Chapter 2 – The Nightmare of Thanksgiving
El couldn't wait for Mike to be finally near her. He was supposed to be coming along with Nancy. Mrs. Wheeler thought it would be better that way. Their plane should be landing around noon. The Byers and El were awaiting them in the airport hall; El was counting seconds. Seeing Mike again was the last thing that could bring some sense back into her life. But she was also strangely nervous about meeting him. When they would finally appear in the distance she ran through the airport hall colliding with some people but not really caring much until she was in his arms. "Oh El…" Mike laughed and wrapped his arms around her. Joyce felt moved when she so them, she was also hoping Mike's visit would help El to find some peace again because she knew El was in a bad place; she was waking up screaming almost every night. It was tearing Joyce's heart apart because all she would always manage to say after she woke up was Mike's name. Joyce had been doubting that separating them was a good idea.
"El," he whispered and no one would separate them for at least two minutes from their hug. "Hey…" he laughed.
"Hi Mike." He kissed her on the cheek and then cupped her face and leaned in for a gentle kiss on her lips. "You look so pretty," he whispered into her ear.
"Do I?" she smiled for the first time in a few days.
"Yeah… you look a little different. I mean nice different," he stuttered out. He didn't know about the changes happening in her body, but he noticed she matured. "Your hair is a little longer." he laughed. "You're okay?" She nodded and then it was time for Mike to finally hug Will and greet Joyce and Jonathan.
"Will the Wise!" he called. "Hi!" Will smiled happily and they hugged warmly. He gave Jonathan high five and everyone just seemed to be happy about this reunion.
Nancy and El would hug too. "Wow, El… You've grown and you are so beautiful." El couldn't believe Nancy; who she found to be one of the most beautiful girls she had ever seen; was saying this to her. And she welcomed any of the familiar faces from Hawkins. Nancy and Jonathan hugged too but with a little more caution then Mike and El. As they went to the parking lot, El and Mike were holding hands and exchanged few words walking few meters behind the others
"You okay? I mean about the school. Did you try… to…?" Mike was trying to ask.
"I don't have them back, Mike," she interrupted him sounding a little annoyed.
"What happened in the school though? I was so worried."
"Mike, I don't really... I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry."
"Okay. But you would tell me if… something bad was happening to you right?"
"Sure," she tried to pull on the best smile she could but Mike remained worried anyway.
"Maybe, I will tell you later. Come on." She led him to their cars. They went with Will and Joyce and Jonathan took Nancy. The two of them were also happy to see each other, but Nancy was at the college now and he was working; they were so far from each other. They were trying to stay realistic about the relationship and they wanted to give each other some space and a chance to live their lives on.
Nevertheless, all of them spent nice time together playing some board games and chatting a lot. Still the mood wasn't the best; there was a sense of strange sadness around. Before the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, they all expressed what they are grateful for.
Mike started with a little shy but genuinely determined voice: "I'm incredibly grateful that I can be here with you tonight; with my best friend Will; with my girlfriend, who I really love." He looked down and then right into her eyes: "I love you El and I'm glad you're okay here in your new home with your family. And I grateful for the fact that we can sit here together like this. It means a lot." El took his hand and smiled. He said he loved me. It felt so nice to hear it; she was blushing.
"Thank you, Mike," everyone smiled at Mike's speech.
"I would like to give a thanks to Mrs. Byers, who prepared this wonderful dinner and welcomed us here to her family. I am really grateful also for my friends and… my new life at the college, I know I am privileged, and I am grateful," Nancy said.
"Thank you for sharing, Nancy. And for coming here," Joyce smiled.
"I'm grateful for my new work. My new friends around here. And also for that I can be here with my brother, we are glad that you are here, Will," Jonathan laughed. "And also that we are here with our new sister," he looked at El. "We went through a lot… so I am glad you're here with us. And I am thankful for my mum who… stays strong whatever happens."
"Thank you, Jonathan," they smiled and Joyce patted his shoulder.
"I am thankful for my new friends in the school, thanks to them I am… surviving without my best friends who are back in Hawkins. And I miss them so much, so I am now grateful the most for the fact that one of them could come for a visit. I am also thankful for El, because… without her I would die in that place and she risked her life for all of us so… I am thankful that now she is part of the family and that she's my friend," Will said quietly but with a smile on his face.
"Will," El shook her head.
