Pieck was the last to wake up at dawn. It took her a moment to remember where she was and why in the world she was lying in the ground coated with soggy leaves.
Oh, yes. The Rumbling.
She and the Alliance were all settled at a little camp surrounded by rustling bushes.
She sat upright as the traumatic events of the previous day slowly returned to her. The heart wrenching images came easily to her mind: her and her father, the very moment she and him met eyes after the halting the Rumbling. How they huddled together, tearfully embracing one so tight that Pieck believed she would melt into him. That was the happiest moment of her life during the first few terrifying days of the Rumbling. Nostalgia sent her into a dizzy spell, causing her to nearly faint.
Pieck glanced up to the skies to see a haze of blended colors of rosy pinks and sandy yellows. The golden sun trying to force its way through the masses of fluffy, light silver clouds.
As the sleep completely left her system, she became aware of her empty stomach. After escaping the Rumbling, Pieck had no appetite at all. But now, she was starving.
Everyone, Jean, Mikasa, Armin, Falco, and Levi were all wide awake. Jean was collecting wood for the fire tonight while Mikasa and Armin and Falco, eating on their own snacks of crackers and cheese, plopped on the damp ground.
For a moment, she fixated on Falco, remembering Armin's reveal. He attained the Founding Titan. That single thought rendered her speechless. There were just no words to describe how she felt at this moment. It has to be the most undeserving of us all. Falco should live a long and carefree life as a child. Now he was bonded with the true harbinger of death and destruction.
The only one not on the ground was Levi. Pieck found him perched up in the tall trees, overlooking the outside of the camp, his blade out and taut in his grip.
Seeing him reminded Pieck why they're hiding out in the forest in the first place, at any moment a Yeagerist could step into their campsite and just slaughter them.
Her stomach growled softly, and her eyes were drawn to Jean's little food pouch that he left on his sleeping sheet. She knew that Jean kept his packages of crackers and cheese in there.
In near silence, she crawled on all fours and made her way through the damp brown leaves, grabbing the pouch. Now, she zipped it open and pulled out the package of crackers and the cheese. She crammed a thin slice of the cheese between two crackers and popped it into her mouth.
The sharp taste of salt and cheddar satisfied her tastebuds. It was delicious. Not like fancy Marley food that's granted to the Honorary Marleyans. But better than nothing.
When she turned back around, Jean was staring at her with hungry eyes. "Can I have some of my food too?" he asked.
Pieck had to stifle a giggle. "Of course. Sorry." She quickly made two more of the little cracker "sandwiches" and gave them to Jean.
She settled on the ground, removed a small slice of cheese and set about eating it. She noticed Jean's eyes lingering hungrily, shrugged, and pulled out another piece to give to him.
He thanked her and promptly settled down beside her to eat.
It was almost funny, when she thought about it. Back in Marley, it would be inconceivable to even think about eating alongside a Paradis Eldian, let alone a campsite full of them. But yet here she was, perched next to Jean Kirstein, eating cracker-cheese sandwiches. Breakfast was a silent affair, the silence hanging over Pieck like a thick fog. She sat forward, not exchanging one glance to Jean, as she mutely ate her meal.
After breakfast ended, the morning was quiet with a unshakable sense of wariness in the air. The only sounds filling the void being those of the forest: the wind blowing through the leaves, the occasional scattering squirrels or birds hopping around on the ground several dozen yards away. Each members spent the remainder of the morning either collecting resources or taking turns patrolling. Pieck felt an adrenaline rush at every sudden sound, for fear that it would be a Yeagerist just laying in wait. Her concerns through the day danced between the arrival of a Yeagerist, from the paranoia of the alliance deciding to turn on her, from fear to the a roaming Titan just lurking around the corner and most importantly, she was absolutely terrified for Falco. All Pieck had left from Marley was herself and him. The two sole survivors. But yet the one she just couldn't seem to get close to the most. She would try to speak to him, keeping an close distance to him, and trying to pry into his heavy mind. But he had very little words to give, and seemed to grow more and more withdrawn every passing minute. All Pieck could do was check up on him, make sure that he's eating and drinking, and hope that the rest of the group does the same when she is not around.
She still found herself unable to comprehend where she was and how she came to be here. As she assisted Mikasa in patrolling in the trees, Pieck found himself studying everyone closely.
