chapter II

Was this Remus having his own apocalyptic crisis? It felt pathetic to find himself in such a situation, especially after promising he would stay sane.

How did he even end up here, driving in silence next to a random person with a name as weird as his?

He'd been driving for about an hour. Not a single word had been uttered since they left the bus station. Was he even fit to drive? He had drunk some alcohol. It's not like anyone would check on him for drunk driving, but it still made him queasy. However, he was so tense that the alcohol had cleared from his mind.

None of this had been thought through. It was dark outside. At some point, they would have to find somewhere to rest. Well, there was much to be discussed, but Remus didn't feel like breaking the silence.

The only thing that helped him take his mind off the issues surrounding this was the radio. But it's not like radio shows were functioning normally. The only ones available were either dramatic in a violinists-at-the-Titanic sort of way or about updates on the traffic and dangers around the city.

With little to choose from, Remus accepted the traffic reports.

"It seems there has been a riot at the East End. Reports from listeners say the damage was akin to that of any other riot in the region. Stores were broken into, apartments invaded, and crimes committed. If you're in that region, the best thing to do is to stay at home and lock the doors."

"The traffic in the Greater London region is normal along the M25, with some traffic near Slough. As of now, there are no signs of greater disruption around the city. Stay tuned for updates. This is 90.03."

The radio station went back to playing their annoying holding music. Remus turned it off. Complete silence was a better option.

At least one thing remained normal during these times: the traffic. Perhaps if he closed his eyes, he could pretend it was all normal.

"Even in death, the M25 is a pain in the arse," he said mindlessly, even forgetting someone was sitting next to him.

"Is it?" Sirius asked, making Remus jump up a bit.

"Jesus," he reacted. "Forgot you were even there."

"I don't know how one could forget about my presence," Sirius shrugged and turned his head to stare out the window again. Remus fought the urge to roll his eyes at the cockiness.

"Get the map in the glove box, will you?" Remus asked while looking ahead at the cars in front of them. There must be some exit close by.

Sirius did as he was told, pulling out a thick yellowed page book.

"Isn't it weird? To have this much traffic in the middle of the night?" Sirius observed.

"Not after our 'last hope' failed, I suppose. Everyone's scrambling to get where they want to."

"Oh. Right, it makes sense."

Why did he always seem to have no idea of what was going on? Remus was starting to get worried about having to break the news of their inevitable demise to him. It was sketchy, to say the least.

"Isn't that your case?" Remus arched an eyebrow and looked at him, who averted his gaze.

"Yes. Sort of."

The same air of insecurity could be observed in that answer. Remus waited for an explanation of what he meant, but it never came.

"See if there's a near exit we could take," he pointed at the map.

Sirius skimmed the pages for a couple of minutes, Remus kept glancing at him from the corner of his eye as he drove slowly.

"Have you found anything yet?"

"Uh… no, not really," he answered with furrowed brows.

That man looked at that map as if he had never opened one in his life.

"Wait, I think I got something," his eyes widened in excitement. "Turn left at Slough Road and then right on Bangors Road North. I think it would help to avoid traffic."

Remus thought about it for a couple of seconds, "Fine. But if I get murdered driving in the middle of nowhere, it's on you."

Sirius ignored his comment completely, clearly satisfied with his performance.

Once the sign pointing towards Slough Road appeared, he turned left. A long road full of middle-class houses replaced the busy M25 scenery after some time.

"Warn me when you see the sign for Bangors Road North," Remus saw Sirius nod from the corner of his eye.

He continued to drive in the calming silence. At least the road had many fewer cars. Remus couldn't help but skim his eyes through the scenery of houses. It involuntarily brought him back to better days,—what it was like growing up. It all had left a bittersweet taste in his mouth, but he wasn't sure if the end of the world had anything to do with that.

He almost jumped up again when Sirius disrupted the silence.

"Remus is an odd name."

"You could say the same thing about Sirius," he answered a bit snarkily.

"Are your parents Italian?" Sirius asked, not minding his tone whatsoever.

"What? No."

"Then why were you named after Rome's founding myth?"

Remus ignored how odd the question was and thought about it for a second, "To be honest, I don't know."

"Do you have a brother named Romulus?"

"You're awfully curious," he observed. "But no, I don't."

Sirius knew nothing about transport, maps, or the current state of the world. But he sure seemed keen on discussing Roman mythology. Go figure.

