Vegeta couldn't sleep. He had very nearly destroyed his training room. He'd shouted at the boy when he checked in.

And his wife wanted to fuck other people.

Vegeta went over their argument like a sparring match. Her facial expressions, her body language, the way she tapped her nails on her beer bottle. The things she said.

They had a conversation years ago, when she was pregnant with Trunks. She said that she loved him. He hadn't responded in kind, and then after some fighting, she accused him of not knowing what love was. He denied her accusation for years, but never reciprocated when she uttered those 3 words.

Then, years later, when boy was in diapers. Kakarot had died and Vegeta mourned. He retired from defending the world, focused on his wife and kids and maintaining his body through training, but swore off fighting.

They had another conversation, when Vegeta was feeling particularly vulnerable after fucking his beautiful wife.

"You say I don't know what love is." He murmured, looking down at the woman in his arms, "And I'm beginning to wonder if you're right."

Surprised, Bulma sat up and turned to face him properly. "What do you feel about me?" She asked him, hugging her knees to her chest. She was red faced, her perm growing out into relaxed curls, messed up from their 'love making'. She was so beautiful.

"I admire your beauty." Vegeta started, stroking her thigh with his thumb, "I admire your fiery passion. I am proud of the son you and I created, even if all he seems to do is shit and whine."

Bulma nudged him with a perfectly pedicured foot. "What else?" She asked, batting her eyelids.

A blank look graced his face. "What do you mean 'what else'?"

She stared at him. She obviously needed to try a different approach. "Okay, I mean... Love, to me, feels like this great satisfaction. Like I've been given a reward for a good job, or being full after a Christmas dinner!"

"Like... Winning?" Vegeta tried, squinting at her as he tried to get on her level.

"Yes!" Bulma lit up, "Do you feel like you've won an amazing battle?"

He shook his head. No. Not at all. He didn't feel satisfaction either. He felt contentment, but it was a very mild emotion compared to kicking Kakarot's ass.

She tilted her head to the side."...not even when we first fucked?"

"It was hardly a challenge." He scoffed, and Bulma pinched his arm.

"Ugh! You're such a jerk!" Bulma pushed away from him, standing up and getting off the bed.

While she used the en suite bathroom, he thought about it some more. She came back, dressed again, but he pulled her onto the bed, holding her close.

"I don't want to lie to you." He said, and she nodded against his chest slowly.

"I know." She murmured, "It's one of the reasons why I love you."

He let her go and she turned around in his lap, "When I'm with you, I feel like I'm flying." She said, running her hands over his chest muscles.

Vegeta's nose crinkled. Flying was annoying. All the wind in his face... And it got cold too.

At his lack of response, Bulma rolled her eyes and kissed his cheek, getting off him. "One day, you'll understand." She said, mostly to reassure herself.

He still didn't understand human women, even after over a decade of marriage. But he knew that he didn't want her to have another mate. She was his, dammit!

And she even made a quip about him fucking Kakarot! As if he would ever do that? Saiyan men mated for life. The thought... No, he didn't even wanna go there. The gods damned audacity-

"Hey Vegeta!"

Vegeta roared, rearing up to swing at the person suddenly behind him. Speak of the devil and he shall appear...

"Dammit, Kakarot! A little warning!" He growled, turning to stomp over to the training room's console, turning the gravity back to normal. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Bulma wants to borrow my phone so she can update the maps or something." Goku said with a shrug, but blanched when Vegeta practically launched himself at him.

"Borrow your phone, huh? I fucking bet that's some bullshit excuse so she can lure you in and get her to fuck you! You gonna fuck my wife, Kakarot? ARE YOU GONNA FUCK MY WIFE?" He screamed in Goku's face, grabbing the front of his gi.

"Vegeta! That's enough!"

Bulma was standing in the doorway, looking completely horrified. Goku was gaping incredulously. Vegeta was... slowly beginning to realise he might be overreacting.

