Jack drank as long as his throat could take it before he lifted the bottle away and placed it back down on the deck. His eyes grew watery as he fought with his emotions again, but that was interrupted by the trapdoor to below deck creaked open and Arabella emerged. Jack quickly closed his legs together to hide the rum.
"Jack, I saw that ye weren't in bed and ye weren't in the galley," Arabella said. "What are ye doin' up here?"
Jack shrugged. Now that he was caught up here, his emotions pushed at him more. He felt ashamed. This wasn't the Jack Sparrow she knew. He was afraid if he spoke, his voice would crack or he would start crying.
"Jack...are you okay?" she quietly asked.
Jack once again shrugged and looked away, not wanting her to see the tears that would fall from his eyes again.
"Do you want me to leave you alone?"
Jack silently nodded.
Suddenly, Jean came up after her. "Hey, what's going on?"
"I don't know," Arabella replied.
Jack gave another shrug. From a little head adjustment Jack made, the moonlight barely revealed to Jean that his eyes were bloodshot. Jean's eyes widened. Uh oh. He knew this wasn't good.
"Do you need to talk?" Jean asked him.
Without hesitation, Jack nodded.
Arabella frowned. "Oh, so it has to do with me," she said in offense.
"Non, mon chéri," Jean assured. "I think he just wants to talk man to man." Arabella gave him a curt nod and stormed below deck.
Once the door was shut, Jean slowly approached Jack. He sat down beside Jack, just a few feet away to be sure he had his space. Jean didn't know what to say to him, but sometimes just the presence could be all that it could take to comfort someone. But still, he had to say something.
"What goes, Captain Jack?" Jean asked.
Jack still faced away from Jean, too ashamed to show his tear-soaked face. He was silent for a moment, then he swallowed a hard lump in his throat and took a breath to respond. "Don't call me that," he croaked.
Jean was confused. "Don't call you what? Captain Jack?"
"Yeah," Jack replied with another nod. "I'm not your captain anymore. Laura's your captain."
Jean shrugged. "I have two captains now." Jack didn't move or say anything. "You'll always be my captain." Jean smiled.
Jack's lips quivered again as more tears came down his cheeks. As he leaned further away from Jean and covered his face with his hand running through his hair, his leg moved, revealing the bottle of rum he stole.
After he noticed it, Jean snuck over and quietly took the bottle away. He examined it for a minute, even popping the cork off and giving it a whiff. "Oh, I hope you haven't started drinking, mon ami."
Jack froze. Busted, again.
"One drop of this could turn an honest man into a bastard," Jean told him. "The thing that I noticed about the heaviest drinkers was that they weren't strong enough to handle their problèmes in their own, so they turn to this. I hope you know that you are stronger than this, Jack."
Once again, Jack didn't say anything. However he did give him a nod while still looking away.
"And plus pirates drink rum," Jean added as an afterthought, "and I know you aren't a pirate, or at least you don't want to be." Jean placed the rum back down on the deck between them, but Jack didn't do anything to retrieve it.
"So, anything you want to talk about?" Jean questioned awkwardly. "What happened to the Barnacle?"
This was something Jack always hid or completely avoided talking about as he always kept things to his chest. Whenever asked, he just simply said the Barnacle was gone. Nothing more, nothing less. He hadn't even mentioned a word about Fitzwilliam. He didn't want to upset his old crew, nor did he want to taint their memories of the Fitzwilliam they knew.
"It's gone," he answered.
"Come on, that's what you always say. I want to hear more," Jean pleaded. "I want you to open up."
Jack took another deep breath. He had to be honest to himself; he really did need to talk to someone, whether he wanted to or not. Once he gained composure again, he spoke. "After you lot left, I broke time with Fitzy's precious watch. All the meanwhile I met the slimy legend himself, Davy Jones."
Jean's jaw dropped. "You met Davy Jones?!"
Jack quickly nodded, wanting to barely brief over it. "When all that was said and done, the forces of all my enemies came after me, the Royal Navy, the East India Trading Company, and the very thing I've been trying to run away from this past year.
"The Barnacle was only a boat...It couldn't outrun them. That was when Fitzy revealed who he really was. A mutinous scoundrel. A spy for the Royal Navy, using me to find the bloody thing I've been running away from," Jack looked down at the deck and added a little angrier. "I had the opportunity to send him to damnation, but I didn't. But now the Barnacle drinks it itself."
Jean knew this was about as straight as Jack could be, at least for now. He came to the conclusion that the Royal Navy were the ones who sank it. The whole Fitzwilliam thing was also new information to him. "I've never been that close to him, so I'm not sure if I would have had any idea that he was hiding anything...Do you regret not killing him?"
