By Any Means Necessary
CH. II – A New Beginning
A/N - Back with Chapter 2, sorry for the delay, but unfortuantely, I take my time since I struggle with motivation a lot. Am real excited to post this and to get into next chapter, where finally we start getting into the relationship/pairing. Thank you very much for review, and for follows and favorites, I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Reviews are appreciated, take care.
"Don't you see...this is our sin...we have to atone for it…"
"I wanted to atone...to protect her…"
"I have to protect her...I promised...Claude...please…"
He awoke suddenly, gasping for air, his body in a cold sweat. It wasn't until he collected himself that he realized just what state he was in. His body ached all over and his muscles felt weak. He gripped at his pounding head, the words seemed to echo and swim, the last words of a dear friend. The last words of his worst enemy. The words of a desperate man, lost to this war. He could only wince.
"I'm happy to see you awake, Wallace."
He looked up at the familiar voice. He was almost taken aback at what he saw. Not just because of who it was, but of how she looked. Minerva sat beside his bedside, her long red hair done up in a bun, an eyepatch covered her left eye, while a monocle sat at her right. But most shocking of all was that she smiled at him, a genuine and beautiful smile.
"Minerva…" he winced, pain still present.
"I would advise you to take it easy."
"Minerva, just...what happened?"
She crossed her legs, looking to get more comfortable. "During our escape, we were attacked by a peculiar soldier...you were hit, and, while the wound itself wasn't life threatening, the poison that the attack carried was. After neutralizing the assailant, we managed to escape with the help of Sergeant Arbeck."
"W-wait...Miles? But, I ordered him to-"
"Retreat, yes. He disobeyed that order and came back, hoping to save us. It was a good thing too, we wouldn't have made it without him. We were caught in the explosion, but, were far enough out that we had a chance at the very least. Its a miracle, really. We sustained injuries, but, we all pulled through. You were the one in critical shape." She relaxed more, leaning onto one of the chairs arms to more comfortable face him.
Claude had shifted, laying on his side to better look at her. "So...those are from…?"
"Yes," she confirmed, "A small price for my life, I'd say."
"And...the Empire…"
"It remains," she said, seeming displeased. "At least, in name. A member of the royal family had been made to evacuate in case the worst was to come...and, it did come. Schwartzgrad is gone, and those that remain have since surrendered. The war has come to a close, Claude, we did it."
He couldn't help but return the smile she gave. But, while she smiled genuinely, he could only do so somberly. His hand shook slightly, something both of them noticed. She raised a brow, but, he simply made a fist, curling tightly as he let out a heavy breath. "So then, what now?" he had asked.
She didn't question him, something he was grateful for. "Well, for now...you rest. Because of your condition, we made sure to tie you down, so, your injuries aren't too bad. If anything you are good to go once you regain strength." He nodded, letting out a sigh. His body seemed to relax somewhat. He had survived. They all had. "Now, as for your military career," she continued. What little respite he had found was gone as he went taunt once more. She had his attention, Claude hanging on her every word.
"I'm afraid, Claude, you have been honorably discharged." Discharged? What do you mean? He didn't voice his thoughts, he couldn't, really. But, Minerva knew exactly what he thought just from his shocked expression, and honestly, she didn't blame him. "The Empire had called for a ceasefire before you had flipped the switch. Technically, the fighting should have stopped there. There is outcry from the Empire, as you might expect. That said, after all that has transpired over this war...and the fact that we were the only ones there, it is simply being chalked up as you following orders. The military, while not exactly smudging the numbers, they are protecting you. After all, you are the hero who ended the war."
"H-hero? Isn't that...a bit much, don't ya think?"
"No," she said simply, "Because that is what you are, Claude. Since the beginning, you have been instrumental in our fight." She gave a cheeky smile as she stood. "And, because of our history, I thought it only appropriate that I be the one to give you this." Her smile faded, her lips becoming a straight line as she stood with all the rigidness she had show in the military. From her pocket came a presentation case. "Captain Claude Wallace, for your bravery and service, it is my honor to award you the Federation Star of Valor." She held it out to him with both hands. It wasn't much of a ceremony, but, it was fitting.
He thanked her, taking it from her hands. She had given him many of his awards during the war, more out of circumstance, but to hear that she had to pull some strings using her family name to present him with this, with his last ever service award, it made him happy for some reason. He had to take a moment for himself, to wipe away his tears.
After collecting himself, he couldn't help but to thank her once more. She merely waved him off. "I meant it when I said 'it was my honor,' Claude. For now, I will leave you to rest, I'm sure you'll have plenty of visitors in due time once word of you waking up comes out." She had turned, ready to walk out, but just as her hand made contact with the handle to the hospital door, she seemed to freeze.
"Uh, Minerva? Are you alright?" Claude looked at her still form from his bed, curious albiet slightly worried."
"I still haven't forgiven you…" silence permeated the air at her confession. His eyes widened as he looked to her. Her shoulders slumped slightly, her head hanging a little lower. He couldn't see her face, she still keeping her back to him. "In truth, I don't think I ever will...you're the hero of the war, you know...but when we needed you most...when I needed you most...you weren't there for me...it's funny, really, I always saw you as my rival, but…in that moment, there was no one else I'd rather have to come to my aid than you and squad E…" She raised her arm, her hand going to her face, most likely to wipe away her tears. She took a meaningful breath, before she turned to him, her posture once more professional.
