The weekend passed quickly, and Kim mostly kept what she'd done, what she'd ruined, out of her head. She picked up Makayla from a friend's house on Saturday afternoon, drinking coffee with the other mothers. She'd been quickly accepted into their group, her job making them always there to help if she needed it. In return she watched out for all of them, giving warnings if she heard something would happen.
Sunday was spent clothes and grocery shopping, Kim wanting to get Makayla something nice to wear to the courthouse on Tuesday morning. They found a silver dress covered in sequins, along with matching trainers and a denim jacket that the girl fell in love with. When they finished doing that they went to the grocery store together. It didn't take long to stock up for the week ahead, and Kim noticed how quiet Makayla was in the car when they buckled up.
"Penny for them?" She asked, looking back at her almost officially daughter in the mirror. The girl huffed, taking a deep breath before speaking.
"You're gonna officially be my mother on Tuesday, right? Like nobody can separate us, right?" Kim nodded at that. "I called my first mother Mommy, and I wanna keep that for her. Can I start calling you Mama, Kim?"
Kim's eyes welled up with happy tears, and she blinked them back before speaking. "Kayla, you can call me whatever you want to. Whether that's Kim or Mama, or anything like that. You are the most important person in my life, and no matter what you call me, I'm your mother. Once we get the groceries away, want to visit the graveyard? We haven't seen your parents in a while, you can tell them your news?"
Makayla nodded at that, and they were silent for the drive home and putting everything away. It wasn't until they got to the graveyard that she spoke again, while they were picking flowers to put on the grave.
"She liked orange. And Dad liked yellow." The girl pointed to a mixed bouquet of yellow and orange carnations, and Kim picked them up immediately.
"Perfect. Let's go and see them." Kim held her hand as they walked the familiar paths to the grave, and then stood back to let her daughter grieve. It had been fifteen months since she'd taken the girl into her life - fifteen months of birthdays and grief and nightmares and celebrating good grades - and while she didn't regret it for an instant, she hated that her daughter knew exactly how dangerous her job was.
"Mama, can you come here?" Kim's head shot up at the unfamiliar name, and caught Makayla's hand as she was pulled to the edge of the grave. She put her arm around her daughter's shoulders and listened.
"Mom, Dad, this is my Mama. She helped me when you died, and she's 'dopting me this week. So now I get three parents. I love you." The tears fell down the young girl's cheeks, and Kim lifted her into her arms, walking the path back to the SUV and letting her daughter cry. Between the grief and the tears she slept on the drive home, and Kim lifted her back into the apartment. She woke in the elevator, but kept her arms around Kim until they were in the front door.
The rest of the day passed quietly, and Kim put her to bed with an extra hug. Once she had time to herself, Kim shuddered, worried about the next morning and what would happen when she got into work. But she prepared Makayla's breakfast and lunch before going to bed and managing to get a few hours sleep.
Once Kim arrived in the precinct parking lot she was immediately nervous, pinning her hair behind her ears and looking at the front door. As she walked in she took a deep breath, nearly as nervous as that first morning she'd joined intelligence all those years before. Platt waved hi to her from behind the desk and she returned it before buzzing herself into the cage and going to her desk. The normal Monday good mornings were exchanged, but she sat behind her computer, trying to stay out of everyone's way.
"Burgess, a word?" She looked up to see Voight leaning out of his office door, so stood and walked over to him.
"Ooooh, someone's in trouble," Jay murmured as she walked past, Kim cracking a smile at the immediate slap to the back of his head Hailey served when he said it. Voight closed the door behind her, and Kim's stomach immediately dropped. He never closed the door.
"You asked for tomorrow morning off?" Voight sat behind his desk watching her as Kim nodded.
"I've to be in the courthouse for ten, Makayla's adoption is official tomorrow so we need to be there. I was gonna bring her back to school before coming back to work." She was surprised when her Sergeant shook his head and spread a smile on his face.
"You're taking the entire day, Burgess. We can manage without you for a day and tomorrow's a special day for you and that girl. Go take her out for lunch, it's important. This job takes a lot out of all of us, but family? That's more important than anything you do up here any day. Understood?"
Kim nodded, smiling with tears welling in her eyes. "She asked me can she call me Mama yesterday. We went to her birth parents graves and she introduced me to them as her Mama. I'm really lucky, Sarge. Really, really lucky."
