In loving memory of my Grandma, and of everyone else we've lost during this pandemic...
Part II.
"Are you sure about this?" She asked him.
They were standing on the Vulcan terminal, in the outskirts of ShiKahr, just a few feet from the cruiser that got them there from Earth. She wasn't even dressed for the planet, in skinny-jeans and a low-cut top, long hair cascading down her back. But that was okay, she wasn't staying. In fact, the moment he stepped out of the terminal she would be getting back on the cruiser and returning to Earth. Most would think it absolutely insane, that she was willing to spend a little over a week total in a cruiser, just to accompany him home. Then again, she had his reasons, he knew that well, knew it even before she asked the very important question.
"Absolute certainty about anything is an impossibility." He answered.
The woman arched a brow and he said nothing. He knew he was being evasive. Because the truth was; the truth he didn't want to voice, because doing so would be making it true, and Vulcans did not lie, but they were exceptionally good at avoiding things they did not want to think about (even, especially, things that were of paramount importance):
"This is where I must be." He said eventually.
"That still doesn't answer the question." It was clear then that she wouldn't allow him to avoid the real question.
"Nyota…" He started.
"No Spock, look, I know… I know you need him, okay." She cut him off. "Whether it's just the biological imperative… don't look at me like that, I'm not going to say the words, though I do think it's absolutely stupid that you all as a race keep being so evasive even when it already almost cost you your life once!" She shook her head. "But that's not the point. Whether you keep telling yourself that it's just that your biology makes you need him, or that you truly want him, that the two of you need each other… that's between the two of you. What I want to know is, are you really going to give up everything, all you've studied, fought and bled for? Your whole life?"
"The needs of the many…"
"Don't give me that bullshit Spock! This isn't a matter of the 'needs of the many'…"
"He has a duty to his people, to the Lady meQpu'yay. Under such circumstances it's only logical that I seek an appropriate compromise…"
"This isn't compromise, this is giving up."
"Nyota…"
"Don't! Just… don't say anything." She sighed. "I'm gonna miss you…"
He said nothing else, not even to return the sentiment, didn't see how it changed anything, though he did believe (hoped) that she'd know already. Nyota was someone very dear to him, they were compatible in many ways, even if not in the one he needed most. He cared for her, there was a time when he believed that the two of them might have a future together… and then Spock met him, the blonde, blue-eyed illogical man, a human who fought side by side with klingons, who called a romulan girl his sister, who did insane things and called them 'logical', who touched Spock, just once… and that was enough to shatter his world…
xXx
S'chn T'gai Spock chaSarek had been many things in his life. One of a very small number of Vulcan/Human hybrids in existence, and the very first to be carried by the human half of the pairing. His father was the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth: Sarek chaSkon, grandson of the Elder of Elders, the Lady T'Pau, and as such part of the honorable House Surak; and Amanda Grayson, Dr. in Linguistics and Xenolinguistics, former educator and part of the team that created the Universal Translator.
Growing up Spock tried so hard to be all Vulcan, believing that it was what they wanted. After all, even his mother was more Vulcan than human most of the time. She endured all the terrible things those around them said of her, the way they looked down on her. Spock never had any doubt that she loved, loved his father, loved him… though for the longest time he didn't realize how much his father loved her, loved them both as well. It wasn't the Vulcan way, to show emotion, that was something so ingrained in him, that at times even Spock forgot that being able to feel wasn't something he got from his mother; Vulcans felt too, much more strongly than humans even. They were just better at exercising control over those emotions.
"Marrying your mother was logical."
His father said that once, and for the longest time Spock believed that it meant he didn't love her. Not truly. It was a belief that only seemed to be strengthened by his own betrothal to T'Pring. She was supposed to be chosen for him because they were mentally compatible, and yet the coldness, the contempt, the utter disgust that he perceived with the barest touch on her mind. The mere thought of being connected to that mind, to her, for the rest of his life… there was a reason why Spock didn't fight it when T'Pring expressed a desire to break the betrothal with him and choose another. He knew from the start that saying that his choice to join Starfleet was the reason was just an excuse; even if she might be unable to read him through their bond, he could still read her, he knew about her 'affair' with Stonn. Knew and didn't care.
Starfleet… there was a part of Spock, the part that was fully (almost painfully) aware of the fact that, in the end, he was neither truly vulcan, nor fully human, that always liked Starfleet. It was an idealized notion, he was aware, though it didn't change his perspective. Starfleet was about the Federation, about the working together of all those planets, all those species; and while it was true that a good number were humans, that did not mean other species were not involved. Spock was aware that there were few vulcans in Starfleet, and that the reason was not a rejection on Starfleet's part, but the vulcans' belief that their own organizations were better, that they knew better, always. For a race that preached about 'Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations' they certainly did not live up to those teachings. In any case, there was a part of Spock that, from the first time he heard about Starfleet, couldn't help but wonder if there, were all were supposed to be welcome, he might finally find his place…
He never said anything about it. Knew that such dreams were nothing more than expressions of human sentiment, and he was meant to be living life as a vulcan. It was the path he himself had chosen (and who ever thought it wise to make a four-year-old voice choose the path their life was to take and then believe that the child would truly understand the consequences of that choice?). So he did his best to be as Vulcan as he could be. He ignored his yearmates until their taunts made him explode and he broke one's nose; ignored them and the instructors until one of them went too far and a lab caught fire. It was deemed an accident, no one died and even the injuries were minimum; but Spock knew the truth, and he was sure his mother at least did too. She looked at him sadly (though not disappointed), yet said nothing; Spock knew she was the only one who'd never judge him.
"As always, whatever you choose to be, you will have a proud mother."
He applied to the Vulcan Science Academy, as was expected of him. Spock was at the very top of all his classes (and didn't that irk those who kept trying to see him as less, as not Vulcan enough, when he consistently prove to be better than all his yearmates? Well, except for how they'd insist that there was no anger, because that was a feeling and they did not feel…). One of the first things Spock did for himself though, by his own choice, was apply to Starfleet as well. Even though he knew it was unlikely he'd be attending, a part of him just wanted… wanted something different, something more… So he went into the website, watched all the videos, filled all the forms, took all the online tests. And then he waited… He heard back from Starfleet first, a simple e-mail letting him know he'd passed and they'd be honored to have him, as well as requesting that he reply by a specific date on whether he'd be attending or not. The person writing to him: a Captain Christopher Pike, made it obvious that he knew he must be considering his options and would await to hear his final decision. He did express all the positives of Starfleet, all the things Spock could look forward to, but accepted that the final decision was Spock's own. He was the first person to express such a belief… On Vulcan everyone acted like applying to the VSA was obligatory, and like it was all up to them, they would choose whether to have him or not, it wasn't Spock's choice, had never been…
"You have surpassed the expectations of your instructors. Your final record is flawless. With one exception, I see that you have applied to Starfleet as well." One of the Elders of the board that judged applicants for the VSA declared.
