stumbled out of there somehow without getting noticed until they got to the medical tent where the team had ended up gathered that's when Cage realized that Mac was still holding the bomb. Cage and Mac just went into medical sat down waiting to see how long it would take them to be noticed finally.
"You guys are alive," Bozer exclaimed.
"Last time I checked, but I think we might both need stitches," Mac answered to his best friend.
That is when Riley noticed Mac's bloody bandages on his arm and Cage's bloody pants and said, "You think it is a miracle you guys both did not bleed out."
Cage thought she might have just imagined it but what she heard Mac whisper under his breath turned her blood cold, not for a lack of trying. Cage decided that as soon as she got back, she was going to talk with Matty and just Matty in private. The next thing she knew both her and Mac was getting whisked away for blood transfusions, and stitches.
Five hours later the Phoenix Jet
Cage was still wide-awake analyzing Macs behavior from the entire time she knew him and was utterly terrified because the entire time she had known Mac he always thought of himself to be the expendable one that he was not important that he was going to be left to die at some point so why not start early. Cage glanced around the plane to see Desi curled up sleeping on her side, Leanna and Bozer curled up together, Riley doing something on her computer with her noise-canceling headphones on but she looked ready to plop over any time, Russ was talking to somebody quietly at one end of the plane near Desi. Cage glanced behind her to see Mac just sitting there wide awake with the look in his eyes when he is figuring something out, deciding that this is the best time to talk to Mac in private she got up and moved towards Mac catching Russ' eyes on the way and pointing at Mac he gave a brief nod and continued his conversation. Once Cage sat down next to Mac she whispered into his ear,
"I am going to get straight to the point Mac, are you suicidal?" he turned to look at her and she could see the shock in his eyes and a look that said how did you know then whispered back to her,
"No of course not." Before turning away from her once again.
Cage just looked at Mac trying to tell if he was lying or not, and whispered
"Really?"
Cage was waiting for an answer when she got none she was going to say something else when she noticed he was asleep, and he looked like he needed it he looked as tired as when he sneaks into the lab at night for a week straight. Wait Cage looked over at Riley to see she was still awake also, so Cage went over to her and asked,
"Hey, Riley will you sign me into the security camera records no questions asked."
"Sure," Riley said as she grabbed the phone did some typing, and then handed it back to Cage, taking it Cage went back next to Mac and started looking at the night footage which showed Mac showing up around eleven and leaving around five for the past month. Cage not knowing who else to show sent the footage to Matty.
Cage: Uhm watch the footage for the last month at night.
Matty: How is blondie still alive? How did you figure it out?
Cage: no idea how he is still alive, also he looked as tired as he was when he was searching for his dad. Also is this conversation hackable.
Matty: Riley is not allowed to hack another employee's phone unless they are missing for over twenty-four hours, why?
Cage: well, you know how Mac cut his arm and had to get a blood transfusion well that did not happen at the end of the day it happened at the beginning of the day, but that is not the worst part when we came out of the building Riley said it was a miracle that we were still alive under his breath I heard him whisper not for lack of trying. Then when we got back on the plane and everybody was asleep except for Riley but she was focused on hacking something, and Russ was on the phone. I straight up asked him if he was suicidal and he said no of course not. But I am not sure if he is telling the truth and I do not want to pressure him. He also thinks that he is expandable, and I am suspecting that he would not care if he lived or died
Matty: fuck. What are we going to do for now we keep this between ourselves and the next op you two are not needed so I will be coming over to Macs house since you guys both have three days off for blood loss?
Cage felt a little bit better after that conversation and the fact that Matty would be coming over to Mac's house made her feel better. Slowly she drifted into sleep only to be awakened by someone panting and whimpering near her waking up she glanced around the jet to see everyone asleep except, Russ no surprise (seriously does he ever sleep imagine him and Mac Hanging out at Phoenix not sleeping in the wee hours of the morning) then she turned to Mac and saw him curled up crying and sweating but most definitely awake.
"Hey Mac, what's wrong, nightmare?" Cage asked quietly he only nodded not want to pry or leave him alone she saw Russ catch her eye and do the signal for nightmare from the time they worked together, she signaled it back also mouthing that he was fine she was surprised when he looked like he breathed a sigh of relief. Cage found that odd, so thinking about the odd behavior she texted him.
