"Twould seem your talk is done." She stated as we entered the room.
"So this isn't a dream after all." He said, squeezing my hand.
"What is it to be then? Has a decision been reached?" She asked, ignoring him.
"Alastair has agreed." I replied, far more coolly than I felt.
"Mmm, and it seems you two have come to some...personal reconciliation, as well then?"
Alastair responded, "Why? Devastated you won't have the chance to try out my manly charms for yourself?" He grinned. "Alas Morrigan, my bed is reserved for one woman only." I felt my cheeks color.
She rolled her eyes. "Very well then Warden, come here, for there is much for you to learn and we haven't much time. Alastair, stay...oh I care not where...out of the way."
Morrigan pulled out Flemeth's grimoire and we knelt before the fire. The leather spine creaked as the book fell open to a well-read page. Morrigan began to read through the handwritten notes, translating for me as she went. For the next half hour, we worked until I had it exactly right. I rehearsed the words of the spell, repeating them back to her until they were correct. I studied the hand and arm motions to direct the ritual, the flow and release of magical energy, practicing until they were memorized.
"That should be it then. Make certain you perform the steps exactly as I have taught you. I have no need to tell you of the consequences of failure." She warned.
"Yes, I will. And thank you, my friend. I mean it." I hugged Morrigan, catching her by surprise.
"Off with you then. Dawn draws ever closer." She said gruffly, the corners of her eyes crinkling, though nothing else in her expression revealed anything.
I squeezed her hand and gave her a smile before I turned and left the room, Alastair following.
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We entered his room and he closed the door behind us.
"It will be nice to have a real bed for once." He commented. "I wouldn't have traded it for the world, but all that hard ground, it's tough on a man's joints." He said grinning, beginning to unbuckle his gauntlets.
"You should have said something. I'm on top of everything else in this war, I don't mind adding you to that list." I said with a wink.
He spluttered and I laughed quietly.
I began removing my armor in the remaining silence, only to turn and find him staring at me, shirtless, with his shirt still hanging from one hand, when I'd finished.
"You know, I very much enjoy the sight of you in your armor, but without it, Maker, you take my breath away." He said, smiling softly.
I felt my cheekbones burn and in response I gave him a pointed look up and down. "I could say the same for you. Not every man fills out his armor quite as well as you."
He threw his head back and laughed. "Oho, been sneaking glances at the other men have you? Well, I'm pleased you find me favorable in comparison." He snaked a hand around my waist and pulled me closer to him. "Be careful, my dear, you'll inflate my manly ego."
"Can't have that. Your ego isn't precisely the thing I want growing larger at the moment." I teased quietly, looking up at him. I placed a hand on his arm. "Are you ready?" I asked.
"For you, always. For this, well...as I'll ever be."
And with that I let a glow of soft red light suffuse the room emanating from my hands as I began the ritual.
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Afterwards we lay on the bed together. I lay with my head on his chest, tangling the fingers of one of his hands with mine as he traced invisible lines across my back with his other hand.
"So it's completed then?" he asked.
"It's done." I confirmed, "There's no turning back now. Why? Are you having second thoughts?"
"No...No. It's just...Whatever happens today, I'm glad we had tonight. I love you, you know. I can't imagine facing the battle tomorrow not having had the chance to tell you again."
He stopped tracing my back and took my left hand in his.
"I cannot wait to see my ring on your finger." He paused, thinking, the faint sound of our breaths stretching through the silence. "No, whatever happens today, I will be grateful for this chance, for you. Whatever comes, I can face it as long as you are with me." After a moment, I could almost hear him frowning as he grumbled, "Hmph. I suppose I ought to be grateful to Morrigan as well."
I laughed, lifting my head up from his chest to place a kiss on the hand holding mine before looking up at him. "I love you too. I can't say I think your decisions regarding me are the wisest, but I can't find it in myself to be sorry either."
He chuckled, and we lay together for a minute in silence. Eventually I sighed and started to push myself up to return to my room.
"What? Where are you going?" He asked as I rolled to the edge of the bed and stood up, pulling on my tunic.
"I've always returned to my tent after...Don't you think we ought to get some sleep tonight? It won't be an easy battle you know. And I doubt we'll get any if we remain together." I smiled at him.
"I know. Just...Stay? Please? If we only have a few hours left before the battle, I'd rather spend them with you. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep anyways." He asked, stretching his hand out towards me.
