No matter what Denki and I tried, we weren't able to get the purple grape-like orbs off of him. Not water, not soap, not scrubbing. All we really did was get his shirt kind of wet; which kind of made me fear for my life. I knew that he was basically a human Pikachu, able to go off at any time. So, of course, the idea of being electrocuted to death didn't seem like the most fun way to go out.

Denki Kaminari, however, didn't know that I knew about his Quirk, so I finally mustered up the courage to ask during our power washing incident what his Quirk was. I mean, he now knew what my Quirk was. Sticky balls, which would make a gross but pretty cool name for a metal band, according to him. I had to agree with that one.

"I electrocute stuff," he told me.

"So, shouldn't we not run like… running water all over your arm?" I had to ask. For both of our sakes, now that I thought about it. Water's a conductor of electricity, and a current definitely wouldn't be a good idea. Unless I wanted to know what execution by electric boy felt like.

"Nah, man," he said. "I'm pretty sure we'll be fine."

"Pretty sure?" My voice cracked. Damn it, Mineta.

"Yeah, pretty damn sure!"

That definitely didn't make me feel any better about the situation, that was for sure. But the absolute uplifting tone from Denki did keep it from being much worse. It wasn't hard to see why he was so well-liked. He was likable, the kind of guy that anyone would want to be friends with.

That I kind of wanted to be friends with.

"Well, this sucks," he said, shaking his head. "Looks like I'm stuck like this, aren't I?"

"I'm sorry," I answered apologetically, rubbing the back of my head. "The absolute last thing I wanted was someone to get stuck like that."

Denki shook his head. "No need to apologize, little man." I cringed a bit at him calling me that, but I let him continue. "Shit happens, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," as if that made me feel any less guilty.

"I do gotta question though," he questioned, cupping his chin with his hand. "How come when you touch your balls-"

"Please don't say it like that." I interrupted him.

"-You don't get stuck to 'em?" He finished.

I fell quiet for a moment. I didn't have very many answers, but that was one of the very few I actually had. In fact, I figured that one out in the shower. Minoru Mineta's skin wasn't like other humanoid's skin. It was ever so slightly rubbery in texture, but not to the point that anyone else could realize much of a difference. It was like a DNA thing, where the skin I had now was made to complement my hair completely. It was like putting vegetable spray on a frying pan to make sure things didn't stick.

I had a sticky head and an absolutely stick-proof body.

After I explained it to Denki, he went, "Ohhhhhhh!" followed up by a humorous and poignant, "I don't get it."

Yeah, I figured. But I didn't tell him that.

"Any idea when it'll come off of me though?" he asked.

"A day at the most," I remembered that mentioned straight-up in the anime. "So it sounds like you're gonna have to finish the exam up first." T

"The whole examination…" he mused. "Guess it could be worse. I shouldn't have just put my elbow on some random guy's head in the first place."

I shook my head. "It's not like there's any way you woulda known." The almost Osakan drawl from my new voice box reminded me a lot of my old southern accent, actually. "Don't worry about it, Kaminari."

"Denki," he corrected me. "We're friends now, right?"

"You… just met me."

"So?" A shrug of his shoulders as the relaxed blonde didn't seem to care about that whatsoever. "Life's too short not to try to make the best of every moment."

His dumb grin actually caused me to smile. Yeah. He's exactly the kind of person anyone would want to be friends with. He extended a hand out towards me and I shook off my social anxiety to shake his hand.

"Guess we're friends then," I finally answered after a long, awkward pause.

Pulling away, Denki grinned even bigger. "Alright, man. Guess we should make it to the classroom, right?"

"Guess so," I answered with a nod. "Just… Don't lean your elbow on the seat. I don't think that'd be a good idea."

Denki paled slightly at the thought of being super glued to a seat in the auditorium for the rest of the day, and to be honest? I didn't blame him a bit.

I let Denki lead the way, mostly because my directional skills weren't up to snuff in an entirely different country. As soon as we entered the auditorium, the reality of my situation had kicked me in the gut. The chattering of a lot of hopefully future students filled the room. Quirked individuals, and even some that were Quirkless, from all over Japan wanted to join U.A. University. Not just Denki Kaminari and the shell of a body I was currently inhabiting.

It was intimidating to think that so many superhuman individuals were gathered in one room. All of which could probably kill me and my sticky balls in a snap of my finger.

