The Inspector - An Inspector Calls Fanfiction

by Pete Standing Alone

I have had multiple dreams/nightmares about the characters from Inspector calls being on The Apprentice. I took no notice of this at first, but gradually the dreams became more frequent and vivid, until I was lucid dreaming in the boardroom, watching this story play out. To me these characters might as well be real, and I hope if I share this story this will lay them to rest. Ty :)

2. Act 2

Act 2: El Dorado

Stage directions: Crackbeard flies sheila and the Elephant Man through the hills of vietnam and to the lofty heights of el Dorado. The glimmering lights blinded them all as they planted their dirty feet on the streets of gold

Sheila: Alright guys, we all got the right vaccines to be here. I got vaccinated for aids and cholera before coming on the show because I knew Ra would be there and birds carry lots of disease

Crackbeard: Arr yeah, me scurvy is flarin' up. Anyway, we should go and find my favourite local shithole and start digging fer it

Sheila: Well I'm a woman and if the elephant man fucks he's gonna need one of us to support his head. So could you go and sample the poon houses while we wait

Crackbeard: When I see a great chest I open it wide and put my plank in it rough. I fuck like a neanderthal

Stage directions: Sheila and the elephant man sit on the golden docks and dip their ankles in the lake filled with gold leaf

Sheila: Elephant man, I'm sure there's a beautiful face under that shroud that permeates itself on your troubled mind

Elephant man: In my world, the devil dances next to my bed. When everyone turns and runs away I cry inside. My tears are stuck in this fleshy prison, not long left for me I hope

Sheila: Don't keep living in the chimney. My dad has loads of money, I can get you help. You are wise beyond your years and that transcends any disability

Stage directions: Crackbeard returns, high out of his mind

Sheila: You fucking mollusk! You spent all the money on gold tar heroin!?!

Crackbeard: Shut ya mouth land lickers. I just had me a £500 drug shopping haul! I didn't come here for gold, I love crack!

Sheila: O shid I'm not that angry because I'm actually a part of the upper crust and I love coke. Can I have a bit of that please my good fellow?

Crackbeard: Yep, I'm like Oscar Wilde. But instead of shoving stiff cocks up me arse, it's drugs!

Stage directions: Sheila and Crackbeard start to get indulged in the illegal drugs shopping haul as the elephant man sits on the dock

Crackbeard: Sheila you absolute smack addict! I only take 1 kg of heroin everyday, you have well out done me. Your dad 'as taught ya well!

Sheila: My veins have never felt more alive

Elephant man: What in the lords name do I bare witness to? God has played a blemish on my life but I still look after it, he has given you too perfect bodies which you just destroy? At least do the tasks you junkies

Sheila: Uhhh fine.. I was just enjoying myself! Right you two, stay here I'll use my last 50 million pounds to get any old shit. I couldn't give a fuck about the inspector, I bet he's Jewish

Stage directions: Sheila wonders into a dark alley

Sheila: Inspector?!?

Stage directions: The inspector offers no thoughts, no words. Instead he plunges into her pussy like a stone

Sheila: Alan stop it! Please, you're hurting me! Inspector Goole put your member away, someone help!!!

Crackbeard: Arr what's a goin on? We came as soon as we heard ya screamin'

Sheila: I'm getting done u- oh? How strange. He's gone. It was the inspector but how'd he escape? This alley only has one entrance, we would've seen him escape!

Crackbeard: Reasonable grounds yer gotta have before yer make these allegations, arr

The elephant man: Wait guys, look in that golden trash can.. it looks like a fleshlight?

Stage directions: Crackbeard pulls it out and sucks the cum out of it

Crackbeard: Still warm! It's a limited edition suckudry! Made of gold! Looks like someone just did a cum and run, for such a beautiful item, what er disgustin' individual. Fleshlight is the new and innovative way to choke your chicken! With their massive range of sex toys for your massive penis, right now I'm using the ice lady but I have a different fleshlight for every day of the week! Use code "crack" at checkout for 10% off!!

The elephant man: what 0 pussy does to a mfer

Sheila: Guys this is great! The golden fleshlight! It was given to jesus at his 18th birthday because he was such a virgin

Elephant man: Yep, the Inspectors gonna love this! I feel like he's a virgin since he enjoys crashing other peoples lives and no one likes a snitch

Crackbeard: Great, we got high and found a golden pussy. That's like well good cos I don't really care about the task, the only thing on my mind is smack

Sheila: Yeah, let's get out of el Dorado. I like gold and all but having everything made of gold is probably really bad for the stock market and it's doing me' head 'in