"It was logical to cultivate multiple options." Spock replied serenely.
"Logical but unnecessary." The same Elder replied. "You're hereby accepted to the Vulcan Science Academy. It is truly remarkable, Spock, that you have achieved so much, despite your disadvantage. All rise!"
Spock couldn't help himself, he just couldn't. He knew it wasn't going to help, that it would just ruin everything, but he was so tired of it all! Tired of all who saw his mother as anything other than the brilliant, beautiful, strong and wonderful person she was, tired of his father saying nothing about it, tired of him always being looked down upon just because he chose to defend the honor of the woman who gave birth to him, who loved him so dearly…
"If you would clarify, Minister." Spock asked, in a perfectly even tone, eyes hard. "To what disadvantage are you referring?"
"Your Human mother." The Elder answered promptly.
The choice was made in a split second. And just like that, all his repressed anger abruptly vanished, replaced by an odd, almost surreal calm.
"Council, Ministers, I must decline." Spock announced calmly.
"No Vulcan has ever declined admission to this academy." The Elder stated, in a tone that it was obvious he was barely capable of repressing his annoyance.
"Then, as I am half-human, your record remains untarnished." Spock couldn't help but want to remind them of the reality, the truth that they all seemed to conveniently ignore or use as a weapon against him depending on how it suited their purposes.
"Spock." Sarek spoke up. "You have made a commitment to honor the Vulcan way."
Spock saw no point in replying, his father had never seemed interested in speaking up, not in defense of his son, or that of his wife, so what was the point?
"Why did you come before this council today? Was it to satisfy your emotional need to rebel?" The Elder demanded.
"The only emotion I wish to convey is gratitude." He remained polite through it all, as his mother taught him. "Thank you, Ministers, for your consideration. Live long and prosper."
And if he meant something else entirely there at the end, that was no one's business but his own.
His emotional need to rebel… that little phrase made it all-so-obvious that none of them, not even his father, ever understood him, at all.
In the end Starfleet proved not to be at all what he might have hoped for (even though hope is something he, as Vulcan, wasn't supposed to feel…). In Vulcan he was considered 'too-human' to ever fit in; on Earth it was the opposite, his pointed ears, the green tint to his skin, his eyebrows, these were all things that clearly signaled him as something other than human, it kept him from truly fitting in.
Christopher Pike was a good man. He and his second in command, an illyrian woman of whom only his surname was known (Robbins) and was usually referred to as Number One, were the first friends Spock made on Earth. Almost like older siblings (certainly better than Sybok had ever been). Number One was especially dear to him, because thanks to her he managed to understand something about his own parents he never had before:
"We illyrians do feel, you know?" She told him once. "Long ago we taught ourselves to hide any expression of those feelings, because they were a show of vulnerability, and being vulnerable was dangerous when our lives depended on another species. It's something that stayed with us, even when we as a people became free. Many people look at me and think me unfeeling, but I do feel, as much as any humans do. It's just that while it might be human instinct to externalize those feelings, at least in most cases; for us illyrians the instinct is to conceal them. We only truly express ourselves before those we trust most. To us illyrians, showing the truth of our feelings is our greatest show of trust, and of love, and something we only do before our True Mates…"
That speech made Spock think, but more than that, it made him wonder. Vulcans and illyrians weren't the same, of course not. But vulcans felt, just like both illyrians and humans did (more keenly, even), and just like illyrians, it was a part of them not to express those feelings, to the point where other species might believe them unfeeling. Number One had said that illyrians only ever showed the truth of their feelings to their True Mates… could that be the case for Vulcans as well? And if so… then perhaps Spock's hypothesis regarding his parents had been erroneous all along. He knew that his mother loved his father, but long had he believed that he did not love her in return, or at least, not in the same manner she did him. And yet, he himself knew how brilliant, and clever and so many other wonderful things his mother was, and all she must have given up to marry his father, would she really have done it if she did not love him? Would she truly be willing to endure all the derisiveness, the dismissive attitudes, all the insults, if she didn't have his love to take refuge in? (as much as Spock himself took refuge in hers for him when he was a child, and even later on). It was then that Spock realized that he might not know his parents as well as he thought he did. And there was nothing wrong with that. Because there was still time for him to make things right. Time for him to get to truly know his father, understand him, and make sure he'd know and understand him in return…
Following Number One's speech and his own realizations Spock began making more of an effort to get back in touch with his father. While he'd never stopped communicating with his mother, his father was another matter. He even made a point to return to Vulcan during the break. It was then that he and Sarek had a very serious conversation, as adults. A conversation where Sarek revealed that he was, in fact, aware of the kind of things some individuals said about his wife and son, and he hadn't been ignoring the situation. He just hadn't made a spectacle of things when he confronted those individuals. He also knew about the little experiment Spock had 'forgotten' to secure before stepping out of the lab for a few minutes, and which caused a slight fire that didn't kill anyone but burnt off half the hair on an instructor's head, the very same who'd been saying nasty things about Amanda for months. Sarek ensured that no one would even think about taking reprisals against Spock. It was also during that particular conversation that his father said something Spock would remember for the rest of his life, making it into the cornerstone of who the older Vulcan truly was:
"You asked me once why I married your mother. I told you I married her because it was logical. And it was. It was logical that I married she who I love…"
Amanda smiled brightly as Sarek said that, and neither of them bothered to hide it as their fingers touched in a vulcan kiss. Spock could see that his father's expression never changed, he didn't so much as smile and yet… he loved his mom, there was no doubt about that.
Upon his graduation from Starfleet Academy Spock joined the crew of the Yorktown, serving under Christopher and Number One, who by then had become dear friends. He served as Lieutenant and one of the science officers. They went on a number of short missions for a little over a year, until a particular mission and a mutinous cadet caused a disaster that ended with the Yorktown being lost completely. It was only thanks to Spock's quick-thinking and Christopher's and Number One's leadership and ability to be calm even during the worst kind of situations that they managed to all make it out alive (even the man who'd end up being disgracefully discharged and sent to a penal colony for the rest of his life).
