"GIVE US A REAL MISSION, OLD MAN!!! NOT THIS LITTLE KID STUFF!!!"

I just pouted as Naruto raged against the most powerful man in the village. Naruto, Sakura, and I were all covered in scratches, scrapes, and dirt...Naruto had the most. Tora hated him a little extra, it would seem. I wasn't too upset about the missions...I was more upset that I wasn't allowed to take poor Tora home to save her from being fucking STRANGLED by her owner! Seriously, why didn't any of these ninja care that a poor, innocent cat was being abused!? Like, okay, ninja might not be the most 'moral' people, but there had to be a line somewhere! Murder? Fine. Torture? Okay. Pitting preteens against each other as a stand in for war and for entertainment? Whatever. Letting a defenseless cat get strangled and being partially responsible for it? No fucking way. I snapped out of my thoughts as Kakashi whacked me on the head.

"HUH WHAT!?"

Kakashi sighed. "Sasuke...you really should pay more attention. We're going on a C-rank mission...introduce yourself to the client."

I turned towards look up at our client...and immediately recognized him. I shouted in alarm and just pointed at him, unable to actually explain to anyone why I was freaking out. Because...because Zabuza, and Haku, and...and another two ninja but I couldn't remember them. I couldn't just tell them I knew the future! The client- Tazuna -just raised an eyebrow and pointed to me.

"'N I thought the midget was stupid...but this one must be crazy. I don't care if you ARE a jonin, these three squirts can't possibly protect me."

I broke out of my shock, only to replace it with anger. "HEEEYY, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM LITERALLY THE BEST STUDENT FROM MY CLASS, AND I AM GOING TO BE THE BEST NINJA EVER!!!"

Naruto looked to me and snorted. "Yeah? Well, you're gonna have to fight me for the title of Hokage, bastard! I'm not just gonna roll over and let you have it!"

I waved him off. "No, you can have it, I don't wanna be Hokage! That's like...way too much paperwork and it's BORING. I wanna go on super cool super secret missions!!!"

The conversation between Naruto and I just seemed to reaffirm Tazuna's opinion of us. I looked around at all the shinobi doing all the paperwork involved with missions, already hoping that I would never have to do that. I would never be able to. Sitting still for an extended period of time? Having to focus on just one thing? No way would I be able to. I was whacked on the head once more, this time by Naruto, and I looked over to him just to see that Kakashi and Tazuna were gone.

"We have to go pack our stuff, bastard! This is a long mission, it's gonna take forever so pack a lot!!! Then we gotta go meet at the gate in two hours!"

"Oh okay"

With that out of the way, we both rushed out of the missions office to our respective homes. I don't know about Naruto, but I threw about half of all the clothes I owned into a pile on the floor, then used my super-useful-Sasuke-memories to dig around until I found a storage scroll, which I put all the clothes into before stuffing it into my backpack. Then I stuffed my toothbrush and toothpaste into it, along with a small bar of soap. If I was going on a ninja mission like this, I was gonna get dirty...but I also wouldn't have the luxury of a real shower. Finally, I shoved all my extra weapons in the backpack and headed out with a spring in my step. I was the second person from my team to reach the gates, as Sakura was already there. I gave her a smile and wave, bouncing along the rest of the way. Sakura looked confused and conflicted...as if she was still trying to reconcile that I was, indeed, Sasuke Uchiha. She would get over the shock and love me eventually, though. I slung an arm around her shoulder with a grin, not noticing her face turn red or the way she stiffened up.

"Sakuraaa!! This is gonna be great! We get to go out of the village, like a vacation of badassery! I hope we get to fight some people, I wanna punch someone so bad just go POWPOWPOWPOWPOW!!"

I was using my free arm to gesture and mock punch the air as I spoke. Sakura just looked like she was about ready to faint. Then Naruto showed up, and my attention diverted to him.

"NARUTO NARUTO NARUTO!!!! WANNA MAKE A BET!?"

Naruto looked a bit confused, but still curious.