Hank stood, holding out his arms to her and she took the brief hug. "You deserve this, Burgess. You deserve to be a parent and you deserve to be loved as one. Don't forget it." They separated and Kim went back to her desk, a small smile on her face. It took about thirty seconds for her phone to buzz with a text from Kevin.
What did Sarge want? Everything ok?
It's fine. I had to tell him about tomorrow and taking time off, that's all.
For the entire shift she managed to ignore Adam and not make it obvious that she was pining for him like a freshman girl for the senior high school football star. They didn't catch a case, and were actually able to leave at five for once.
"See you tomorrow, Kim?" Hailey asked as she and Jay walked past Kim's desk, the younger woman packing up her bag.
"I'm out tomorrow, we've a big day. I'll be back Wednesday though." She looked up to see matching confused expressions on both their faces, smiling at the similarities.
"You can't just say that. What's happening?" Jay piped up, ignoring his girlfriend's elbow to his ribs as he did.
"Makayla's adoption is being finalised, so we're taking the day to celebrate. I'll see you both Wednesday." She picked up her bag and walked down ahead of them, not spotting the scheming look on both their faces.
The two residents of the Burgess apartment were up early the next morning, excited for their day. Kim braided Makayla's hair and watched as she got dressed in the outfit she'd picked out. Once they were ready to leave they went to a diner that was only for Special Occasions, ordering pancakes and bacon for breakfast before arriving to the courthouse at nine-thirty. The two of them found the directions to Courtroom Fifteen, and followed the signs.
There was a group of people outside the door, and Kim stopped dead when she realised her entire unit was there for them. Makayla realised who they were and went running, calling "Uncle Adam! Uncle Kevin!" As she did, getting lifted into Adam's arms for a hug. Kim caught herself and joined them, a grin on her face.
"We had to be here to welcome her into the family, you know that," Hailey said, an arm around Kim's shoulders. The group went in and watched as the adoption case before Kim and Makayla was finalised, and then the mother and daughter went and sat at the table in front of the judge.
"Makayla, you've been with Kimberly for fifteen months, is that right?" The judge was casual, in pants and a shirt rather than robes.
"After my mom and dad died, Kim found me. Then she looked after me. She told me yesterday I can call her Mama, so I do." There was an aww from the assembled Intelligence detectives at that, and Kim blushed.
"Kimberly Burgess, are you willing to look after Makayla Ward as if she were your own born child until she reaches the age of majority? You'll be responsible for feeding and clothing her, and looking after all of her needs."
Kim swallowed, a smile playing on her lips. "And after that, for as long as she needs me. I'll be her Mama for as long as she wants me to be there."
"And Makayla, do you want Kimberly to look after you as if she's your Mom? It'll be permanent, you'll live with her until you're a grown up."
"Yes! I'm really happy with her, she's the best. Even when she makes me eat spinach." The laughter came from the judge this time, who smiled at them.
"I'm happy to confirm that case KB/MW 2021-0023 has officially been closed, and Kimberly Burgess is now the legal mother of Makayla Ward-Burgess. We'll mail you the adoption certificate in the next week, Ms. Burgess. Congratulations, both of you."
Makayla flung into her mother's arms, holding Kim tight as she did the exact same. There was a flash of light as someone took a photo, and then Kim got Hank to take a picture of the two of them with the judge, grins on everyone's face.
They left the courtroom, and Makayla wanted photos with everyone who'd arrived. Kim made a comment that if Adam and Kevin were her uncles, then it looked like everyone else was an aunt or uncle. Voight separated from them to take a call, and came back with an apology written all over his face.
"Burgess, I'm sorry, there's something with a form you filled out for a trial tomorrow. Can you come to the precinct to fix it? It shouldn't take long, but the trial starts tomorrow and we can't risk it getting delayed." Kim nodded, knowing it had to be important.
"Sure. Is it ok to bring Makayla up? She can sit at my desk, it'll be fine."
"Of course. Back to the precinct folks."
The drive didn't take long, and Makayla's grin was impossible to ignore as they drove. They held hands walking into the precinct, and Trudy immediately called them over.
"I heard from a certain Officer Ruzek that this little miss is officially a Burgess from today, is that right?" Kim's grin came back full force, and Makayla nodded.
"Well, there's something we usually give to cops when they announce they're having a kid. Instead I changed things up, but this is for you little Miss Burgess." Trudy held out a badge, and Makayla smiled as she read it out.