Mikasa Ackerman. An aloof and perpetually quiet ace with ODMgear and blades, one of the two strongest on the alliance and the two most dangerous humans to Pieck. With her Ackerman bloodline granting her the developing fighting instincts and perfect self-control of her body far above the average human. This is because she can access the Power of the Titans to a limited extent without transforming. Similar to Jean, Pieck has only interacted with her on the battlefield. Although the two never came to blows, Pieck knew that she had a very slim chance of actually succeeding against her.
Armin Arlert- The current holder of the Berholdt's Colossal Titan. A blonde and blue-eyed soldier that looked horribly young to Pieck. He didn't look much like anyone of the alliance, imposing, physical fit, or strapping. He had a gentle face and a small physique that resembled more of a helpless child than a formidable solider. Although, from Pieck's small interactions with him, he possessed an remarkably intellect that rivaled that of Zeke Yeager.
Levi Ackerman. Widely known within Paradis as the "Humanity's strongest soldier." And without a shadow of a doubt, his reputation was not an exaggeration. Unbelievably adept at using the vertical maneuvering equipment, he was a force to reckoned with on the battlefield. Even after he sustained rather impairing injuries from his final battle with Zeke, he still remained a fairly capable soldier. Pieck could still immaculately recall the brutal takedown of Zeke's Beast Titan to this day. Where he flawlessly and effortlessly overpowered him with his neckbreaking speed and unimaginable strength, severely mangling Zeke beyond recognition. However, other than his impressive capabilities, Pieck could not discern much about him personally.
As the morning sunk into the afternoon, the group decided to split. A stone-faced Mikasa joined Levi up in the trees, Armin and Falco went off to collect edible herbs, and Pieck decided to join Jean in collecting fish from the faraway stream.
The stream is fifteen miles away from the campsite. After about an hour, they found the stream, shallow but wide, and sufficient for their needs. The sun high in the blue skies, hot and severe. The lush forest brimming with summer life, herbs to gather, small animals scattering about in the trees, and masses of fish iridescent in the sunlight.
Pieck found it all truly beautiful. She always did. Even the very first time she ever stepped onto Paradis soil, she was enthralled by how drastically different it was from Marley. The breathtaking, crystal blue ocean that laid beyond Paradis, the thick forests full of animal life, the magnificent hills and mountains in the horizon, even the gigantic walls that once protected the Paradis citizens held an uncanny beauty to it.
"Here," Pieck looked to Jean to see him hold out one of his blades to her. "We can use this as a fishing stick."
Pieck took the blade, and her eyes widened when she realized how heavy it was.
Jean seemed to notice this. "Something's wrong?"
Pieck felt her cheeks burn abashedly. "Nothing. I didn't expect it to be so heavy." She admitted.
Jean chuckled. "Yeah, me neither at first. When I held it the first time, I remember spending nights, thinking to myself; how am I going to cut the nape with this thing if I can't hold it up right?"
For some reason, Pieck found that slightly funny, even though she shouldn't. For the longest time, she's always been on the receiving end of the blade. And it always looked so harmless and breakable. But once she actually witnessed the full potential of the ODMgear, it proved to be nothing to underestimate.
"Not to mention, you're vertically maneuvering through the air at the same time. Makes me wonder how you never drop the blades with all that momentum."
"You get used to it after a while. The blood rushing into your ears, your ears popping, and the dizziness." Jean plunged his blade into the stream, almost immediately pinned a silver fish to the end.
For a moment, Pieck watched him thrusting the blade into the water, so precise and gracefully that it looked effortless. He successfully captured another fish with an accomplished smile.
Pieck then followed suit, and clumsily so, she somehow managed to lodged the tip of the blade into the bottom of the shallow stream, missing all the passing fish, forming a shallow groove.
She thrusted again, aiming for a large silver fish, she plunged the blade hard into the water. Another miss.
She wrenched her weapon forcibly out of the ground and rammed the blade again. The blade missed entirely, and when she wrenched it out, it slipped out of her grip, and landed on the ground beside her. Pieck cursed and bent down to pick it up.
As she does, she caught a glimpse of Jean watching her as he plucked out fish after fish. A shudder ran down her spine when she briefly met with his.
Jean watching her didn't exactly bother her. But rather it was the sheer intensity of his gaze—it was similar to the same gaze they shared months before, when they would watch one another in an effort to discern both of their strengths and weaknesses.