"I wish London had a myth like that..." he said thoughtfully, more to himself than to Remus, while looking out the window.

Remus reminded himself that didn't want to get to know Sirius. He had lied through his arse and ended up here; he wasn't about to create an entire backstory to make his presence plausible. He had no interest in making conversation, even though his passenger was odd in ways that definitely made him wonder.

"Why Sirius, then? Where does that come from?" he just couldn't help himself.

"It's the brightest star in the sky," he explained in a monotone tone, all the bite and sharpness suddenly gone.

It caught Remus by surprise. He couldn't help but snort while glancing at Sirius, who eyed him curiously.

After a beat, Sirius shook whatever thoughts he'd had out of his head and opened a smile. "My family has a tradition of naming their children after constellations, stars, galaxies..." he explained.

"Do you have a brother named Milky Way?"

Sirius' smile fell a little. "No, his name is Regulus. It's a star, too."

He didn't seem as keen on making conversation anymore. Apparently, it was a sore subject, but Remus wasn't planning on asking about it.

The conversation reverberated in Remus' head for some time, especially because they didn't talk about anything else after that. The atmosphere wasn't tense, though. Just silent. Though with a few breaks where Sirius told him to take a left or right.

Time passed as a bit of a blur. The same view outside wasn't helping him to keep track of time. His hands even started cramping around the steering wheel. This all still felt like a fever dream.

Sirius spent most of the time looking out the window in deep concentration while gripping his beloved bag. Remus chose not to comment on it. He was too tired to get into that conversation, especially with this complete stranger.

He could not believe his eyes when he noticed the sun was starting to rise in the sky.

"How much time has passed?" He mumbled mindlessly.

Sirius turned to him and said after a beat, "Not that much. Probably around three hours."

"Right."

By now, they were back on a motorway. At least this time there were fewer cars, and they managed to move more freely.

The sun was barely up the moment Remus started noticing something quite odd about the car, a sound that became louder by the second. His blood went cold, and he was jerked awake.

"Oh, no. Shit," he reacted as the vehicle started taking its last breaths right in the middle of the motorway. "You have to be joking. This can't be happening."

The car started slowing down, and Remus struggled to get it to the side of the road, where it finally came to a full stop.

Remus sighed loudly and hit the steering wheel with his forehead in defeat, resting his face against it while he tried not to have a burst of anger.

"So we're out of petrol?" Sirius asked calmly.

"What does it look like?" He asked annoyed, voice muffled by his position.

"Shit driving? I don't know." He couldn't even tell if Sirius was joking or not.

"Shut up, I'm a great driver!"

Remus counted to ten to regain his breath and lifted his face off the steering wheel. He glanced at the passenger who looked at him as if analysing a timing bomb.

"I can't believe this," Remus said. "I don't even know why I got myself into this situation."

"It's just a tiny diversion, we'll fix it," Sirius tried to reason.

"We're in the middle of nowhere, " Remus looked around the scenery, which now contained a whole lot of nothing, just a long road and fields of grass, maybe some cattle here and there. "I'm with someone I don't even know! God knows if there's a gun,—or a knife in that bag of yours. If this is how I meet my end, then so be it. I'm done."

Sirius looked at him with the same expression of confusion and worry until his lips twitched upwards and he started laughing at him. Remus furrowed his brows in indignation.

"You—you're so dramatic," Sirius said in between laughs.

"Shut up..."

"If it means anything, I promise I don't plan on killing you," Sirius raised his hands in surrender. He had stopped laughing, but a smile was still plastered on his face.

Remus rolled his eyes, "If you do kill me, at least do it in a more dignified way. Don't leave my cold dead body next to the cows."

"I promise." Sirius traced a cross above his heart. "Perhaps next to the horses?"

He had a sincere smile on his face, still chuckling a bit. It seemed as though Remus' serious expression just made him want to burst out laughing.

"How did I even end up here?..." he asked himself while looking around through the windshield. "What do I do?"

"There's probably some petrol station a few miles ahead, I read somewhere that they should always be at least ten miles apart."

"You took that information out of your arse," Remus snarled, then sighed in defeat when Sirius started trying to defend his statement. "And when did you last see one?"

Sirius tilted his head as he searched his mind, "Uh... I don't remember."

"Great."

"Don't worry! If I don't remember, it means it was probably a long time ago, right? So we'll just walk for a bit and find it. It'll be fine."