Cage: He ended up drunk at your house one night did not he, and he probably rambled what he felt instead of just brushing things off as he is fine.
Russ: yes, no point lying to you after all same thing happened to you once upon a time, and I assume that since you are not blind like Desi, Riley, and Bozer you noticed his interesting behavior, and I assume Matty knows now, which is good because it is against code to tell someone what another person said while they are drunk unless they already know.
Cage: what did he say?
Russ: he repeatedly asked when I was going to leave like everyone else from the second he appeared drunk on my doorstep, I took him inside and asked what he meant he kept talking about how everybody always either leaves or dies because of him, then he switched to asking me to end him so people would stop dying then he passed out and did not remember the conversation in the morning, now we worked out our problems and hang out at times talking about other secret societies that might want to reset the world. We are about to land I can carry the genius boy out to his car before anyone else wakes up if you want it should be by the landing strip
Cage: yes, I have his keys so were good
As soon as the plane landed Russ came and picked Mac up carrying him the short distance before heading back to wake the others up but before he left, he whispered,
"Cage he is really light like concerningly so when was the last time you saw him eat." Before Cage could answer Russ was already back at the plane. Cage got in Mac's car and drove to his house Cage woke Mac up who was confused about how he got to his car Cage just told him he must have still been asleep partway. Mac and Cage went into the house and went to bed.
Matty next morning in her car.
Matty had already sent Desi, Riley, Bozer, and Leanna on an intel-gathering mission that should take a week, had a quick chat with Russ concerning their Genius Boy, such as his concerning weight and his semi suicidal thoughts and behavior, and honestly, she was worried but at least Mac and Cage had at least three days off. She pulled into Mac's driveway parked her car then headed his front steps before entering to see Cage already awake and drinking coffee.
"Hey Matty," Cage said while leaning against the counter.
"Cage, how is our Baby Einstein?" Matty said while sitting on the couch moving the mess to sit.
"He is alive, and awake even though he should have slept more because if my estimations are correct this is the first time he has slept in over a week." Cage said.
"Matty, what are you doing here?" Mac interrupted from where he was standing in the kitchen with the fridge door open.
"I came to check on your blondie," Matty said while standing up and starting to walk towards Mac.
"Well, I am fine just a few stitches nothing life-threatening," Mac told her firmly in an I am done talking tone of voice while closing the fridge.
"Not that blondie but would you like to tell me why you refused to wrap your arm, go into the lab late at night, think your expendable, think that we would not care if you die, not sleeping." Matty said softly while looking her agent up and down and the sight was sad, Mac looked skinny and kind of pale with dark rings under his eyes.
"I do not know what you are talking about," Mac said firmly and started walking back towards his bedroom only to be stopped by Cage.
"Mac you need to talk, now." Cage said firmly still standing in his way.
"There is nothing to talk about I am one hundred percent perfectly fine," Mac said while turning around and running the opposite way pulling something down from the ceiling climbing up, and pulling it closed behind him.
"That did not go well. Not one bit." Cage said while walking back to sit next to Matty on the couch.
"You think, he is in a complete lockdown of his emotions and locked himself in the secret room only three people know exist, I know that Mac went and visited you in Australia after he and Desi broke up and Riley and Bozer started to ignore his calls, what was he like then because when he came back, he was the happiest I had seen him since Jack left?" Matty asked.
"He was a little down in the dumps when he came claiming he needed to get away, but I really think he wanted something stable I almost got him to stay Matty I was so close, my sister and her husband loved him he helped with their green company he fit right into Australia I think if it wasn't for his grandfather's house he would have Matty maybe if he had he would have never gotten this bad. I should have come back with him." Cage said sadly while shaking her head.
Suddenly Cage's phone buzzed with a text from Mac saying,
Mac: It is not your fault Sam. It is mine.
Matty who had read the text over Cage's shoulder said, "Blondie another thing that is not your fault, but you blame yourself for now come down here and talk that is an order."
Mac: Only if you swear on your life that anything I say stays in this house and you do not utter a single word about it to anybody else. When you do that I will come down.
Matty and Cage both sighed then repeated the oath in unison, once they had down that the secret hatch opened and Mac came down closed the hatch then leaned up against the wall pulling his knees up to his chest and sighing, he said,
"What do you want to know. You only get one question."