"Uh...sure? What is it?"

"I bet that we're gonna fight some ninja, and that one will have a GIANT sword!!!"

Naruto tilted his head, but Tazuna was sweating in the background.

"Hmmm...okay, but if you lose, I'm gonna be disappointed. I wanna fight other ninja!!! Wait...how about we just bet about the giant sword? That sounds fucking stupid so I'll definitely win!"

I nodded, grinning. "You're on! Loser buys the other ramen at that one ramen stand!!!!"

Naruto grinned back, holding out his hand for me to shake it. I did exactly that, and then Kakashi appeared behind us.

"Well...let's make this more interesting, huh? I'll join the bet, but if I lose, I pay for BOTH your guys' ramen. This is a C-rank, so there's no way we will encounter enemy ninja. When I win the bet...hm...you treat me to eggplant miso soup! Sound fair?"

I grinned, already knowing he was going to lose along with Naruto.

"YOU'RE ON, KAKASHI-SENSEI!!!" I yelled, along with Naruto.

Kakashi patted both our heads, his eye crinkling up in a smile.

"Ah, my cute little genin...already gambling! They grow up so fast..."

Kakashi did a fake sniffle, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. Naruto rolled his eyes and grumbled, and Sakura still looked like she was having an existential crisis...and Tazuna looked like he was trying very very hard not to shit his pants. The bridge builder took another swig of his sake, and schooled his expression into a grimace.

"Well? Are we gonna leave sometime this year?"

Kakashi nodded to him, his little eye-smile fake as fuck. He brought the paperwork over to the gate guards, and quickly...the massive gates swung open. Both Naruto and I ran out with enthusiastic shouts, and looked around us in wonder. I heard Tazuna grumble...something, but paid no attention to it, even as Naruto exclaimed something about being the future Hokage. Naruto may have been excited just to go outside the village, but I was excited because I would finally get the opportunity to KICK SOME ASS!!! My first chance...would be that first pair of shinobi...and I couldn't wait.

It was taking FOREVER to get to the good stuff! The show never showed how long and BORING walking was!!! I was trying to both not fall asleep on my feet from boredom, and keep myself from running ahead. Thankfully, my boredom was soon cut short as I spied something very familiar...a puddle. It took a moment to register why it was familiar, but when it did, I grinned. I ran up to the puddle, taking out a kunai and poking it as Tazuna loudly asked what the 'crazy brat' was doing. I looked backwards to Kakashi with a smile.

"Kakashi-sensei! This puddle is suspicious...it looks stupid and fake!!!! Can I stab it?"

Kakashi sighed. "No, you can't stab the puddle. It's just a puddle, Sasuke...no matter how...ah...stupid and fake it looks."

I pouted, but stood up anyways, following along behind Naruto with Kakashi taking up the rear. Only a few steps past the puddle, though...and it suddenly burst into action, the clanking of chains sounding as they wrapped around our sensei. The two enemy shinobi pulled, and Kakashi appeared to be shredded into bloody pieces.

"One down..." one of them said.

I just grinned and pumped my fist, leaping into action. Relying on Sasuke's memory of taijutsu and kunai skills, I threw the kunai hard at the interlinked chains, pinning it in the middle to a tree. I then flashed through the handsigns for the grand fireball jutsu, and let it loose straight at the one that was no longer paying attention to him in favor of getting the chain un-stuck. There was a blood curdling scream, and the stench of burning flesh as he was slowly roasted alive. Huh...I had expected him to dodge that...or block it...or substitution jutsu away from it. But no matter how much I looked around...he didn't reappear, and when I looked back to what was now a charred corpse, it didn't suddenly poof into logs, either. I...actually fucking killed the guy. Damn. My thoughts were interrupted as I heard Kakashi's voice. I turned towards him, and realized that he had said my name...probably multiple times. He had the second shinobi held under his arm, unconscious.

"Sasuke...we are beyond the scope of this mission, and you have the final say in whether or not we continue...your word also holds the most weight at the moment, due to what just happened."

