When I wake up the next morning, I'm confused as to why I feel so miserable.

Then I remember.

The party. James. His confession of love. His kiss.

I turn over and groan into my pillow.

Why does this kind of garbage always happen to me?

I stand up and begin getting ready for the day. Marlene and Alice are probably already down in the Great Hall waiting for me - they tend to devour the entire breakfast table the morning after getting slammed.

As I pull on my jeans and throw my hair up into a ponytail, there's only one thought on my mind:

Please don't let James be at breakfast.

I already know what he's going to do. He's going to pull me aside all seriously, apologize profusely for acting like an idiot, tell me how utterly embarrassed he is, assure me over and over that he didn't mean any of it, and then promise that it won't happen again. Meanwhile, Alice and Marlene and Sirius and Remus and Peter will all be watching us from the table and laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world, and yet another James-and-Lily-are-dating rumour will spring up out of nowhere, and I'll want to curse the entire Hogwarts population.

And I really don't need that right now.

Luckily for me, James is not at breakfast when I arrive at the Great Hall. Which means he's either sleeping off a hangover, or frantically trying to get advice from his stupid friends about what to say to me. I really hope it's the first one.

"Morning, Lily," Alice says cheerfully. "Bacon?"

I shake my head.

Marlene is lying face first on the table. "I am going to jump off the Astronomy tower," she groans into the hardwood.

"Me too," I respond.

"Dorcas told everybody that Marlene and Peter made out," Alice explains to me.

Marlene whips her head up, looking furious. "Not just made out," she says, dragging out every syllable. "She's telling people that we hooked up. As in, had sex. Why is she so damn annoying?"

I pretend to feel sorry for Marlene, but secretly I'm ecstatic. If Dorcas Meadowes is spreading rumours about Marlene and Peter, that means she hasn't gotten word about me and James yet. And the entire school knowing that James and I kissed is not what I need to worry about right before N.E.W.T.s.

Not that it was a real kiss, obviously. He was drunk. Everybody knows that those kisses don't count. But, knowing Dorcas, she would conveniently overlook that little detail.

Suddenly, the Great Hall bursts into applause. I'm extremely confused - did someone just get proposed to? Then I realize that they're clapping because James just walked through the doors.

Perfect timing.

That was sarcasm. It's awful timing.

"Oh God," I groan, turning away from James and hoping he doesn't see me, which is sort of a lost cause because my hair tends to stand out like a traffic cone amongst everyone's dull Hogwarts robes. Marlene and Alice don't seem to notice my predicament, because Alice stands immediately and waves James over.

"Alright, Potter?" she asks, grinning, sitting back down.

I feel James slide into the seat directly next to me. I'm still refusing to look at him.

"Better than I thought I'd be," James responds cheerfully. "I was hammered last night, wasn't I?"

I snort humorlessly, and everyone looks over.

"What's got your wand in a knot, Evans?" James asks, an amused smile on his face.

I blink at him. Is he really asking me that?

"Don't pretend you don't know."

But instead of apologizing for, you know, kissing me, James simply stares blankly. "Know what?" He then turns to Marlene and Alice. "What happened to her?"

But Marlene and Alice just shrug. I continue to look at James, but now I'm more confused than upset.

"Do you even remember last night?" I ask slowly.

He laughs out loud. "That's rich. Evans, I must have had at least 3 gallons of Firewhiskey. I can't remember anything past winning the match." Then, his face falls. "Why? What did I do? Did I do something stupid?"

Did he do something stupid?

Did he do something stupid?

But before I can yell at him for this, the intensity of what he's saying hits me:

He doesn't remember.

HE DOESN'T REMEMBER.

This is perfect! He doesn't remember the kiss. He doesn't remember telling me he loves me. He doesn't remember fantasizing about our kids, Barry and Jerry and Mary and Harry and whatever the rest of their stupid names were - HE DOESN'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT.

And if he doesn't remember, I sure as hell am NOT going to tell him. This is the best-case scenario. No one has to know that ANYTHING happened.

"No," I tell him. "I don't- I don't know what I'm talking about. You didn't do anything stupid. I mean, you did, but not to me." I'm rambling, now. "Ignore me. Nevermind."

James stares at me for a moment more, then shrugs and turns back to Alice and Marlene and begins talking to them about the match (can he talk about anything besides Quidditch?). I breathe a sigh of relief.

Good.

More than good.

James and I are friends again. Just like it was always meant to be.

Friends.

...

...

So…

So why do I feel so empty, all of a sudden?

note from me (the author):

Something about me is that I tend to write REALLY short chapters. Like, some of the chapters in this story are only gonna be a few paragraphs long. So I think I'm gonna be posting a chapter every single day, or maybe even two chapters a day, just so that i don't have to keep you guys waiting forever and ever and ever and ever.