Remus looked at him and sighed, "Are there other options?"

"Not really."

"Okay. We'll walk."

He definitely did not sign up for this, but there he was, flinging the car door open and getting up from the car. His legs were sore, so he took some time to stretch out his limbs.

Then an urgent thought occurred to him. In one swift move, he leaned back into the car to grab the one thing he didn't feel ready to leave behind, an unlabelled, overplayed, simple tape. He put it in his trousers' pocket discreetly.

The road was still deserted, not another car in sight. Time didn't feel real under these circumstances, everything was odd at best and still seemed like a dream. Remus wishes he could wake up from it.

He shut his eyes and breathed in the crisp air of the morning, exhaling with ease.

"Alright." Remus clasped his hands together and began walking forward.

Sirius followed him with the stare of confusion that seemed to always be attached to his face. He had the bag propped on his shoulder; it was probably quite uncomfortable to carry it due to its weight.

Walking aimlessly at the side of the road at this time in the morning had never been on Remus' plans. Had he been on his right mind the day prior, he would be sleeping soundly in his bed without a care in the world. He'd even go to work and spend another day listening to people's complaints, just like any other day.

Perhaps Dorcas had put something in his drinks, maybe hallucinogens. Remus wasn't one to have a spur-of-the-moment idea and actually go through with it. He couldn't quite put his finger on why he had accepted it yet.

To say that he was starting to regret was putting it lightly. But now he couldn't even kick Sirius out and drive back home,—not without his car!

And he wasn't completely heartless either, he didn't actually want to kick Sirius out in the middle of the road. When they got enough petrol, he could drop him off in a town such as Oxford. It wouldn't be too hard for him to get to Edinburgh from there.

Yes, that was a good plan. Everyone would come out unscathed, Remus could forget about this ridiculous thing and drive back home as if nothing had ever happened.

The idea pleased him, and he found himself smiling softly while staring at his feet as he walked alongside Sirius.

"Thinking of your boyfriend?" A voice pulled him away from his thoughts.

"Wha—? Oh. Yes. Exactly." He tried to sound not too taken aback by the question.

"Is he Scottish?"

"No," Remus answered simply.

Sirius walked in a suave manner with both hands in his trousers' pockets, as if he was coming out of a rock concert. Even the way he stepped was to get attention. Different but unassuming, and yet very calculated. Remus had never met anyone quite like him, he looked like he had just walked out of a cover of a magazine.

In comparison, Remus probably looked like a History teacher at best.

"What's his name?"

"You're awfully curious," Remus glanced at him from the corner of his eyes.

Sirius looked down at his own feet again, it seemed that behind his smirks and sharp answers; he was starting to get genuinely bothered by Remus' hostility. An unexpected pang hit Remus' chest. Maybe he was being a little too rude.

"It's Gideon," he said, tilting his head.

Sirius looked at him again and nodded, "Cool."

For the first time in the journey, he reached for his bag and opened it ever so slightly. Remus wasn't able to see anything but the pack of cigarettes that jumped out just as he opened the zipper.

Sirius opened the pack and pulled one out. He then glanced at Remus, who was caught staring. He cocked one eyebrow and motioned towards the box, offering one. Reluctantly, Remus nodded and fished one out.

Before he could notice it, a lighter was dangerously close to his face, he flinched back slightly, but then came forward to light the cigarette that was now between his lips. The sudden proximity to Sirius' hands made him feel nervous.

He breathed in deeply, then exhaled and let the smoke through. Sirius lowered his hands and everything was back to normal,—or as normal as it could possibly be.

"Thanks," Remus mumbled. He saw Sirius nod from the corner of his eyes.

They continued walking in silence while smoking.

He once worried about lung cancer. Now he could smoke fifty packs a day and it would make absolutely no difference. There is always an upside to things, huh?

He wished he could smoke fifty packs of whatever brand Sirius bought his cigarettes from; they were definitely good quality, a long way from the cheap ones that made him cough like a tuberculosis patient in 1850.

The scenery hardly ever changed, which made Remus become increasingly worried about their chances of actually finding a petrol station or even anything that could help. Uneasiness grew on him as time passed, and without even noticing it, he began walking faster, leaving Sirius behind.

He got increasingly anxious at the thought of ending up lost with a stranger, of not being able to go back home. He breathed in deeply as his thoughts ringed in his ears, sweat starting to form on his lower back.