After that Spock was given an option, he could take one of the many offers coming his way, and join another ship, or he could wait for Christopher. He'd been told by Admiral Archer that the ship under construction in the shipyard in Riverside, Iowa, the next Enterprise, was to be his. And Christopher was very interested in newly-promoted Lieutenant Commander Spock joining him as his Science Officer. Spock accepted Christopher's offer, choosing, like him, to serve as Instructor in the Academy in the meantime. It was a relatively easy transition, in all ways except for one: as Christopher began treating him differently all of a sudden, and for the longest time Spock did not understand why. It was One who explained it to him.
"He really cares about you, you know?" She told him, once it was just the two of them on the balcony of Christopher Pike's apartment.
"I can see that, though I fail to understand the reasoning behind such regard, I have never given Christopher a reason to act the way he does." Spock stated.
"You haven't." Number One agreed. "It's not… about you, exactly, not entirely." She paused, seemingly pondering on the best way to explain things. "We knew this kid once… He'd been through absolute hell, and managed to survive, and not only that, he saved others. Even though it cost him, so much, even though he was so young, he took on his shoulders a huge responsibility when the adults failed him, failed them all. And he carried it through. They called him JT. He was… an extraordinary young man. I was the one to find him, him and the other children when we arrived to Ta…" she broke off and shook her head. "We did our best to help them all, but him… the boy was special, and we both knew it. When we came back to Earth, family came to pick up the survivors of that mess, all but him. He had no one… Chris wanted so much to keep him but… we don't actually know what happened. One day he was in Starfleet guest-quarters, undergoing therapy, and the next he was gone. We didn't see him again until three years later. The brat had apparently been touring the world, on his own!"
"I presume he was young." Spock murmured.
He was smart, very smart in fact. It wasn't hard for him to guess at at least some of the things Number One wasn't saying. The main being the planet where they'd 'found' those children. Where a 'mess' had taken place and the adults failed them: Tarsus IV.
"Fifteen years old when we first found him in the planet of the damned." Number One shrugged. "Eighteen when we came across him once again. Chris invited him to dinner, he agreed, we chatted. He was gone in the morning."
Spock said nothing, waiting for the rest of the story. Except there was nothing.
"That was the last time we saw him." The illyrian finally said. "He got on a cruiser to Themys… the vessel never made it to its destination. Apparently they were attacked by pirates, and while some freelance ship saved them a few days later, Ja… JT wasn't among those rescued. We just found out he's been declared dead."
"I grieve with thee." Spock told her formally.
"Thank you." She bowed her head. "I just… the reason I'm telling you this is so you can understand why Chris acts the way he does."
"He blames himself for the death of JT."
"He does."
"No fault lies with him."
"I know that, and I think, in some corner deep in his mind, he knows that too. But humans, and even illyrians, are not the most logical beings, not when it concerns the loss of someone, especially someone so young, and who had his whole life ahead of him still. 'What ifs' are a terrible thing to contemplate Mr. Spock. Chris believes that if he'd tried harder to stay in JT's life, that if the kid had known that someone cared about him, he might not have gotten killed."
"If pirates were involved I fail to comprehend how being aware of another's regard would have influenced in any way the outcome of a situation in which neither Captain Pike nor yourself were involved in the first place."
"I told you it wasn't logical Mr. Spock. It still is how he feels." She shook her head. "I don't want you to believe that Chris doesn't care about you for yourself, he does. However, it's because of what happened with JT that he tries so hard. I just don't want you to feel like you owe him something, and to be understanding even if he might be a bit overbearing at times."
"It is my understanding that humans with parental inclinations tend to behave in this manner when they meet someone that reminds them of their own child." Spock nodded.
"Yes, that's exactly it Mr. Spock. I'm glad we understand one another."
Through his classes in the Academy Spock met Nyota Uhura. She was a very promising cadet in the Communications track, with whom he discovered a certain compatibility. She made no secret of her interest in him, though after giving it some thought they decide to wait until after her graduation to pursue a relationship, not wanting there to be even a whisper of inappropriate conduct. Spock knew she had high aspirations, wanted to become Chief Communications Officer of a ship before thirty. It was one of the things he appreciated about her, that she respected his sense of duty, because she shared it.
And then came the call that changed everything…
It was supposed to be a distress call from Vulcan. That was what their systems were telling them. Starfleet was forced to activate the cadets and send out the six newest starships, including the Enterprise, which hadn't even had its maiden voyage just yet. Perhaps the only benefit was that due to it being an emergency no one could fight when Number One followed Christopher onto the Enterprise. They'd been dealing with legal issues for months, since their romantic relationship was revealed, the Admiralty had tried to separate them, citing regulations, but then the two had eloped (Spock was invited to be one of the required witnesses, and it was Admiral Archer himself who married them); then the two had begun seeking tandem assignments. Spock had even agreed to serve as a sort-of 'supervisor' for a trial period so the Admiralty could be assured that both Captain and First Officer would continue to serve diligently and without bias (Spock thought them all to be illogical, believing either Christopher or Number One capable of behaving in any other way, but he knew well by then how illogical some beings could be, especially when they were not getting what they wanted).
They were halfway to Vulcan when a new message came, this time from Lt. Cmdr. Scott, on Delta Vega. According to him a renegade romulan who until recently had been imprisoned in the Klingon's prison planet had been broken out and he was behind the attack to Vulcan, on the same ship that had caused the loss of the USS Kelvin, twenty-five years prior… There was a team of freelance individuals of various races who were doing their best to stop the ship, the Narada, and its captain: Nero, but it was Lt. Cmdr. Scott's opinion that they needed all the help they could get.
And so the Enterprise, the Farragut, the Pendragon, the Alexandria, the Hood and the Antares came out of warp almost in tandem, and dropped into the most bizarre space-fight ever.
The Romulan ship was huge, bigger than all the Starfleet Constitution-class starships together even. The ships going against it, by contrast, were extremely small. Three of them, of a gray so dark it was almost black, didn't look like they could hold more than one person at any given time, and yet their weapons were clearly very advanced, more than most would have believed possible. It was quite clear those ships, while small, were made for war. The other two were bigger, less stream-lined, but it was clear that whoever piloted them had great skill, and no few weapons as well. And then one of the small ships blew, and that was all the sign Starfleet needed that it was time to get involved.
