Chapter One
MacHall Hall – Seattle.
"Text me and I'll come and pick you up." Wickham said.
"Thank you." I answered and stepping out, felt annoyed he didn't bother to open the door for me as I'd hoped he would. He always used to do that in the past but now? No. MacHall was one of the most attractive theaters Seattle was known for and when I looked at the building, I didn't hear how my boyfriend rumble the engine before he drove away. This went in one ear and out the other as I took a step forward and slowly approached the theater. The winter snow was starting to paint the earth and I was thankful I was blessed to have a nice manager who let me have this chance to perform. I only wished he could have been here rather than my boyfriend. The sound of his car disappeared from my hearing as I walked up to the building. It was in the afternoon and the performance was going to be in the evening but as anyone would have guessed; performers needed to be there early.
I was taken to the back way and thankful none of the pedestrians were nearby, I made my way up towards the grand theater. It was a different feeling as a gust of wind brushed up against me. I gathered my jacket around me and was thankful I was wearing enough clothing for the season! Winter in Seattle was something else and along with all the mountains, forests, and rivers, I was happy knowing I'd been blessed to live here! Again: a gust of snow brushed up against me as I was making my way up. Backstage was always something I liked most about theater and I wouldn't have it any other way! By this point, I was standing in front of the glass doors. Thankful the wind died down, I reached out and opening the door, heard sounds as the backstage crew started to chat as I entered.
"This is going to be one of the best performances Seattle has ever seen!" One of the men said as I passed by. I noticed he was wearing a black outfit and I knew he was one of the stagehands. I didn't bother much with chatting with them because I needed to make my over to the Grand Piano. This evening's show was going to be for the Nutcracker but I wasn't going to perform for the actual ballet! No! It was a concert and the performers were playing several Christmas songs. Nutcracker was one of them and when I heard about the show, I sent a request if I could apply to perform! And the response I received was one I was happy for!
Walking around a corner, I noticed a flight of stairs and with my music bag slung over my shoulder, I sighed before I made my way up. The other performs, mostly musicians, didn't bother to chat with me and I knew I was lonely as I walked up the steps. How often did I feel this way whenever I was ignored? I wanted to look over my shoulder and hoping someone would follow me… a handsome young man mostly… and ask where I was going and if he could follow me… but I saw none. Not even my boyfriend did this… all he ever did was briefly say hello and then farewell… as if I was of no importance to him!
"No wonder I find him irritating. He's not taking the relationship where I want him to!" I thought as I continued my walk up. The music bag was on my shoulder as I made my way to the second floor. The hallway was brightened by the lights as I made my way to the dressing room which was assigned to me. The other performers, as mentioned before, chatted amongst themselves. When I approached the room which was mine, I reached out and opening it, entered the room. There was the fragrance of cinnamon and roses and this reminded me of the piece I was doing to perform! Making my way over to the desk, I placed my bag down before I stared at myself in the mirror.
"Last minute checks." I thought to myself as I narrowed my eyes.
"The makeup is on as well as the fake eye lashes. I'm thankful for the curls and for this lovely dress!" I peered at the gown and smiled when I remembered I was wearing a purple feminine dress! Taking my jacket off, I placed it on the chair before I reached over and unzipping the bag, took out the music sheets and scanned them.
"Pas de Deux by Peter Tchaikovsky. One of the most romantic pieces he ever composed! I'm honored to play such a piece he was blessed to compose!" I thought as I continued to re-check the sheets. I always liked doing this to calm myself whenever a show appeared! Voices from the other performers were heard outside and I briefly paused when there was a knock.
"Yes?" I asked as I returned the sheets to the bag.
"Who is it?"
"Miss Lizzy Bennet? It's me! Drosselmier! May I come in?"
The kindly gentleman who answered my email when I'd asked him about performing was here! And he was also a relative of my mother's! I smiled as I rose as I answered. "Of course! Do come in!"
The door opened and the wonderful gentleman, who could be loved for appearing like a Grandfather, entered and when he saw me, he smiled as he answered. "Thank you for doing so, Miss Stahlbaum! Are you ready for your performance?"