"Blondie do you not care if you live or die?" Matty asked getting off the couch to go take a closer look at Mac what she saw broke her heart he looked so small and tired very tired.
Mac ignored her, but Matty came over and gave him a stare that said tell me there is no way you are getting out of this
"Fine because it would be easier for me to just die on accident than wait for everybody to leave me like usual," Mac said quietly with tears beginning to form at the corners of his eyes.
"Blondie, we won't leave you, and how long have you felt this way and put yourself in the line of fire," Matty asked while looking into his eyes.
"I do not know how long I have felt this way." Mac said.
"How long have you been putting yourself in the line of fire." Matty asked
"Fine! Bozer's little brother had died in a turf match between cartels when we were fourteen so by the time I was fifteen and Bozer's family had not gotten justice I decided to become a vigilante to capture members of the cartels, tie them up and have them arrested, I actually think I had Riley mail me ID photos and stuff on multiple occasions after I called the police I would wait in the shadows wearing one of Bozer's masks I would always leave a paper clip behind shaped like a phoenix, eventually I started to find bombs taped to peoples cars and stuff so I started to disarm those too I knew that if I messed up I would be killed I never messed up, and I left behind the bomb and a paper clip that was shaped like a phoenix, that went on until I went to MIT at seventeen once Bozer graduated," Mac said.
"Wait you were the Phoenix?" Matty and Cage asked.
"Yeah, why please do not arrest me," Mac said worriedly.
"I am not going to arrest you, Mac, you saved my life and the lives of other government agents, also I guess that case is closed, but I won't tell the CIA they wanted to find you to recruit you. You know." Matty said.
"Wait the CIA wanted to recruit me, but I am not anything special," Mac said shocked, Matty and Cage shared a look that said can you believe this guy.
Matty could not believe he actually thought he was not special.
"Wait Riley helped you when you were a vigilante to get the right info from where the bad guys post about how great they are." Cage asked.
"Yeah, I think so. Also, I really did not save that many lives." Mac said.
During this Matty was scrolling through her phone looking for something,
"Hey Mac look at this, it is a map of all the car bombs you defused when the CIA was looking for you. Mac one of those lives you saved was mine another was Jacks, Sarah, Mac you saved us all before we even knew you. So do not think that your life is any less important." Matty said.
"Sure, I saved like a few lives but what about the people who died because of me if I was not alive then they would still be alive," Mac said.
"Listen up blondie you do not know that maybe if you were never born thousands of other people would be dead." Matty said, "Now what else is there something else is bothering you too, so speak up."
Mac ignored her and brought his knees further up to his chest while burying his head into them crying softly, they all just sat there in silence for awhile before Mac got up and went into his bedroom locking the door behind him.
"I know just I do not know, why he never told anybody." Matty said while shaking her head before continuing, "His self-worth is really mangled also why can't he see how important and worth it, he is."
"Matty, I want to help him, but I do not know how." Cage said desperately.
"You are helping he smiled for the first time in weeks when he saw you were the new agent," Matty reassured Cage.
"Okay, I am going to try and find some food." Cage said as she walked into the kitchen
With Riley, Desi, Bozer, and Leanna
"Did anyone else feel like something was off about Mac," Riley inquired to the rest of the hotel room they were spread out across.
"He did seem stressed, why?" Bozer asked.
"I mentioned something about wanting track down an old client of my who use due to vigilante work in the LA area under the name Phoenix, they would just ask for the sort of stuff that could get someone arrested, I heard they were pretty good, but no one ever found them that they just disappeared over ten years ago," Riley said.
"OH I heard about that case when I worked at the CIA it was a legend the CIA wanted to recruit them but there were never any fingerprints and the phone call tips were from a phone that had no number and no way to trace it the only clue we had were paper clips shaped like Phoenixes that the phoenix left behind every time they disarmed car bombs, or captured cartels who when describing their captor could not remember much except that they got knocked out then they were tied up. Whoever they were they were good; they saved a lot of lives and got a lot of cartels arrested." Leanna said "But what does that have to do with Mac"
"Paperclips shaped like phoenixes no. Wait Bozer what year did Mac go to MIT, Leanna when did the Phoenix drop of the radar." Riley asked.
"2006, why," Bozer asked not to see where Riley was going with this.