The Antares took some damage when the ship took a hit meant for one of the small ships, which wouldn't have been able to take the hit (it still had to make an emergency landing on Vulcan by the end of the battle), and the Farragut was lost when one particular shot hit them in such a way that it caused complete system's failure. It was only thanks to the other ships taking on the Narada that everyone in the Farragut could evacuate without being destroyed.
The fight only ended when one of the medium-sized ships flew into the Narada, somehow kick-starting a reaction that soon had the whole ships collapsing upon itself for some unknown reason. The reaction from those in the Starfleet starships, those who could actually see what had happened, was immediate, and predictable; none of the missing the similarity of that moment to what must have happened with the USS Kelvin, many years earlier. And then came the revelation that shocked everyone, when they learned that the captain of that ship was alive, having managed to transport himself to Mount Seleya, in Vulcan, in the last possible moment.
Authorization was given for the rest of the freelancers to land, while Starfleet sent representatives to meet them, and with the Vulcans, to discuss what had happened. Christopher requested that Spock go in their stead as he and Number One, being the senior commanding team from those present would be the one to get in contact with Fleet Admiral Archer back on Earth, while the Captain and First Officer of the Antares handled the conference with those stationed in the Laurentian System.
Spock beamed down to Vulcan, near the foot of Mount Seleya, where the remaining freelance ships had landed. He was also aware that a bigger ship (though still much smaller in comparison to Starfleet's Constitution-class starships) had made orbit, and the ones on board were beaming down to see to their companions. All had been authorized by the Vulcan Elders, so Spock did not see how there could be any problem with it, until he arrived to find a handful of young adult Vulcans muttering imprecations against the freelancers. Spock intended to comment on how their attitude was disrespectful and illogical and dishonored their Houses; though he didn't expect it to be a particularly serious problem, as the youths at least had the sense to speak in High Vulcan, rather than Modern, or Standard. And then he was surprised when one of the freelancers, a human with tanned skin and blonde messy hair in sturdy clothes and a half-singed cowl bunched around his neck, turned to face Spock's former yearmates and called them out on their insults in perfect, unaccented Vulcan.
As fascinated as Spock was by the whole thing: the blonde male was clearly human, though he claimed a romulan female as sister (she was the one the other Vulcans had been disrespectful towards); two others, the pilots of the small ships (one male with dark hair and brown-toned skin; and a female with porcelain skin and long, straight, raven black hair in a twist high on her head) looked physically human, though there was something in their ease of motion, their stance, that told the Vulcan-hybrid that they weren't quite human. The three of them and the romulan girl were the only ones with their heads uncovered (and with the romulan it wasn't planned). The other three (two males and a female) were still wearing cowls, and while the way they moved made it obvious they were warriors (same as the others) it was impossible to tell their species with them so covered up, which Spock suspected was intentional. Taking in consideration that the humans were uncovered, and the romulan female had proven that they weren't all the same, Spock dared deduce that the other three would be different as well, either romulan, or some other species. Also, their clothing wasn't the standard of any of the peoples in the Federation Spock had come across or seen holos of in the past. It made him wonder about their origins. Such a mixed-up group wasn't exactly common. It made the Vulcan-hybrid wonder how it came to be.
Still, there was next to no time for Spock to lose in his musings. It was clear to him that the blonde human didn't want the confrontation to escalate, but he wouldn't allow them to insult his sister either. And as illogical as it might be, Spock knew how disrespectful and xenophobic some vulcans could be. So he stepped in, doing his best to defuse the situation. It did not go very well, until their Elders called the other Vulcans to attention. Spock held back his own thoughts on the matter and turned his attention to the blonde, right on time to see him lose his balance for some reason (as it was later revealed, the high temperature and low oxygen concentration in Vulcan was affecting him negatively; thankfully his sister had a hypo that helped him and she applied it just seconds later). Spock reacted automatically, he was never one to touch others unless it was someone he was close to: like Christopher, Number One, Nyota. Being a touch-telepath meant that even the briefest and most inoffensive touch could easily become more… which was exactly what happened when he took hold of the human's wrist to stop him from falling. To Spock it felt like he'd just gotten an electrical shock. The touch lasted for less than a handful of seconds, and yet Spock couldn't help but think that something (some invisible, intangible unknown) had just changed irrevocably.
T'Pau's approach pulled both males' attention away from each other and towards her. The blonde stood straight, facing the Elder of Elders as he spoke:
"T'nar pak sorat y'nari." He pronounced the formal greeting in perfect, unaccented Vulcan.
"T'nar jaral." T'Pau's decision to use the formal reply showed how much she respected the man himself, and his group in general, and how they were to be treated by everyone else.
Spock kept quiet, just watching the proceedings. He saw the way the freelancers took a loose formation, the two uncovered humans to the blonde's left, the two covered males to his right, while the last two females stood behind him; the one still covered in particular stood very close, close enough to touch, though if she did Spock could not see. And then the blonde was speaking once again, his eyes on Lady T'Pau, though his voice was loud and strong enough to be heard by everyone nearby:
"I am James yoD' Ravanok and I speak for the crew of the Ramjep…"
Klingons… it took everyone in Starfleet a very long time to comprehend that. The fact that the covered individuals among the freelancers were klingons, and not just that, but their going after Nero and his crew had been a mission from the High Chancellor of the Klingon Empire, who'd decided Nero to be a danger for everyone.
The revelations of Shield Ravanok (which, he'd explained, was the proper translation of his title and position in the Klingon Empire… though he didn't elaborate on who or what he was a shield for exactly. They did learn that another of their number: Givens, was a shield as well) and his crew were the cause of a great deal of controversy (and, according to Christopher and Number One, an endless amount of headache-inducing meetings of the highest-ranking members of Starfleet, as everyone went in circles debating how true or false Ravanok's assurances of peace, of truce and treaties, might be).
The last thing Spock ever expected was to have his Time come upon him in the middle of it all. He was completely blindsided by his Pon Farr, and it was only the great amount of trust he had in Number One and Christopher that allowed him to be sincere enough with them that they could get him to Vulcan before it was too late. Of course, that was only the first complications he was to face. It wasn't that Spock hadn't known his Pon Farr was coming, much as he might at one time hoped his hybrid biology would allow him to avoid such a thing, he'd been warned about the inevitability of it by his father's 'cousin' Selek…
Selek was… another thing entirely. Spock had to admit, even if only to himself, that meeting an alternate version of himself, one come from a future long since rendered impossible, had to be the most illogical experience of his life. He just couldn't see himself in the man, no matter how long, or how many times he looked at the Elder. There was just so much feeling in his eyes… and while Spock had long since learned that it was okay to feel, and even to express it when in the company of those he trusted, Selek was another matter entirely. Also, he kept looking at Spock with so much… pity. Like Spock had lost something huge, or like some huge tragedy had befell him, one only he was truly aware of. Spock refused to consider such an idea, his life was his own, and not a mere copy of Selek's own.