"Yes, sir! That I am! The program mentioned I am to play third?"
"Yes. That's how the director informed us was to happen. There were so many auditions for tonight I'm surprised we have a full house! I'm sure you're aware of that?"
"Yes; that I am." I replied and folded my arms. Narrowing my eyes, I continued.
"I know how auditions are and I remember how Mr. Ginger (the director) asked me to audition after you received my email."
"Yes. I remember how he informed me your fingers glided across the keys as if you were dancing!" Mr. Drosselmier replied. He was one of the mangers who helped me get into the performance and for that I was grateful! Auditions to perform at MacHall were selected as if one took something out of a hat at an auction. And few were blessed enough to get in!
"Thank you for saying that, Mr. Drosselmier." I replied and he smiled at me.
"Here. I have something for you as something for you to remember your night, Miss Stahlbaum." He answered and when he approached, it was here, I didn't see he was holding something in his hands. Making his way over to me, he held out a small medium box. He smiled with a little pink to his cheeks as he explained.
"I hope you will enjoy your Christmas present. This was found in storage and Mr. Ginger informed the staff that this was from your mother, Lizzy. We all remember how you received her gift for playing the piano! I'm sure she would have wanted you to have this if she were here."
He said this in a tone which almost erased my earlier enthusiasm. Mama had passed on not too long ago and my family, Fritz and Papa, tried to maintain our relationship but something took place which caused a dent in our communication. We saw each other on Christmas and New Year's but throughout the year it was on rare occasions that I saw any of them! Christian Drosselmier was my mother's brother and he was the only relative who seemed to keep in touch with me after mama's death. He was also the one who helped me establish my living in Seattle and that waitress job which was bothering! Turning to him, I smiled as I gently answered. "Thank you, Drosselmier; I'll open it once I'm finished here."
"And I should be moving along. They need me to help with lighting. Blessings to you, Lizzy." My Uncle finished before he planted a kiss to my forehead. Though I was 24, I smiled and thanked him for the kiss. After he left, I placed the present on the table and saw how elaborate the wrapping paper was.
"Strange how Uncle informed me it was from mama. She wanted me to have this?" I thought as I took a glance at my watch. The performance was to start at 7 but it was only 6:15.
"I have time to open this." I thought and reaching out, I unwrapped the present. When I lifted the lid, I gasped when a handsome Nutcracker Doll lay before me. I remembered the story of the Nutcracker but at that moment, there was a knock on the door and turning, I called.
"Yes?"
"Miss Bennet? You're needed for some instructions about the Grand Piano. Have a minute?" It was one of the producers and returning the Nutcracker to the box, I left the lid off as I replied.
"Yes! I'm on my way!"
Peering at him, his wooden form, those large eyes and that jaw, I whispered.
"Stay here, would you? I will return and check on you later."
Then I rose and exited the dressing room. The performance would start at 7 and I was third to perform. The Pas de Deux would be the composition I was to play.
7:45 P.M.
"Alright, Lizzy; you're up next. You ready?" My mother's brother asked as I stood in the wing.
I nodded and was thankful the thumping of my heart was calm. I kept in mind the Treble Clef and Base as I rolled my shoulders back as the audience applauded the second performer. He played another famous Christmas song and it was "The Little Drummer Boy."
As the applause continued, I leaned in towards my uncle as I asked. "Do you remember those times when we used to sing them at home? Fritz always rolled his eyes when he knew he would be asked to sing! I do like the song, though!"
"Yes, Lizzy; I do remember that." My uncle replied and he looked at me and smiled.
Then my turn came and I felt my Uncle Drosselmier's hand on my shoulder. Rolling my shoulders back, I stepped on the stage and smiled once my name was announced. The Grand Piano stood before me and after I bowed, I seated myself and gazed at the keys. Then as the audience fell into a silent hush, I placed my fingers on the keys and inhaling deeply, closed my eyes as the first notes of Pas de Deux began.
As I played, I envisioned how the Nutcracker Prince approached Lizzy in the Kingdom of Sweets. After their adventure, he steps over to her, and bowing, extends his hand to her as he asks. "May I have this dance, my lady?"
