(A/N: This chapter title is a paraphrased line from Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. Liz Gillies did a really beautiful cover of this song so if you haven't heard it already, check it out on YouTube)

Tori:

Wednesday January 7th Feeling: Doomed

Dear Diary,

Sikowitz asked us to keep records of how our experiences are going with the semester project, the good and the bad and so far I'm estimating that anyone reading this back will see it as akin to a Greek Tragedy with fewer funky beards. Jade and I have been tasked with co-parenting a baby, a robot one, but it sure cries like the real deal! Jade stormed off from our meeting on Monday and other than to hand over Rachel (the baby) I haven't seen her outside of class.

Trina ditched me on Monday night so I had to catch a ride with Andre and Grandma. He was in such a good mood, having been paired with Beck, that he didn't seem to mind his Grandma claiming the robot would become self aware and try to murder him in his sleep before going on to enslave the rest of humanity. Surprisingly, that's actually one of her more plausible fears, though that's not particularly saying a lot.

Monday night was definitely a rocky one. Rachel comes with a bottle that has a microchip in that reacts with her to show she's being fed and then she, herself, has sensors to indicate if she's being mishandled, been burped sufficiently, that sort of thing. She even releases water when she pees which I was not happy to discover when my lap suddenly felt very wet in the middle of my favourite episode of That's a Drag. She has a microphone too, it can sense when she's being talked to and soothed as she cries. I don't know what I expected but it definitely wasn't for it to be quite this realistic. She cried for four hours in the middle of the night and even though I tried everything I could think of, it still wasn't enough. It was so bad that Trina threatened to throw her out the window if she didn't stop interrupting her beauty sleep.

I got to school on Tuesday exhausted and hoping to find a better system with Jade but she just took Rachel and her supplies and left. I think she's avoiding me, which any other day would be kind of a blessing but we need to work together for the good of the project. I'm going to confront her, consequences be damned, though it may mean that I write my next entry from the ICU. Wish me luck!

Jade:

Wednesday January 7th Feeling: Stabby

First things first, I think diaries are stupid and I'm not gonna bother with all that crap where I address this thing as a person and then stare off into space, all angsty. This isn't the damn Vampire Diaries. Also, I know I'm gonna have to hand this in for grading at the end of the semester so I'll try to keep it PG13 but I write what I feel and sometimes that feeling is fucked off. For instance, on Monday when Tori tried to make herself feel all self important by making it out like she is in any way comparable to Beck in my life. I mean seriously, who does she think she is?! The fact that she thinks just because I don't try to gut her with my scissors every time she touches me that we have anything more than an acquaintanceship is insanity. She doesn't know me and that's very much how I plan to keep it. She comes into MY school, fluttering her big brown Disney eyes and expects everyone to bow down at her feet, begging to be her friend. Everyone else might be sucker enough to fall for that schtick but not me! I just need to get through this semester with as little contact with her as necessary and then it's off to NYU and I never have to see her again. Happy days are here at last...or at least they will be come graduation. Whatever, you know what I meant!

By the Thursday, the situation had definitely not improved. Despite Tori's many attempts at cornering Jade during their infant exchange and after class, Jade proved to be a better escape artist than Houdini himself, evading her overly-friendly pursuer two days in a row already and fully intending to make it a straight hattrick. She'd even taken to eating lunch in her car just to avoid having to sit with Tori in the Asphalt Café. It was during one such lunch break that Tori found herself turning to the two people who knew Jade the most. She wandered into the courtyard, tray in hand and slotted herself in between Beck and Cat.

"Guys, I need your help"

The pair looked slightly startled at the sudden intrusion but their expressions swiftly morphed into concern at Tori's bid for help.

"What's wrong, Tori?" Cat asked.

