A/N: don't mind me. I'm writing this on my phone trying to get out all of the jumbled ideas in my head onto the "paper". Also I imagine Stevie being a human lie detector kind of like they were in the show Lie to Me*

I also realize the timeline of Elliot being back and the age Noah is in the story doesn't keep in line with the show I just kind of wish Noah was younger still for Elliot to meet him like toddler age.

Anywaayyyyy-

"Yea, Liv. Of course we'll watch him for you. What happened to your new girl? Steve?" She had Fin on speakerphone and his voice filled the room. Both of them almost let out a laugh when he said Steve.

"stevIE, Fin. StevIE."

"Right. Stevie. Where's she at?"

Olivia looked over at her. A playful look in her eyes, "Oh she's right here, Fin. I planned on taking advantage of her tonight."

Stevie damn near choked.

"Always with the sarcasm, Liv." She could hear him laughing on the other end.

"I don't know, Fin. I'm sure she has a life outside of her being my babysitter."

"So what are your plans tonight then, Cap? Hot date?" Olivia peered over at Stevie again.

"Yea I guess you can say that."

"Oh shit, Liv! Please tell me it's at least Stabler and not some goofy ass lawyer or something."

"Bye, Fin! See you at 5 then?"

"Oh come on, Liv! You're really not going to tell me?"

"Five oclock Fin! Thank you again. Goodbyyyeee!" Olivia drug out her goodbye as she heard him protesting before hanging up.

At this point Noah was awake and drawing her and Stevie pictures. The way he always made it the three of them was cute and somewhat upsetting at the same time. Her son, her Noah... he was happy with her and Stevie being together. She was teaching him so many life skills where Olivia was slacking. The way she always made him feel like a little man instead of a toddler was adorable. Helped him stay calm in situations where he'd normally throw a tantrum. They connected so easily. It scared the shit out of Olivia. She had sheltered him from Elliot. They met once or twice but she never let Noah get this close to him yet. They never even sat a movie together yet. Here Stevie was reading him bedtime stories and knowing exactly the way he wanted his chocolate milk for bed. Guilt swept across Olivia and it showed on her face. Stevie noticed.

"Olivia," she was picking up discarded pieces of paper Noah had crumpled and tossed aside, "what's wrong?"

Knowing she couldn't lie to her, because she was basically a human lie detector, "it's Elliot."

Stevie took a seat on a barstool at the kitchen island. She stayed silent. Signaling Olivia to continue to talk.

"I feel..." with a huff she was leaning on the back of her couch, "I feel guilty." She lowered her head and shook it. Keeping her eyes closed.

"Liv, all we did was kiss."

"It's not even that. I mean, it's partly that but not completely. Jesus, him and I aren't even together I don't know why I feel guilty about the kiss."

"...because he's back after 10 years. You knew him for 12 years. You know he loves you and is a single man and you haven't kissed him the way you kissed me yet and you've only known me for about a month or so... does that sound about right?"

"As usual. Hit the nail on the head. It's more than that, though Stevie if I'm being honest. It's you. You and Noah."

Stevie started to feel a panic rise in her stomach. Had she done something wrong? Was she being too much like a mom to him when liv wasn't around? Did Olivia not like it?

"I think Noah loves you. He includes you in all of his drawings. Even when you're not here. He talks about all of the things you teach him. He always asks for you at bedtime if you're coming to read him his stories." Her voice trailed off..

"Olivia, if I over stepped—-"

"No. No not at all. I love the fact that he is so connected to you and feels so comfortable with you. That's a huge deal. I just ——-"

"You feel bad Elliot doesn't have that relationship with him."

Olivia locked eyes with her. She walked over to the other bar stool and sat facing Stevie. Making sure Noah was lost in his own imagination, Olivia took Stevie's hands in her own. "I do. I feel bad about it. It's my fault. I haven't let Elliot get near him to even start to form a relationship with him. So yes, I feel bad that, like you said, someone I've only known for a month or so has such a strong connection and relationship with my son to the point where he's asking for them every single night... but please don't misunderstand me...I love that Noah loves you." Olivia smiled and rubbed her thumb on top of Stevie's hand. She smiled back. She saw the sincerity in Olivia's eyes. She also still saw the guilt.

"Olivia. I don't want you to feel guilty about .. anything. Not my relationship with Noah, not our kiss not... anything that may or may not happen between us. Please believe me when I say I can go back to being the nutritionist babysitter in a heartbeat. Literally, I will never even bring the kiss up again—- noth—"

"No. That's definitely not what I want. I don't want to act like it never happened and I don't want you to think that you're JUST my babysitter or nutritionist. You have to know by now just from Noah you're family."

Stevie knew she meant it when she said that. She bit the side of her cheek to try and snap herself out of it. It wasn't working. Stevie never felt like she was apart of any family, not even her own. Hearing Olivia say that triggered something in her and she broke down. Happily crying at her words.

Olivia didn't know what was happening. The girl before her started to sob. Her intentions weren't to make her cry.

"Stevie sad?" Noah said walking over. Breaking Olivia's trance.

Before she could answer Stevie wiped away her tears, "no. Stevie's not sad, bub. Stevie's happy. Happy cry." She smiled big and clapped her hands.

"Happy cry. Happy cry. Happy cry". He walked away clapping his hands but not before giving her a side hug on her leg.

"Thank you for saying that Olivia. It's nice to feel apart of a family..." her voice hitched, "I've never felt apart of a family." The last part was almost a whisper but it made Olivia squeeze her hand. They locked eyes again and all Olivia wanted to do was grab her and kiss her again. It took everything in her to keep her composure because of Noah being right there. Stevie saw it in her eyes. She glanced over at Noah and back to Olivia. "I know." Is all she had to say. She smiled at the older woman and just took a deep breath. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Olivia did the same. Just a couple more hours and she'd be alone with her. It terrified and excited her all at once.

Of course she'd found some women attractive over the years. She appreciated a pretty face, or certain features someone may have had but she never wanted them in a sexual way. Unless she did, and she was denying it this entire time. Olivia wasn't actually sure.

As they went about the day waiting for Fin to come pick Noah up, Olivia couldn't help but let her mind drift to different situations she'd been in. Was her own sexuality right in front of her nose this entire time? All the times alone with Alex working on cases, the closeness she felt to her, sometimes even the physical closeness when they would get in each other's faces. She remembers that heat rushing over her thinking it was rage back then... now she couldn't help but wonder.. was it lust that made her body heat up?

It was the same with Elliot in the beginning—confusing anger with passion. It took a few years for her to realize it, but once she did, Olivia, as much as she hated fighting with him, lived for the arguments with him solely for the passion. They were both great at pushing each other to their breaking points of rage and the looks they'd give each other when they were at each other's throats, drove her wild. She'd never acted on anything seeing that he was married, but there were plenty of times she'd wished he'd thrown her against the wall or onto an interrogation table and just shut her up with his mouth. Her desire for Elliot was never a question... but now... this sudden realization that she's sexually attracted to women made her question everything.