And she in turn, smiles sweetly at him as she replied. "Yes; you may, your majesty."
"No, indeed, Lizzy! It is you who have given me the honor of this dance!' He says as he leads her to the center of the palace's ballroom. All the subjects turn and pause and watch in awe as their king and queen make the grandest appearance the kingdom has ever soon! I opened my eyes and zooned the audience out as I played the song and it was as if the very figure of the Nutcracker was there before me! I smiled as I continued to play when his figure was standing across from me. I blinked when he folded his arms and he kept his focus on me. I nearly paused at the end of Pas de Deux! My heart leapt when I tried to keep my focus on my playing but his gaze was strong. Then I inwardly shook myself to focus on the song. I didn't want to miss a note and the figure of the Nutcracker, who stood to the side curtain, could be something from my imagination. When the song was finished, I heard the applause and turning, rose and bowed. I thanked the audience before I turned and exited. My heart was pounding when I returned to the side of the stage and my uncle Drosselmier hadn't moved a muscle when he said.
"Well done, Lizzy! The Pas de Deux was wonderful! Would you like to wait out in the lobby or stay and watch the other performers?"
"I would prefer not to get in the way." I answered.
"Alright. I'll send for someone to collect you when it's time for the final curtain."
"Thank you, Uncle Drosselmier." I replied and then after giving him a kiss, made my way out. The exit doors were large and I was thankful no one seemed to be following me. Not even my boyfriend would do something like this. Once I was out in the main hall, I thought about what I should next. The other performers were performing and this gave me some time to take a breather.
"I haven't been to MacHall for quite some time and perhaps I should look around." I thought when I noticed the staircase that lead to the area where performers would be. Deciding to do that, I made my way down and picking up the skirts, walked down the stairs and I couldn't help but feel I was more like a queen stepping out of her palace chamber and into the area where the subjects were. The hallway was decorated in Christmas decorations and I loved how the fragrance was of cinnamon and miseltoe! Making my way over to the Christmas tree, I placed my hands behind my back as I stared up at the star. I was reminded of the Christ Child and how He came to save us all and I loved this most about Christmas! If anything: it was the main purpose of Christmas! As I continued to stare at the decoration, I was the receptionist, who was to the left of the tree, paused in his movements as he asked. "Miss? Aren't you one of the performers?"
"Yes. That I am. My part was finished." I replied as I peered around at him.
"I see. What do you think about the tree?"
"It's grand. I like how the crew decorate it. Why do you ask?"
"This one was one of the trees which was found in storage. I'm sure you know your uncle mentioned to you about the Nutcracker which was your mother's?"
Hearing the mention of my mother, I nodded as I replied. "Yes. He gave me the doll before my performance."
"Your mother was a fine woman, Lizzy. We all loved her and we miss her terribly."
"As I'm sure everyone does." I thought but I thanked the receptionist his sympathy. Mama had passed away and the loss was still there. It was because of her our family broke away. Fritz and papa only visited every now and then and it was my boyfriend was the only connection I had with what I would call "real family" but he never was enough. Nor was he everything!
"Thank you." I replied but I didn't want to think about my mother. The loss hurt so much it was all I could do but wish I could rewind the clock and bask in mom's presence! She held the family together and was always there whenever any of us needed her! I returned my attention to the Christmas star and thought I heard a voice call my name.
"Lizzy."
I blinked when I peered over at the receptionist before I asked. "Did you say something?"
"No, Miss Lizzy1 I did not." The man answered.
"Oh." I replied before I shrugged my shoulders. Peculiar how I thought someone called me but I didn't reflect on this. The way the Christmas star stood above reminded me of my mother. This hurt too much so I had to look away. Her far off voice seemed to speak to me as I made my way away from the receptionist. A few of the other performers came and passed by me but all I could think about was my mom. Marie was such a feminine name and it was powerful! I missed mom so much and I felt alone without her. I made it to the set of stairs and placing my hand on the railing, I paused when I reflected on something I remember mom would have said to comfort me.
"Do not let anything disturb you, Lizzy. I'm always with you and I never want you to forget that. Nor do I want you to forget how much I love you."