"Remus!" A faint voice called behind him.

He paid it no mind and continued walking. There had to be something nearby, someone.

"Remus!" Then a hand came to rest on his shoulder, holding him back. "Are you okay?"

Sirius had a concerned look on his face, Remus stood facing him while trying to regain his breath. He hadn't noticed he'd been gasping for air by then. He even had to support himself by putting his hands above his knees.

"Yes," he answered in between gulps of air. "I just… sorry."

Sirius frowned. He was so expressive, Remus could see everything that went through his mind. If he really was a normal person, he was probably doubting his choice of a partner in this journey, perhaps thinking he had scored a lunatic.

Remus got out of breath so easily, it was probably ridiculous in Sirius' eyes.

"Don't worry about it..." Sirius' eyes trailed away, looking ahead. They widened and his look of worry changed to one of surprise, "Wait,—look! We got somewhere."

Remus looked at where he referred to, "A Little Chef?"

Where once was a quaint house, now stood a roadside restaurant with big red letters to display the name and equally coloured windows and doors.

"Have you been there?" Sirius asked while still staring at it all hopeful.

"It's a chain," Remus explained.

"Oh," Sirius muttered distractedly. "Let's go, I'm hungry."

He left Remus to his own devices and walked in a fast-paced manner towards the restaurant in the distance. He hadn't had the time to tell him that they would probably be closed. Who in their right mind would be working at a Little Chef a few days before their untimely death?

Remus walked slowly but surely, observing Sirius from a distance. He could appreciate the way the man could keep an upbeat mood at the toughest times.

He observed Sirius get to the house and eagerly look through the windows. His head snapped back to look at Remus and he waved his arms.

"They're open!" He shouted from afar, waiting for Remus to catch up. "Walk faster, old man!"

An involuntary chuckle escaped Remus' lips at the insult. He didn't change his pace whatsoever.

"Why the fuck are they open?" He asked once he stood by Sirius' side, looking at the restaurant from the outside.

He could observe a few employers on the inside and even a few customers. It was a strange scene to witness.

Sirius shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe they want to die selling roadside food, to each their own."

Remus only noticed he stood by himself once he saw Sirius walking into the establishment through the window. This man could be so trusting…

He followed him and entered the restaurant, the opening of the door making the bells atop it introduce his entrance to just about everyone. Sirius leaned against a station while talking and making eyes at a waitress in a suave manner Remus could never reproduce.

Sirius turned his head as the bells rang, flashing Remus a smile as he approached them.

"Remus, I was just asking Samantha here if there's a petrol station nearby."

The waitress observed Sirius with a smile. He had been clearly making her flustered before Remus entered the scene. Of course he was a flirt, how on-brand.

"Oh, okay," he answered. They glanced at her, who seemed a little taken aback by the sudden attention, cheeks burning crimson.

"The closest one is probably around five miles from here," she said with a smile. Sirius' head shot up to look at Remus, wearing a convinced smile with an arched eyebrow. Once again, he fought the urge to roll his eyes. "However, I don't think they'll have enough petrol or even be open,—nothing is in a 30-mile radius," she laughed loudly, which earned a confused frown from both of them.

"Nothing?" Remus asked, confused.

She laughed even harder, throwing her head back, "Yep."

Sirius glanced at him in a quizzical manner.

"Do you mind if I ask you why you are working here? Why is anyone, for that matter?" Remus asked.

She could barely keep her eyes open as she laughed hysterically at them.

A man wearing a uniform similar to her suddenly interrupted their conversation. He approached her, throwing an arm around her shoulders, smiling just as hard.

They were hit by a strong smell that explained everything and made Remus scrunch up his nose.

"I think Samantha's had enough," he said apologetically. "What's so funny?" He chuckled, observing her.

"He… he asked… why we're here," she managed to blurt out in between laughs.

"Oh, that is funny," the man answered.

"Why?" Sirius asked.

"Because why wouldn't we be here? Isn't it great,—to go as you went? Having fun while helping people such as yourselves?" The man gesticulated greatly as he spoke. The waitress was clinging on to him for dear life at this point. Her head rested against his shoulder,—she hadn't stopped laughing.

Remus' eyebrows knitted closer as he tried to make sense of what the man had said. "Right..."

"Seat wherever," he gesticulated lazily towards the tables.

