"HELLO HUMAN MAIDEN! WE HAVE COME TO FOSSICK THE POSSIBILITY OF RENTING OUT SEVERAL OF YOUR ADVERTISED ROOMS!" Came the loud energized voice of the shortest skeleton monster.
Saia stood there shocked for a second as she took in the three monsters before her. They were all taller then her. The hyper one that had spoken and was now beaming with excitement was more then likely two or three inches taller then her. He wore a baby blue scarf around his neck followed by a grey white shirt, gloves and boots that were the same color of the scarf, and lastly black shorts.
The middle in height couldn't have been a inch or two taller then the blue energizer bunny that excitedly beamed at her. This one seemed to be an exact copy except it was like the printer ran out of blue and reverted to using red and black. Another thing was the eye light color which wasn't blue but instead a violet purple that reminded her of Grillby's purple flames. Then there was the crack like scar that ran over one of his eye sockets and complete 360 attitude change. He looked like he was already disappointed with the place and he had not even been inside yet.
Then there was the tallest one. Hoooo boi. He was tall glass of water. Taller than her and the two skeletons and even, dare she say, her tallest brother Valon and her brother was a tall fucking dude. Last she checked he was 6 foot 7 inches while this properly dressed, in a black suit, skeleton was a good five inches taller. He sported a scar like crack over his socket as well however this one had three lines rather than just the one. He looked bored and snobby but waited patiently for Saia to allow them in.
Which she did after she realized she had been staring at them. Clearing her throat she stepped back a bit. "O-of course. Would you handsome men like to look at the inside of the house first or the property?"
"STEEL YOURSELF HUMAN FEMALE! IT WOULD BE WISE NOT TO SWOON OVER US BEFORE WE EVEN AGREED TO SIGN THE RESIDENTIAL CONTRACTS." The middle one boomed.
Oh great ego central with this one. Saia thought to herself trying not to roll her eyes but kept her polite smile.
"It Is Relatively Cool This Morning. If It Is No Trouble To Your Human Self We Would Be Happy To See The Property Fist Before Moving On To The Inside." The tallest skeleton said with a wave if his hand. He spoke a bit quieter which Saia was very much grateful for.
At least one if them had an inside voice.
"Awesome." She said cheerfully. "Would you guys like to ride in the Kubota or walk? It is a quite large property so if you guys are strapped for time it would be best to take the ride." Saia explained.
"OH! LETS GO FOR A RIDE! THAT SOUNDS SUPER FUN!" The blue skeleton beamed at the others with, were those stars in his sockets?
"WE ARE CURENTLY FREE TODAY BUT WE WILL GLADLY ACCEPT AND HUMBLE YOU WITH YOUR OFFER OF RIDING ON YOUR UTILITY VEHICLE." The purple one said unimpressed even though he was yelling.
The tallest did not object so she took it as a yes as well. Nodding she reached for her lanyard that held all the keys for the house and stepped out onto the porch.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry." She said shocked. "I haven't introduced myself. Sargent Major Gomez... but you guys can call me Saia if you feel like it. I don't mind." Saia said holding out her hand for them to take. She mentally cursed herself for blurting out her status and rank like she was still active duty. She quickly corrected herself and offered her first name instead.
"You Are Military?" The tallest asked stepping forward to shake her hand.
"Retired. They stationed me back here two years ago and asked if I wanted to go another five more years or leave, so I left." Saia offered her hand to the other two skeletons which they shook as well.
"So You Were Enlisted During The War?" He spoke again.
"I was." She said turning and using her hand to show the direction for them to follow. "How about yourself Mr.?" She trailed on the Mr. part suggesting to him to offer his own name.
"Edge. General Edge."
Saia dropped the keys at his name. General Edge?! The General Edge that was one of the 3 generals of the Queen's!? The one that wiped out countless enemy troops and camps in under a few days!? Oh shit. Apparently her mouth had dropped as a black gloved hand came to close it for her.
"FLYS DEAR." The medium skeleton chuckled. He reached out with the same hand and lifted her own to give it a quick kiss. A tingle of magic tickled her skin. "YOU MAY CALL ME MILORD, BUT GENERAL ALSO WORKS FINE AS WELL."
"AND YOU MAY CALL ME BLUE! I'M NOT A GENERAL LIKE THEM BUT I AM THE CAPTAIN IF THE RAOYAL GUARD! MYEH HEH!" Blue said cheerfully handing her the keys she had dropped.
"O-oh um y-yes." She blushed. Quickly realizing she was stumbling on her words she cleared her throat for a second time. Pulling her hand away from Milord she gently took her keys from Blue. "Ahem! I'm sorry. It is very nice to meet you all. Shall we?"