"Are we truly friends?" Pieck asked herself. She still could not shake off the awkwardness between them. She still harbored a deep-seated fear that Jean and his friends will turn on her in the near future. They have multitude of reasons to do so.
A small break in the clouds overhead caused the sun to gleam off of Jean's brown eyes like polished amber. His gaze was somewhat different this time, he was watching her intently, in a curious, nearly sympathetic sort of way.
She couldn't deny that she has grown to develop a great deal of trust with Jean during their time shared on the battlefield. He was definitely not the scrawny, helpless weakling, she imagined all of the Eldians would be. Instead he showed himself to be pragmatic, reliable and blunt. Even when they were enemies, she respected him for defeating her with his impressive skills of strategy and strapping physique.
But still, she did not know every single detail about him.
She realized how stupid she was being at this moment, she broke off their gaze in a split second. Why, she didn't know. "Why?" was a very good question. Allies, friends, he had said. She remembered how she would talk and befriended her colleagues back in Marley, learning every single random fact about them.
It came to her attention that she never had any form of meaningful conversations with Jean at all.
"Might as well start now." Pieck thought. She was forced to rack her brain for something suitable to ask. Asking about his daily life in Paradis would be highly unfitting. Asking him about his family is out of the question. Asking him about his time serving in the Survey Corp would be inappropriate.
She then remembered her childhood in the internment camp. Where she would ask the other children countless questions about hopes and dreams, favorite foods, and favorite colors.
"What's your favorite color?"
Jean pulled out another fish, looking at her bewildered. "What?"
Pieck quickly looked away, her eyes settled on the rushing water currents.
It sounded like a stupid question, and in all truth, it was. But it was the only question she could think of.
Jean lets out an amused chuckle. "I like green,"
"Green, huh?" Her eyes flickered to her green uniform she stole to infiltrate the Yeagerists. Was that supposed to be some subtle jab?
"Oh, and blue, too," he added. "Blue is actually my main favorite, what about you?"
Her voice came out soft. "Um...purple and red and I like blue as well." She loved the purple the most. It was such a nice, elegant color, it was the main color she used in her coloring books when she was small. It just had a sort of subtle strength that she just truly liked.
"Any reason why you're asking?" Jean turned to face her, he had five small fish at his feet, enough to feed the whole camp for tonight.
Pieck averted her eyes. "I just wanted to know." She said vaguely. "You know, we've been through so much...I thought we should just get to know each other."
"Oh." Pieck snapped her eyes to Jean, his expression teeming with interest. "Alright, it was just weird that you asked me that out of the blue."
Pieck let out a nervous chuckle. "Well it's just there's not many things we can ask each other."
Jean took on an understanding look. "Make sense," A small chuckle hummed from his lips. "It's almost kinda funny when you think about it. All that time we spent trying to kill each other, here we are, talking about our favorite colors."
Pieck had to stifle the giggle that was building inside her throat.
Jean then lazily shrugged his shoulders. "But it's fine, Pieck, really. At this point, you can ask me anything."
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Pieck sighed softly. She looked down at his pile of fish with dismay. "Well I caught nothing."
"Yeah, it seemed like you were just stabbing the water rather than the fish." Jean said teasingly.
The blood rushed into Pieck's face again, a sudden rush of heat and color that she'd been entirely unprepared for. "Shut up, this is my first time using these things." With a glare, she handed it back to him. "If I could, I would just transform and just gather up fish in my mouth."
Jean chuckled in amusement. "I mean you'll probably have to use these things at some point."
Pieck's eyes widened when he said that. "What?"
Jean shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, just like you said, it's not a good idea for you to transform. So you might as well learn how to vertical maneuver." Then a glazed look appeared on his face. "I mean if we ever manage to find any more ODMgear lying around. We're pretty limited as of now."
Pieck took a moment to think about that. She imagined herself attached to the metal ODMgear, gliding through the air like a bird, graceful and fluid, swinging her sword like a scythe. Then she realized how useless she would be in combat. She wasn't even a graceful person on the ground, her fluctuating in the air would make no difference.
How she came to be the Cart Titan was a stroke of luck in itself. In the Candidate selection, she had to compete with so many qualified candidates who would have easily surpassed her, if it wasn't for her impressive intellect and stamina.