"Uh… okay."

The man turned all of his attention back to the waitress and left them to fend for themselves.

Remus sneaked a look at Sirius, who at least found this all strange, but also curious. He could be a bit like a child sometimes, discovering the truths of the world as things unfolded before his eyes. It bothered Remus; it was strange.

The other customers looked normal enough, a few truck drivers and a few other people scattered around the place. It would have given him an odd sense of normalcy if it wasn't for the weed in the air.

He took a few steps towards a table near a window before Sirius called beside him with pleading eyes, "No, let's sit in a booth!"

Remus had to fight the urge to roll his eyes as he sat in the definitely too red booth. He reminded himself that it would all be over soon, he'd be back at his apartment in no time.

"I would like the fruit cocktail with ice cream, the ham and egg double-decker, and some tea, please," Sirius handed the menu back to the waitress, who had finally calmed down enough to take their order.

There were other servers around, Remus was suspicious of the fact that she probably went out of her way to serve Sirius' table.

She smiled wildly while taking notes, "Great choice, sir."

"You're going to eat all that?" Remus asked.

"Yep." Sirius beamed at him.

He sighed and decided not to ask any questions. So be it.

"I'll have the ham and cheese sandwich and hot chocolate, please," Remus said.

"Alright," she said in a singsong way, "I'll be right back."

She went away on roller skates. At this point, Remus considered it completely normal.

"Working here seems fun," Sirius said as he looked around.

"Is anything fun these days?"

Remus didn't always mean to be gloomy. Sometimes it just happened.

"Speak for yourself, I'm having the time of my life," he smiled while looking into the distance.

Remus turned his head to where he was looking and saw a couple of servers now engaging in some dancing next to the jukebox. A huffed a laugh at the scene.

He couldn't judge these people for coming into work. He'd been doing the exact same thing,—even worse, he hadn't been having any fun. They were planning on dying the same way he had: by their own rules. The difference was that they seemed to have way much more fun than he ever did in that office.

It made him reflect upon his choices for a second. Thankfully, he didn't have much time to do so since Sirius quickly went back to talking.

"What will we do about the petrol issue?" He asked.

"That's a great question," Remus said thoughtfully. "I have no idea."

The stress of the situation was starting to get to him again. How the fuck would he get home under these circumstances?

"Shit," Sirius said.

"Shit."

The waitress came back with their food, putting each plate before them. Her hair was up but messy, she didn't seem to mind it as she wore an even bigger smile than the previous. Her red eyes were also noticeable.

"Enjoy!" She said before reaching a hand to caress Sirius' cheek for half a second before strolling away.

Remus looked down at his food and frowned thoughtfully, "What are the chances of there being drugs in the food?"

"High," Sirius answered before taking a huge bite from his food. Remus suppressed a chuckle.

He was pretty hungry, so drugs or not, he began eating the food.

"You have quite the effect on them, don't you?" Remus asked.

"On whom?" Sirius had his mouth full.

"Women."

"Oh. Do you think so?"

"Do I think so?" He repeated. "That waitress walked out of here swooning."

"Maybe it's just my natural charm," Sirius raised an eyebrow. He looked around the room, eyes settling on the waitress.

Remus diverted his gaze to her as well, seeing her giggling with another member of the staff and sneaking glances at their table.

He scoffed, "You love it, don't you?"

"My natural charm and likeability? Of course," Sirius smiled triumphantly.

"The attention."

Sirius shrugged, smile faltering a little, "I just find it fun."

Remus decided to leave it at that as he turned his attention to the amount of food Sirius had ordered. He didn't seem to be able to make a choice about what to eat first, taking bits and pieces from everywhere.

Sirius didn't give it a second thought and went back to enjoying his meal in silence.

Remus wasn't warming up to his travelling partner or anything of the sort, but he had to give credit where it's due: Sirius was incredibly handsome. In a way that didn't even seem all too real, sort of like a model… definitely the type of face one would see on a fashion ad. But there was a unique edge to it. His delicate features, such as his blue eyes and soft complexion, came in contrast to the sharp angles of his face. It was regal, to put it simply.

It was obvious someone like him would love to spend his days flirting with people he didn't really think twice about. It's cliché, even.

Remus hadn't been checking him out. He was just stating facts in his head. He didn't want Sirius to get the wrong idea.—Not that he would have noticed anyone obviously checking him out given his obliviousness to things.