"I am really thankful for all of my children, including my new daughter of course. I love you, El, and… I will always be making sure that you are safe. Away from the bad people. Remember that Hopper… loved you, god he loved you," Joyce wept and El looked at her sadly.
"Mum…" Jonathan said soothingly.
"No I'm fine, I'm fine…" she tried to put a smile back on. "Yeah, so I know everyone is thankful for you. You… brought light to our lives, I swear." El wasn't sure at all; it was her fault in the first place that all the bad things happened. "You saved us in so many ways. So yeah… Also I'm grateful for our new home, new work, my two perfect boys who are the best sons in the world. And I am also thankful for the Wheelers, who are here with us tonight. I appreciate it. And that your parents allowed you to come… that just means a lot to us. So thank you!"
"We thank you too, Mrs. Byers, really," Nancy smiled.
"Joyce… please, Nancy." Then it was El's turn. She remembered that last year they would celebrate Thanksgiving with Hopper and he would say the same thing, that she brought light to his life but then… he died. She brought pain, death and sorrow into their lives, why are they saying this? She had no idea what to say.
"I… I am grateful that I am here with you all. You are my home now," El said quietly. "I never really had a home, and now I am coming to understand that… the people you live with make the home, not the place… And I am thankful for that you came Mike, really… I love you too. And all of you, you were the best support to me in the last months… years. I don't even deserve that…"
"No, darling, you deserve this and you deserve much more." Joyce said and wiped away tears from her cheeks. "We thank you, El." everyone said. And then they cheered up a bit and ate the delicious dinner Joyce prepared with El's help.
When they became tired they got ready for bed and called it a night. El took Mike to her room. They laid next to each other on her bed. Being in a good mood they giggled a lot, she felt safe around him. They cuddled close to each other. "I missed you so much," he whispered.
"I missed you too," she smiled. "How is the school? How is everyone?"
"I am glad I am with Lucas, Max and Dustin at least. But we miss you and Will. Max is a little sad, she misses you and Billy. They broke up with Lucas again. But I am guessing, it won't last long… the breakup," he smiled and she did too.
"I wish she could come to visit us too… I miss all of you."
"What about you? Did you find some new friends?" he asked as he held her close.
"Oh yeah, Cathy, she is so nice to me. She sits with me and Will at lunches and we have some classes together. The other girls don't really like me that much though," she shrugged.
"Oh… why?" he frowned. "Are you too bitchin' to them?" he joked, she giggled but then she became a little sombre as she remembered the showers.
"I don't know," she answered shortly. "Maybe. I guess."
"And… the boys?" he asked carefully. El smiled a little at Mike's nervous tone.
"I mostly talk only to Will and Cathy, Mike," she giggled. "There is one boy though, his name is Tommy. But we don't talk. He only helped me once, with my books." She didn't want to lie to him.
"Oh did he?" Mike frowned again. "He likes you for sure."
"Maybe, at least that's what Cathy says. But you don't have to worry about it. What about you and the high school girls?" Sometimes fear grew up onto her that he might fancy some girl in his new school. Maybe it was good that she couldn't check up on him with her powers, like this she was more calm in a way. Not making bad conclusions out of something.
"Oh… I mean…" Mike started.
"Friends don't lie," she reminded him.
"Well there is one girl that seems to be… liking me. But it's the same for me El as for you. I miss you and I only love you," he kissed her cheek.
"You promise?" she looked deep into his eyes, he loved that look.
"I promise," he leaned towards her and kissed her gently.
"I am so glad you told me," she smiled. "Finally."
"Yeah… finally, right?" They smiled at each other between the kisses. For a second she forgot about what happened in the showers and about how lonely she still actually felt in her new home. Now, it was only them. They both were eager for more and with every other kiss it felt like they were ready for more as well. The desire had mounted up to this moment during the days and months they were separated. Now they were finally alone next to each other. He pulled her closer, kissing her more passionately but still very gently cupping her face. He lost himself in the kiss he tracing circles on her back and with the tips of his fingers he touched her neck and he happened to brush over her chest and her tummy.
She shivered and suddenly her smile faded away as she felt goose bumps maybe for no reason. She didn't stop kissing him feeling utterly confused and he almost didn't notice the shivering just pulled her closer with a soft moan. He touched her leg and inner thigh and went up with all gentleness and shyness and with love. But that's where it definitely stopped making sense to her. She pulled away with a scared look having no idea what just happened not being able to put the pieces together.