"But I will always be grateful. Thank you, Claude, for giving their deaths meaning." She gave him a salute. "Captain Wallace, it was a privilege, and an honor, to serve with you." She turned about face, and like that, she left.
Once outside Claude's room, Minerva closed the door, sighing heavily. "Aren't you going to go in and see him?" she asked. She didn't need to turn to see Riley leaning against the wall. The science officer merely shook her head, eliciting another sigh as Minerva took a place beside her. "And why, might I ask?"
"I...I don't know…"
Minerva's eye twitched slightly. "Don't know, huh?" The irritation was clear in her tone. "You at least ever find a reason why you saved that enemy?"
Riley seemed to shrink away. "I...I don't know, I just-"
"You felt as if it was something you had to do, right?"
"...yes…" Now it was Riley who gave a sigh. It was clear from the bags under her eyes that she hadn't slept. Despite how tired she was, she stayed posted outside Claude's door, waiting for him to wake up, waiting to know he was okay, but never once taking a step inside. "I thought...I thought I was ready."
"Ready? For what?"
"Claude and I...we talked...about using the A2...about what it meant...about what it would cost...in truth I...I didn't want to use the bomb. I felt, it was what was needed to end the war, but...I didn't want to lose Angie…They called a ceasefire, Minerva...It was over…"
Minerva's hands tightened into fists. "It wasn't. It would never be over, not as long as the Empire remained."
Riley could only nod. "I...I don't think so, but...I can't say definitively for sure, so...I don't know...it was a terrible position we were in. I can't give a reason as to why...I just...I feel as if I can't see him, not now."
"So you're angry with him?"
The blonde shook her head. "Maybe I'm just...disappointed? But...even that doesn't feel like the answer…"
"And why is that?"
"Because...I can't be disappointed in him. That's not the Claude I knew...he feels...like someone else. In the end, though...he did what he thought was best, and...I can't fault him for that."
Silence returned between the two, the both staring straight ahead.
"I think," Riley started once more, "that its because...because I couldn't save Angie that I wanted to save her." Her tone was quiet, but there was no threat of tears. Riley had shed them all a while ago, there was just no more to cry. "I didn't pull that lever, but, I still feel that weight...the blood on my hands...after all, it was my father's research that led to the A2s development...it was because I finished it that the Federation weaponized Angie...you know why my father was killed, right?"
"It was over your father's research, correct? An imperial scientist?"
Riley nodded, a seriousness to her features. "I was there...when it happened. The man who did it was named Heinrich Belgar…"
"Belgar? That's the same name that enemy called. You think they're the same person?"
"I don't know, " came as another tired sigh. "Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised...not with how the Empire also weaponized Valkyria, and their new ragnite technologies in their more advanced tanks. But the way they had gone about it...it wasn't right...not that how we did so was any better, but...the Winter Witch was...unstable...and that soldier in the capitol…"
Minerva could see where she was going. "We both weaponized the power of the Valkyria...but where we used their power to augment our fighting powers, they augmented the Valkyria to boost their power."
Riley nodded, looking to the bespectacled officer. "They were...not just unstable, but, completely unhinged. Something was done to them, and, when I saw that soldier, that girl, I just...I thought of Angie...I thought...she too was a victim...a victim of this war, and...I just felt as if I needed to try and save her."
So, that is why, Minerva thought, it was because of guilt. She calmed, finding no need to be angry at her anymore. The war changed them, all of them. It made sense, really, to try and hold onto something. Riley simply wanted to do what she thought was right, take responsibility. Minerva's thoughts drifted to Claude. We all need something...but what does Claude have now? Without the military, Minerva doesn't know what she'd do, but he…
Minerva shook her head.
Riley stepped away from the wall. Claude was awake. There were no complications. He was fine. So now...there was no reason for her to be here. "I'll take my leave, Minerva. I'm sorry, but, I just...I don't feel like I can see him. If you can, would you please let him know?"
"Sure," Minerva said plainly. Riley smiled to her before turning away. What was next for her? Truly, she didn't know. All she knew is how she felt, and felt as if it was time for a change. She wanted to make a difference, a positive one in the world. That is how she can atone for her part in the war.
Once Riley turned a corner, Minerva slumped against the wall. She said she would but really, she didn't think she could tell Claude, not even if she wanted to. Thankfully, however, she didn't have to. She gave a quiet apology before fully closing the door, the small crack she left having gone unnoticed by Riley.
Letting loose an exasperated breath, Minerva shook her head. There was still plenty to be done.
"-Claude?"
He blinked.
"Huh? Uh, yeah, sorry, I guess I spaced out a bit…"
Leena sat back down, worry clear on her features. "It's fine. Everything still sinking in, I take it?" She was happy to hear that he was awake, but, by the time she had gotten to actually see him, he had already been awake a short while, already been told much of what happened then, and what happens next. He shared as much with her, and she shared how the rest of Squad E was doing following the war's conclusion. Seemed lots of celebrations had been had in Squad E's honor. She had joked that it seemed as if they'd never have to pay for their own drinks for as long as they lived."