"Is there food on my face?" Sirius asked innocently. It startled Remus to have been caught staring.

"Uh. No, sorry. I just spaced out for a bit," he explained nervously. "You better not throw up at the car," he changed the subject swiftly.

"I won't regurgitate," Sirius said with his eyebrows knitted together. "This is simply my fuel."

Remus cocked an eyebrow, though Sirius didn't even look at him as he had his eyes glued on his plates.

Once they were finished, a waiter came rolling back, even doing a little dance to the disco that played in the background. Maybe if Remus' idea of happiness was dancing to ABBA on roller skates before dying, he'd be a lot happier at that moment.

"Enjoy the food?" He asked sympathetically while balancing the platter he held with one hand.

"It was divine," Sirius said with a genuine smile, looking up at him.

The waiter leaned forward to take his plates. However, as he was leaning, he turned his head to look at Sirius from up close. There was a moment of suspended silence as Sirius became incredibly flustered while staring back at the man, who just smirked and pulled away with the empty plates in hand.

It was a moment of tension Remus recognised all too well.

Sirius had clearly noticed the flirting time, being obviously affected by it. He avoided looking anyone in the eye, keeping his head down while blushing furiously.

"Where are you two going, if you don't mind me asking?" The charming waiter said, eyes glued on Sirius.

"Uh. We… we were planning on Edinburgh…?" Sirius' answer sounded more like a question, but the man wasn't struck by it, smile widening.

A wave of understanding washed over Remus, he knew exactly what it was like to be in that situation of discomfort with his own sexuality. Perhaps he was starting to get Sirius.

"Are you Scottish?"

"No," Sirius finally had the guts to look at the man, losing his track of thought for a moment. "Uh… my family's there."

"A girlfriend?" The waiter cocked an eyebrow and stood relaxed, leaning against the booth on Sirius' side.

Sirius laughed uncomfortably and avoided the man's gaze nervously. "No. Nothing like that."

The answer made him smile even more, "And how will you get to Edinburgh?"

That man was annoyingly curious, wasn't he?

"That seems to be the issue," Remus interjected. "We're out of petrol."

"What are you all talking about?" the bubbly waitress by the name of Samantha came back and leaned against the waiter. This restaurant was a picture of unprofessionalism.

"They don't have a way of getting to Edinburgh," he explained.

She gasped, "Edinburgh! I'm going to Liverpool! I can drop you off in Manchester!"

"Really?" Sirius asked with sudden hope.

"Yes! Oh, it's going to be so much fun!"

Remus felt like the only sane person around. He would not trust this girl driving him anywhere. He could picture a dozen different horrible accidents.

Not only that, but now he'd lost his chance of making it back home with his car safely. Manchester wasn't a bad pick, though. He could make it there in one piece and perhaps even manage to get back home, depending on the kindness of someone he hadn't seen in years, the only person he had left in his hometown.

"Remus?" Sirius stared at him, expecting an answer.

"Oh. Um… Are you sure about that?" He asked the girl.

"Am I sure? Pfft—I love to have company whilst driving! It'll be fun."

Remus sighed in defeat.

"Oh, God," was what left Remus' mouth once he saw Samantha's 1980 pink Ford Fiesta parked at the back of the restaurant. "That's… a cool colour".

"Right?" She proudly stood next to it, definitely matching the aesthetic.

His eyes involuntarily found Sirius', who finally seemed to find this situation a little risque once he saw how beat-up the poor car was. They exchanged a knowing look of desperation.

She got her suitcase and opened the trunk, which gave them some form of privacy.

"Listen," Sirius stepped closer to him and whispered, "Manchester is only a couple of hours away at best."

"It better be," Remus whispered back.

They glanced back at Samantha, taking in her out-of-shift appearance. Her blonde hair was now loose, falling past her shoulders despite the knots it had. She wore a lime green mini skirt with a cropped tee and chunky sneakers.

On the way to the parking lot, she kept tripping, which Remus was quite sure wasn't due to the size of her shoes.

"You drive," Sirius said quietly.

"What? No, you drive."

There was no way in hell he'd drive again after so many hours of restlessness.

"But—"

"You already made me lose my car!" Remus pointed a finger at him.

"Oh, cry me a river."

"Uh, Samantha?" Remus called her, a sweet fake smile on his face. Her head appeared from behind the trunk. "You've worked so hard all day long… Sirius here thought he could drive and let you rest for a bit."