The three nodded at her as she motioned for them to follow. Rounding the porch the four stepped onto a dirt road that had a five seat Kubota Intimidator sitting patiently for its owner to hop inside. Saia took the driver's seat while Edge took the front passenger. Blue and Milord sat happily in the back seats.
Turning on the vehicle the four of them took off to their first destination. Coming up to what looked like a small airplane hanger she parked the Kubota and hopped off taking the keys with her. The three skeletons followed as she unlocked the door and flipped on the light switch.
"Here is my father's old car shop. I left the front the same since my brothers come around to use it but the back over here I have turned into my own little art building." She explained opening another door inside to reveal a large room with a wood working bench, a tool table, and an area where tons of paintings were stacked against a wall. There also was a roller chair that sat in front of a large flat standing easel.
The hanger/car shop was about thirty feet wide by fifty feet long. The ceiling was also exceptionally tall. The place was well kept and organized since neither of her brother's have been in it for a while.
"You guys are allowed to use any of the spaces on the property including this one. Though here I do have one rule which is no smoking. Since most of the paints, oils, varnishes, etc. are flammable I cant afford to have my trashy art to be set aflame." She giggled letting them wander around the place to look around.
"WILL WE BE ABLE TO USE THE CAR SHOP AS WELL?" Blue asked looking over the other Kubota that had broken down a while back.
"Yup. I don't use it so I don't see why you cant put these tools to work rather than let them just sit here collecting rust." She said twirling the fabric part of her lanyard. "Shall we head on?" She asked leading the way back to the working vehicle after they had exited the building and she had locked it back up.
Their next destination was the shooting range at the very back of the property. She didn't get out this time. Instead she explained from inside the Kubota.
"Of course our gun range. I don't come here as much but ya'll are free to use it if you guys like." She explained before following the road that curved right.
This one was a bit farther as the road took several turns and twists until they came to an open area not covered by oak and pecan trees. It was flat and completely leveled here giving the hint that this area had been heavily landscaped. In the middle was a large oval shaped pond that had a floating gazebo in the center that was attached to a flat bridge which came to land.
Parking next to the bridge she turned off the Kubota again and hopped out. Her shoes thudded against the weathered but solid wood as she went to the gazebo. When all of them got there the guys saw that there was a bench and small table at one side and a black plastic barrel in a corner.
They watched as Saia popped open the lid and dug her hand into the barrel to pull out a hand full of pellets. Turning to Blue she offered him some which he took curiously. With only a few pellets she tossed them into the water. In less than a second a feeding frenzy erupted from the fish that had risen from the bottom to scarf up the pinch of food that had landed on the surface.
Saia smiled when those stars reappeared in Blue's eyes. She started to explain while he threw a few pellets at a time to watch the fish come up and snatch them before the others could.
"As you can see we got a fully stocked pond full of both perch and large mouth bass. Every now and again we'll get migratory birds so if you like to bird watch you can chill here. Over there," She pointed to a deer feeder about ten feet from the tree line. "... is our feeder. We have white tail deer that like to swing by here and some wild turkeys. When Fall comes around this is where you want to be to see some good deer dueling. All the deer here are pets since my father had bought them off of a breeder so I ask not to kill any of them. You may not have seen since there was a lot of brush at the entrance but we keep a high fence to make sure they stay inside the property instead of going on to the neighboring one to be someone else's dinner. None of them are hand fed so don't expect them to come up to you to eat."
The group waited for Blue to finish before he dusted off his gloves and gave them a thumbs up. Once again and for the last time they hopped into the Kubota and headed back to the house. Parking in the back she turned the machine off and offered to show them the back of the house. Here there was a large pool area and a pool house. Saia came to the pool house first and slid open the sliding door.
"The pool of course and here we have an outside gym. I turned the old pool house into it cus I didn't know what else to do with it and since I didn't want to turn it into another storage room I ended up with a gym. Of course feel free to use as well as the pool. Just know though that any pool parties must be supervised to make sure no one gets hurt or make sure that no anyone breaks anything because they got drunk and unruly. Any damages will result in you not getting your deposits back. There is no schedule or specific time it opens or closes so as long as you clean up you can use it whenever you want. All right are you guys cool with the outside?" Saia smiled placing both hands on her hips.
"YES. ALTHOUGH I EXPECTED TO FIND A DUMP I AM QUITE SATISFIED WITH THE EXTERIOR PART OF YOUR HOME." Milord said in a snarky tone.
