CHAPTER 2

After eating a delicious ice cream, Brittany and I went to the park and are now sitting on a bench, in silence. I'm lost in my thoughts, I can't help replaying the fight with Rachel in my mind, over and over. I shouldn't care, I actually used to not care but with Brittany in MIT and my parents back in Ohio, Rachel and Kurt have become my home. They're all I have in the city. Brittany suddenly pulls me out of my thoughts by caressing my cheek.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

"It does a little, but not as bad as my ego does" I reply. "I actually got slapped by Rachel Berry. Can you believe it, because I still can't! I mean, I've got my fair share of slaps and fights, but it's usually from badass people like Quinn or Zizes, I never thought that I would get slapped by a dwarf" I say sarcastically.

"I'm really proud of you for not fighting back" she says with a soft voice.

"That was not easy, believe me."

"I know that it wasn't, even more reasons to be proud".

I smile at her, and we return into silence for a few minutes.

"Can I ask you something?" she says and I nod to encourage her to continue.

"Why did you audition for that part?" I didn't expect that question but I can tell that she's not trying to judge, it's not blame disguised as a question like other people would do. She's genuinely curious. I sigh and turn to her, suddenly intimidated by her piercing blue eyes. I always try to put on a brave face like I don't give a damn about anything and I am all self-confident, but Brittany sees right through me, so there is no point to pretend that I'm stronger than I really am.

"I needed to do something, Britt. Anything really, I just needed… to take action I guess. New York is not what I expected. I thought I was awesome and -"

"You are awesome" she says in a heartbeat.

"I know you think so and I love you for that, but I thought I'd come here and everyone else would see it too. I thought I'd have my own big break." I say sadly.

"Is it going this bad? San, you shot a commercial barely a month after being here".

"Yeah and now everywhere I go, I'm known as the girl with the raging yeast infection" I say, shaking my head.

"Perhaps but you were all over national television, I heard from my cousin that Sue even put up a giant poster of your commercial at McKinley.

"She WHAT?" I scream.

"Don't get mad... This is Sue we are talking about, you know that she usually loves making students feel bad about themselves, like they will never accomplish anything. But she's celebrating your success, that means she's proud. And if you can make Sue proud, I think that you can do anything..." she says with a smile. I return her smile, even though I'm not exactly thrilled at having my face next to the words "Yeast infection" all over McKinley.

"I know you're trying to cheer me up, Britt but I feel like a failure. My parents saved up money for my studies and I already let them down when I refused to go to college. Then my mom showed me how much she believes in me by still giving me the money so I could use it for New York. I have been here for months and besides that stupid yeast commercial, I have not done anything. I have already blown up half of the money, I'm working as a waitress in a diner owned by a racist guy. I live with Rachel and Kurt only because I invited myself, and I don't even have my own bedroom! I sleep on a couch that we found on the street and that would probably look like a crime scene if we used blue light. I thought New York was the city of dreams but the truth is that no one gives a damn about you. So when I heard Rachel saying that they would cast her understudy I thought that I had to cease that opportunity. Rachel is from Lima like all of us and yet she managed to get such a big role, so maybe there was hope for me too. I needed to prove myself that I still got it."

"Well obviously they loved you San, they picked you!", she says, holding my hand in hers. "How did it feel going back out there, on stage?"

"It felt amazing! Just like when we won Nationals. I had forgotten how much I love singing! And I went out of my comfort zone, I actually sang "Don't rain on my parade", but not in Barbra Streisand or Rachel's style, I did my own version of it. You should have seen the Director, he really looked impressed and kept complimenting me, it felt so damn good! But to be honest, it's when I saw the look on Rachel's face that I understood that I performed well, she was sooo angry. I had never seen her like this before. That's why I insisted so much to go out for lunch with you before going home, I figured that she needed some time to cool off. I guess it didn't work though… clearly the bitch feels threatened because she has to be the only one to shine, she can't stand the idea that I might shine too."

Brittany squeezes my hand. "I'm glad that you enjoyed so much getting back on stage, and I'm really happy that you got the part but you have to cut Rachel some slack. It's only been a few months since Finn died. It's already a miracle that she found the strength to go on. And Broadway is her dream, especially the Fanny Brice part, you know that she has not shut up about it since sophomore year! It's the first good thing that happened to her in months, and nevertheless I'm sure she's super nervous, she must be scared to fuck it up. Remember how she choked at her NYADA audition? So please San, be supportive, she needs her friends right now".

Damn Brittany and her wisdom. I know Rachel has been through some awful months, I saw it with my own eyes. And Kurt and I have done everything we could to help her. But today it didn't even cross my mind, she was so irritating that I couldn't focus on anything else. But it's true, Rachel has showed a lot of strength and resilience. If anything happened to Brittany, I probably wouldn't get out of bed, I'm pretty sure I'd die of a broken heart.

"You're right, as always... Look, I'll do my best but you know that she drives me insane..."

"I know, but you need to be the bigger person here".

"I will try... Oh I have to go to the rehearsal soon", I say checking the time on my watch. "Are you sure you'll be OK? It shouldn't take more than one hour today."

"Yes, don't worry. I'll do something with Kurt, I'm sure he will be up for it. I think that he was pretty down being caught in the Pezberry crossfire today…" she says.

"Oh please don't use that Pezberry name" I say offended. "It gives me chills".

She laughs, and I instantly feel better.

"How bad did she fuck up my awesome skin tone?" I asked showing her my cheek.

"A little bit, but nothing that a kiss and good make-up cannot fix" she says, kissing my cheek.

A/N: What do you think? Grateful for your reviews.