"I...oh alright." I said, taking his hand and allowing myself to be drawn into his arms, back into the warmth.
I nestled back into his side with his arm around me, my head back on his chest.
"Sleep then." He said. "I won't disturb you. It's just nice to have you near."
I listened to our breathing in the darkness as I allowed the sound of his heartbeat to slowly lull me to sleep.
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The following morning we woke to the sound of a servant sent by Arl Eamon knocking on the door. We dressed quickly and quietly in the darkness, fastening tunics, lacing boots, and buckling armor on. The intimacy of the night before was gone, replaced by a somber apprehension for the day to come. Alastair handed me my weapon as I buckled the last straps on his pauldron and he took a step to head for the door.
"Wait." I said, placing a hand on his chest. "Before we go, I need to ask something of you."
"Something else? Well, I think you know by now there's almost nothing I wouldn't do for you, my dear. Just say the word and it's yours. So what can I get you, a ring with a diamond the size of your thumb, the beating heart of a dragon, the moon perhaps?"
"Ha." I deadpanned. "We can talk about rings later. No, I'm serious. You aren't going to like it."
"What is it?"
"If Riordan fails today, and it's down to just you and me at the end, you must let me strike the final blow."
"No."
"Alastair, please…"
"No. I'd do almost anything for you, but not that."
"Please. You must let me do this in case the ritual fails, in case something goes wrong. I am a Warden. This has been my duty and my purpose since the moment the cup touched my lips. You have another greater obligation. Fereldan needs its king."
"And it's my duty, as king, to make sure my country survives this Blight. I didn't want to be king, but if I am to be, then I want to be a good king. If someone has to risk taking that final blow, for Fereldan it should be me. No one could blame me for that, could they?"
"Alastair, as king it's your duty to stay alive. This country couldn't handle another civil war if you were to die. If something goes wrong, I'm expendable. I will have only died doing what Wardens are destined to do. You are not. Your people need you and I...I need to know that you are safe as well. If the ritual fails, I need to know that you will survive even if I don't."
"And yet you would ask me to do the same for you? You think I want you going in there and sacrificing yourself? You're anything but expendable. We wouldn't be here, this close to defeating the Blight without you. My love, I won't. I can't stand by and watch as you take that risk. You're carrying a child. My child. You know how I feel about you. I won't stand back and watch you risk yourself, not if there's anything I can do about it."
"It's only a risk if the ritual didn't work and there isn't a child. And I don't think it will come to that. But you cannot place me before the entire country. They need you alive. I need you alive. If the dragon doesn't yet kill me today, losing you again might. Please. Promise me."
He sighed, and pulled me into him. The cold armor of his breastplate pressed into my cheek as his arms wrapped around me and his chin settled on top of my head.
"You are a stubborn, stubborn woman."
"I know." I whispered against his armor.
"Very well then." He said.
"Thank you." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"But no extra risks today. I know it's a battle, and we both will do what we must, but keep yourself safe, as much as you can. That's still a dragon out there. Don't put yourself in unnecessary danger. I won't lose you unless there's no other choice."
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Encountering the rest of the party in the great hall, Morrigan came to stand beside me.
"Tis done then?" She asked in a low tone so only the two of us could hear.
"It is."
She nodded once, sharply. "I hope you are prepared for what you are doing then." She said before walking off.
"I hope I am too." I muttered.
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Later that morning I stood before the assembled soldiers. Alastair stood on the makeshift stage behind me facing them, facing Denerim. In the distance, small spirals of smoke rose from behind the city walls. Before us stood hundreds of soldiers, tension radiating from their faces in a thousand different ways. As Alastair began to speak, I ought to have been focused on his words, but truthfully my mind was miles away, working through the possible outcomes of the coming battle.
He began to speak of me to the soldiers, gesturing for me to join him. He began to praise me, although truthfully I did not feel it. I didn't really feel like the savior of Fereldan, like proof of the Wardens' success.
I half-listened as he walked down from the stage to continue his speech on the ground, joining the soldiers assembled there. Despite all his reluctance, he was a good leader when he put his mind to be. He would be a good king...assuming we both survived the day. I placed a hand on my stomach, almost imagining I could feel something, though I knew that was impossible. This child, if the ritual had worked, could save us both. I could only pray that it would.
As Alastair finished his speech to the troops, in the distance the dragon appeared, circling over the city before settling on a rooftop. The battle had begun.
To Be Continued In One Final Part