At the sight of my confused expression, Kakashi carefully elaborated. "...you just had your first kill, Sasuke."

A lightbulb went on in my head, and I grinned, flexing my arms. "Well yeah, the guy never stood a chance! I'm just that good...but hey, that was pretty badass, huh? Now time to be even MORE badass and save a whole damn country!!! AND DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT OUR BET, KAKASHI-SENSEI. WE ENCOUNTERED ENEMY NINJAS SO NOW YOU HAVE TO GET NARUTO AND I FOOD!"

The silver haired man only sighed once more, and moved to tie up the unconscious ninja to a tree. Once done, he turned back to the group, and as I looked to Naruto, I saw that his hand was already bandaged. Wow, I missed a lot, huh? As the group started moving once more, Kakashi held on to the back of my shirt, so I stayed next to him. I blinked owlishly up at him, not understanding why he was holding me back. He just looked concerned.

"Sasuke...are you alright? First kills are usually pretty tough...and yours wasn't exactly a clean one."

I just blinked before nodding. "Well...yeah, but I'm fine. I mean, it was smelly, but that's it. Besides, don't forget, I had to watch Itachi slaughter our whole clan via a genjutsu he cast on me, so this is nothing."

Kakashi winced, and I felt a little bad for bringing up Sasuke's trauma. But...it didn't affect me all that much, personally. It was more like I was just...a bystander to the memories. I held a sort of detachment to them.

"Don't worry, Kakashi-sensei! I'm fine! Besides, I heard talking about your trauma helps you get better from it!"

Kakashi's gaze softened and he patted my head. "Okay...just...if you're ever not fine...tell me."

With that said, he let me go and I grinned, jogging a bit to catch up with Naruto. I felt bad for Kakashi...guy had no clue what he was supposed to do. Lucky for him I was okay. But I spoke too soon. After another couple hours of walking, the weight of what I did hit me like a freight train carrying a few more freight trains. I started breathing heavily, and I could feel my stomach roiling. I was vaguely aware of Sakura asking if I was okay, but I couldn't even think of forming a response. My knees were shaking, and I collapsed down onto my hands and knees, vomiting as the stench of burning flesh assaulted my nose once more, even though there was none to actually smell. I heard shouting, but it sounded as if I was several feet underwater...it was all muffled. My eyes were burning, and it took a few seconds for me to realize that I was crying. I...I had just killed a guy. It wasn't like it was nice and fast, either...no...he burned to death. Which was bound to be a torturous way to go. His screams of pain and terror rang in my ears, and I could feel the heat of the fire on my face as I watched his body topple down. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and shot a panicked gaze over to Kakashi...who looked sympathetic.

"...hitting you, huh?" I only caught the end of what he said, and nodded. "Don't feel too guilty over it...it was him or you...or even your teammates."

But I didn't feel guilty...not for killing him at least. "...I f-f-feel guilty for...for not f-feeling guilty abou-about it..."

Kakashi looked confused for half a second before he seemed to understand. "Well, Sasuke...I'm impressed you held out as long as you did. I was shocked when you didn't immediately break down. Either way...I'm sorry I didn't step in fast enough to keep that from happening. I didn't think you would be able to kill either of them, especially not so quickly."

I gave him a wobbly smile. "It's-it's okay...n-not everyone can be as awesome as-as me after all!"

Kakashi gave me a smile. "Think you can stand up?"

I nodded, trying and shakily succeeding. I tried to block out the emotional turmoil at least for now. I couldn't be worrying myself sick over my first kill when we were about to be facing even bigger, stronger enemies within the next few hours. I took a few deep breaths, then continued walking, everyone else following behind. I could have a good, real breakdown once this mission was over.