"Well, I think there's something up with Jade, she seems to be avoiding me even more than usual. She's been acting weird ever since we got our assignment from Sikowitz but we're partners and I've got no idea how we're going to make this work if she can't even stand to be in the same room as me"

The words tumbled out of Tori so quickly it felt like she'd forgotten how to breathe, the uncertainty of the situation fuelling her anxiety and contributing to the migraine forming behind her left eye. Beck shared a worried glance with Cat before placing a soothing hand on his friend's back.

"Okay, first of all: Breathe" He motioned for Tori to do as instructed, watching her take a few deep breaths before continuing "Secondly, Jade is notorious for being temperamental, she always has been. If I learned anything from our time together, it's that it is best to just give her space until she's ready to come around herself. You can't force Jade to do anything she doesn't want to do"

"I know but what if she never comes around? What if she continues to avoid me for the rest of the semester and we both fail because we haven't cooperated enough? Then we'll get held back a year, like Trina - oh God, I can't be like Trina! - and then you will all have graduated and it'll just be me and Jade an-"

Tori was cut off by the flaring pain in her arm. She looked to her right to find Cat slowly withdrawing her hand.

"Ow! Why'd you pinch me?"

"Because you were freaking out and sometimes pinching my brother would snap him out of his episodes so I thought it might work on you"

"Sometimes? What happened the other times you pinched him?"

Cat was quiet for a full minute, seemingly reluctant to answer that but caved under the expectant eyes of both her friends. "The other times he'd get even more freaked out and start running around saying some guy called Bob was trying to kill him"

Beck cleared his throat, not entirely sure how to move on from that strange interlude so he dived right back into the situation at hand. "Would it help if we spoke to Jade for you? Between us, we might be able to persuade her to give you a chance"

Tori considered it for a moment before shaking her head "No. If you do that, she'll know I was asking about her and she'll take it the wrong way, probably accuse me of talking about her behind her back or something. It'll only make things worse"

She groaned. This migraine was getting worse. Is the sun always this damn bright? She felt nauseous and the pounding in her head was reaching an apex. She could think of nothing better than going straight home and hibernating until May. As she shoved the heel of her palm into her eye, hoping to quell some of the pressure building there, she felt Cat place a tentative hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay, Tori? You don't look so good"

"Yeah, Tor, maybe you should go to the nurse or something"

"I can't, I've got a presentation for Music Theory class next period"

"I'm sure Mr Aster will understand if you miss it, Cat can explain the situation" Cat nodded in agreement with Beck's suggestion "and rearrange a timeslot for you to present next week. Now, come on, I'm taking you home before you pass out right here" Beck wrapped a supportive arm around Tori's waist, gently pulling her to her feet and guiding her towards his car.

The next morning, Jade arrived at Tori's locker, already annoyed to see the other girl wasn't even there yet. She decided to kill time as she waited for Tori by retrieving her books for the day from her own locker. Just as she completed the exchange, she noticed Cat skipping toward her, her own project doll in hand.

"Hey Jade!"

"What?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to say hi. Hi!"

"Urgh, what's got you in such a good mood?"

"Oh, well last night Robbie came over to help me with Cabbie and we ended up making these really cool friendship bracelets, see?" She held out her wrist to show Jade the enormous collection of colourful woven bands that wound their way right up her forearm.

"Abbie?"

"No, Cabbie, with a C. It's mine and Robbie's names mashed together, it was either that or Rat"

Jade shook her head, she hadn't put much thought into the other pairings for Sikowitz' project but now that she did, she realised that she expected nothing less from the unusual duo. She really didn't have the patience to deal with this conversation so early in the morning so as soon as she saw an opportunity to segue, she took it.

"Yeah, Cat, that's great" she said, her tone bored "Hey, speaking of the project, have you seen Tori anywhere? It's her turn to take the doll today but she's late for the hand off"

"Oh, you didn't hear? Beck had to take her home during lunch yesterday, she looked really sick. She's probably off today too"

Jade lifted a pierced brow. She didn't know why but the idea of Tori being ill made her way more concerned than she ever would have expected which, in turn, stirred up internal anxieties for her own sanity.