Saia kept her smile. "Thank you. I'll be sure to let Hex know you like his handiwork."
She missed the moment when the skeletons tensed before collecting themselves.
"There Is Someone Else That Rents Here?" Edge asked his tone turning angry for some reason.
"No. Hex is our house and grounds keeper. He comes every Monday through Friday from 8am to 8pm. He is a very hard worker and very nice so I hope, if you all decide to move in, to make friends with him. Today though he had an appointment to go to so I gave him the day off and paid him for it even though he insisted of just a few hours."
"WOW YOUR SO NICE!" Blue said patting her shoulder.
"Your pretty cool yourself Blue." Saia smiled and patted his hand that was touching her.
She missed the faint blush that appeared on his nose bridge.
A clearing of a non existent throat made her bring her attention back to the taller skeletons.
"SHALL WE LOOK AT THE INTERIOR OF THE HOUSE AND WHICH ROOMS ARE AVAILABLE." Milord commanded rather then asked.
"Of course."
The group then went inside through the back sliding door. Once inside they followed the short hallway that led them to the main living room. From where they were, if they looked straight, they would see the front door to the house a good 30 feet away. To the left was the living room. It had 2 large leather sofas and 2 recliners facing a wall mounted 146' inch Samsung tv. Following the wall to the left some more was a painted glass door. Continuing until you got to the group were three more doors but they were wood. To the right, going back to the front door, was the kitchen then the stair case that led to the second floor and past that was a hall that had two more wood doors.
Leading the way to the left she came up to the first door.
"So the living room is there and here we have one of the four rooms we have for rent on this level. All the rooms come fully furnished but if you want to bring in your own furniture that's perfectly fine as well." Walking into the room she went over to the two doors opening one she showed them the walk in closet before moving and opening the other to show them the bathroom. "All rooms come with their own full bath and walk in closet. My laundry day is on Fridays so I'm sure you can schedule yours throughout the week."
She watched as Milord and Edge nodded. Leaving the room she pointed to them the two doors on the left. "The fourth room is there and an Office room as well. Again free to use if you choose. Now before I take you all into this pretty room does anyone have any allergies to anything?"
The boys shook their heads.
"Good. Then you can come with me." She happily skipped over to the painted glass door. Yet before she opened it she held a finger to her lips telling them to keep silent. When they did she opened the door to reveal an indoor aviary.
The aviary looked to have once been a green room as glass walls and pointed ceiling bathed the heavily treed room in bright morning light. There were many potted trees inside as well as ropes and stands that the birds could climb, perch, and sleep on. Almost on cue after seeing their owner the birds inside happily chirped and squawked for her attention but once they saw the new comers they quickly grew silent as they were unsure of what to make of them.
"The aviary is only open during the day time. There are snacks and treats you can feed them but if you want to give them vegetables or fruits please look at the list on the fridge in the kitchen. It shows which ones they can have for that day. No junk foods are allowed in here please." Saia explained. The guys watched her as she went over to a pitch black parrot with red cheek patches around its beak.
"Hello Vlad! Are you having a good morning?" She said sweetly giving her arm for the Palm Cockatoo to step up on. He did and climbed all the way onto her shoulder.
"Good morning." The parrot mimicked automatically going for her braid to play with.
"Vlad would you like to say hi to some new friends?"
"New friends!" He repeated.
Walking slowly she went up to the guys. She waited for one of them to step forward to take the bird and was shocked to see Edge come forward. Extending her arm she motioned for him to do the same and then linked hers with his. Immediately after doing so Vlad climbed off her arm and onto his. Edge stood calmly as the parrot climbed its way to sit onto his shoulder.
Saia smiled at how the pair looked quite good together. Even if Edge looked a little tense when Vlad's beak came to test the fabric of his suit.
At seeing the biggest bird sitting on the shoulder of the newcomers the smaller birds in the aviary slowly started to find their voice. Soon enough the room was filled with a calm and steady stream of chirps and squawks.
Once Saia saw that Vlad was good to be left on Edge she let go of his arm and turned to the other two. "Would you guys like to hold a bird as well?"
Blue of course was ecstatically nodding his head but Milord seemed to contemplate it for a moment before shrugging an ok.
"Awesome. Now lets see. Who should we get?" She asked herself as she turned to the birds. Spying the salmon Cockatoo she went, picked her up the same way as Vlad, and brought the bird over to Milord whom took it in the same way Edge did. "This is Peach. She is super sweet. Watch. Peach could you give him a kiss?"