"My mom is a CPD cop. Thanks Sergeant Trudy." Trudy reached over to ruffle the girl's hair, an actual smile on her face.
"You're welcome Little Burgess. I need to come up with a nickname for you now, you know that, right? I'm going upstairs for coffee, buzz me up Burgess?"
Kim put her hand in the palm scanner, letting the two ahead of her. They barely made it up the stairs when a loud "Surprise" rang through the room, and Kim stared at the decorated bullpen. There were pink balloons, and a banner that read "It's a ten year old" pinned up over her desk. On Adam's, in the middle of the room was a cake in the shape of a stork with a pink blanket in it, dark curls falling out of the blanket.
"What…You all did this? For us?" She saw the grins on her coworkers faces, the realisation that they truly were her family sinking in.
"Of course we did. Someone in Intelligence has a kid? We're celebrating, you know that." Kim was wrapped in a hug from Kevin, holding onto her first real partner for dear life as the surprise and shock hit her full force.
They sat and ate and chatted for a couple of hours, until Kim felt too guilty for keeping them away from their jobs. They waved goodbye, and Adam promised to be over later with dinner and the pile of presents that had been bought for Makayla.
True to his word by six Adam was there, two pizzas and a bag of presents in his hand. They had the most domestic evening Kim had had in years, watching Moana and singing along, Adam doing the Maui parts. Kim giggled as he danced around the room, singing along to "You're Welcome", watching as Makayla was literally on the floor in giggles. They put her to bed, an extra hug for both of them from her.
"Thanks for the best day of my life, Mama," she mumbled, half asleep as Kim pulled up the blankets around her. Kim just smiled, the expression barely off her face as she closed the door. Once she got to the kitchen Adam had poured her a glass of wine and handed it over.
"We need to talk about Friday, I think," he said, his voice uncertain. Kim pulled one of the beers she'd bought just for him out of the fridge, handing it over. They sat on opposite ends of the couch, watching each other without speaking until Kim finally blurted it out.
"What are we, Adam?" She asked, her voice low. His eyes flickered, and she couldn't tell what he was thinking from them. When had she stopped being able to do that?
"I honestly have no idea. I swore I was gonna marry you, y'know? I thought we were it for each other. But now I don't know if you trust me, and I want to trust you—"
"But I broke your trust a year ago after the Borella case. I know you, Adam, and your trust isn't easy to win back. But I always believed you. As soon as you told me what happened, I believed you." She cut across, desperate for him to know what she was thinking.
"But you didn't when you arrived into that yard. And that's the one thing that gets me every single time, Kim. You were gonna have a baby with me. We were gonna be married. You know me better than anybody else in the world. And when you arrived into that yard you looked like you were looking at a murderer. And now every time I see you, no matter what expression is on your face, I keep expecting to see that one. I still want everything with you, but I'm afraid that if I jump head first into this like I want, one day I'm gonna see that expression again. And it'll kill me to see." He drank from his bottle, the silence overtaking the room.
"So what do we do? We've tried being just friends, and it doesn't tend to work with us. We always end back in this position." Kim could feel her heart breaking as she spoke the words, but she had to do what was right for Adam, even if it hurt her. He'd done it for her before, it was her turn to take the pain for him.
"I don't know. I don't know who I'm supposed to be to you, to our unit, to Makayla. We need time to work that out. So if it's ok with you, I think we need to be colleagues. I'll still see Makayla, I'll still take her out at the weekend, but our relationship needs to stay purely professional right now. At least until we can work through everything between us." He drained his bottle, standing up and putting it in the recycling bin. "I'm gonna let myself out, Kim. See you in work tomorrow."
She nodded and stood, staying a couple of feet away from him as he left the apartment. She watched as he went into his jeep again, slower than normal this time. He didn't pull out immediately, and Kim wondered if he was feeling the same way she was, that if the tears started falling they probably wouldn't stop. Instead she clenched her jaw, fighting through her water filled eyes until she saw his jeep pull out.
It was only when she couldn't see the familiar car anymore that she let the tears fall, sobbing for the her of a decade ago who'd fallen in love with Adam Ruzek, the woman of eight years ago who had broken his heart, and the her of three years before who'd lost their baby. She was all of those women and more, and she cried for the broken heart she was finally letting herself feel.