I sat on the boat, letting my hand run through the water. I was fantasizing about learning water walking, but knew I had to learn tree walking before that. If I could water walk, I could have been running around the boat the whole boring, quiet ride there! I could have even tried walking on my hands! But noooo, I had to be an idiot and not try learning it before this inevitable shitshow of a mission. I didn't notice the conversation or Naruto yelling as he saw the bridge. I barely noticed as we reached shore...and that was just because my hand hit sand instead of water. I hopped out of the boat, following along behind my team. Kakashi kept stealing worried glances at me as we went, but it didn't register in my mind. I only watched as Naruto kept throwing sharp pointy objects, only stopping when he almost hit a rabbit. I froze, immediately recognizing the snow white creature and what it signified was about to happen. I gave a frightened squawk and hit the dirt a split second before Kakashi yelled for us to get down. The scare managed to break me out of my little world, and I glared up at the man standing atop the giant sword. He started monologuing, and I stood up, pointing at him with a snarl on my lips.

"OH FUCK YOU, YOU WANNA FUCKIN GO? YOU WANNA FIGHT? WELL I GOT NEWS FOR YOU, BFG, YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS!!!"

Everyone looked equal parts shocked and confused at my outburst. Naruto tugged on my sleeve, his brow creased in confusion.

"Um...Sasuke...what's 'BFG' mean???"

"It means 'Big Fucking Giant', WHICH HE IS!!! WHO CARES IF YOU MURDERED LIKE, A WHOLE CLASS OF SHINOBI STUDENTS BEFORE YOU EVEN GOT INTO THE ACADEMY, I'LL STILL FIGHT YOUR ASS!!!!"

Naruto, Sakura, and Tazuna looked to me, then to Zabuza with horror. Kakashi was just shocked, and Zabuza just laughed loudly.

"The brat knows who I am but he's still challenging me to a fight! Just for that I'll kill you last, you have spunk"

Kakashi pushed his headband up off his sharingan. "All three of you...stay out of this. I mean you, too, Sasuke! This guy is in a whole different league than the ones from before...you can't hope to kill him. Stay and protect Tazuna! That is the best use of teamwork in this situation!"

Zabuza looked interested as Kakashi mentioned killing someone. His gaze zeroed in on me.

"You? You managed to kill one of the demon brothers? Interesting...never thought any wet behind the ears leaf genin would have what it takes! Tell me...how did you do it? How did you feel, seeing the light fade from his eyes?"

Kakashi was about to chew out Zabuza for asking, but I beat him to it. "I couldn't see the light fade from his eyes because of all the fire. I thought he would like...dodge, or substitution jutsu, or even shoot water at it, but he just caught on fire and died instead. As for how I felt...uuuhh...I was fine, but then I threw up two hours later which sucks because puke makes me nauseous which only leads to more puking so that wasn't fun. But now I'm totally fine, I just feel bad because I like, don't feel bad for killing him even though I probably should but I don't."

Zabuza just looked confused by my response. He was probably either expecting me to be fraught with guilt and despair over having taken a life, or overwhelmed with exhilarated, bloodthirsty joy. Not...whatever the fuck I just spewed out. Kakashi just looked like he was trying not to die of stress before the end of this mission. Everyone recovered a moment later though, with Zabuza being the first to speak.

"Heh...never heard of a reaction like that before. Well...let's get on with it, shall we?"

He jumped off his sword, tearing it from the tree before he landed and held up a hand sign as he gathered chakra. I felt a crushing weight on me suddenly, the absolute certainty of my imminent death. I couldn't escape...I was going to DIE. I remembered vaguely that Sasuke had almost stabbed himself with his kunai in the show, but I had no such reaction. I had to keep up the trend of reacting weirdly to things, after all. So before I realized what I was doing, I burst into hysterical laughter, even though my eyes were still filled with terror for whoever saw them. A fog surrounded us, and I realized that Zabuza had cast his 'hiding in the mist' jutsu. I heard Kakashi call out, cutting my laughter short.

"Sasuke! Calm down. I won't let anything happen to any of you...I'll protect you with my life." He tossed a glance back our way, eyes crinkling up in a smile.