"No, that's when the phoenix stopped contacting me. Bozer if Mac were the Phoenix what would have been his motivation." Riley.
"My little brother, he was killed in the cartel turf wars, no Mac would have told me, he could have done it if he had time to prepare, he could have knocked them out then tied them up he could have built a phone which no one could trace, he could have made phoenixes out of paperclips," Bozer said.
"Wait so you're telling me that Mac is the Phoenix, which so happens to be where we work what did he name it," Desi said sarcastically.
"Actually, he did name the phoenix, it used to be DXS," Riley said.
"What." Leanna Bozer and Desi all said at once turning to look at Riley who was looking at her computer.
"Anyways enough conspiracy theories as delightful as it is," Russ said interrupting them all to see his face on Riley's computer.
"Where is Matty," Bozer asked.
"She decided to take the morning off for personal matters vacation Mac and Cage are already out for three days and you guys are on an easy intel-gathering mission so the perfect time for her to relax." Russ said, "but you guys have work to do."
With that conversation shoved to the back of their minds so they could focus on the mission on hand they left the hotel room.
Cage and Matty
Matty was sitting on the couch while Cage was trying to find some food in Mac's cabinets unsuccessfully.
"Um, Matty there is like no food here except for some cereal." Cage said while looking through the cabinets with concern.
"No surprise there considering he hardly ever eats," Matty said with concern lacing her voice.
"Matty I guess am going to have to run to the store to get actual food, can you try talking to Mac." Cage yelled as she walked out the front door once she was gone Matty could hear the faint sound of sobbing coming from Mac's bedroom not crying but full-on sobbing and the sound breaks her heart and brings out her doormat maternal instincts, so she walks towards Mac's door and gently knocked while saying,
"Mac open it up before I open it myself and come in," Matty says gently.
"Go away just leave me alone," Mac choked out between sobs.
Seeing that she was getting nowhere she grabbed a credit card from her wallet and used it to open the door quietly to see Mac facing away from her curled up in his clothes sobbing and starting to hyperventilate Matty walked over and started rubbing circles into Macs back she did that for a few minutes before asking,
"Mac do you want to talk about what you said out there."
Mac shook his head before curling further into himself, still sobbing.
"Mac why did you not tell anyone," Matty asked gently while still rubbing his back.
"I was not sure how you would react." Mac choked out before he started crying again.
"Hey, it's okay Mac." Matty comforted.
"Please do not tell anyone, four people knowing is enough, and I only told you and Sam because there was no getting out of it and you can tell when I am lying," Mac begged.
"Hey, we won't tell anyone although Russ might know from when you got drunk and went to his house, he respects your privacy enough to not say anything about it," Matty assured him.
Matty was confused about who else knew, so she softly asked, "Hey Mac who else knows?"
"Frankie and Leanna." Mac told her.
"Leanna?" Matty questioned.
"It is complicated, we knew each other when we were kids, we will tell everybody soon." Mac said.
As Matty was rubbing Macs back she noticed how she could feel all the bones in his back.
"Mac when was the last time you ate?" Matty asked her voice laced with concern from noticing how bony his back was.
"Uhm I think breakfast yesterday maybe, or the day before that," Mac said uncertainly.
"Mac," Matty said, "You need to eat"
"Sorry," Mac mumbled still curled up.
"Okay, blondie how about why do you keep thinking we are going to leave," Matty asked concerned she knew that Mac compartmentalized well, a little too well, and while she was excepting him to crack, she had not been excepting a full breakdown, even if something told her they were just scratching the surface of his insecurities, and self-worth issues.
After a while of ignoring her Mac started to get off his bed and go over to his computer where it looked like he was using some sort of Design program.
"We will continue this conversation later, but what you are working on?" Matty questioned.
"Something that should remove greenhouse gasses from the atmosphere and convert them to oxygen, in theory." Mac responded automatically, "Actually Matty in two weeks Frankie cleared the space I need to test it and she needs my help so I was wondering if I could take two to three weeks off starting next week to go to MIT leaving on the first day of the new year."
"Of course, Mac I cannot even remember ever giving you time off except for injury, but Cage goes with you okay," Matty said.
"Thanks, Matty, also do not tell anyone because most of the information I used came from file 47 except it won't kill billions of people." Mac pleaded.