Milord flinched as the smaller parrot turned and pressed her beak on the side of his face before pulling away quickly making a kissing sound. Blue and Saia giggled at the sight of a violet blush spread across his face as Peach assaulted him with a heavy load of fake kisses.
"Your turn Blue." Grabbing his hand she dragged him to an iron chair and guided him to sit. Once he did she walked over to a glass jar on a metal shelf and pulled out two millet sticks. Immediately most of the parakeets flew over to her to try and eat them but she ducked and dodged them away until she was able to come back to Blue. Quickly she deposited a stick in each of his hands and stepped back to watch him get swarmed by at least 20 multi colored parakeets. The birds landed and climbed on him as they tried to get to the millets. Soon not even five minutes later they flew off of them and went back to their trees once all the seeds on the two sticks were completely removed. The happy go lucky skeleton seemed to look a bit down when they few away but he still had that smile on his face for getting to feed them. Standing he dusted the feathers and seed shells off of him to turn his attention back to the others whom were now getting their own parrots removed and back to their respected perches.
Once they left the room and it was closed off once more Saia directed them to the upper level. There she pointed out the two other rooms available up there and led them to a room that had a hazard warning sign. The guys looked at her skeptically but she just smiled at them. Pointing behind her she directed their attention to the room that was there.
"That's my room. All I ask is for a bit of privacy at night but please come get me if I'm in there only if something really important pops up. In here," She directed to the door with the hazard sign and with a seductive sweet voice said. "... is my torture room."
Saia could have laughed at the shocked and confused faces of the guys as she opened the door to reveal not an actual torture room but a room well suited for the three small animals that lived inside. The walls were decked out with posters, sayings, and cute pictures of guinea pigs of different types. The room though was divided in half. On the side with the door where of course Saia and the guys but also a dresser that had animal treats in jars and a large plastic bin that was filled with what could be assumed with hay. On the other side of the divider was two separate enclosures one had a single brindle Peruvian guinea pig while the other side had two. One was a calico Teddy guinea pig and an all black one that looked like a mix of the other two.
The cute fur balls turned and started to wheek at the sight of newcomers in the room. Immediately they came up to the divider to place their little paws on it to lift themselves to get a better view.
"These I unfortunately cant let you pick up but this is their room. Ozzy is the long haired brindle all by himself and then there's the girls Rose and Elvira. The girls are currently ready to make babies and aren't used to being held and Ozzy tends to get mean when they do so that's why I cant let you all touch them. Maybe when they calm down later on in the week."
Ushering them back down stairs she brought them to the kitchen where she directed them to sit down on one side of the table while she went to the other. Staying standing she offered them anything to drink which they all refused. With drinks declined she went over to the island and grabbed a folder which she brought back with her.
"Sooo~, what do you guys think?"
"THIS PLACE IS AMAZING!" Blue spoke first almost jumping out of his seat.
"I Agree. This Place Will Be More Then Adequate." Edge spoke next.
Milord merely nodded agreeing with the other two.
"Awesome! Before we go over the paperwork Will you guys be staying together in a room, divide into two rooms or each get your own?" She asked pulling out three renters contracts.
Edge scoffed as if her question had offended him. "All Six Of Us Will Move In To Our Own Separate Rooms."
Saia dropped the pen she was trying to hand Blue. Six? Did he just say that there was six of them!? "I beg your pardon?"
Milord make a 'hmph' noise through his nose before answering for Edge. "OF COURSE MS. SAIA WE FORGOT TO MENTION THAT WE ARE ALSO LOOKING FOR ROOMS FOR EACH OF OUR BROTHERS AS WELL. WHEN WE HAPPENED TO FIND YOUR MODEST ADVERTISEMENT WE CAME TO LOOK FOR THEM BECAUSE IF WE SENT THEM OURSELVES WE WOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN IF THIS ESTABLISHMENT WAS ADEQUATE ENOUGH TO MEET OUR HIGH AND IMMACULATE STANDARDS. WE CANT TRUST THEM TO MEET OUR OWN."
"THATS RIGHT! EACH OF OUR BROTHERS WOULD HAVE CHOSEN A SLEEZY AND MOST UNSATISFACTORY FACILITY FOR US TO LIVE IN. I AM MOST GLAD WE CAME HERE OURSELVES." Blue chimed in with a happy tee-hee at the end.
"Oh. So then I guess I'm going to have a full house on the first try." Saia mumbled to herself.
"So It Seems." Edge took the paper and pen from her and proceeded to look over the five page contract.
"Well I guess since they aren't here is it ok if I leave their paperwork with you all to take? You can hand them back to me once you all move in."
