'The Good Life'
Chapter 2
Life flowed smoothly and happily, and seeing that the relationship with Jimmy seemed to go well, one evening they both decided to talk about it with friends.
Everyone reacted well to the news. The only one who was most impressed seemed to be Buck, who, however, failed to congratulate them like everyone else.
Jimmy proved to be a sweet and caring young man, and Deborah believed she had finally found love, but she felt that she was not yet ready to go all the way. It was as if something was holding her back. On the other hand, Jimmy respected her, and didn't ask for anything. He didn't want to pressure her.
Time passed quietly, and Deborah exchanged letters with her friends, and family back in Italy, and she was very passionate about her work.
Almost a year passed, but gradually Jimmy began to get colder, almost careless, and Deborah began to suffer. She decided to talk to Jimmy about it, but he replied that it was only her imagination.
Deborah felt that things were changing, and decided to confide in Lou, who told Kid, who tried to point it out to Jimmy, but he told him to think about his story with Lou, and not to create problems where there were none.
Buck seemed to have sensed the tension, and often asked Deborah if everything was okay, but she was ashamed to talk to him about it, and so she answered: "Yes."
But Buck knew she was lying to him.
Time passed, and Jimmy was sometimes affectionate, but sometimes he acted as if she didn't exist, and that made her suffer a lot.
Deborah tried several times to talk to him about it, but the answer was always the same. She knew that deep down he loved her, but he had a way of loving that probably didn't suit her. Their needs were different.
Deborah did not want to admit to herself that she had failed in love again, and went on pretending that everything was okay, and accepting Jimmy's behavior.
A whole year passed and the anniversary of their relationship was approaching. Deborah wanted that day to be special, so she organized a dinner in town, and as a gift she thought it was time to change their relationship.
She thought she would make love with Jimmy.
The morning of that day had arrived. Deborah and Rachel had just made breakfast, and put it on the table. Gradually, all the boys arrived to greet the two women, except for Jimmy who, without mentioning it to anyone, began to have a thoughtful breakfast.
Deborah was very upset, because she realized that Jimmy did not remember the date of their anniversary. He ignored it and started having his breakfast. At one point, Teaspoon asked if there were any riders available to stay away for a couple of days for an important matter: an urgent dispatch had to be brought to Fort Laramie.
Jimmy volunteered.
Deborah tried to intervene by reminding him: "But tonight we had decided to go to dinner in the city!", without making the slightest mention of the reason for the dinner.
"And should I give up my job for a stupid dinner? Don't be silly, we'll go there on my return if you really care."
She didn't flinch. After a moment, he apologized, and said he had to go and prepare the fodder for Buck's horse as he was about to return from his run.
"Come to say goodbye at least before leaving?"
"Okay," he replied.
Lou told her she would help her.
As they walked to the stable, Lou said to her: "Don't be mad. Jimmy is like that, but he really loves you."
"I don't know anymore Lou, I don't really know anymore."
When everyone was out of the shack, Kid walked over to Jimmy and said: "You're pulling the rope with Deborah, be careful not to regret it later," and left without Jimmy being able to reply.
In response, Jimmy jumped on his horse and left for his mission without going to greet Deborah, who was in the stable. Soon Buck arrived, who had met Jimmy riding like a fury.
As usual, Buck greeted Deborah kindly, asking her how she was. She evaded the question and in turn asked him: "Did the trip go well? Are you tired?"
He replied: "All right, thank you. It wasn't particularly tiring."
"What is wrong with Jimmy? I passed him riding like a bat out of hell!"
Deborah felt like she received a blow to the heart. "How did you meet him? Has he already left? "
"I assume so, I saw him on the street."
"I've had enough! It's over! I'm tired of enduring all this. I'm stupid for thinking…"
Buck was astonished, and asked her what was happening. She explained to him: "My relationship with Jimmy is now over. As soon as he returns from his trip I will let him know."
"What are you saying? Isn't today your anniversary? "
Buck had remembered and Jimmy didn't.
She was amazed, and told him: "I'm tired of suffering from Jimmy's way of loving. I failed for the second time. He often ignores me, and acts as if I don't exist, taking my love for granted. This morning he volunteered for an assignment for which he will be away for a few days, not even remembering what date it was today, and what commitments he had made with me. He didn't even come to greet me before leaving. I have already left a man on the threshold of marriage because I was not important to him, and I have no problem doing it again. I need a guy who knows how to love and woo me, who puts me first and makes me feel important. At first, I thought I had found it, but I was probably wrong."
