He was up late tonight and doubted he would be seeking rest between the next few days. This was not abnormal, not for Vader, atleast. Ever since he had been forced into this suit he never slept, but meditated instead. This wasn't the best replacement for sleep and despite the side effects of not sleeping- it was more preferable.
It was better than being faced with his nightmares, ones so gruesome he couldn't bear to even think of them. This was something he has suffered with greatly practically his whole life. It was a curse, he was sure of it.
He was sitting in his personal conference room, not really doing much of anything. Usually he would occupy his time with busy work in between meetings- the evening hours were quieter as well, so they were preferable when he needed to scroll through a report.
His work was his main function- his only function, his main drive everyday. Something to fill his downtime- if he had any. But right now, he couldn't even possibly pick up a datapad and review some asinine review or project. He was distracted and waiting somewhat impatiently in his seat as he looked out over Coruscant.
Neon lights filled the city, air speeders quickly making their way through air traffic- the planet never seemed to calm down. While in another life he had found it distracting at times and even sometimes now- he was concentrated on the night sky, waiting for an Imperial shuttle to pop into view. Nothing in this moment could break his concentration.
A datapad placed on the conference room table beside him blinked out the confirmation of a blood test, one he still found hard to believe. Only because it had to be impossible- but he couldn't deny the report, or more importantly, the force. It sang the truth to him, it was something he couldn't ignore. Every time he reread the report, only to see if what he read was correct, he saw the same answer each time.
He had a daughter .
His network of spies mentioned to him a rumour from an unnamed source about the child- a rumor on who the mother of the child was. This would have usually angered Vader and he would have quickly dismissed such ridiculous lies. He would have been sure his Master was truthful when he told Vader what happened to her . But it was only recently that what he had been suspecting for the past couple of years were confirmed, that his master was a liar. He only reached this conclusion about a week ago- when he was reunited with his son.
Luke, he was only two and yet had gone through so much already. Being kidnapped, separated from his twin sister and father. losing a mother .
He was found because his last name triggered the Imperial system when it was registered in Anchorhead- all Jedi names sent out alerts through the Empire. It was miraculous to have found one of his children, but knew it was the will of the force when he learned of the second.
He couldn't possibly imagine the mentality of the monsters who had done this, their mindset was simply impossible for him to grasp. The Jedi, and he was sure it was one, would pay. He was determined to find them and enact his full revenge. It was a promise he made to himself, and to his children.
He leaned back in his seat slowly and began to drum his fingers on the glossy conference table, the sins that were committed were finally being amended. It was nice to have justice finally be on his side. As he sat in the conference room he felt his patience wain, but he did not plan to leave from this spot to continue his work.
Suddenly, he heard something coming from outside of the conference room. It sounded like movement, like someone was walking around his personal quarters. His mind instantly rang an alarm, thinking it was an intruder. As he grabbed the hilt of his saber and stood up he was quickly met with the reminder of his son. He slowly clipped his saber back to his belt as he looked to the door of his conference room, feeling the adrenaline subside.
It was still a concept Vader was still getting used to, he was still in shock from finding out about Luke and now that he had a daughter he felt as if he was on the brink of spiralling. But- he couldn't do that, he was a father. He had to at least hold himself together the best he could, for his children at least. He had read something about that on a parenting forum.
Seeing as it was very late, he would see why the boy was up. He felt somewhat hesitant- it wasn't that he was nervous , Sith Lords don't get nervous. He only felt apprehensive because he did not wish to scare the child. He couldn't alter how his armor looked or his voice modulator sounded, it was something that couldn't be changed and was made to strike fear into others. But he didn't want to strike fear in his son.
He waited a few cycles before moving towards the door, it swooshed open and he was about to step out when he saw the boy standing outside in the hall. Luke gasped softly and backed away as he looked up towards Vader. His blond hair stuck out wildly and he gripped a stuffed animal Vader got him tightly. Seeing this sparked a warmth in his chest- a feeling he couldn't really explain.
There was a beat of silence before Vader spoke up, "Hello- Luke," He paused. "Is there something the matter?" He asked, he was still totally clueless on how to speak with a child. Luke sniffled softly and nodded his head.
"F'irsty," Luke said quietly, Vader could tell he was still slightly nervous around him. They had made a large amount of progress since they first met, Luke hardly was able to be in the same room as him at the beginning of the week. It was painful to see his own son so fearful of him, it made him glad to see his son becoming used to him.
"Oh-" Vader said. "Well- you may come in- I shall get you some water." Vader took a step back, allowing Luke an entrance. Luke blinked up at Vader before shuffling into the room. Vader moved towards a panel by the door and requested for a droid to bring up some water- now all they had to do was wait.
He turned to look back at Luke, who was looking back up at him, his hands gripping the stuffed animal. There was another span of silence, what were you supposed to talk to a child about? He wasn't sure-
"Have you- named your-" Vader paused, gesturing towards the stuffed animal, feeling at a loss for words. "-Toy animal?" Luke nodded, "What is its name?" Vader asked.
"Baby," Luke answered softly as he hugged the toy tighter.
"Baby?" Vader asked, Luke nodded. "That is a- a very nice name." Vader flexed his hands, he could see Luke smile and hide his face in the toy. Vader looked over to the crono lit up on the panel by the door and wondered when the water would get here.
Soon enough, a droid rolled into the room with a tray- and in the center was a glass of water.
"Your water, Lord Vader," The droid said, Vader moved over and grabbed the glass. "Is there anything else I may assist you in?"