"Oh! That's so lovely!" She closed the trunk and came forward to meet them. "You really are a sweetheart." She pinched his cheek while biting her lip discreetly.

Samantha was fit, but she was barking up the wrong tree.

Remus snorted, Sirius sent him an angry look when Samantha wasn't looking anymore.

"Let's hit the road, then," Sirius announced in a monotone tone, earning an excited cheer from her.

The upset from their organisation was that Remus ended up going on the backseat of the car. At least he'd have some space to rest for a bit. Driving all night had left him completely knackered.

For the first half-hour of their trip, Samantha practically didn't stop to breathe as she went on and on about whatever subject went across her mind. Sirius showed great patience by pretending to find it interesting. Sometimes he shot Remus a look through the rear-view window, which he blissfully ignored, not making a single comment to.

However, after that, she simply stopped talking and fell into a deep slumber. What had she even taken?

Soon enough, Remus felt his own eyelids getting heavier.

The rumbling of the car jerked him awake.

"Sorry," a voice ahead said, "I'm not the greatest driver."

"Are we there yet?" Remus asked, voice rough from sleep and hand against his face.

"No."

He sat up properly, looking around to see that nothing had changed,—be it in the scenery or the car. Samantha still slept deeply, and Sirius still drove.

The car kept swaying, though.

"Keep driving like that and your fruit cocktail ice cream will make a comeback," Remus said, still trying to wake up properly.

"The fruit cocktail ice cream is still very well settled inside of me, thank you."

"It better be, or else all your charm will lose its effects on her," Remus noted.

"It would take a little more than that, I think."

"You're so convinced," Remus scoffed.

"Years of experience, Remu."

"Don't you ever call me that," he said, failing at sound even remotely threatening.

"What? Remu?" Sirius asked with faux obliviousness.

"Shut up," he mumbled. "Either way, good thing it's her and not that waiter here." He was pushing it, perhaps to be a little bothersome, to pull on Sirius' pigtails.

Sirius shot him a look through the mirror, for sure a tense one.

"I don't know what you're referring to," he said, the bite to his remarks lost. Remus decided not to push it this time, only holding his gaze for a couple of seconds until turning his head to look through the window.

They spent a few minutes in silence, the only sound from inside of the car was Samantha's light snoring. Good thing they went with her, or else she would have probably fallen asleep while driving by the looks of her very deep slumber.

"I thought you'd get angrier about the car, but you haven't said anything too..." Sirius looked for the right word.

"Angry? Wrathful? Outraged?" Remus completed.

"Precisely."

He could practically hear Sirius' smirk in his voice.

He sighed, "It was a shit car, anyway..."

"You won't have to go to work anymore, right? Since you'll be in Edinburgh."

"Yep." Remus wasn't a very good liar. "My boyfriend has a car there, so it's fine."

Remus had a line of thinking that valued quantity over quality when it came to his lies, which meant he liked to add details so things would sound more real. However, he rarely thought them through, which resulted in him getting lost in his web of lies. He had a feeling the one he just told wouldn't end well.

"How much does he love you?" He asked in a playful tone. Thankfully, he continued speaking before Remus had to offer an answer, "Because since we're going to have to sort of hitchhike our way there, he could perhaps come to get us..."

He began sweating coldly. "Yes. Maybe. I don't know if he'll be able to come… But I'll see."

That sounded like trouble. Leave it to future Remus to deal with.

"It doesn't have to be from Manchester, of course," Sirius continued. "Perhaps from Lancaster? Or Carlisle?—Wherever we can go from Manchester."

Remus only made a sound of agreement. After a few seconds, he began another subject so he wouldn't have to talk about Gideon again.

"What do you even carry in that bag of yours?" Remus asked.

"Besides cigarettes, you mean," Sirius arched an eyebrow and shot him a look.

Remus smiled faintly, "Besides cigarettes."

"Everything I'll need until I die," he put it bluntly. "So a couple of shirts, some money, personal belongings, and, most importantly, my favourite records."

"Records?"

"Yep. It was torture having to choose, but I had to come to a decision."

"Which was…?"

"We've got Ramones, Queen, the new one from The Smiths I didn't get a chance to listen to yet, and the Buzzcocks—that one is for nostalgia's sake."

"And you only brought records? No tapes?"

