Chapter Two – First Lessons

"Have you met my friend Luna Lovegood?"

Ron thought for a minute. The name was familiar, but he wasn't sure why. "Wait a minute," he said. "Wait a minute, isn't she the one they call Loony?"

Ginny frowned and replied sharply, "Only prats and idiots call her that, so if that's what you're thinking, you can forget about my help with any of this!"

"No, no, no, I don't mean that, I'm just trying to figure out who she is. If I remember, she's in your year, blonde and pretty and in Ravenclaw, right? I don't know her, but if she's your friend, she's got to be ok. Do you think she might want to go to the Ball with me?"

'I'm pretty sure she'd love to go. Luna is the kind of girl that wants to experience any and every thing and I know she was disappointed that our year can't go without a date, especially so when I told her I was going with Neville. She'll love just the chance to go."

Ron smiled at his sister and stood to give her a hug. "Ok, then, thanks, that takes care of one thing." He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. "How about the other parts? Can I get your help getting the rest of my life out of the toilet?"

"Sure Ron, I'm your sister and I'll help. You can talk to me about anything and I can help you with your study habits and how to get along with everyone, even your best friends."

Ron gave a huge sigh of relief and sat back down. Ginny put down her bookbag and sat next to him. "Ok, for starters," she said, "you have to learn how to treat girls better. I see how you and Hermione get along and that won't work with anyone else. If you and Luna are going to get along, I need to teach you how girls want to be treated."

Ron grimaced and replied softly, "I figured that was the case. Until this year I had trouble even remembering Hermione was a girl. I can't make that mistake with Luna or anyone else."

"Ok, good, now, first lesson, when you talk to a girl, or are introduced to a girl, or Merlin forbid, you see your girlfriend, the first thing you do is compliment their appearance. Something like, 'you look nice' or 'your hair is pretty" or 'I like your dress' or something. Something positive."

"Okayyyy," said Ron hesitantly. "I've never done that with Hermione. Doesn't it sound phony?"

"If it sounds phony you're not doing it right, ok?"

"Ok, got it. What else?"

"Girls like to talk about themselves and love when boys listen and are interested in what they have to say, so ask some questions like 'what's your favorite class?' or 'what do you do for fun?' or 'what were you like growing up?' or anything. Never ask yes/no questions, always ask questions that need a long answer. An example is never ask 'do you like potions?' instead ask 'what are you studying in potions and how is it?' Ok? And be sure to be interested in what they say, no matter what, even if it's Hermione talking about S.P.E.W. You have to listen."

"Bloody hell, girls are complicated."

"That's another thing, cut out the cursing. Girls see it as a lack of respect. Girls want to be respected and treated like queens. We want boys to act like gentlemen, you know, like opening doors or carrying our books, or getting us drinks at the Three Broomsticks, or stuff like that, sometimes even when we say we don't. We also want to feel safe and secure and protected when we are with someone. You don't have to go full 'knight in shining armor', but we do like when boys stand up for us."

"Uhh, ok."

"One more thing, your table manners are atrocious and a real put off. No one wants to watch you talk with your mouth full or see you inhale your food. It's not like at The Burrow where you had to compete with the twins, at Hogwarts there's plenty of food so slow down and try not to be gross when you eat.

"That bad, am I?" asked Ron with his ears and now his cheeks going pink. "Is it really that bad?"

"No, it's worse. So stop and stop now."

"Uh, I guess I'll have to try."

"Do you think you can do all that with Luna? Remember to compliment her appearance, talk to her and be interested in what she's saying no matter what, act like a gentlemen around her, make her feel safe as well as to try and eat like a normal person and not a Neanderthal?"

Ron closed his eyes for a minute then looked up at his sister, "It's a lot to remember, but I hope so, and I hope you can help me when I forget."

"No worries, Ron, I'll help, but know this, once you start being like this, it gets easier and becomes more natural. Learn how to act this way and who knows maybe you and Hermione will finally get together."

"Wha.. wha… what?" sputtered Ron. "What are you talking about?'

"Your secret is safe with me, Ronnie, but it seems everyone except you two realize that you fancy each other."

"I don't know about that, but thanks for the lessons. I've got to write this stuff down before I forget. Oh, one last thing. Does this apply to girlfriend and girls on dates or is this for all girls?"

Ginny stood up and headed for the girls dorm. "I hope it applies to all girls, but one step at a time. Some of it even applies to everybody you run into. I'll see you at breakfast in the morning and introduce you to Luna. I hope to see you show me how much you've learned when you meet her. Good night Ronnie."

"Night, Gin and thanks again."

Ron took his quill and a fresh piece of parchment and wrote down the following:

1.Compliment appearance when first seeing

2.Ask questions about them and listen to answers. No yes/no questions

3.Stop cursing and act like a gentlemen

4.Make her feel safe and protected. Stand up for her when needed.

5.Slow down and eat more civilized

6.This is for all girls, maybe even everyone?

Just as Ron finished, the portrait door opened and his other best friend came climbing through. Ron looked up at Harry as he folded up his parchment and put it in his pocket.

"Where've you been all night Harry? You look beat."

"Dumbledore," is all he said as he watched Ron put his note away.

"You can't talk about it can you, mate? I wish I could help. I was just heading up. You coming?"

"Yeah, I suppose. What'cha put in your pocket there? You don't normally put parchment in your pocket."

Ron's hesitated as he pondered what to say. "Promise you won't laugh?"

"Promise. What is it?"

"Believe it or not, it's some advice Ginny gave me on how to act with girls. I realized tonight that my life is the shits with no date to the Ball, my studies below par and not really having any friends except you and Hermione and you've both been gone a lot and it sucks to sit here by myself, so I asked Ginny for help and she gave me some advice and I wrote it down so I don't forget."

"Oh wow, I could probably use the help too. I still don't have a date to the Ball and I'm really not sure what to do."

"That's the best part, mate!" Ron exclaimed as he stood up and clapped his hands on Harry's shoulders. She's going to set me up with one of her friends to be my date to the Ball. She's going to introduce us tomorrow morning at breakfast."

Ron pulled out his notes and showed them to Harry. "This is the advice she gave me so that I'll do ok by Luna as my date."

"Luna?" replied Harry. "Isn't she the one they call Loony in Ravenclaw?"

"Ok, Harry, knock that off. See rule number 4? Please don't call her that, her name is Luna Lovegood and I expect her to say yes when I ask her to the Ball tomorrow."

Harry's eyes went wide open at Ron's rebuff. "Ok, sorry, I promise not to insult your girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" replied Ron with a gleam in his eye and a grin on his face. "I don't know about that yet, but we'll see, we'll see."