Buck listened to Deborah's words, and seemed to suffer with her. He tried to change her mind and take Jimmy's side: "Don't make hasty decisions, let the anger pass and think. He loves you, you said so too. You just have to find a meeting point."
"No, Buck, I'm tired. I want to finally be happy and not always have to beg for love."
She looked into his eyes and realized: "I need a man who loves me unconditionally. Maybe it will come soon, maybe not. Or maybe I already know him. Maybe he's close to me, but so far I've been blind, and haven't understood him".
She looked Buck in the eye again, and saw what she had always wanted. Without speaking, she approached him and kissed him. Her ideal man had always been there close to her, but she only understood it now.
He had always been kind and discreet to her, and he had helped her when she needed it. He had always been interested in how she was or felt, and sometimes he had comforted her when she was suffering for Jimmy. He had seen all this in his eyes.
Buck was taken by surprise but then pulled back. "No, you're Jimmy's woman. I can't do that."
"I'm not Jimmy's woman anymore, whether you want to be with me or not. I apologize for the kiss. It will never happen again. Friends as before? Let's act as if nothing had happened."
Deborah went out, and changed to go to town. She needed to buy some things for school. When Rachel saw her, she called over to her, and asked if she could get some supplies that the boys needed.
When she saw Buck come out of the stable as well, she asked him if he could accompany Deborah, because she couldn't load everything alone. Buck asked if anyone else was available, as he had just returned.
He really didn't want to be alone with Deborah all that time after their kiss, he still had to process the fact. Rachel replied that the others were all busy.
Deborah said: "If it's a problem, I'll go alone. I'll ask someone to help me with the load."
Buck did not have the courage to say no and agreed. On the way to the city, neither of them spoke, which was unusual because the two had always talked about everything. At one point, Deborah broke the silence: "Buck I'm sorry, please talk to me. Are you going to sulk at me all day or more?"
He replied: "I'm not angry, and I'm not sulking at you, I'm just a little embarrassed, but you're right, let's forget about it, and let's get everything back to normal."
They started chatting about this and that, and soon arrived in town. When they had bought and loaded everything, they looked up at the sky, and realized that a violent storm was about to break out.
They hoped to get home in time, but when in doubt, they bought a heavy tarp, which they placed on the supplies so as not to lose them due to the rain.
They set off in a hurry, but after a while a pouring rain began to fall which made them soaked in a short time. Buck remembered an abandoned house along the way and decided to stop there waiting for the storm to pass.
He told Deborah to come in while he packed the wagon into the sheltered stable. Then, he too entered, and immediately lit a fire to dry himself. They absolutely had to take off their clothes and dry them if they didn't want to get sick.
"I'll see if there are any blankets, meanwhile you start taking off your wet clothes", he told her.
"Turn around, though."
"Okay, but it's not the first time I've seen a woman with long johns, I can survive."
"You forget I'm Italian, I don't wear long johns, and I don't think you have ever seen the underwear I am wearing, so turn around or I'll keep them on."
"Okay, okay."
He turned, handing her a blanket that she wrapped herself in immediately.
"Now you turn around!"
"Don't you remember that I see you in knickers every morning?"
"And do you remember that I am Kiowa? As soon as I can, I also set myself free, so ... "
She blushed, turning until he too was wrapped in the blanket. The two sat by the fire to dry but the tension between them was strong. He decided they had to talk about it or nothing would be the same again.
"Are you really convinced of the decision you made about Jimmy? Don't you really want to reconsider? "
"No, Buck. It's time to turn the page. I owe it to me. By the way, sorry for the kiss, I shouldn't have been so…"
Buck decided to speak from the heart: "And why? After all, I wanted it too, for a long time actually! "
Deborah was stunned: "Really? And why didn't you ever tell me about it? "
"You were Jimmy's woman, and I had to stay in my place. I was not angry about the kiss, on the contrary, I was just afraid that I would never be able to forget the emotion I felt, and that I would never be able to give it up. I've loved you since I first saw you, but you chose Jimmy."
Deborah gasped. The two looked into each other's eyes, and she saw all the love he felt for her, and was overwhelmed. She realized that in reality she had always known, but she was blinded by the feelings she felt for Jimmy, which were of love mixed with gratitude for having saved her.
She suddenly felt serene and happy.
Buck walked over to her and kissed her passionately and in a moment things came by themselves. The blankets slipped off, and the two made love gently, and passionately, being pampered by the heat and the light of the fire, and not before he gently asked her: "Are you really sure?"
The answer was a very long and very sweet kiss.
After making love, Buck asked her a little embarrassed: "It was your first time right?"
"Yes and I'm delighted that he was with a wonderful man like you."