"Well is she okay?"

Cat shrugged "I don't know, I tried calling her last night but it went straight to voicemail. You might just have to go over there after school if you wanna drop off Rachel"

That suggestion was the absolute last thing that Jade wanted to do but she could see no other solution. She groaned. "Yeah, guess I'll have to"

Jade walked up to the Vega house, Rachel set on her hip, and raised her fist to knock but thought better of it. She really didn't need to risk a conversation with Trina today, she was in a bad enough mood as it was so she opted to text Tori directly instead.

Wicked Bitch of the West: I'm outside, open the door before I break a window and let myself in

Viva Las Vega: Jade? You're at my house?

Before Jade could answer, the door in front of her cracked open to reveal Tori, her face pale and tired, bulbous purple bags hanging under her eyes which drooped as if the effort to even come to the door had drained her of her energy reserves.

"Jesus Christ! What happened to you? I was gonna call you Sleeping Beauty but clearly that doesn't apply to" she moved her hand in a circle in front of Tori's face "whatever the hell is going on here"

"What do you want, Jade? I'm really not in the mood for your insults today" Tori sighed, flopping down on the nearest coach and throwing an arm over her eyes.

Jade was surprised by Tori's blunt response, their whole relationship was based around their abilities give as good as they got and for Tori to just shut her down like that made Jade uneasy. "Well you weren't at school today and it's your night to take care of Rachel so I brought her to you"

Tori raised her head, blinking slowly as if her brain was struggling to catch up with the simple information. "O-Oh, right. I totally forgot. Give her here" She pushed herself to her feet. She extended her arms towards Rachel but stumbled, falling right into Jade who, fortunately, managed to catch the other girl before she knocked them both to the ground.

"Woah there!" Jade exclaimed. She helped Tori back to the coach, laying Rachel on the other side of her before plopping down beside the brunette "I've never seen you like this. What's wrong?"

The concern in her voice made Tori do a double take. Of course, Tori knew that Jade could be caring and empathetic, one look at her interactions with Cat were enough to tell her that but it was incredibly rare for Jade to acknowledge the well being of her other friends, Beck included. "It's a stress migraine, the pain behind my eye feels like you've dug your scissors into it"

"I thought it was physically impossible for you to get stressed? You're always so damn optimistic about everything that you just expect everything to work themselves out in the end"

"That's not true, you try living with Trina for 18 years and not developing a stress disorder!"

"So that's what this is? Trina did something to set you off?"

"No, not this time"

"Then what?"

Tori paused for a second, she wasn't sure if it was such a good idea to tell Jade the truth about what had been bothering her for the past week but she was so exhausted and sick of this dance they'd been doing around each other that she decided to throw caution to the wind.

"This project with Rachel. I know you've been avoiding me, I don't know why but you've been acting weird since Monday and I'm so scared that we're gonna fail" Her tone harshened "We're so close to graduation and I can't come this far to throw it all away just because we can't get along for more than five minutes. Well you know what, Jade? All you need to do is cooperate for another four months and then you never have to see me again. Will that make you happy?!"

Jade was silent for a moment as she contemplated Tori's outburst before answering quietly "No."

Jade wasn't sure exactly why the idea of never seeing Tori again scared her so much. On Wednesday, she had even written just that in her project diary so why did the reality of it, when posed by Tori herself, feel so much more real and unnerving? Their rivalry had always been vicious but somewhere along the way she'd come to respect the girl in front of her, maybe even admire her, though she'd never admit that aloud, of course. In a way, she enjoyed their dynamic of give and take, it kept her on her toes and she knew that Tori could roll with the punches enough to give as good as she got. She only had one problem and boy, was it a big one. Well, if Tori wanted to know then Jade would absolutely tell her.

"You really want to know what my problem is?"