It had gotten a chuckle from him, but, amidst their laughs and conversation, his mind had seemed to wander.
"Yeah, I just...have a lot on my mind."
She nodded, wearing a sour expression. "How ridiculous of the brass," she started, "its' ridiculous how they think they can treat you like that. Use you up and throw you out when you've served your purpose."
Claude could only shake his head. It really didn't matter all that much, not when they had all planned to leave military after the war anyway, he explained. "Even still, pretty ungrateful of them" she defended.
For some reason, this too elicited a laugh from her former leader, his response causing her to raise a brow curiously. "Sorry," he said, wiping away a tear, "it's just that...just…" His expression faltered, sadness creeping in, "..,that sounded very much like how Raz would've reacted." Leena could only smile at this, but, it was clear there was hurt hidden just underneath. Maybe I shouldn't have said that…
"If anything, I'd imagine him being much more heated. We'd have to cool him down before he did something stupid." He nodded, returning her smile. "That idiot would make it the entire war only be court-martialed after the fact...that idiot…" a bit of warmth creeped into her smile now as well. She cleared her throat, wiping at her watery eyes.
The conversation shifted to their friends. Not the ones who came back, but, the ones who didn't. Tears were shed, laughs were shared, any and all emotions they've held in this entire time came to the surface. And with each feeling exposed, a little more of the weight the two of them had been carrying seemed to dissipate. It hadn't been more than an hour hour on conversing before fatigue seemed to set in for the two, they both feeling emotionally drained.
"So," she said, her voice quiet, "what now, leader?"
"Honestly...I don't know...I'm open for suggestions, though."
Leena merely stayed quiet. She had already put some thought into it, already talked about it with Riley, but honestly, she just didn't want to say.
"I...I thought about returning home...to Hafen, but...I don't think I can." She was fighting with herself, he could see. He didn't push, instead choosing to wait patiently to continue. "I just don't feel like...that's home anymore. I feel like...being there will just remind me too much...of Raz, and my brother. And...because of what I've done, I…"
Claude reached out, and held her shaking hands. "'This is our sin...we have to atone for it.'"
Leena's eyes widened. She knew those crazed words. She would never forget them for as long as she lived. "Those are...my brother's words…"
"Yeah...I don't know why, but I've been thinking about him a lot. Forseti...Kai...whoever he was...he was so far removed from the man we had cared for...What he had seen, what he had done...he was raging his own war. I don't think we'll ever fully understand what drove him to those lengths, but...it's clear he lost himself in it. I feel...kinda similar."
"Like...you lost yourself?"
"More like…" That's not the Claude I know...he feels… like someone else "I feel like...I don't really know who I am right now. I don't think I am all that different, but, when I think about home, about Hafen...I can tell I'm not the same man as I was when I left there to join the war. It feels like...I don't know, like, I don't deserve Hafen."
Leena nodded, understanding the sentiment. "I don't think its so much like we don't deserve Hafen...everyone deserves to have a place they call home...it's just that...Hafen no longer feels like that home anymore. "
"Exactly," he agreed. "It hurts to think about. We all promised that we'd come home. But, that just seems like a distant dream now."
"It seems like you're set on it. Not that I can blame you. That said, I'm sure Riley wouldn't be all that pleased about us not wanting to return."
Claude could only wince, something she noticed. "I'm sure she will understand," he had said, failing to cover his emotions. Deadeye could see something was up, but, she decided not to press it. Riley herself seemed distant after the events that transpired. Maybe something happened? In the end, though, it was between them. She could only nod. "You," he started once more, "now that I think about it...Forseti never had any intention of returning to Hafen either…"
He could feel Leena going stiff at the mention of Forseti, but, after a deep breath, she seemed to relax once more, squeezing his hand. Claude returned the action, giving her some strength. "Yeah...he planned to go off to some neutral territory...Him, me, and Angie...He'd make us a new home…"
"Maybe that's what we need. Somewhere to go to start again."
"Maybe, but...right now, I don't think that I can." She removed her hand from his. "Thank you, Claude, but...I think I need time to find myself, somewhere out there, you know?"
He could only nod.
She had made to leave, only to be stopped by him. "You're a dear friend, Leena…I think...I'll go on ahead, make that place myself...and if ever you need a place to belong, then...well, you can find one there…"
She was silent for a moment. "...you'll go on ahead, huh…" she smirked, "Well of course you will, you're a scout, aren't you? And, don't forget...It's Kai"
And with that, Sergeant Major Kai Schulen took their leave.
A knock came from his hospital door. "Come in," he had called.
Minerva stepped through, "You wanted to see me, Claude?"
"Yeah, sorry for calling to you…I have a request, or...more so, a favor to ask of you, I guess."
Minerva nodded her head. She closed the door to the room, allowing the two their privacy.
Outside, the sun had set, and night had taken its place in the sky. Clouds obscured the moon, and the smell of rain was present. There was a storm coming.