"Yes and no," Jack replied hoarsely. Would the Barnacle still have suffered the same fate if he actually killed Fitzwilliam? If he killed Fitzwilliam, that would have made him a murderer, and a pirate.
Before Jean could say anything else, Jack lifted himself back onto his feet and turned, leaning against the railing and resting his arms as he looked out to sea. Jean stood up after and leaned against the railing as well. Jean tried not to take his eyes off the sea, fearing to look at Jack as he had never seen his good friend and former captain so upset.
"Ya' know, mate," Jack said somberly. "It's so funny. I thought I had everything laid out...I had a ship—a boat, and a good crew, and a...lass,"
"Arabella?" Jean asked.
Jack shrugged. "Yeah. She was a fine first mate. I cared about her a lot...I guess I could say I still do, but I wish I could have had more with her...but I guess she's with Bloody Billy now."
Jean finally gathered up the courage to turn to Jack and what he feared was true. The tears running down the normally confident captain's face glistened in the moonlight, dripping into the sea below.
"How did it happen?" Jack bit his lip to avoid sobbing. "What happened to 'You really are the best mate I've ever had—ever will have?'...It's only been a few months and now she's with that bloke, and she seems pretty...distant from me."
"I was there and even I don't really know," Jean responded.
For the first time, Jack faced Jean, obviously eager to hear more.
"You've already heard the short version of this story so...you see, Mr. Reece was taken prisoner by the Royal Navy shortly after we left New Orleans," Jean began. "So we went to retrieve records for Mr. Reece from a navy vessel and we rescued Billy from the brig while doing so. Arabella seemed very untrusting of him as she thought he was a pirate, however he gained her trust when he found the records himself when we were caught and in battle."
"Very untrusting, eh?" Jack said thoughtfully. "She seemed pretty bloody trusting to outright agree to run away with me, after I stole the wrong sack...from Torn Pants of all people."
"She's been through a lot I guess," Jean reasoned. "Afterwards, we snuck into Port Royal and rescued Mr. Reece and several other pirates from the gallows, and we were thrown into another battle. They worked well together. She fought to protect him and he saved her. When we came back to the ship, Arabella treated his wounds from the battle. Other stuff happened but the rest is history. Billy seemed to take a liking to her. There was a bit of a sparkle in his eye when he looked at her."
"Oh," Jack simply sighed as he looked back out to sea. Although he heard the story, twice, he still didn't know how. He and Arabella were so close. He then continued with where he was going. "I thought I had a future...but now, everything is gone...and I'm stuck aboard a ship captained by Captain Blowhard. I just feel so..."
"Lost?" Jean finished for him. He also looked back out to sea in remembrance. "I also know how it feels to be lost. I felt lost when the only family I had left was cursed."
Jack hung his head over the railing to avoid Jean seeing him tear up again. "I've learned a lot while being out here aboard the Fleur,...but I'm independent. I want to be free...and Dad and Fitzy took it away from me. Although I'm where I want to be, I still don't feel free. I don't have a ship anymore,...nor a crew. The only time I've ever felt content in life only lasted a few short months..."
"We are only so young though," Jean said. "We have a full life ahead of us. The future feels so uncertain right now, but well...it couldn't get that much worse."
While thinking about everything that happened over the past year, Jack remembered something that was very important to him. He straightened himself out and pulled a little leather-bound journal from under his vest. This journal, his Captain's Log, was the only thing left from his days aboard the Barnacle, as it was on his person at all times. After the first two or three months, he had been too busy to write. However, he wrote his last entry a while back recounting everything that happened since he last updated it.
Jean turned and noticed Jack staring at the little book in his hands. "What's that?" he asked.
Jack sighed. "It's me Captain's Log. I started it after our first adventure." He had never read it or shown it to anyone else before. He unraveled the strap securing it shut and opened the book to the first page. He stared at the first page with more tears welling in his eyes. From all the things he went through, the journal looked like it went to hell and back, and to hell again. The pages were dried and wrinkled, giving evidence that it had been waterlogged multiple times. Even some of the ink smeared, but it was still legible.
Jack took another deep breath and began to tearfully read aloud. "I, Captain Jack Sparrow, being recently possessed of a ship, a crew,... and a hat,..." Jack paused for a moment as he found it difficult to read. "...do take it upon me from this day forth to faithfully and truthfully recount our adventures on the high seas and lowly streets in this Captain's Log... I carry out this duty in accordance with my position as Captain of the good ship Barnacle," Jack paused again as he began to sob, tears spilling onto the page of the journal. Jack had no shame anymore. He swallowed hard and went on. "...and, as befits a Captain, I do solemnly swear to write nothing but the Truth about me, my crew, and the events that befall us, no matter how fantastical or grim." Jack paused once more, trying to compose himself. Jean waited patiently for him to continue. He can feel the tears welling up in his eyes as well as he listened to Jack. "I shall begin with the tale of how I became a Captain,... how my crew became a Crew,... how we began our adventures,... and, most important, how I came to wear this Hat. Like many stories of adventure,... villainy,... and thievery, it began on the Island of Tortuga, in a tavern... called the Faithful Bride..."