Willow Wicker. She still remembered her best school friend's face so clearly: long shiny golden hair with long bangs, bright blue-grey eyes, and a dimpled smile. She was Pieck's dearest friend in the gritty, desolate place like the Internment Camp.
She and her both competed for the Cart Titan once the Female Titan was no longer available. Willow went on to end her own life three weeks after she was dispatched from the Candidate program entirely.
To this day, Pieck still harbored a great deal of guilt for being the one to attain the Cart Titan instead of Willow, knowing that all she wanted to do was take her entire family out of the camp.
"Thanks, but it's fine. That's not much time and we shouldn't be wasting resources. I am a Titan Shifter, I'm my own main weaponry. If we do run into those Yeagerist, I'll just bite them in half." Pieck said.
Jean nodded in agreement, he became silent for a moment, a thoughtful look crossing his face. "Hey, mind if I ask you something?"
"What?"
"How many years do you have left?" Jean asked straightforwardly.
"Two." Pieck answered precisely.
Jean stood there motionless, his face washed blank, but yet Pieck could see the faintest suggestion of sorrow brewing within his brown eyes.
"Jean?"
Jean said nothing.
Pieck scrutinized his face even more.
"Jean?" She said even louder.
This time, Jean seemed to hear her because his eyes had an illegible flicker within them.
"I just didn't know you had such a short time..I...I...thought you had a bit longer…"
"Yeah." She said plainly. "I was turned when I was young. So I'll die once I reach twenty-three." Pieck explained matter-of-factly.
"You're very calm about it." Jean said in an uneasy voice.
Pieck shrugged nonchalantly. "The Curse of Ymir was the first thing I was informed of when I was selected." She then tried to cheer him up. "You're 19, so you have six years left."
Jean stared at her, at an uncharacteristic loss for words. It seemed that her efforts offered no solace to him. And understandably so, Pieck knew. She has long accepted her fate. But Jean probably doesn't share the same sentiment. His entire life has been reduced to an hourglass. All of his goals, dreams, and aspirations was now ticking away. She felt a pang of sympathy for him.
"Jean," Pieck took a step closer to him.
Jean suddenly clenched his fists. "I just still can't believe all of this happened. I swear all of this just feels like a dream...the Rumbling...Reiner...Connie...Gabi...Falco...so much has happened."
A shiver ran down Pieck's spine, his words drew back the painful memories. Back to her father, to her comrade's demises, the Rumbling resuming. Tears welled up in her eyes without warning.
As soon as Jean spoke, his eyes pinned to hers, and then he became flushed. "Sorry, I didn't want to remind you of…"
"No. It's fine. You can't change the past." Pieck blinked away from her mutinous tears. "I can't believe all of this either. If you had told me six months ago that we would all be trying to stop the Rumbling, I would have thought you were insane."
Jean lowered his eyes to the ground. "That's an understatement." He bent down to pluck up his five fish in one hand. "We should head back. It's getting late. I bet the guys are wondering where we are."
As they trudged through the forest, the pair treaded carefully and silently through the leaves, heads swiveling around like two owls as they searched for any signs of danger. The only life they spotted came in the form of birds with brilliant plumage perched in the branches, tree lizards with flickering yellow tongues, and little squirrels scattering through the trees. Other than these, the forest was still.
"Jean, what's your plan?" Pieck asked abruptly.
Jean paused in his tracks, visibly taken aback by that question. "Huh?"
Pieck stopped as well. "Your goals, your dreams, your plans for the future?"
Jean appeared thoughtful. "Personally I want to retire one day, and settle down somewhere. Just live in peace. Like you said, I still have six years left. So it's not like I'm gonna drop dead tomorrow. What about you?"
Pieck shrugged lazily. "My goal was always to serve Marley…" A miserable tone overtook her voice. "But...that's gone now. Everything is gone now."
"Anything else?" He pressed. "Any hobbies or jobs or passions you wanted to get into?"
Pieck thought that over. She never considered any other occupation. She was a Marley soldier. She had her own passions; music, art, and literature, but she didn't have the desire to seek a career with those interests.
"Nope." Pieck answered simply.
"You should think about spending your last two years doing something that makes you happy."
Pieck was unprepared for his statement, it hit her hard for some reason. Her cheeks started to heat up. "I...I...quite frankly my remaining years are irrelevant. We need to focus on…" Her voice vanished.