I knew exactly what happened next, though, so I immediately whirled around just as Zabuza appeared in the middle of our protective formation. I immediately thrust my arm out, intent on stabbing him. He must not have expected that, for it actually got damn close to connecting. He barely caught my wrist before the kunai could sink into his gut. Naruto, Sakura, and Tazuna had all jumped away, while Kakashi had leapt forwards, causing Zabuza to release his hold on me so I could jump back, too. It was too late, though, as Kakashi had done what I couldn't and sunk his kunai handle deep into the swordsman's abdomen. Instead of blood, though, it was water gushing out. From there, the fight played out the exact same way as before...ending with Kakashi trapped in a water prison jutsu and yelling at us to run. I only looked to Naruto, the two of us nodding at each other. Naruto had first been knocked back by the clone Zabuza, and he rushed forwards to grab his headband before being knocked backwards once more. The blond grinned, forming the seal for his favorite jutsu, and soon there were a couple dozen of him all rushing at Zabuza and piling over him. The clones were all knocked back quick enough though, poofing away one after another. One of them called out to me, tossing something from his backpack. I caught the giant shuriken, and remembered exactly what had happened here. With a dark grin, I held it up, calling out the name of the move as I executed it.

"Demon wind shuriken...WINDMILL OF SHADOWS!!!"

The weapon flew through the air, around the clone Zabuza and straight at the real one...who caught it. The second one hiding in the shadow of the other was still a threat though, but Zabuza just jumped over it, all without his hand moving from the prison jutsu. The second shuriken poofed back into Naruto, and he threw his kunai at Zabuza, forcing him to release Kakashi. I just whooped in joy, pumping my fist in victory. The rest of the fight between Kakashi and Zabuza played out exactly as I remembered it, and soon Zabuza was blown away by a tidal wave and pinned to a tree. Before Kakashi could deal the finishing blow, however, a pair of senbon flew out of seemingly nowhere and struck Zabuza in the neck. He fell over, appearing for all intents and purposes to be dead.

"I've been hunting this one a long time...thank you for providing the opening I needed."

I was quietly seething, though...but not for long. "OI YOU LYING SACK OF SHIT WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FOOLING HUH!? I WILL TAKE YOUR STUPID POINTY THINGIES AND STAB ONE INTO EACH OF YOUR TOES!!!!"

Haku just tilted his head at me as Kakashi gave me a withering glance. It was obvious no one was taking me seriously. Naruto was glaring at Haku still, trembling in rage and Sakura just looked confused.

"Anyways...I need to take this body and dispose of it...it holds many secrets"

With that, Haku grabbed Zabuza and flickered away. Naruto went off on his tangent of anger due to Haku being stronger than all of them, while Kakashi mollified him. Kakashi then turned, intent on continuing to their destination, but he didn't make it a single step before falling on his face. I walked up to him, and snickered a bit while Sakura cried out that it wasn't funny.

"Naaah, he'll be fine! It's just chakra exhaustion. He wasn't born with that sharingan, so it takes more chakra for him to use it than it does an Uchiha, and he can't turn it off either, which is why he always has it covered. So now we just have to carry him to Tazuna's!"

Everyone was a bit gobsmacked at my little explanation, and I shifted a bit, bending down to grab him from under his arms, hefting him up.

"...Is anyone gonna help me or not? I need teamwork to help move his fat ass."

At that, Naruto sprang up and grabbed Kakashi by the ankles, before putting them down again and turning around in order to bend down and hook Kakashi's legs over his shoulders before standing up, keeping a grip on his sensei's ankles. I just kept my hold on Kakashi the way I was, and we set out with Tazuna leading the way to his house. I couldn't wait til Kakashi woke up and told Naruto and Sakura that Zabuza was actually still alive and that Haku was working with him. Then they would lose their shit over how I already knew, and I would just tell them I knew because of how awesome and smart I am. It was gonna be hilarious.

A/N: heyooo!!! Sorry, I know this chapter is a bit shorter than the last one, but I figured this was a good place to end it. Otherwise it would be super long. Like, til the end of the wave arc long. The next one should be longer, though! Still searching for a beta!!!