Chapter 2

"Shit!" John grunts, when Sherlock suddenly starts to flail. He tries to pin him in place but Sherlock struggles to free himself and remove the lozenge from his mouth.

"Hey, don't freak out. I know fentanyl is not a good choice but it is better than the immense pain you are in," John utters. Sherlock's resistance is so fierce, the doctor has problems keeping the painkiller disguised as candy in his mouth. John tries to hold it in place while simultaneously preventing his friend from moving around.

John's mind is racing and he is puzzled about what caused the onset of Sherlock's distress.

The obvious injuries are clearly a broken clavicle, a dislocated knee and a horrendous amount of bruises. But John had been very careful not to jostled any of those injuries.

"Sherlock, talk to me. Where does it hurt?"

It gets worse; John has a hard time to keep him immobile. No matter how John tries to make him voice his immediate problem, Sherlock only whimpers and flails.

When John lets go of Sherlock's face, his friend opens his mouth and pants. A second later, he starts to scream and it catches John off guard. He almost fails to catch the lozenge that falls out of Sherlock's mouth. At the last moment but he manages to grab it and places it on the wrapping lying next to them. The screams might alert their attackers and John hopes they won't come back to finish their job. He needs to hurry.

"Hey. What is going on?" John tries, but the only response is more vigorous resistance. Among all the movement and Sherlock's hands trying to bat him away, John tries to get a hold of his wrist to monitor his pulse. It's fast, way too fast.

"Sherlock? Can you hear me?"

Clearly, Sherlock is conscious, albeit no longer mentally present, doesn't react to anything John is doing.

It hits John like a fright train.

A flashback!

Sherlock had been diagnosed with PTSD after his return to London. His time hunting down Moriarty's web has left him with a gruesome lot of mental scars they were still trying to get the hang of.* The problem was that Sherlock doesn't react to things that distress him the way neurotypical patients do. And professional assessments are based on patient's reactions to distress. So instead of showing the typical signs, Sherlock withdraws and shuts down communication, which means his issues often go unnoticed. Although John has understood that and it is no longer an issue in their relationship, they are still struggling to find a resolution when working with medical personnel.

Overall, after Sherlock started EMDR therapy things got better and John leaned a lot about his best friend's psyche. The good thing was, Sherlock hasn't had an episode like this in months.

Another thought occurs to John. Withdrawing and masking are certainly one aspect of Sherlock's two ways of reacting to emotional turmoil. But according to Mycroft there is also the possibility of a meltdown, which John has never witnessed. Apparently, it doesn't happen often.

Staring at his friend, John tries to gather more information, to distinguish between the two. From the outside and without Sherlock providing clues, it is hard to differentiate, especially since one can be a result of the other. While he monitors his friend's pulse his thoughts are running; he can do little else at the moment.

Something specific had caused this. Either the pain or something John did. Sherlock freaked out the moment John placed the oromucosal lozenge in his mouth. His friend's sensitivities to tastes and textures in his oral cavity are something they struggle with on a regular basis. Unfortunately, Sherlock's neuroatypical issues heighten the impact of traumatic triggers and the pain probably makes that more prevalent. Additionally, it is a challenge to separate if he avoids something because of a traumatic memory or because it overwhelms his senses. Sherlock's inability to voice what he experiences makes it so much harder to figure out what is going on. John has made the observation that in uncertain situations, Sherlock seems to endures what is required - without knowing how he feels about it. That usually has dire consequences.

Nevertheless, John concludes this has more similarities with a flashback than with how Mycroft described a meltdown.

Jesus. They just found another trigger.

It once more brought home what Sherlock must have endured during his 'hiatus'. Sherlock had been kind of jittery the past two days, seemed bugged by his sensory issues. Only this morning, John asked him what was going on, but as usual, Sherlock was unable to recognise the cause of his discomfort. In their current situation the sensory input is probably making the pain worse. Intense perception is a bitch when it comes to physical impairments. One reason why John had chosen to risk giving Sherlock the fentanyl in the first place.

But they have no time for this now. Sherlock needs medical care - ASAP, which means John has to make a decision. Leave Sherlock and bring the car closer would spare them walking an unnecessary distance. But leaving his friend alone in this state is not a good option.

He has no choice, time is of the essence. Sherlock's phone was crushed in his fall and John left his own phone at home because the battery was empty, he had forgotten to charge it last night. Instead, he relies on the spare one he had bought on eBay a few weeks ago and installed in the car for emergencies.

He waits and monitors the perimeter for any sign of their perpetrators. It doesn't take long for Sherlock to run out of energy. The moment he flags and John has his hands free, he checks his friends respiration, then pulls the keys from his pocket.

"Alright. Back in a minute." John dashes back to the waterplant's parking lot.

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* Reference to events that happen in my story 'Define Vulnerability'

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Many thanks to sgam76 who helped me with the medical stuff.

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