"El?" he frowned with a surprise. She stood up and made some steps away from the bed. "El... You're okay? I'm stupid. I'm sorry. It was too much?"
Her body started to tremble uncontrollably. Something flashed in her mind; a memory. It confused her and she wasn't certain what was she feeling like. She just stood there starring down on the floor. Mike knew right away this was a mistake and he wanted to slap himself for it. "El..." he said worriedly. „Did I hurt you? What happened? Please talk to me." Hurt her? No one really asked these questions when they touched her like that... No one really cared. She was just a number. Couldn't be hurt by touches. How does all this pain linked with Mike and how she felt about him just few seconds ago? How could it go from such a beautiful feeling and butterflies in her stomach to this mess? She just recognized something in these touches, like it wasn't entirely new to her.
"What did you... what were we doing?" she whispered with tears in her eyes. He now gaped at her taken aback. He hurriedly stood up too so he could try to hug her but she didn't let him, taking some more steps back. He looked at her all worried.
"El, what is it? Tell me what's happening. I'm sorry I..." he mumbled in total confusion and panic. In the next room Joyce woke up hearing her daughter crying. She got up and went to the hall just to make sure everything was okay. She slowly and quietly approached the 3-inch opened door of El's room.
"You... wanted to hurt me..." El whispered as tears started to run down her face.
"What? No... of course not. That is the last thing I would want to do, El..." he caressed her cheek gently. "I swear…"
"But… but you touched me like..." He just tried to pull her close but she suddenly found herself not being able to take a breath. She closed her eyes and scrawled down to the floor, her back leaning against the wall. "El, El!" she heard Mike whispering but it was like she fell deep into herself to her own Upside Down-like world in her mind. Or was it Upside Down now? Lately she didn't seem to recognize the difference because she no longer had the powers to use to find anyone. It was like the world was finding her instead now. She felt the wound inside of her. It was wide open. Mike's alarmed voice changed into another familiar voice. "Eleven."
"Papa," she mumbled and looked up where she saw him standing. Her cheeks were full of tears now. "Just don't move now okay…" She began to scream right away before he would have a chance touch her. The flashback or whatever it was gave her chills.
"Mike!" she screamed. Joyce opened the door now as she couldn't stand it anymore.
"I'm here, I'm here!" he whispered as he embraced her again and scooped her up into his lap as he kneeled beside her. "It's okay. It´s me! Open your eyes! Open your eyes! El!" he tried to say it loudly but not so loud that he wouldn't startle her. She very slowly calmed down in his arms as he rocked her.
"Mike…" she sobbed, opening her eyes.
"Hey… It's okay, El. I promise!"
"I just… I got lost," she said quietly after a few minutes of absolute silence. Joyce stood in the open door, her hand over her month, nearly crying along with her.
"What… what happened to you two?" she whispered and put the lights on. Mike looked at her astounded, also not being far from tears himself.
"I apologize," he whispered. "I can… I can explain," El hugged him tightly looking up to Joyce.
"It's alright. I promise. I will tell you later okay?" she mumbled. Joyce shook her head all scared, she wasn´t coping as well as she would want to. She missed Hopper so much but she had to take care of three kids facing loss too. One of them facing loss of her powers and her whole life as she knew it. Lately, it had been too much on her. El was waking up crying during the nights screaming Mike´s name. She hoped now when he came for Thanksgiving, she would get better. But now when she cried even when Mike was there next to her, Joyce feared it might be something more serious than she originally thought.
"I'm just going to bring you some camomile tea, okay?" It was their solution for the nightmares. The two of them would just drink camomile tea at nights. Some days were actually nice, everything seemed to be fine. But they just all went through too much to not to be traumatized. She realized El needed some time alone with Mike. The truth was that her and El… Oh they should have talked about this more, she thought as she was making the tea in the kitchen.
In Jonathan's room, Nancy and him were also awake and he was trying to explain what happened a few weeks ago and how their lives are now. "Honestly, I am becoming really worried, she is not okay…"
"No surprise. I mean… she is so strong, but imagine she has to start from a total zero. She has just you, Will, your mum… Mike. Us, but we are far away. What happened in the school?" Nancy asked.
"I think she… you know, got her… period for the first time and started to freak out. Weird things started to happen and everyone noticed. Nancy, it's not good. And mum? She is like… I would say she is as bad as she was when Will got missing. This is not fun anymore. The principal of the high school…. social services."