"Focus on what?" Pieck thought to herself. "How to save Marley? The place that's already gone. Stopping the Yeagerists? Is that even possible to do?"
Hopelessness wrapped itself around Pieck like a blanket. "What are we fighting for?" She muttered.
"Huh?" Jean didn't hear her soft whisper.
"What are we fighting for? Really?" Tears built up in her eyes once more, this time dripping down her cheeks. "What's left to do?"
Jean looked her in the eyes with a morose look. "I'm not going to lie, I have no idea. And I'm sure everyone else is as clueless as we are. None of us has a plan." He pressed his hand against his forehead. "In all truth, It doesn't matter how many Yeagerists we take down, that won't stop them from regrouping and developing more and more. We're outmatched and outnumbered by a longshot." Jean clenched his fists. "You know something, Pieck?"
"What?" Pieck noticed that Jean's face wrenched with heaviness.
"At first, I wasn't going to even help stop the Rumbling, and-"
Pieck cut him off. "Excuse me?" Her voice thin and shrill. "Why?" Before she knew it, anger crept into her voice. "Were...were..you actually siding with genocide?"
Jean released out a long sigh, his gaze settling onto the ground. "No. But I understood Eren's reasoning. He wanted to protect Paradis. He feared the day when all of us would be wiped out. Even Zeke, who kept claiming that he wanted to help us, wanted to eradicate us from the world by sterilizing us. Eren was the only one who sought out a solution for our survival."
Pieck, unable to find words, turned away, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Of course, I don't support genocide, but…"
"But what?" Pieck's face was turning red. Her voice rising up several octaves. "There was no justification. None. You truly believe that murdering innocent people is the only way to protect Paradis? Do you truly believe there were no other options?" she exclaimed indignantly. "How could you say such a thing? You're the same person who blew up his nape!"
"I know that, of course, I don't support the Rumbling. That's why I decided to come." Jean shook his head vehemently. "But what I'm trying to say is that even though I understood Eren's reasoning for the Rumbling, all I wanted to do was just lock myself in my room and just wait for it to be over. . But I went because my conscience would never let me rest. But even when we were all in that plane, flying over to Eren, I knew that we're facing a hopeless battle."
Pieck sniffled soggily, wiping off a hot tear from her cheek. She wanted to scream at him at this moment, that he was wrong. And that was hope, that was a chance to save everyone and defeat Eren. But when she opened her mouth, all that came out was air.
Jean exhaled deeply, locking eyes with Pieck. "I am very sorry for your loss. I truly am. I would never wish global genocide on anyone." His voice rang with sincerity. Pieck's ire settled in her chest.
"I just had a feeling, a gut feeling that something at some point would go wrong." Jean expressed. "Like—"
"Like Falco's predicament." Pieck whispered miserably.
Jean nodded slowly. "Yea, speaking of, how is the little guy? He's been very quiet ever since we came here."
"I'm not sure." She has tried to speak to Falco once they landed. She could remember the moment he emerged out of his Titan. Bloodshot eyes, moist cheeks, the sheer incomprehension written across his face. He was inconsolable. Sobbing and screaming so loud everyone was terrified that he would attract attention to them. There were many words Pieck wanted to say to him. But she came to the realization that she had no right to tell him how to feel. His emotions belonged to him and he had the right to express them. So all she was embracing him, gently cradling him in his arms just as her father did when she was his age.
"He should live with the Blaus." Jean suggested.
"The Blaus?" Pieck echoed. "Who-"
"They're the family that took him and Gabi in. Sasha's parents." His eyes reflected great sorrow when he said, "Sasha," He cleared his throat. "They'll happily take him in."
"Sasha." Pieck didn't know how to feel about Sasha. The first time she met Sasha was not a pleasant meeting to say the least. It was during the Liberio attack, and Sasha managed to shoot down one of her allies in cold blood. She was later than shot down by Gabi.
But she could discern from the intense grief permeating off of Jean's face, that she must have been a close companion.
"That sounds like a good idea." Pieck breathed.
"Yeah, he needs some normalcy. His entire life has been flipped upside down. His family is gone, and now that centipede is—maybe when everything is cleared up, we can send him over there and just leave it at that. He just shouldn't be burdened with all of this.."
"Absolutely."
With that, he started to walk ahead. "Come on, we need to head back."
Next chapter will come soon next week. Reviews and thoughts.