Jack immediately closed the book and clutched it as he buried his face into his arms and wept. It felt like many years of anger and frustration and sorrow finally being lifted off his shoulders. Jean stepped closer to him and rubbed his back as Jack's body shook. He felt terrible for his distraught friend.
After a few minutes, Jack lifted himself up again and looked down at the book, sniffling. "I don't know what I'm going to do with it now," Jack grumbled as he began wrapping the strap around the book. Jean looked at him wide-eyed. "I think I'm just going to send this blasted thing to Davy Jones's Locker." Jack then held the Captain's Log over the railing by his thumb and pointer finger.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Jack," Jean said nervously. "You're going to regret it."
Jack shook his head as he glared at the book in his shaking hand. "Regret? I have no bloody use for it anyway. I can't carry on with memories I can't have anymore."
As he took a deep breath, he let go of the Captain's Log. He looked down and watched as it dropped into the shimmering water. He bit his lip and gripped onto the railing tightly, his fingernails digging into the wood. He saw the journal float at first, and then it sunk down into the depths with the water bubbling around it.
Jean was right. In an instant, Jack felt a pang of regret hit his chest. Those were all of his recorded memories that sunk below the ocean, fantastical and grim and in between. He looked around frantically in a panic, trying to think of what to do. Well, there was only one thing he could do. Jack gripped the rigging and pulled himself onto the railing.
"Jack, no! Don't do that!" Jean cried.
And without another word, Jack leapt off the railing, diving into the sea below with a splash.
"JACK! NO!" Jean screamed, pulling himself onto the railing and looking down at the sea. Jack wasn't there. All that was left were ripples and bubbles where Jack had hit the water. Jean didn't know what Jack's true intentions were, for all that he could know, Jack just tried to end his own life.
Jean thought about diving in after him until the door to the captain's quarters flew open. The sounds of the splash and Jean's screams alerted Captain Smith.
"What's going on?!" Laura shouted.
"Jack just jumped off the ship!" Jean wailed.
The rest of the crew, Arabella, Billy, Tumen, Constance, and Mr. Reece all quickly ran up from below deck in response to the chaos.
Laura pulled Jean off the railing. "Doing that won't help! You're just going to drown yourself, too!" She turned to everyone else and began barking orders. "Man overboard! All of you! Furl the sails at once! Quickly!"
Arabella blanched as she stood frozen with wide eyes. "Oh my god..." That was the first time she'd properly sworn like that.
"Come on! Let's go!" Billy said, grabbing her by the arm.
Constance rubbed on Jean's leg as he remained at the railing looking down at the sea worriedly, hoping Jack's head would pop out of the water.
Below the surface, Jack swam after the journal as it sunk. He kicked hard until he finally reached the journal. Getting to it wasn't so hard as the book didn't sink too far deep, but swimming back to the surface proved a bit more difficult as he was exhausted and his clothes were weighing him down.
Once he finally reached the surface, though, panic really kicked in. There was nothing but water all around him. Not a single ship or spit of land anywhere, leaving him stranded. Just then, Jack realized that the Fleur's sails were unfurled, rendering it invisible.
"Bugger, it's invisible," Jack sputtered. With the journal in hand, Jack swam to the direction he thought it was and frantically searched for the hull of the ship.
"I see Jack!" Jean called out from the railing as he watched Jack trying to find a way out.
Not too long after, the mainsail was furled, making the ship visible again. To Jack, the Fleur magically appeared out of nowhere. He quickly found the ladder and went up. By the time Jack heaved himself over the railing back onto the Fleur, he was greeted by everyone aboard the ship.
Jack glanced at the terrified Jean and stuffed his now soggy Captain's Log back into his vest. He gazed around at the rest of the horrified and worried crew.
"What?" Jack murmured.
As quickly as he hopped back aboard, Jack stormed away towards the hatch, leaving a trail of wet footprints across the deck.
"Jack..." Arabella started as Jack passed by. He ignored her and made his way down the stairs below deck. The whole main deck grew silent once Jack disappeared.
Everyone looked at Jean bewildered.
"What happened?" asked Tumen.
Tears filled Arabella's eyes in fear and sadness. "Why is he acting like that?"
Jean stood there stunned. "Je ne sais pas..."