When Spock realized that his Time was imminent, and he managed to revealed that fact to those he trusted most, he was unsurprised by Nyota's offer to 'assist him'. While they might at one point have been very close, and on the edge of having their platonic relationship turn into a romantic one, that had never happened. It was as if something, some intangible unknown had changed after their mission to Vulcan, or perhaps even during it. In the end, while they'd become very dear friends, they never did cross that line. Still, because she cared for him deeply, Nyota was willing to bond with him even if only temporarily, until he found someone he wanted to bond with permanently.
The problem was not Nyota, it was Spock. As dear as she was to him, he didn't want her as a bondmate. And if she got too close, there was the risk that he might hurt her once he could no longer control himself. The last thing Spock was fully aware of before the plak tow made him lose all consciousness of self, was T'Pau mind-melding with him, and telling his parents that he had a full-bond already, which explained why he reacted violently to anyone else trying to approach him. Spock had a bondmate, and only they would do… the problem was, none of them had the slightest idea as to who that person might be.
With such a thing as his last memory just before the blood fever overtook him, Spock was more than a little surprised when he recovered awareness days later to find himself still in Vulcan's Forge, in the simple hut-like place meant for a Vulcan's first pon farr. He was there, and he wasn't alone, as he soon realized, when he found himself wrapped around another. A strong, lithe male with tanned skin, dirty blonde hair and eyes that, while they might be closed in that precise moment, Spock knew to be a bright, almost iridescent blue.
They didn't talk much that day. Spock… he didn't know what to say, what to think, how to feel, about the identity of his bondmate, the fact that he had a bondmate at all and never realized it! It wasn't him being human, Spock had long since accepted the likelihood that his bondmate, when the time came, would be human. Because while not all vulcans were like his once-intended: T'Pring, too many were just like her, or her own mate: Stonn. Too few were willing to even try to understand Spock, all the ways he was Vulcan… and all the ways he wasn't. And while humans weren't exactly perfect, there was still xenophobia and racism (as in any other species), Spock had encountered more individuals on Earth willing to accept him, not as vulcan, or human, but just as Spock. No, it was the fact that he'd only known James for a few minutes, a year prior, the man wasn't even a Federation citizen! He lived, and flew and fought side by side with klingons! … The same klingons to whom he and his whole species owed their lives… Simply put, Spock just did not know how to handle his situation, something that James seemed to realize and accept, for he did not press Spock. Just gave him his comm-number, promised to be available whenever, either to organize a visit, chat, send messages, anything at all. Surprisingly enough, the one thing they never talked about, was the possibility of them breaking their bond; and Spock could tell, even without actually talking about it, that it was one thing James would never so much as consider, unless Spock requested it. It made it even harder for the Vulcan to understand the human; for James to feel so strongly about him, when he didn't know Spock at all…
In the following months and years a series of text-messages, along with vidcalls every so often, and a handful of visits during shore-leave, when they could both get away from their duties for more than a few hours, allowed them to get to know each other. They realized how much they had in common: their love of chess, of old Terran novels, instrumental music, of history… two men who felt so deeply, yet were used to keeping such a strict control over themselves; duty compelled them, yet that didn't change the fact that they loved what they did. They each had people they cared deeply about, for whom they'd do anything… Spock also learned about T'Lura Ravanok, a Vulcan lady who'd died in Tarsus IV and James's adopted mother. The reason James knew the vulcan language and culture so well. While James learned about how hard it was for Spock, growing up, neither fully human nor entirely vulcan… how much he respected his father, how deeply he loved his mother…
And eventually it happened, the last thing Spock would have ever expected, he came to love James. Little by little, in such a way that he didn't truly realize it was happening until it already had. James had gone from being 'the human he happened to find himself bonded with' to his telsu, his ashayam, his t'hy'la… Which was what lead him to making the choice he did, the one Nyota didn't fully agree with…
Nyota was still his best friend, the closest thing he had to a sister, she had also been his First Officer for the past six years. It had begun when Admiral Marcus's attempted coup d'etat almost cost Number One her life (Christopher had been hurt, and then she while doing her best to save him, in the end she was the one who almost died), ending with her being moved to a desk-job (it was supposed to be temporary, but she made it permanent when Christopher begged her not to leave him and their kids) and Christopher promoted to Admiral. Due to that Spock himself had been promoted, to Captain of the Enterprise. Lt. Comdr. Sulu was offered the position of First Officer first, being the highest ranked of the Command Crew, but declined it, feeling that the additional duties would interfere with his personal life (as he'd recently married and he and his husband were planning on conceiving a child with help from a surrogate), so Nyota had taken the courses necessary to qualify for command and taken the post just before the Enterprise set out on its five year mission.
The mission was a success, even if near the end of it there had been a situation with an uncharted nebula near Yorktown and the long-lost USS Franklin. Things had gotten really bad, to the point where they lost the Enterprise and it was a miracle that they all survived. Also, a huge surprise when James and his crew arrived to Altamid less than 24 hours later, Spock was certain many more of the crew would have perished without their prompt arrival. The events of that mission, and the glowing comments made from everyone who'd been aided by James and his crew, had influenced the Federation into finally signing a peace treaty with the Klingon Empire.
Spock knew that, due to the treaty being official, he, the Lady Kariva and their group would be expected to be working more in Federation Space, in the hopes of making its citizens more comfortable with it before klingons officially began joining Starfleet.
Spock for his part had returned to Earth along with the rest of his crew, where they spent weeks in debriefing, and committees as the Admiralty decided if any of them should be held responsible for the loss of the Enterprise (no) for the disaster in Yorktown (once again, no), and whether the Enterprise would be rebuilt or not. After almost a full year the rebuilt had been approved, though by then Spock had already decided that even if they offered him to remain Captain, he wouldn't accept it. It might have taken him a lot of time, but he had other priorities now.
"Is this really what you want?"