Bulma entered the training pod, trying to keep a straight face, "I'm so sorry, Son-kun, you'll have to excuse me for a moment. I need to calm down my hysterical husband. Could you possibly teleport to the lab?"

"Uh." Goku's eyes were stuck on Vegeta, like he'd just grown a second head, and then he nodded, "Sure. Bye, uh, Vegeta."

Vegeta grunted, red in the face. As soon as Goku instant transmissioned away, Bulma launched into him.

"How dare you?" She shrieked, "Taking it out on Goku like that! You should be ashamed!"

He did feel incredibly awkward and embarrassed even, but not too ashamed. He stayed silent.

Bulma pursed her lips and folded her arms, moodily turning away from him. "I was going to talk to you tonight, but now I think you should spend another night in the spare room." She said, not waiting for his response as she exited down the ramp in a huff.

Vegeta let out a growl and punched the console. Fuck! How could he be so fucking stupid? He was going to lose her.

Meanwhile, Goku nervously waited for Bulma in her lab, confused as to what the heck had happened. Vegeta accusing him of... Doing that... To Bulma? Had she cheated on him with a mystery person? This was all super distressing.

"Oh my god, Goku, I'm so sorry." Bulma's voice reached him before she did, and she put his hand on his bicep. He flinched, and Bulma paused.

"Um... Sorry. What's up with him?" He asked, letting out a worried laugh, scratching his hair, "I mean, he doesn't really think... Y'know?"

Bulma exhaled and shook her head. "Goku, can I talk to you about some stuff? You're my best friend, and I just need someones opinion."

After Goku nodded, she offered him a seat. He took it, straddling the sides and leaning on the back part of the chair. She took out a weird box contraption and sucked on it, exhaling some steam. It smelt like strawberry.

"Okay, so... You know how you love to eat, right?" Bulma asked as she started to pace and chain vape.

"Oh, yeah, I love food." Goku confirmed, nodding happily.

"What if you had rice all your life-"

"I mean, yeah, I have."

"Sure, but, bear with me. What if there were lots of other types of food and you weren't allowed to eat them?" Bulma said, gesturing wildly as she paced.

Goku frowned, thinking about it. "It would be bad! Other food tastes good!"

"Exactly!" Bulma explained, "Other food is good. And you need other food for variety because rice is basically just carbs, and you need protein and fats."

Goku nodded, "Uh-huh... And where does uh, fucking come into it?"

Bulma paused. Whatever. "I want to sleep with other people outside of my marriage." She said plainly, putting her hand on her hip.

Goku seemed to mull that over. "Ohh." He said eventually, "Okay! I've had a conversation with Chi-Chi that was pretty similar to this."

"Really?" Bulma's eyes widened with interest and she sat down on her desk.

"Okay, so before Gohan was born, I was still tryna understand marriage and, y'know, sex. And she was tryna get me to understand that when yer married, you can only do sex with one person. And I always thought that sounded boring, because, like you said, different dishes." Goku spun the chair around slowly as he talked, "I told her 'maybe I don't wanna be married, because I wanna do the sex with other people too' and then she started cryin' and it was awkward and her dad had to talk to me about how it wasn't okay and that it was kinda breaking the marriage promise by doing it."

Bulma covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. That was equal parts tragic and hilarious. But also... Interesting to know. "So, uh... Do you still crave... Other dishes?" Bulma asked, feeling a little hot under the collar. Not that she would ever fuck Son-kun...

"I mean... Yeah. I'll see a nice 'dish' on the street. Or I'll fight a nice 'dish'..." He seemed to smile a bit at that, but he seemed to shake it off, "But I'm good at practising self restraint!" He added, looking a little proud of that.

Bulma couldn't help but laugh outright. Goku looked confused at first but then cottoned on.

"Uh... Is everything okay with you and Vegeta?" Goku asked, concerned. He didn't want his two best friends to break up. What if it changed the timeline?