"Yes. I know that, mom." I softly replied as if she were standing beside me. I felt the tears I'd suppressed starting to come but I pushed them aside. I didn't want to cry and mess the makeup so I rolled my shoulders back. The applause of the audience sounded from the auditorium and I knew Curtain call would come sooner than I expected. It was because of mom I received her musical talent. As I started to make my way up the stairs, again I thought I heard a voice call my name.
"Lizzy."
I peered over my shoulder and bounced my eyes around the first floor. A few of the performers, the receptionist, the snow painting the world outside… no one seemed to have called me... yet that voice was heard but I saw no one who would have spoken my name.
"Nah." I thought as I brushed this aside before I continued to walk up the stairs.
When I was standing on the second floor, a voice called my name and I knew who he was.
"Lizzy! We're about ready for the final curtain! Are you ready?" It was my Uncle Drosselmier and turning to him, I nodded as I replied. "Yes, indeed, Uncle! I am!" But I paused when I noticed he seemed to narrow his eyes. He looked over my shoulder and he seemed to be looking for someone.
"You looking for someone, uncle?' I asked and I looked behind me. There was only the hallway and this lead to the dressing rooms for the performers. There was only the lights and the tiled floor; nothing of enthrallment.
"Actually – I am! Whatever happened to the Nutcracker I gave you, Lizzy?" he asked.
"The one you gave me? He should be my dressing room. I left him there before I performed. Why do you ask?"
"Because he's been seen backstage, Lizzy." My uncle answered and I widened my eyes at him in disbelief! My jaw dropped a bit when I asked. "He is what?!"
"Don't believe me? You will see for yourself when he speaks with you later." My uncle answered and here I remembered seeing a Nutcracker standing across from me earlier. But I thought it was only a figment of my imagination because I played the Pas de Deux! A very romantic song and one of my favorites! Yet my Uncle was informing me the Nutcracker was going to chat with me?!
"You're making this up, Uncle!" I answered and I gave him a little push. But my Uncle didn't seem to take this lightly when he answered.
"Ah, my dear, Lizzy! Don't underestimate the Nutcracker! He's got a thing or two up his sleeve if it concerns you!"
"Drosselmier! We're about ready for Curtain call! The show's nearly over! Coming?" A man in black announced. I recognized him as one of the stage hands. My Uncle Drosselmier answered he was coming but he gestured for me to follow. I knew curtain call was here but I was still wondering about how my uncle mentioned the Nutcracker was going to chat with me? And he was seen backstage?
"I hope he wasn't making a show of himself." I thought as I followed behind Uncle. "If anything: Nutcracker can be a bit clumsy because of his enormous size and that jaw of his!"
Entering through a doorway, I soon found myself standing behind my Uncle as the both of waited for Curtain Call. The other performers were already around us and I found it amazing how fast the show was! In some way, I lamented the fact my boyfriend wasn't there to watch the show! And I would prefer that my Subway manager would have replaced him! I brushed my dress a bit as the director made his way on the stage. After he let the audience pause with their clapping he let the performers appear as he called each one off the program when he began with the first.
"Lizzy Bennet who performed the famous Tchaikovsky piece of Pas de Deux." He announced. When I made my presence, the audience clapped and the spot light appeared as I approached. I smiled before I stood beside the director. He turned to me as he added. "And for a special treat: we would like the Nutcracker to come forward to give you a bouquet of flowers for your performance, Miss Stahlbaum!"
Then as the audience watched, I heard a gasp when a Nutcracker stepped out from the left side of the stage and in his hands, he carried in them a bouquet of flowers. As delighted as I was, I remembered him from before when I was playing the Pas de Deux. He kept his eyes on me as the director continued with a speech.
"Ladies and Gentlemen? I'm sure some of you know the history of this Nutcracker. He is one of the most well beloved characters of the story and since Lizzy played this loving piece – we thought it would be rewarding we give her a loving reminder of her performance tonight! Lizzy?"
"Yes?" I asked.
"Nutcracker is here to give you your flowers. And to thank you for awakening him from his slumber."