Spock had told no one about his plans to resign. Even though everyone knew he wouldn't be captain of the Enterprise-A, no one would have expected him to resign entirely. Truth was Spock had managed to surprise even himself, but once the decision was made it was almost easy. He never wanted to be Captain. Deep down he was a scientist, it was what he always wanted to be. He didn't need to be in Starfleet to work in science. And then there was his t'hy'la… James… Spock was tired of only being able to meet with him every so often, a few days at a time. The week they'd spent together in Yorktown following the disaster in Altamid (while their crews recovered enough for them to depart) was the longest they had been able to spend together since Spock's pon farr. There might have been a time when Spock believed that was how it'd be between him and his bondmate, only meeting when they needed to; but that was back when he believed he'd be bonded to someone like T'Pring, someone he could barely stand, with whom a bond existed out of necessity and nothing more; with James… he loved his telsu, wanted to be with him always.
"It is what is necessary." Spock answered simply.
Christopher did not press. He better than most understood about making hard choices. Everyone knew that Christopher could have stayed on the Captain's chair for a few more years, even after making Admiral. But he chose to take the desk job, to stay on-planet (mostly because Number One would have never stayed if he hadn't, and the mess with Marcus had given them both a very needed wake-up call, the last thing either of them wanted was to leave their three children to grow up as orphans), out of love.
"You should talk to Commander Uhura." Christopher stated. "As you know, she rejected the Enterprise's Captaincy when it was offered to her."
Spock was, in fact, aware of that. She'd gone to see him to explain personally. Had stated that she finally understood why he didn't like being in command. In the end, she preferred Communications and would rather go back to being Chief Communications Officer. She'd also expressed a desire to serve under him, but that just wasn't going to be possible…
"We offered it to Commander Sulu who agreed, under the proviso that the Enterprise could be made more, shall we say, child-friendly." Christopher continued as he looked through some things on a PADD. "The Admiralty has decided to accept and the needed modifications will be made. We can expect the Enterprise-A to depart for a new five year mission early next year, with Captain Sulu and Commander Chekov in command."
Spock nodded, he believed they'd do a good job.
"You're officially on personal leave until the end of the month." Christopher announced.
Spock arched a brow, not expecting that.
"I'm not filing your resignation until you actually go and talk to your bondmate about your future, both of your futures." The human explained. "If after that conversation takes place you still believe that future lays somewhere other than Starfleet, then I'll respect that. I'll be sad to see you go, but I won't insist you stay."
Spock didn't see the logic in that, didn't see what could possible make him change his mind at this juncture, but at the same time, he liked it. Liked feeling wanted, needed, like he had options… even if he really didn't think he did. And beyond that, Christopher's actions showed him that even if he was no longer a part of Starfleet, they could stay friends, that was what mattered most.
Nyota was at his door two days later, wearing comfortable civilian clothes and with a dufflebag in hand, announcing that she was going to accompany him on the cruiser to Vulcan. He expected her to use the trip to try and convince him to stay (she was the only one, besides Christopher and Number One, who knew that while he might be officially on leave for the time being, he was truly planning to resign). She didn't, probably knowing there was no point, and yet she still made sure he knew that she was there, that she'd always be there…
"I'm gonna miss you."
Just for a moment Spock allowed himself the very human reaction of wishing for another option.
xXx
"James Tiberius Kirk"
Spock's second pon-farr lasted no less than the first, though he believed it had been less intense. Then again, that might have been because by the time he arrived to Vulcan James was already there. Sarek had even taken him to the 'Family Estate'. Theirs was an important Clan, one of the most important in fact, said to be descended of Surak, and with their matriarch being known as the Elder of Elders: Lady T'Pau. And yet, they were a relatively small clan. The Estate was empty most of the time, with T'Pau and Sarek both choosing to live in ShiKahr, in order to better fulfill their own duties. Even then, it was the best place for Spock to be during his pon farr, so that was where James was lead to. There was food and drink left there for them, and James had with him a small cooler with the hypos he'd need to ensure that Vulcan's high temperatures and low oxygen levels would not affect him.
While the first three days had been quite intense, almost as much as the first time in some ways. Both Spock and James had learned the best ways to handle things. James knew what Spock needed from him, the best way to deal with him, to not provoke the more negative emotions; while Spock, even lost as he was in the emotions and the 'biological needs', his bond to James reminded him that it was about more than just mating, that James was important, it allowed him to have more care with him, to ensure they wouldn't hurt each other. They were truly telsu, and more than that, they were t'hy'la, and it showed.
After the first three days Spock still felt the desire in his blood, but it wasn't the only thought he had, he was able to go slower, to be gentler, and sometimes after an orgasm the two of them would just lay on their bed, side by side and… talk. About anything and everything. James told Spock about Sam, the brother he hadn't seen since he'd run away, almost twenty years prior. How Sam believed James to be dead, though the blonde still kept an eye on him, his wife and children from a distance. Spock told him about his half-brother, Sybok, who was seen as a revolutionary as he rejected the logic inherent in Vulcan tradition, choosing instead to embrace his feelings, much like their pre-reformation ancestors. He'd been disavowed by the family, but since joining Starfleet and learning more of his own human side Spock had come to understand him better, they'd been in touch through texts for the last decade, though they hadn't met in person since Sybok had left Vulcan, when Spock was still a teenager. Spock knew about T'Lura already, about Tarsus, and the basics of how James had met Cilaun, and how the two of them came to join a crew of Klingons. Somehow, what they'd managed to never talk about before, was who exactly James had been before all that…
"James Tiberius Kirk, son of George and Winona Kirk." James declared, slightly defensive.
It was no surprise to the blonde that his telsu recognized his name, what was surprising was that it wasn't about 'St. George Kirk' (as James referred to him sometimes in his own head), no, the words to come out of Spock's mouth were the last he ever expected:
"You're JT…" Spock breathed out in realization.
"I… yes…" It took a few seconds for the human to focus enough to ask the all-too-important question: "How do you know that name?"