Bulma quietened down and shook her head, "You know how Vegeta is... I just..." Gods, where did she even start? And how much did she want Goku to know?

"A few years ago, I went to a party with my parents. It was super fancy, with people dressed in different masks. Nobody knew who anyone was. I was introduced to this couple, and they seemed to love each other a lot. Super affectionate, all that stuff...

"But a couple of hours later, I saw the husband off with someone else, and same with the wife! They were both cheating on each other!" Bulma revealed, and Goku's eyebrows shot up towards his hairline.

At Goku's reaction, Bulma continued, "Right? So a couple of weeks later, I asked my mom if they were still together, and she said 'oh, don't mind them, they're swingers'." She said in a perfect imitation of her mother, "And it's kind of stuck with me ever since."

Goku seemed completely shocked by this. "So... They both knowingly did sex with other people?" He asked just to clarify.

"Yep, talked about it and everything." Bulma said, taking another hit off her vape.

"Wow." Goku blinked rapidly and let it sink in. "Wait, is that what you want with Vegeta?"

Bulma nodded once. At least he got it.

Goku tapped his chin, thinking, "But Vegeta once told me that Saiyan's mate for life." He pondered aloud, and when Bulma looked a bit guilty, he understood.

"I don't wanna leave him. There's so much he does that I couldn't do without. And I love him so much, even if he 'doesnt feel human emotions like romantic love'," she said, doing the air quotes.

"That's crap." Goku said with a snort.

"What?"

"That Saiyan's can't feel romantic love. I'm a Saiyan and I love my wife." Goku said confidently, puffing his chest out.

Huh. This was true. "If Chi-Chi let you fuck other people, would you?" Bulma said, leaning in, looking at him all conspiratorial.

Goku looked a bit embarrassed at that question, "Well, duh," he said, with that nervous giggle again.

For some reason, probably related, Bulma's cunt twitched involuntarily. Maybe it was the thought of Goku fucking other people, but she wasn't expected to get all horny about this. This was just two friends talking.

Daring to continue, Bulma licked her lips. This was just for curiosity's sake, and it wasn't like she was gonna tell Chi-Chi. Or anyone for that matter.

"Who would you fuck?" She said, peering at him through her eyelashes.

He instantly tensed up, and before he could make an excuse or give an honest answer, both of their sons burst into the room.

"Hey!" Goku greeted his son, his voice a bit squeakier than it should have been, "What are you guys up to?"

"We dug up bugs!" They cried in unison, climbing all over Goku with their grubby fingers.

"I found a worm! I made Goten put it under his nose and wear it like a mustache!"

"A worm-stache!"

"Oh, is that so?" He said, looking over to Bulma, who was suddenly busy with his phone. The moment was over.

"Hey, can Trunks stay over?" Goten asked from his left bicep.

Bulma thought on it. It might be a good idea, since she and Vegeta were due for a conversation. God, she was so ready to pounce on Goku. He was a married man! And her best friend!

"Yeah, sure. Whad'y'think?" Goku smiled over at her, all innocence. She felt bad.

"Fine with me." She replied warmly, and the boys cheered. Putting the phone down and patting her son's hair, she looked to Goku. "Son-kun, I'll give you your phone back tomorrow. Did you need a spare?"

"Naw, I don't need it." Goku said, trying to get towards the door with two stronger than average children clinging to him, "I'll see ya tomorrow! Hopefully you an' Vegeta... Talk?"

"Talk about what?" Trunks asked, sounding worried, "Are you okay? Are you gonna divorce?"

"No! Don't even joke about that!" Bulma waved it off, feeling a bit weird in the chest. They might be heading in that direction if they didn't sort this out.

"Okay mom, love you!"

"Ew, gross! You love your mom!"

"No, dude, you love your mom."

Goku offered a helpless grin and teleported away, leaving Bulma alone in her office.

Ugh. She really had to talk to her husband