"NONSENSE, WE WILL FILL THEM OUT FOR THEM. THEY WOULD NO DOUBT LOSE IT IN THE DUMP SITE THEY EACH CALL A ROOM." Milord explained reaching out for her to hand him his brother's papers. Both Edge and Blue agreed. Giving them a sigh she handed them the papers. Saia also made a mental note to have Hex work more indoors while they live here.
"Well then is there any questions you guys might have?" She asked after a few minutes of quiet that had washed over the kitchen while they went through the paperwork.
'ARE YOU SINGLE!?" Blue blurted out almost instantaneously. His hands were smacked on the table and it looked like he was going to lunge at her.
Saia instinctively flinched away but the shock of his blunt question had her words stuck in her throat.
"OF COURSE SHE IS YOU IDIOTIC NUMB SKULL! DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE A GODDESS LIKE HER WOULD BE CLAIMED BY ANY OF THESE REFUSE COVERED RUFFIANS WE HAVE SEEN MASQUERADING AROUND TOWN!? BESIDES YOU CAN SMELL SHE HASN'T BEEN CLAIMED YET." Milord yelled (louder) at Blue. Grabbing him by the collar he yanked him back into his chair.
Saia was sure as all hell that her face was on fire. Shit she wouldn't doubt it matched the same color of her hair. She honestly didn't know whether or not to be pleased for being called a goddess and that Blue had considered her pretty enough to date but then it got weird because they could actually tell that she was still a virgin by just her smell alone.
"Eh heh heh. Sooooo~... When should I expect ya'll to move in?" Saia asked awkwardly.
"Two Days From Now At The Most." Edge said giving her back the two completed contracts.
"Alright in that case I guess I'll give you the packets then." Opening the folder she brought out three envelopes and placed them in front of Edge. "Inside are your three's keys. One for the front gate, one for the house, and one for the shop. A door handle sign you can use to tell Hex if you want him to come clean your room or not. Green side for yes, red for no. A copy of simple house rules and the schedule for trash and recycle. And lastly a discount card for the bar."
"YOU HAVE A BAR HERE PET?" Milord asked.
"No its not here. I own a bar off the highway called Bronze Bullet. If I'm not here I'm over there making sure things are running like they should." Saia explained ignoring the nickname Milord gave her. "Speaking of you don't have to worry about the rent or deposit till the end of the month. That's what, next week I think? That way I can get both the money from the bar and rent at the same time rather than having it spread out throughout the month. It also lets ya'll get adjusted and settled in."
"Thank You Ms. Gomez. Well Then, If You Will Excuse Us We Will Take Our Leave. We Have Much To Prepare For Including Getting Our Good For Nothing Brothers Off They're Lazy Ass's." Edge stood placing the envelope in his inside suit pocket before reaching out to offer her a handshake.
Saia smiled. She got up and stepped closer to Edge to give him her hand to shake only to have it turned around so that his teeth could press against the back of it in a kiss. A tingle of magic ran up her arm causing her to involuntarily shiver.
A smug look played across Edge's face as he pulled back and gently released her hand. He didn't miss the blush she was trying to shove away.
"DO NOT WORRY PET WE WILL BE BACK. DO TRY NOT TO MISS US TO BADLY BEFORE WE RETURN." Milord said cockily.
Well there goes the mood. At least it got rid of her flushed face.
"YES MAIDEN! WE WILL BE BACK SOON AND WHEN WE DO WE CAN MAKE FRIENDSHIP TACOS!" Blue said happily.
Milord snapped his head over to his shorter friend. "NO! WE WILL HAVE A REAL SATISFYING MEAL OTHER THAN THOSE HORRID EXCUSE OF EDIBLE MATTER."
"BUT ARE BURRITOS REALLY NOT JUST PERFECTLY FOLDED TACOS THOUGH?" Blue asked scratching his head in thought. This caused Milord's brow bone to twitch in annoyance but thankfully before he could bark back at Blue Edge started to shove them towards the door.
"Enough. We Are Leaving, Besides We Will Be Making My Infamous Lasagna. Something That Is Far Superior Than Both Your Tacos And Burritos."
"Drive safe." Saia said as she followed them to the door and watched them load into a black BMW i8. Well they definitely got enough money. She thought to herself. When they rounded the drive way and left through the front gate she gave them a second or two before walking back in, closing the door behind her.
With a huff she untied her braid, fluffing it up so that it could come undone, and flopped herself onto one of the two recliners in the living room. Propping her feet up she pulled out the small blanket from the wicker basket next to it and covered herself.
"Alexa. Turn off the lights."