Remembering what Uncle informed me about how he would chat with me, I smiled as Nutcracker held the bouquet of flowers to me. Thinking he was one of the stage hands wearing the costume, I accepted the flowers as I spoke to the Nutcracker. "Thank you very much for the flowers! They're perfect!"
The audience was watching us as he gave them me. The director took a step back and for a moment, I thought it strange no one was saying anything. When I peered at the Nutcracker, he still hadn't taken his eyes off of me.
"He must be one of the stage hands." I thought so I politely turned away as the director continued with the other performers. Soon all of us were standing on the stage and we bowed when the audience gave their final applause. The fragrance from the flowers gave the aroma of cinnamon mixed with something else which I liked. I couldn't help but look at them and I smiled. As the curtain started to close, I waved with the other performers when the song James Penguin by Brad Paisley played our exit. It was one of the songs I actually liked and turning to the director, I was able to say to him amongst the other voices of the performers.
"Thank you so much for letting me perform! It was a blessing! Thank you for these flowers! Did you select them?'
"No, Miss Stahlbaum! The Nutcracker did!" The director answered and he gestured for the Nutcracker to come over. He hadn't moved much from where I'd left him when I was announced for the curtain call. I watched as he made his way over as the director said. "He's the one you should thank, Lizzy; he did the selecting of the flowers before curtain call. I'm sure you the two of you will enjoy each other!"
"We'll enjoy each other?" I thought to myself as the Nutcracker came over. He surely was making himself known because when he stood beside the director, the director finished.
"Have a blessed week, Lizzy and Nutcracker?" He looked at him as he added, nudging him. "It's good to see you again."
"Glad to be here too." The large headed Nutcracker replied and I gasped when he spoke.
"We need to perform something over here! Would you all care to step aside?" One of the stage hands called. Here, I peered past the Nutcracker when I realized one of the stage hands was doing something with a stage prop. Taking a step over towards him, I asked.
"Leo? What is it?"
"Miss Stahlbaum! Your uncle asked that we give Snowflake a run through! You remember how the effects are ripped pieces of plastic bags?"
"Yes."
"Well: we need to run it through because of the Nutcracker performance next week! Would you like to watch?"
"I wouldn't mind." I replied.
The stage hand, along with the director, started to chat as they exited. The rest of the performers, men and women, also were leaving and I found myself alone with the Nutcracker. Assuming he was one of the stage hands wearing a costume, I turned to him and smiling, held my hand out as I said. "I want to thank you for giving me these flowers! They are gorgeous and I like how you selected them!"
Here, he took my hand but I felt how he didn't seem to take those eyes from mine. And when he blinked his eyes seemed to have a longing in them as he answered. "Lizzy? I want to thank you for awakening me. You played Pas de Deux just like your mother did."
The mention of mom hurt and when I tried to release my hand, the Nutcracker only held on tighter as I replied. "Well… I learned from the best… she taught me and…"
"You look just like her, Lizzy." He softly whispered and I looked at him. Was I mistaken or did those eyes seem real? I still thought he was one of stage hands so I played along with him.
"Men and women have said that about me. I carry on her features."
"No, Lizzy… you look just like Marie." He answered softly and his hand loosened a bit.
I didn't want to think about mom so when I felt him lighten his hand, I took this a chance to pull away as I answered. "Well, Nutcracker… I should be moving along. My boyfriend is going to come and pick me up and I need to be back before the hour is late."
"You know I'm coming with you?" he said suddenly and turning to him, I assumed he was making a joke of this and I actually laughed.
"You're coming with me?" I answered.
"You don't seem to remember what Drosselmier informed you about me? I would be chatting with you?" he replied and he drew his shoulders. At the same time, I watched as he held his chest out towards me. This was a joke but I couldn't brush away how he seemed to look a little hurt at my mockery. If he was one of the stage hands playing a prank: he was doing a good job of it! Looking at him, I played along with him as I took a step forward and placing my hand on his shoulder, I soothed.
"Alright. Let's just say I'll let you come with me but only to the car. I know my boyfriend won't like seeing me bring a life size Nutcracker doll with me. You'll be sitting in the back though; there's no room in the front."