"No, you are dismissed," Vader said with a wave of his hand, the droid turned and left the room. He looked to Luke and bent over, handing the glass to his son. Luke looked at the glass confused before he hooked the stuffed animal into the crook of his arm and grabbed the glass with both hands with a slight determined look. The glass looked to be heavy for the boy, like holding his toy and water was a challenge.
"T'ank you," Luke said softly before he lifted the glass to his mouth, Vader let out a sigh. This task was simple enough, and he felt slightly accomplished for completing this. Maybe this whole parenting thing wouldn't be as difficult after all.
A moment after that thought, Luke tilted the glass a little too high, causing all the water to spill onto him. "Uh-oh," Luke said as he looked down at the water that pooled around his feet.
"No, Luke," Vader said as he looked around, his accomplished feeling instantly deflating. "You are wet now." Luke looked down, seemingly just noticing his soaked pajama shirt and his face scrunched tightly as he dropped the glass and began to cry. The glass broke on the floor around his son's feet, causing Vader to instantly bend down and swoop Luke up away from the danger. It was like an alarm that ran through his body, it was an instinct.
He held Luke out awkwardly as the boy cried, he was motionless- his mind blank. He had no idea what to do, how to comfort him. Earlier he was struggling with the idea of holding him- only because he didn't want to hurt him. But at that moment the glass shattered, he scooped Luke up without a thought.
Luke cried, tears streaming down his cheeks. Vader felt incapable of calming him down- should he rest him on his chest? He wasn't sure- his chest plate wasn't exactly comfortable and may jab Luke in the side and he had to think about his life support control box. Luke kicked his feet, he had to do something! He moved out of the room and down the hall towards Luke's room.
He entered the room, maneuvered around the slight mess of toys on the floor and sat Luke down on his bed. Luke cried, gripping his now very wet stuffed animal. What was he supposed to do!? The word unprepared repeated in his mind, it was practically screaming at him and this moment only was an example of how true that was.
"Luke, no, no- please don't cry," Vader said in desperation, pleading with the child. He could only imagine what his master would say if he could see him now. Luke didn't stop, Vader turned around- deciding to get him a dry shirt, hoping that would help somewhat. He looked through a dresser and pulled out a small white shirt with balloons as the design. Good enough, he thought.
He turned and quickly took off Lukes wet shirt and switched it with the dry one, which did seem to help. Luke's loud crying almost all but stopped, with the exception of hiccups and tears still slowly slipped down his cheeks. Luke sniffled as reached his hands up towards Vader, causing alarms to go off in his head. Luke was seeking comfort from him, something he wasn't sure he would ever be able to do.
"Up," Luke said, his breathing still irregular from the crying.
"Luke, I-'' Vader paused when he saw the chrono placed on Luke's bedside table. It was getting really late now, and his daughter could be here at any moment. If this would help Luke fall asleep, he would do it. He looked around and found a soft blanket on a chair in the corner of the room, he laid it over his shoulder to cushion the chest plate.
He moved over to Luke and slowly picked him up, feeling worried he would underestimate the strength of his cybernetics. Luke laid his head on the blanket and hiccuped softly as he showed Vader his stuffed animal.
" 'S wet," He said quietly.
"Yes, you are right," Vader said as he took the toy. "Perhaps I should have someone dry it for you."
"Take away?" Luke asked.
"Only for the night."
"No!" Luke said as he reached for the stuffed animal, Vader handed it back and sighed. He couldn't let him sleep with that, not while it's soaking wet. Luke seemed to calm down considerably- as did Vader.
He was now able to think straight, which was an improvement. He was realizing how much his parenting skill was lacking- and with his daughter arriving soon, he knew he would need to improve, and quickly.
The thought ' If only she were here' flashed through his mind, causing him to recoil slightly. It was still extremely painful, but it was true. She would know what to do, better than him, anyway.
He stood there for a little while as he looked out of Luke's viewport, he patted Luke's back softly, doing his best to sooth his son.
"Are you feeling better?" Vader asked, trying to sound as soft as he could. Luke didn't answer, and he realized Luke had fallen asleep on him. He felt slightly amazed by that and a little proud of himself. When he felt like he failed in all of the parenting trials set before him, at least he could do this.
He moved over and laid Luke down on his bed, his son shifted as Vader pulled the blankets over him. He reached out and slowly grabbed the stuffed animal, maybe he could get this dry before Luke could wake in the morning.
He looked down at Luke, thinking that despite only having Luke for a week, he couldn't imagine his life without him. He felt a strange emotion swirl in his chest, perhaps something a Sith should not feel. He was sure Sidious would chastise him for that, but he supposed what his master didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
He turned and left the room, holding the stuffed animal in his hand- now realizing it was a toy dog. He clicked a button on his belt to summon a PA and waited outside of the lift. Not long after, a PA stepped out of the lift- it was Piett, a man who had been aiding him for quite some time. He held out the stuffed animal, Piett looked at it slightly confused.
"Dry this immediately, this is delicate- handle with care, Piett," Vader said.
Piett blinked, looking quite shocked, "Y-yes, your Lordship."
"Deliver it to me, once you are done." Piett gave him a slight nod, "-Are there any updates on when the shuttle should be arriving?"
"It won't be much longer, my Lord," Piett said as he glanced at his datapad. "An hour, my Lord." Vader was silent for a moment.
"You are dismissed."
Piett bowed and entered the lift to go back down to the hangar, Vader was frozen. One child was hard enough, but two? He couldn't help but feel slightly overwhelmed with the idea, perhaps while he waited for the shuttle he could study up on some parenting techniques. He had been meaning to order a few holobooks on the subject as well. He walked down the hall back towards his conference room, hoping to gain some parenting insight and that Luke would stay asleep