"Well, you see, I hadn't planned on getting stuck on a road trip," Sirius explained.

"Of course," Remus said with a glint of humour.

"And how come there weren't any tapes in your car?"

"Who says there weren't?"

"You didn't play any."

"I don't like listening to music when I'm too stressed, I suppose," Remus shrugged.

He then tugged at his trousers, lifting himself a bit from the seat to reach inside his pockets properly. The jostling around made Sirius want to crane his neck to look at what was going on. Remus fished out the tape he'd saved before abandoning his car forever.

"Here," he stretched his arm to hand him the tape.

Sirius turned his head to look at it, "Huh. You're a man full of surprises."

He got the tape from Remus' hand and put it in the player.

"I didn't make it," he explained before any judging came from Sirius' part.

"Your boyfriend did?"

"Yes," he cringed once again. He shouldn't have brought. He should have left it to rot in the car. Before he could demand to take the tape back, it began to play.

While I'm far away from you, my baby;

I know it's hard for you, my baby;

Because it's hard for me, my baby;

And the darkest hour is just before dawn.

"Dedicated to the one I love, huh?" Sirius spoke above the music. "How cute."

Remus felt awfully self-conscious. What a bad idea handing him that tape had been. Now he had to sit here listening to all the songs that reminded him of Gideon while having to keep up with the lie of still dating him.

This song made his heart clench inside his chest. It brought all sorts of memories. He hated how much he hadn't got over him, how it still hurt. His throat closed up and he thought he could start crying at any second.

"Actually, I think we should stop playing it. She might wake up," he fought to keep his voice steady.

He watched Sirius frown slightly, "Oh. Yeah, you're right."

With the press of a button, the car was silent again. They hadn't even made it through the entire song. He got the tape back and tucked it in his trousers.

Silence settled between them, Remus not eager to make any comments.

Remus focused on trying to clear his mind, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, working hard not to let his feelings take over him.

"Actually, Remus… I wanted to talk to you about something," his voice was uncertain.

Remus' heart began beating faster, "Uh, okay." He tried to sound nonchalant.

"What you said. Earlier. About me—uh, you know."

He glanced at his hand holding the steering wheel, knuckles white. Sirius wasn't looking at him through the rearview mirror, avoiding his eyes like the plague.

"What?" Remus asked, utterly confused.

"About the waiter," Sirius blurted out, shifting in his seat.

For a second Remus worried his nervousness would cause a road accident.

"Oh. Right," he said. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"No, no, it's fine. I just wanted to ask… how obvious was it?"

"How obvious? Well, I—I mean, not that obvious, you're—"

"Cut the shit, Remus," Sirius demanded.

He sighed, "Pretty obvious."

"Yeah… I figured."

"Take it with a pinch of salt. I have a boyfriend," he tried hard not to cringe, "so I have a sixth sense for this sort of thing. Doesn't mean that it's painfully obvious to most people or anything."

He wouldn't judge Sirius for being worried about coming off as too gay. It was Thatcher's England, after all. He'd got used to it already, to have to hide, lie, and fear for his life. It was a part of him, like it or not.

Remus had enough luck to surround himself with people who always accepted him, many of them feeling the same way as he did. He did have rocky beginnings trying to figure himself out, but he saw his privilege. Not many people could say the same thing.

"No, I know it was obvious," Sirius said thoughtfully. "I'm not that great at hiding what goes through my head."

"It could be a virtue," Remus noted.

"Not in my life," Sirius sighed.

He saw the grip on the steering wheel soften a little.

"So you've been breaking a lot of men's hearts?"

"Not exactly," he answered with a distant feel. He then added after a beat, "Only two people know about it.—Now three, I suppose. But I've never actually said it."

"Oh. I see," Remus said. "Well… thanks for telling me."

"No, I—I need to say it. Properly," he said nervously. "I'm gay." Sirius breathed out in relief, then let out a faint laugh. "I'm fucking gay. I'm a queer, a bender, a poof, a homo,—the list goes on!"

Remus couldn't suppress his laughter, "I'm glad. Welcome to the club, I guess."

"What are you going on about?"

They were taken aback by the groggy voice that came from the passenger's seat. Samantha had awoken, of course.

"Uh. Nothing."

"Oh, okay." She shifted in her seat and rested her head against the window, going back to sleep.

They chuckled at the ridiculousness of it all.