"Poor girl…" Nancy gave a sight remembering that she also got her first period at school. And how scary and uncomfortable that felt and how Barb helped her. And they knew that this would come someday, Nancy realized that El maybe didn't even do that.
"What do you mean exactly?" Jonathan asked.
"I mean…" Then they heard El screaming for the second time. "Oh my…!" Nancy got up immediately.
"Nanc!" She didn't mind Jonathan and went to the hall and straight to El's room. She met Will at the hall who was also visibly worried.
When Joyce left the room Eleven was just thinking: Oh Joyce, I know what you are worried about. You are just like Hop. You wanted to talk to me about this, I know. But to be honest, I just kept avoiding the conversation because it just haunts me. They talked about some of these things with Max, but she kept advising her to read more in the girl's magazines. El tried, but often had no idea what they were talking about. She grew to feel intimidated when she was to change her clothes, so she always went to the bathroom when Mike or anyone was around. Just as he taught her right after they met. Privacy. But there were times when this would be perfectly normal and she wouldn't think it is weird if someone saw her naked, she thought this is the way it was. Then she understood with Mike and with Hopper that this is definitely not the way it was. Also her body started to look… different and she became to understand that she should keep the way her body looked private. And that also what they share with Mike is their private thing and if someone would be once allowed to see her naked it would be him. Only him.
"El…" he whispered to her since she started to breathe normally now. "How are you feeling?" How is she feeling? She expected him to act differently. She thought he would be annoyed and usually a punishment would come, and she would be alone again. Maybe locked in a solitary room until she wouldn't do what they wanted her to do. The memories were just coming back in waves to her. "I'm sorry. Just don't… be mad okay?" she whispered.
"What do you mean mad, El?" he raises his voice slightly, not too much to scare her but being alarmed by what she just said.
"That I didn't want you to…"
"El… Listen, no one has a right to be mad if you tell them not to touch you, okay?" Really? She remembered how she screamed. No, no, no! It hurts! No please! But they would just continue and she would just cry.
"They don't?" she managed to whisper. His heart sank over how the toxicity of childhood spent in the lab was taking over her. He wanted to destroy that place and kill Brenner or anyone responsible.
"Of course not! You need to remember that, okay? No one, me or anyone else… has the right to touch without your permission, you get that?" She started to cry in silence this time. He held her closer as he felt her breath to shorten again. "If they don't stop, they are bad people, okay? They just… lie if they say they do have the right." Then it struck him. He took a breath. "El…. Did this happen to you already?"
"No…" she mumbled.
"El? Please I need to know… El listen, in the lab, someone touched you like this?" She broke into tears and he knew what the answer was. It was like a dam wall breaking. Joyce, who was now standing in the door, dropped the cup of tea in the moment she realized what she just heard El saying.
El noticed and in the moment she almost felt like she could stop the cup from falling, she reached her hand over to and tried to use her powers, but she couldn't stop the cup and the tea spilled all over the carpet. "Noo…!" I screamed helplessly. She was back in the darkness. Papa was the only one who she could see now. "You are worthless without your powers, Eleven. No one will like you or want you. Or even accept you. Come to me and I'll help you."
"No! You lie!"
Mike, Nancy, Will, Jonathan and Joyce all present in the room now were frightened as the lights started to flicker. "Who is she talking to?" Nancy said her hand over her mouth.
"She is in there," Will whispered.
"It's Brenner!" Mike screamed. Nancy kneeled next to Mike and El.
"El… El it's okay! Can you hear me?" she tried to ask. El heard her but she couldn't see her. She knew she needed to come back, but she had no idea how.
"Nancy?" she called.
"Yes… Just open your eyes El! Come to our voices. El!" The Wheelers were trying to reach her. Joyce just cried, she remembered El's mother Terry, she just got lost, always just muttering things no one understood. Everyone thought she was crazy. This must not happen to El, she couldn't allow this to happen.
"Mike?" El cried as she tried to follow the voices but then someone grabbed her from behind and she fell deeper. You can't come back to them now, Eleven. You will stay alone.
Then it seemed like El lost her consciousness completely. "She is not breathing! Call the ambulance right now. Call it right now!" Nancy screamed as she was checking her breath and her pulse.
"No! We can't do this. We can't do this; she wouldn't want any doctors!" Mike said. "She will wake up…" he cried. "El, El…?"
"Mike… her heart… it's almost not beating. We need to save her life!" Nancy decided and looked at Jonathan. He nodded and called the ambulance immediately. It all happened so fast.