So Spock told him, about Christopher and Number One, and especially what she'd told him about why Christopher acted the way he did at times…
"I… didn't know." James admitted, exhaling as he threw his head back, looking at nothing at all. "I never wanted to hurt anyone, you know? When I decided to declare myself dead… Winona had just died, and Aurelan was looking for me. Not my brother, he didn't give a shit, didn't even try to find me to tell me the news himself, no instead his wife was the one trying to track me down. And in the end she was only doing it because Frank was trying to fight Sam on the subject of the will, trying to keep the house, which was supposed to go to me. I actually considered going back, you know?" He shook his head. "But then I thought… what was I supposed to do? It's not like I wanted the house, or anything from Winona anyway! I already owned a house anyway, the one that belonged to M'aih, and which passed on to me when she died. I rented it to a nice family for years, until eventually we reached an agreement and they bought it. I hate Iowa, was never interested in going back to that place." He exhaled again. "I never imagined I'd end up hurting someone else. I… Captain Pike, and his Number One… they saved us. They went down to the planet of the damned and saved us, when no one else cared… then we were back on Earth, and my kids were off with their families, and that fucking excuse of a therapist was doing nothing at all to help me, just focusing on looking good to the cameras and getting his five minutes in the spotlight for being the doctor of 'George Kirk's son'! I just… I couldn't stay. I began traveling, and when Earth could no longer hold me, I left the planet entirely. I was never interested in going back. Far as I was concerned, there was nothing for me back there…" He extended a hand, tracing a line down Spock's bare flank slowly with a single finger. "Now I wonder if I shouldn't have done it anyway. Would our first meeting have been easier or harder then?"
"There's no point in thinking about such things, t'hy'la." Spock replied. "Kaiidth, what is, is. Though I'd still like it if we could visit Christopher and Number One some day, if you would agree to tell them the truth. I'm sure they'd appreciate it."
"I will do it, for you, but only if they can keep the information to themselves." James decided after a few seconds. "I have no interest in being James T. Kirk ever again. I am James yoD' Ravanok, that is the name I've chosen, that I've earned, that I take pride in…"
"James yoD' Ravanok is a good name, t'hy'la."
James smiled rakishly at him, bending his head to kiss his telsu in a very human way. There was no more talking for a while.
xXx
Several hours later James woke to find himself alone in the bed. A light touch upon the bond let him know that his telsu was outside, on the stone garden, meditating. Unsurprising considering that he hadn't been able to meditate at all for the duration of his pon farr.
Spock for his part was sitting on a plain bench in the stone garden on the east side of the estate. He was wearing a vulcan robe, his feet bare, eyes closed as he let his mind empty of anything and everything, as he slowly but surely regained the balance and control all vulcans lost during their Time. He spent several hours in deep mediation, the bond with James thrummed in the back of his mind, a strange kind of sound that instead of distracting him, helped sooth him, making it easier than usual for him to fall deeply into a meditative state.
He came out of it several hours later. With just a brush against the bond he could tell that James was awake and taking advantage of the water option in the estate to take a long, relaxing bath. He also seemed to realize that Spock was out of meditation, by the way he sent a concentrated burst of love at Spock and a sense of hunger, followed by a question. They weren't quite up to talking telepathically through their bond, but Spock had no doubt they'd get there eventually, probably even sooner rather than later. All they needed was time… and they'd be having a lot of it, what with him leaving Starfleet…
"You didn't tell me that." James's voice pulled him out of his musings.
Spock turned to look at him. Finding the blonde human standing at the glass door leading from his 'wing' in the estate, to the stone garden. He was wearing washed-out jeans, which hung low on his hips, chest and feet bare, his hair messy and a bit damp still.
"That you had quit Starfleet." James clarified, waving a hand vaguely at their heads. "I may not know how to properly communicate just yet, but when I really focus… I can hear you. Not your every thought but, I think, the things you really want me to hear."
Spock wasn't surprised, that was how it worked after all. And it wasn't like he hadn't heard James a few times in the past. He'd made use of it to help pull him out of some of his worst nightmares, especially those concerning his near-death in Praxis, and the horror that was Tarsus IV, or as he called it, the planet of the damned (though somehow Spock had managed to miss what the children called him, and the connection to the story Number One told him).
"It was a logical decision." Spock stated simply. "Duty compels us. Your duty to the Klingon High Chancellor, to the Lady Kariva, and to your sister and brother."
"And what about your duty to Starfleet?"
"There are many captains in Starfleet. The Lady Kariva has only two shields, of which you are the first. I have made my choice, t'hy'la, you need not doubt it."
"I'm not doubting you, I just don't want you to have to give up anything…"
"The only thing I could never give up is you, ashal-veh…"
"I know, I could never give you up either." James bent down to kiss him full on the mouth, quick and dirty, before straightening up and refocusing. "Which is why… I have a plan…"
Spock could only marvel when it was all explained to him. James, Asad, and some of the best Klingon engineers had been working on a new model of starship. Bigger than the Ramjep, but not quite as big as Starfleet's Constitution-class starships, like the Enterprise. It also had a style a bit less like the klingon warships, and while it was certainly well equipped, both for attack and for defense, they weren't actually warbirds, not like the more traditional klingon starships. Like Spock imagined, with the peace treaty officially signed, they planned on having James and his crew continue doing their thing, except in the whole of Alpha and Beta Quadrant, rather than just the Neutral Zone and edges of the Klingon Empire. What Spock hadn't expected was that, as part of the plan they'd be inviting members of Starfleet to be part of their crew.
"The idea is to lead by example." James summarized. "We will show everyone that it can be done. That the Federation and the Empire can work together. Can live together and strive towards a common goal. We hope that will make things easier when the very first klingon arrive to Starfleet Academy next year. We really want this to work, and we're committed to it."
Spock almost laughed, a very human laugh, as he realized his James had just handed him the 'other option' a part of him had been hoping for all along… James did laugh, clearly having picked up on the thought.
"I don't believe in no-win scenarios." He stated brazenly.
Spock said nothing as he pulled the blonde down to him in a very human kiss. Truth was, in that moment, neither did he.
xXx
With pon farr being over and new and exciting plans for their future being made, Spock and James decided they might as well return to Earth sooner rather than later; because James and his crew had been on Earth recently, even if Spock hadn't known it, finalizing the details for the upcoming mission (the Vulcan wondered if perhaps Christopher had known, if that was the real reason he refused to accept Spock's resignation…). Still, because they couldn't leave Vulcan without visiting Spock's parents (Amanda would never forgive them), the two headed into ShiKahr in James's new ship: the Puksu.
They hadn't called ahead, saw no need for it. Amanda had told them repeatedly how they should consider any home of hers as their own, and while Sarek hadn't been quite so explicit, he did express agreement with his wife's words. In any case, it was clear that they weren't expected, and they certainly weren't expecting the conversation they happened to overhear between Amanda and 'Elder Selek' (who, for an older, alternate version of his telsu really didn't seem to like James for some reason the blonde couldn't fathom… nor did he try that hard, it wasn't something he cared that much about in the end, only one Spock mattered to him).