"Yeah, I really do, Jade. I am so fucking tired of the silent treatment"

In any other situation, Jade might have been impressed that she'd finally seen Saint Vega swear but not today. No, today she was livid and the more she thought about the cause, the angrier she got.

"You waltzed into my life and you took everything from me, every little thing I worked so hard for was just fucking handed to you, you didn't even have to ask!"

"Jade, that's not true, there's plenty of opportunities for us bo-"

"AND YOU WANT TO KNOW THE WORST THING, TORI?" Jade had had enough, raising her voice as loud as she could "YOU TOOK BECK, YOU SAID THAT FRIENDS COULDN'T DO THAT TO EACH OTHER BUT DID THAT STOP YOU?! NO! BECAUSE YOU JUST TAKE WHAT YOU WANT, EVERYONE ELSE BE DAMNED, RIGHT?"

"I'm not dating Beck" Tori's tone was low and dangerous, unlike Jade had ever heard before and it was enough to stop her dead in her tracks.

"Wait, what?"

"I said I'm not dating Beck"

"Oh so now you don't even have the guts to tell me the truth? Did you or did you not say you couldn't do that to a friend?"

"Yes, I did which is part of the reason why I haven't acted on it, the other part is there's nothing between us anyway. Beck is my friend, that's it. End of story"

"Oh please, Vega! I've seen you two all cosy in class, you're practically all over each other!"

"Because we're friends, Jade. I know you have the emotional capacity of a toddler but most people like to be close to their friends"

As soon as those words left her mouth, Tori knew she'd gone too far. Jade's face had fallen into an unreadable expression, her lips pursed, eyes boring into Tori. She looked as if her next move would be to throttle Tori with her bare hands. And then... She crumpled. The arms that had been crossed firmly over her chest drew up to wrap around herself and in that most she looked almost...vulnerable? Tori didn't know what to do, she'd seen Jade cry before certainly but this was new, Jade was the most exposed that Tori had ever seen her and it scared her.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I swear I didn't mean that" she took a hesitant step towards Jade, anticipating the goth's seemingly inevitable storm out but against all odds, Jade took her own steps forward, practically throwing herself at Tori. The Latina jerked in response, bracing herself for the hit that never came, instead she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her. Shaking off her shock, she returned the tight embrace.

A few minutes passed between them before either dared speak again.

Tori cleared her throat. "Jade?"

"Yeah?" came a muffled response from somewhere in Tori's hair.

"I thought you and Beck were done for good this time. Do you want to get back together with him again?"

Jade pulled back from the hug, wiping her face on her sleeve. Her eyes turned to the ceiling as if searching the heavens for her answer. With a sigh, she finally replied "No. Not really. I just don't think I'm ready to watch him to move on yet, especially with one of my best friends"

Tori froze. She wasn't sure she'd heard that correctly. "D-Did you really just call me one of your best friends?"

Jade rolled her eyes "Yes but if you tell anyone, I'll deny it" but then she smiled.

And just as quickly as the moment came, it was over, broken by the wail of an infant. Tori shuffled over to the source, realising quickly that the reason for Rachel's cry was that she had soaked through her diaper, onto the sofa beneath her. Tori started to strip the child of its soiled clothes but her movements were stinted and slow, a result of the exertion of the day as the exhaustion she had been feeling prior to Jade's arrival returned like a horror movie villain for one last jump scare. Really? That's the analogy I'm going with? I really have been spending too much time with Jade, she thought.

She felt a gentle pressure at her side, moving her out of the way as she noticed Jade's hand on her waist. "I got it" she said simply "Get yourself back to bed, I'll come and join you when I'm done here"

Tori blushed at the implication and ducked her head, hoping she'd be lucky enough that Jade hadn't seen it. She was not lucky enough. "Jeez, not like that, you perv!" Jade grinned "you're clearly not gonna be able to manage Rachel by yourself in this state so if we actually want to pass this class, it looks like I'm gonna have to stay with you until you can"