I have a bunch of assessment coming up, as well as other more pressing writing projects to finish, so this will probably be the last update for a little while 😢 I'll still try to work on it when I can
Warnings: None
Sparing one last look at his massacred family, Tanjirou sent them an apology- for not being there when they needed him, for not being strong enough to save them- before settling Nezuko onto his back and taking off.
He would come back and give them a proper burial later- that he swore.
"Hold on Nezuko! Your big brother is here, I'm going to save you!" he grit his teeth, the extra weight of Nezuko on his back making his footfalls heavy, each step sinking deep into the snow. The frigid air in his lungs burned, and his feet were going numb, but he had to keep moving.
He couldn't stop now, not when Nezuko was still alive.
Not when he could still save her.
He had failed everyone else, but he would not fail her.
"Ah!" there was unexpected movement from his back, and it caused him to lose his balance, tumbling over the edge of the cliff.
His heart sank, settling in his gut as the biting air whipped at his skin, eyes clenching tight and bracing for the impact.
Was this it?
Was he really going to fail in protecting Nezuko too?
A warm head was in his lap- no, her lap. Delicate fingers rubbed soothing circles in the man's scalp, soft hair tickling. The man made a happy little moan in the back of his throat as all the tension fled his body, laying limply against the woman.
"That bad, huh?" his face tilted up, but the details were blurred. Although, Tanjirou was sure the man was looking at... him?
Or was it her?
It was like he was both in the place of the woman, and looking in from the outside all at the same time.
It was disorientating.
"You have no idea," a deep chuckle filled the small room, and a warmth blossomed in his chest.
Love.
He was in love with this man-
But no, he didn't even know who he was…
The woman then? Was she in love?
"Why don't you tell me about it, and we can commiserate together?" the man turned, strong arms wrapping around a small waist as he buried his face into the woman's stomach. Tanjirou's cheeks were flushed, his mouth hung open slightly in shock, but the woman only smiled softly, eyes glowing with affection, hands smoothing down wild locks.
He felt like he was intruding on something he shouldn't be.
This scene was far too intimate and he didn't belong here.
'Yes you do' Tanjirou panicked, looking around the room for the source of the voice, it had sounded like the woman, but he hadn't seen her lips move.
'You belong, Kamado Tanjirou.' He was confused, stuck in place as he tried to put meaning to the words.
It didn't make any sense.
He didn't know any of the people in his dreams, why should he belong?
'This is your past, after all. It is a part of you,' the scene was growing dark, black encroaching on his vision. He reached out, desperately trying to hold on to the dream.
He wanted answers.
"Wait!"
Tanjirou sucked in a sharp breath as his eyes snapped open.
It was that dream again… he'd been having them since he was little. He could never hear names, or see faces, but it was always the same few people. He just didn't understand what they meant.
"Ugh," Tanjirou groaned as he stared at the grey and gloomy sky, his breath sending wisps of white to break up the grey.
He was alive.
"Nez..."
He was alive, the snow broke his fall, and he couldn't see his sister.
"Nezuko!"
Struggling to his feet, Tanjirou looked around wildly, earrings smacking against his cheeks in his fervor, dream forgotten.
This was no time to dwell on the past.
"Nez- there you are!" his relief and joy were cut short as his sister pounced, pinning him down with superhuman strength, and feral growls slipping past snarling lips. He had to bring up his hatchet to keep her from attacking, and he could clearly see the fangs as she bit at the wood.
"Wha- Nezuko…?" Tanjirou, had moved on instinct alone, and he started, somewhat dumbfounded at the growling being above him.
That was still Nezuko right?
That was still his sister?
"Nezuko, stop it!" he was crying, thick tears slipping down his cheeks as he begged, pleaded with his sister to stop. To come to her senses.
"It's me! Nezuko, it's me!-" his voice suddenly died in his throat as something wet dripped onto his face from above.
Tears.
Nezuko was crying…
Nezuko was crying! That meant she recognized him! That she wasn't fully gone!
He apologized mentally for ever doubting her, as a shaky smile tugged at his lips.
There was hope.
He could still save he-
"Nezu…ko…?" Suddenly he was staring up at the gloomy sky again, snow drifting softly down onto his face.
What just happened?
One second she was there, pink eyes trembling with grief, and the next she was gone-
Tanjirou stiffened as another scent hit his nose, someone else was there!
He sat up quickly, breath catching in his throat at the sight before him.
Nezuko was struggling, hands secured behind her back, and there was a sword pointed right at her.
Danger.
Nezuko was in danger!
"Stop it!" Tanjirou cried as he scrambled to his feet, fumbling forward on shaky legs as he rushed at the unknown man.