"You are beautiful, and it doesn't seem real to me to be here with you. Anyway, it was the first time for me too."
She kissed him and they made love again.
They hugged in silence for a while, and then decided they wouldn't say anything until Deborah talked to Jimmy. Meanwhile, the rain had stopped outside and they decided to go home.
The clothes were now dry; they put them back on, took the wagon and set off, happy as ever, and telling each other everything that came to their minds.
When they returned, they had to explain that they had had to take refuge because of the storm, but they did not say where; that house would be their secret place. They unloaded the goods, changed, and washed, then Deborah went to the shack to start preparing things for dinner.
Buck joined her, and the two enjoyed a bit of the intimacy they had achieved. As she prepared the pots he asked her if there was an apple to munch on.
"Are you hungry?"
"Well, you know, after doing some 'gymnastics' it's natural."
She jokingly threw the tea towel, and passed him the apple, and at that moment Cody came in who noticed the cheerfulness that existed between the two and said: "Buck, I see you made her happy again, thank goodness!"
The two looked at each other tenderly.
At dinner everything went normally, but Buck and Deborah glanced at each other, and "accidentally" brushed their fingers in a way that Rachel did not fail to notice, but at the moment she preferred to drop it.
After dinner, Lou asked Deborah if he could talk to her.
They went out onto the porch when Lou said to her: "I've made a decision, and I wanted to confront you. I decided to make love with Kid. What do you think about it?"
"I am very happy for you, making love with the man you love is the sweetest thing, and the most exciting thing that exists. You feel part of him, and it seems that everything else doesn't matter! "
Lou was amazed by this answer and said, "You and Jimmy have ..."
"Actually no."
"With your boyfriend in Italy then?"
"Not even."
"So how do you know?"
"I can tell you, but please, it must remain a secret for now. Me and Buck, just today!"
"Today? But you were with Jimmy! "
"No, not anymore. On his return, I will speak to him. Now my man is Buck. It all happened in a moment. After this morning, and after Jimmy left without even saying goodbye, I knew it was over between us.
I was in the stable with Buck, and while I was telling him what had happened, I looked him in the eyes, and I realized that he was the man I was looking for in my life. It is as if I had finally opened my eyes. I kissed him, but he rejected me. Then…"
Deborah told Lou how things had gone and then told her: "I think this time, I have found the right one. Buck is of infinite sweetness, his eyes speak, and I have read all the love and dedication he feels for me. Now, I have to find a way to explain it to Jimmy, and to make it understood by others, especially Rachel… "
"You will see that they will understand, but with Jimmy it will be hard."
"However, we deviated from the main discussion. If you really love Kid, you've made the right decision."
"Thank you, you are a friend."
The two girls hugged each other, then returned to say goodnight to everyone, and went to sleep.
The next morning, at breakfast, without being heard, Buck and Deborah made an appointment by the river.
She left first, and soon Buck moved. Rachel noticed the movement, and decided to follow it. When Buck reached Deborah, the two kissed passionately. Rachel wasn't wrong, but she decided to go home.
The two went to an isolated place on the river, undressed, and threw themselves into the water, where they made, and made love again, in love, and happy as ever.
He kept repeating to her that she was beautiful, and that he would never believe it possible that they would get to that point, and she repeated to him that now that she had found him, she would never leave him again.
When they got out of the water, and lay down to dry, Buck said to her: "Are you aware of what it means to be in a relationship with me?"
" What do you mean?"
"I'm a half-breed, and people don't always respect me. Being with me means being pointed out, and often not accepted. Are you sure you want it? "
"Those who think so are only ignorant, and I will never give up on you for the ignorance of people. I will stay by your side, and fight your battles with you, proving what you are worth."
The two kissed, and then decided to return because they had been missing for a while, and this could arouse suspicion. As soon as they returned, first one, and then the other, Deborah entered the house, but was immediately joined by Rachel.
"Can you tell me what's going on? What are you and Buck doing? I saw your eyes, and followed you to the river."
"You shouldn't have let yourself follow us, it's our business."
"Everything is my business if it involves the feelings of the whole family. Tell me what's happening."
Deborah was forced to tell everything to Rachel who said: "I knew that sooner or later you would make someone suffer!"
"Is it really me who suffered here, or have you forgotten how Jimmy behaves with me? I would have left him independently of Buck."
"Let's just hope things don't degenerate. However, the others have a right to know before the storm breaks! "
"Agreed. I'm going to tell Buck."
Deborah joined him, and told him everything. He was upset but agreed.
When dinner time came, at a certain point, while no one was talking, Rachel turned to Buck and Deborah, and said to them: "Are you talking or will I do it?"