"Oh, you assume I'll get in the way?" he asked.
"I'm seeing things" I thought to myself but again I went along with him as I answered.
"Yes. He has a very little car and someone like you won't be able to fit! If he had a pickup truck or something a little large – you would be able to fit!"
"Oh give me a few seconds!" the Nutcracker answered but I brushed this aside. I wouldn't let him try to impress me as I answered.
"Here; I need to be moving along! Thank you for the flowers."
Yet when I looked to where the Nutcracker stood, I was surprised when I realized he was no longer there! Instead: the wooden doll Uncle Drosselmier gave me stood in his place. I blinked when I heard a voice asked.
"Is this better?"
"Who said that?" I asked as I looked away from the doll and around the stage.
"Lizzy! Down here!"
"What?"
"Earth to Lizzy Bennet! The Nutcracker is speaking with you!"
Oh… sugar! I peered at the wooden doll and blinked as he looked at me. I was dreaming as I heard him answer.
"Lizzy? You didn't answer my question. Is this better?"
"This is nonsense! You're not alive and chatting with me!" I replied as I tried to shake myself out of it. But the Nutcracker seemed to answer my question when he replied. "And you're driving me crazy! You didn't answer my question."
"If this is a dream: I hope I'll wake up soon." I thought to myself but I turned to him as I replied.
"Yes, Nutcracker; that is better."
"Good because I don't like being in this form forever!"
"A chatting Nutcracker doll given to me from my Uncle Drosselmier? Perhaps I've spent too much time listening to mom's stories about her adventures in a kingdom!" I thought but when this thought entered, I quickly looked away as my throat started to twist. Mom always loved Christmas and she was no longer here. I quickly made the move to leave when the Nutcracker called.
"Wait! Lizzy! Take me with you!"
I tried not to laugh but turning, I peered at him and seemed to have difficulty when he tried to hold his hand towards me. He was the tiny wooden Nutcracker and when I noticed we weren't being watched, I crouched down as I answered. "You want to come with me?"
"Yes. And am I not a reasonable size to fit in the car?"
"Miss Lizzy! Best watch out! We're going to let the snowflakes fall!" Leo's voice interrupted.
When I heard a sound, I peered up and noticed the machine that held the plastic wrappings for Snowflake Scene. I reached across in time to gently take the Nutcracker in my hands at the same time the snow started to sprinkle the stage.
"They don't paint the stage the way they do in the Kingdom" I heard the Nutcracker say.
"And do take care! I don't want to be broken!"
For a moment, I stood there; holding the chatting Nutcracker as the snowflakes started to touch my face. The idea was when the ballet dancers waltzed to the song – these very snowflakes would give the illusion of snow. And the song was perfect for this and for some reason – I felt like dancing myself! The bouquet of flowers was still in my hands and I was also holding the Nutcracker. Peering at Nutcracker, who was staring at me, I asked.
"I hope you wouldn't mind if I set you aside for a moment? I'm in the mood to dance a bit."
"You may put the flowers aside but I insist on watching you." He replied and to my amazement he folded his arms. Even in his "doll form" he was speaking as if he were a king of some sort. I heard Leo call.
"Miss Lizzy! I remember how you used to dance! Can you give us grace us with your dance? I know it's been some time but could you? We'll even play Waltz of the Snowflakes if that helps!"
"Alright." I replied before I walked to the side of the stage. Placing the flowers on a side table, I heard the Nutcracker say.
"The music is going to be perfect, Lizzy. And you'll dance just like your mother."
"If my Uncle Drosselmier had too much espresso: this was one of those nights." I thought but again I went along with the Nutcracker as I answered.
"Mom always liked to dance, Nutcracker. She used to perform in the Nutcracker performance and she taught me a thing or to when I was younger."
"Yes. I know; Marie was quite a women." He softly answered and I felt how he stilled in my hands.
"Lizzy?! We don't have all evening! MacHall will be closing and we will clean this up! But can you please hurry this along?" Leo called from the other side of the stage. Or from what I knew: he was up in a room that was above the stage and it was the manager's office. With the Nutcracker in my hands, I answered.
"On my way!"