Matty suspected that was not the actual reason but still said, "Sure where are you keeping this."
"At phoenix locked up in the office I never use, but you insisted I have," Mac said with an eye roll.
Suddenly Cage peaked in and upon seeing Mac up and about smiled while saying, "Hey I have some food if you guys want any."
"Go on blondie," Matty said as she gestured for him to go out the door, then continued by saying, "Well I got to go work calls I might come back later don't count on it.
Matty felt slightly relieved when she was leaving Mac did not seem like he was going to hurt himself any time soon Cage had bought some actual groceries although the fact that genius boy was the Phoenix, knew Leanna, and thought of himself in such a way was surprising, concerning, and other things all tied in one
Mac and Sam
As soon as Matty left Mac let his smile drop and sunk into the couch she grabbed a sandwich and handed it to him while taking one for herself and sat down next to him looking him up and down as he ate his sand which once, she finished hers she turned back to him and asked, "You have not slept good in a few weeks, have you."
"Yeah," Mac said as he sunk further back into the couch.
"Nightmares?" Sam questioned.
Mac nodded his head and Sam could see the tears tracing their way down his face.
Sam carefully wrapped her arms around him alarmed by the fact that she could clearly feel his ribs, she wrapped him in a tight hug not caring that, her shirt was getting soaked they stayed like that until Mac fell asleep on her on the couch eventually, she fell asleep also.
For the second night in a row, she could hear quiet sobbing coming from somewhere she sat up alarmed and went to look for Mac she found him curled up in his bed sobbing, she quietly asked, "Want to talk about its Mac."
"Not really," Mac said as he started to get a full-blown panic attack
"Well, I am here and will be here until you're ready to talk," Sam said.
"That's what they all said," Mac grumbled under his breath.
"Oh," Sam said confused.
"They all said they loved me they meant it in different ways then they left and expected to be like it never happened that they never left I can't trust them anymore," Mac said sadly while laying curled up facing the wall.
Realizing that Mac had been pried at enough for the day she left him alone and headed to her bedroom.
Three days later on the phoenix jet.
"So, you are telling me you got the intel, but you somehow flooded a hotel then you burnt it," Matty said through the computer shaking her head at them. "What were you trying to do MacGyver it."
"Maybe. How is Mac by the way." Bozer asked.
"He actually asked Matty for vacation time believe it or not," Russ said laughing at the shocked expressions on their faces.
"He what." Riley managed to Squeak out.
"Asked for vacation time multiple weeks, to work on some project with Frankie, at MIT. Cage is going to go with him they leave in a couple of days." Matty said.
"Are you sure he is okay because he never asks for vacation time," Bozer added.
"Yes, I am sure he is fine also did any of you know he went to Australia for a month with Cage spent two weeks back home before two weeks with Frankie?" Matty asked.
"No." Bozer said while shaking his head, "he stopped calling me oh gods, what did I do, I messed up I told him to never get in touch with me again that I wanted to leave that part of my behind after he called me for the third time that week then I blocked his number, and I was wondering why he came and got me instead of called me."
"I did something similar not to that extent I just was busy and didn't have time to call him anymore," Riley said looking extremely guilty.
Desi suddenly turned very pale and said, "oh gods when I broke up with him, I told him to go live the rest of your life alone because no one will ever love you, before walking out of his house with all my stuff."
Everyone looked at her in shock not sure what to say.
"I knew," Leanna said.
"What." Everyone including Matty said while looking at her.
"We wrote letters back and forth, so I know every little detail also I know all about his problems with each of you oh let us start with Desi. Okay Desi you wanted him to get a job right but, think about it he has a hell of a brain, but he did not finish college so that canceled out a lot of options, he was a former EoD but with all the red tape he could not get any job to do with that he got so stressed out trying to make you happy he almost joined the army again he did not, but he was getting close. That is enough to start but I kind of became a therapist in a way. Get the point guys he tried to please you, but did anyone ever ask what he wanted no one ever did. Guys think about what you did you left a guy with abandonment issues alone, honestly I think we're pretty lucky he is alive." Leanna finished everyone looked deep in thought.
"Guys you can text him, but warning he is working on some sort of project, but tomorrow is Christmas eve so you can talk to him then." Matty said, "See you soon."