"Let Nezuko go!"
The girl had become a demon, there was no mistaking it, so why did he hesitate when the boy cried for him to stop?
Why did his hand tremble, and his gut churn with guilt as he held his sword to her neck?
Killing demons, it was his job, he had never hesitated before, so why now?
Why did this boy's sobbing face make him want to bring him into a hug, wipe away his tears and tell him everything was going to be okay?
"Please," the words were soft, just a whisper on the wind, but Giyuu heard them as if they had been shouted directly in his ear, his heart clenching painfully with an emotion he couldn't identify as he watched the boy bow, face in the snow.
"Please," the woman was on the floor, forehead pressed into the ground as she prostrated herself before him, pleading with him to go, to abandon her.
"Do not beg, it is beneath you," while his words were scolding, there was no heat behind them, only a deep and brutal sadness. A kind of grief that ate a person from the inside out, until only a shell of their former self remained.
He was weak.
She had lost everything , and yet he was the one left broken.
"I will not abandon you, not with him, " he hissed out the words between clenched teeth, anger burning in his gut, replacing the numbing sadness.
Anger was good.
Anger allowed him to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.
The woman did not budge, did not look up from the floor, hands clenching as she tried yet again.
"Please, Seᵩ̸̢̡͚͈̖͒̓͌͒͒̚͠ᴧ̷̢̩̝̪̣̝͑̅ᵽ̷͚̪͆͂ -san, go. He will kill you if you do not leave now, I overheard him talking with Doma. You must live, so go." He moved forward, knees dropping heavily to the ground as his hands found their way to her shoulders, forcing her to sit up and look him in the eye.
"What about you?" his gaze was searching, flicking over every feature of her face, looking for what, he wasn't entirely sure. Her smile was serene, cheeks dusted with red from the chilly weather, eyes glowing with a calm peacefulness that he could not begin to comprehend.
How could she put on that sort of expression still?
After all that had happened?
All that she had suffered?
Still she put everyone before herself, still she tried to save everyone but herself.
"I'll be fine, I promise," her hand cupped his cheek, and he could not help but to lean into that warmth, to savor it.
'Liar.'
It would be the last time he would get to bask in her glow, he could feel it in his gut.
This was goodbye.
"Don't be reckless," she chuckled, and he burned the sound into his memory.
"I promise," he swallowed back the angry retort, knowing it would not change anything. She had made up her mind, and there was no changing it.
He made a promise to himself though, that he would do it right in the next life.
He would protect her, no matter what.
He would not run away, ever again.
'You're such a liar, En-'
Giyuu sucked in a sharp breath, anger broiling in his gut as he yelled, the vision of that unknown woman superimposing itself onto the boy, stoking the flame of his rage.
He didn't understand why seeing the boy like this made him so angry, or what the woman had to do with it, but he didn't have the time to ponder it, not with a struggling demon in his grasp.
"Get up! Never give other's the chance to murder you!" his eyes were blazing, biting words tumbling from his lips before he could stop them. "Stop begging and get up! How can you expect to heal your sister when all you can do is grovel?!" the boy sat up, mouth agape, eyes glistening with tears and yet the words still flew from his mouth like daggers, a displaced anger- from where he did not know- taking over his actions. "If that was in any way effective, your family would still be alive right now!" he took a step forward, gripping the demon tighter. "The weak have no rights! Their only fate is to be relentlessly crushed by the strong!"
You were weak. You fled, you ran away when she needed you the most. You let her die.
Giyuu ignored that strange voice yet again, he didn't have time to worry about it.
"Demons will not listen to your wants or wishes! They will not grant mercy if you beg! That's just reality! It is your own weakness that led to your sister's capture!" Giyuu glared, clenching his teeth tight as more tears fell from ruby eyes.
He didn't like it, it felt wrong, seeing that face, twisted in grief.
'Don't cry… now is not the time to despair.'
His knuckles were white, his grip on his sword far too tight as he brought it down, stabbing the demon in the chest, making the boy cry out as he stood, flinging a rock at Giyuu's face.
'Yes, stand. Stand and fight for what you want!'
There was no chance the boy could beat him, yet pride blossomed in his chest as he watched him try anyway, impressed even as he was knocked out, falling into the snow and the hatchet flying through the air towards his head.
'Perhaps there is hope for you yet, Kamado Tanjirou… I will put my faith in you, don't let me down... I will not fail to protect you, not this time-'
Giyuu faltered in his steps, as he walked to lean against a tree, waiting for the unconscious siblings to wake up.
'Where did that come from? What are these strange visions?'
He didn't have an answer, but he was determined to find one.
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。(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ💖