Teaspoon intervened, "What's going on Rachel?"
"Then?"
Deborah was about to speak, but Buck took her arm, and started explaining the whole situation.
The boys, except Lou, who didn't know anything, dropped the fork from their hands and were amazed. They realized that the next day, when Jimmy returned, things would be difficult, but they understood Deborah's reasons, and were happy for Buck because they had noticed that for a couple of days he had been reborn, more serene and cheerful. His best friend, Ike, was particularly pleased with it.
After dinner, Deborah and Buck made arrangements on how to tell Jimmy the next day. Deborah understood that she had to be the one to tell him, and Buck agreed.
The next morning everyone was very nervous at breakfast; they knew that Jimmy was coming, and that all hell would break loose.
Deborah went into the house to iron, and when Jimmy arrived, finding her neither in the shed nor in the stable, he went to look for her there.
Deborah greeted him coldly and Jimmy, who in the meantime had remembered that the dinner two days ago was to celebrate their first anniversary, said: "I know you're angry, and you're right, I'm sorry, I was stupid. You know that I love you, but you also know how I am, and that I find it hard to have a normal relationship with people."
"I know you love me Jimmy, but maybe that's not enough. It is not for dinner, but for many other things. Your way of loving me is not good, and I am tired of suffering. How many times have I tried to talk to you about it, but you have always minimized the situation. It's over Jimmy, I'm no longer willing to suffer like this."
"You're not serious, are you? I love you. I apologized, isn't that enough?"
"No it is not. We probably have two ways of loving that are too different, and we would only hurt ourselves by continuing our story. It's over, I'll tell you again."
"It's absurd, and I won't accept it."
"You will have to, and that's not all,…while you were away, I realized that I loved another, a person I have known for a long time, and who has always been close to me at his discretion. I realized I love him, and he loves me. Now we are together."
"Not only do you leave me, but you also tell me you have another one? How long has this been going on? You betrayed me?"
"No, I told you, I realized it while you were away. I've never betrayed you, I've always been loyal to you, but now my life is with someone else."
"Tell me who it is!"
"Buck."
"What? How did you even have the courage to resign with a friend of mine? How could you? And he, as soon as I turned around, stabbed me in the back,"
"It is not so. Buck absolutely did not take advantage of the situation, on the contrary, at the beginning he tried to make me think and to make me retrace my steps. He didn't want to start a relationship with me, even though he confessed that he immediately fell in love with me when I got here. He wanted me to try to mend the relationship with you. When he realized that I had made my decision by now, and that regardless of him I would end my relationship with you, then he agreed to stay with me. He has no fault."
"A saint, in short."
"He's not a saint, Jimmy, we only knew we fell in love. I do not deny my relationship with you, but probably, as I have already told you, you have a way of loving that is not good for me, and that makes me suffer. You will soon find another woman to love, more like you, who knows how to appreciate your love."
"Is there really nothing more to do then?"
"No, Jimmy, I'm sorry. The sooner you accept it, the better it will be."
"I will never accept it, I love you, and I will do everything to win you back, I don't want to give up on you."
"You have to respect my relationship with Buck now."
"By the way, where is he? I have an account to settle with him!"
"Jimmy, no, I don't want violence."
He didn't listen to her, but hurried out the door.
She ran after him but stopped on the porch. Buck was walking to meet Jimmy. The boys and Rachel had stayed in the shack, and were watching the events out of the window. When they heard the door to Deborah and Rachel's house open, Buck rushed to meet Jimmy, ready for a fight. Jimmy stopped a step away from him, and looked him straight in the eye, then said: "Nice friend you are, as soon as I turned my back you stabbed me. Well, know that I will never give up on her, and that I will be ready to take advantage of your first false step to take it back."
"She is not your property, as she will have explained to you, I did not stab you in the back, and I did not take advantage of the situation. You must respect her choice and our relationship."
Jimmy looked at him again, and then raised his hand as if to punch him.
Deborah and the boys were already about to intervene when, suddenly, the hand stretched out, and Jimmy handed it to Buck saying: "Good luck and treat her as she deserves. I wasn't kidding when I said that if you make a mistake, I'll take the opportunity to win her back. Make her happy as I have not been able to do."
Buck, astonished, returned the handshake, and said: "I promise you, I will love and respect her as she deserves. However, I would like us to remain friends, and for our relationship not to break down."
"We'll try to do what we can", he replied.
From the house, Deborah shouted at him: "Jimmy, thank you!"
He looked at her, smiled, then took his horse, and ran away like a fury.