"You knew, from the start, that it was James, didn't you?" Amanda asked Selek.
The Elder didn't reply to her, letting the heavy, uncomfortable silence settle between them, though Amanda didn't seem to be affected by it.
"When Captain Pike brought Spock after Nyota couldn't help him, when T'Pau told us that he already had a bond, that he needed his telsu… you knew who it was, yet you kept your silence." Amanda pressed. "Oh, don't try that blank expression with me mister. I may not have given birth to you, technically, but you're still a version of my son. I know you. I want to know why you lied to us, why when it was something so important."
"I… did not lie." Selek murmured, though he sounded hesitant.
"A lie by omission is still a lie, and you know that, so try again."
"I couldn't know for sure…"
"Another lie. I'm quite sure that the other James, in your universe, was your telsu."
"H-how…?" Never had the older Spock sounded so shocked by something…
"I told you, I know you."
"I… I really couldn't know for sure that it was him. I thought so, but when I called him by his name he denied it, and when he introduced himself…"
"So Ravanok isn't his name, or at least, not his original one." She nodded, mostly to herself. "I had suspected as much." She exhaled. "And I hope you realize that your current excuse makes it sound like you think there's something wrong with James being who he is in this universe…"
"He calls himself a Klingon!"
"And? Klingons aren't our enemies, not anymore. Not since High Chancellor meQpu'yay ascended to power, if I've understood all that's been said in the meetings I've attended correctly. We're currently more at risk of being at conflict with the Romulan Empire than the Klingon one! And you've had no issue with advocating for peace with the romulans."
"Neither have you."
"No, but I'm all for advocating peace, everywhere, with everyone. You, mister, are acting like you believe that being a klingon citizen automatically makes James… less, somehow."
"My Jim would have never…" Selek broke off as he realized what he'd just said.
"No, he probably wouldn't have," Amanda agreed easily. "You know better than anyone else when it comes to him. But that doesn't mean you know better when it comes to this universe's version of him. James isn't your Jim, and no one should expect him to be. That would be a disservice to both versions of him." Spock said nothing, but Amanda didn't seem to be expecting him to as she went on. "Have you ever considered the possibility that when you went into that black hole, you might not have just traveled backwards but also… well, sideways?"
"You mean the possibility that this might not be my universe at all, not even an alternate universe caused by Nero's actions, and my own. But that it might be another universe entirely…"
"I'm not a scientist. But I think you should consider the possibility. Maybe if you stop seeing this universe as an extension of yours and see it as a different one, see us as different individuals, that might help you accept its differences. Might help you be at peace with the fact that things aren't at all the way you expected them to be…"
"I am doing a disservice to them all, by my actions, am I not?" Selek admitted after what seemed like forever. "Not just to… your son, and to everyone else in this universe, but also to the people in my own past. My crew, my family… trying to make them all fit into molds never meant for them. Trying to make them into people they are not and were never meant to be…" He exhaled. "And yet, one thing has proven a universal constant, and it is that the brilliance of Amanda Grayson will always far exceed that of the stars…"
Amanda smiled, chuckling a bit in the bat of her throat even as she smacked Selek's arms lightly, chastising him for embarrassing her.
James said nothing, walking away before they could be found, Spock went after him. They said nothing as they walked for a few minutes, until eventually finding their way to a small park, where James sat on a bench in contemplative silence. For the longest time Spock said nothing, just sat beside his telsu, not quite following all the messy thoughts twisting themselves inside the human's mind. His mind was so active, so fascinating, Spock was still growing used to the leaps of logic and the connections his James could make. Sometimes it was easier to just wait for the human to put his thoughts in order and explain them.
"Ashal-veh…?" The Vulcan-hybrid finally asked after what seemed like forever.
"It's alright ashaya, I'm… okay I won't say fine, I know how much you hate that word." James smiled slightly. "I'm… happy."
Spock didn't understand, and James could tell that much through their bond.
"Not about what Selek did, not exactly, but I cannot say I'm angry either. If he has some kind of problem with me… well, that's his problem, not mine." James shrugged. "Still, I cannot help but be happy, because now I know, without a sliver of doubt, that our love is absolute and forever. I know that whatever the circumstances, whatever else might happen in any given universe and reality, we will always find each other…"
Spock could see it then, as if James had purposefully cleared it all and then pushed it into his own mind. In a universe where he'd remained James T. Kirk, where his father probably never died and… who knew what else happened, but with his father alive his mother would have never married Frank, the two probably stayed in Starfleet, which meant that more likely that not James joined eventually. Such a different life… and they managed to find each other. They met, and they fell in love, and they bonded… And in their own universe, where George Kirk died but minutes after James was born, where he chose to give up his birthname, to live as a citizen of the Klingon Empire, where he never even thought of joining Starfleet… they still managed to meet, to fall in love, to bond… In that moment there was no doubt in James's mind that whatever the universe, whatever their history, he and Spock would always find each other…
In a few minutes the two of them would be going back to Amanda's and Sarek's place, say hello, perhaps have lunch with them (and Selek, if he was still around); they'd never let them know what they overheard. Then they'd get on James's ship and travel to Earth, to officially christen their new ship (they'd already chosen the name: Kir-Alep) and begin choosing its crew. Already they knew Kariva, Cilaun, Asad, Tsernono, Avoss, Hotaru and a few others among the klingons and taHaI would be joining; Spock had also no doubt that Nyota would be very interested in being part of such an endeavor. They'd visit Christopher and Number One, finally allowing them to find closure regarding 'JT', and perhaps in time James would come to see those two as friends, just like Spock did.
But that was the future, and for the time being all they focused on was that moment. The fact that the two of them were together, and the certainty that as long as that remained true, they could do anything…
So, what do you think?
I'm not the first person to suggest that Spock didn't just travel to the past but also, as Amanda said, 'sideways', as a way of saying that rather than create an alternate reality, from the start he and the Narada landed in a different reality. It's a particularly useful idea to explain the difference in eye color for more than just Jim Kirk, the difference in Chekov's age, the absence of Sam, Sybok, even Khan's looks (for those who haven't read the comic that explains that change, or simply choose not to use that convenient explanation).
And what about Spock being the one close to Chris this time around? I wanted to showcase how much things can change by a single choice... Hope you liked it.
Please don't forget to leave likes/kudos, and comment/review, tell me what you liked, what you didn't, etc. I live for your feedback!