"Let's sit on this row!" Denki had gone ahead and found a place for us to sit, next to a vaguely familiar looking girl in the row.

The girl he was sitting beside had a punk rock aesthetic and long earlobes to the point that they reminded me of earphone cords. It was clear to anyone who watched My Hero Academia who she was: Kyoka Jiro, soon to be known as Earphone Jack.

"Sup?" Denki asked her as I sat down on the other side of the blonde.

She looked up at her phone towards him and myself before looking down at her phone.

"She's super friendly…" Denki muttered.

"I'm sitting right next to you and can hear every word you're saying," was the girl's response.

Denki chuckled nervously, as I rolled my eyes. If only my new friend could be a little bit quieter. Or a lot quieter. I wasn't picky.

"Hey," the girl had spoken up again. "What's that on your arm?"

A slender finger pointed towards the deep purple orbs currently hanging off of Denki's arms. He laughed again, but this time, jovially, as he pointed towards me.

"His balls."

"I asked you not to say it like that!" I shot towards him, which just caused him to wave me off.

"...Right," was her response, "I'm guessing that's his Quirk."

"Yep!" Denki answered for me.

The silence fell around us again as the short-haired girl went back to her phone. Denki glanced back towards me, obviously ready to make conversation while we waited when we heard her voice again.

"Kyoka Jiro."

"Huh?" I asked, barely hearing the introduction leave her lips.

"My name's Kyoka Jiro," she repeated.

"I'm Denki Kaminari!" With a grin, the blonde between us immediately decided to speak up.

"And I'm Minoru Mineta," I added with a nod.

Before we could say anything else, a loud voice shouted from the stage. Denki and I cringed from the incoming blast of sound from the man's lips, but Jiro didn't seem too affected. He wasn't even using his Quirk and he was loud as can be.

"Welcome to today's life performance! Everybody say, 'Heeeeeeey!'"

It became so silent that a pin could drop in the auditorium and everyone could hear it if it did. The man on the stage was none other than Present Mic, a Pro-Hero and one of the teachers at U.A. University. And a loudmouth, but everyone knew that.

When it was obvious no one was going to play into this, he began speaking once more. "Well, that's cool, my examinee listeners! I'm here to present the guidelines of your practical! Are you ready?!"

Two exams. A practical examination and a written examination. The written exam didn't scare me; if I really had the abilities that Mineta had, I should be able to pass that easily. And even if I didn't, I was always good at process of elimination and faking my way to good grades in school. That made me feel a lot more at ease.

But being reminded about the practical exam made me shiver in anticipation. Or whatever the opposite of anticipation was. Disanticipation?

Present Mic's presentation for the practical test had a time limit: ten minutes, to be exact. There were three kinds of robots that everyone would run into. One pointers, two pointers, and three pointers. The higher the number of points, the more difficult the robot would be. I doubted that I would be able to take out a one point robot, not less a three point one.

And then there was the elephant in the room, one that a certain glasses-sporting hopeful decided to point out.

"Excuse me, sir!" he shouted out, "May I ask a question?"

Iida Tenya, the younger brother of the Pro-Hero, Ingenium. A smart man, although he could be a little uptight from what I remembered from the show. Okay, extremelyuptight, but he seemed to have a good heart and that had to be one of the most important things that a hero needed, right?

Now that I thought about it, how did Mineta even get in this to begin with, then?

Those thoughts were moved out of my head when Tenya started up once more.

"There appear to be no fewer than four varieties of faux villain on this handout!" He proclaimed. He was right, but did he really have to bring it up in the middle of a debriefing session that hundreds of other students were at? "Such a blatant error, if that is one, is highly unbecoming for U.A., Japan's top university! We're all here today in hopes of being modeled into model heroes!"

He wasn't wrong. It was pretty unprofessional for Present Mic to just gloss over it, but every academia was like this in my honest opinion. I'd never been the most warm towards professors or teachers or anything like that. To me, it felt like they did their job for the money and nothing else. Whether U.A. would be the same way, was yet to be seen.

"And you, with the curly hair!" Tenya continued, "You've been muttering this whole time! It's distracting! If this is some sort of game to you, then please leave immediately!"

Said muttering boy uttered a "Sorry…" in response, and everything came into focus for me right then and there.

There was the hero of this story, Izuku Midoriya. A plain looking boy with bushy hair and freckles, who would go from a worrying Quirkless boy given a Quirk by the number one Pro-Hero to the defacto greatest hero this world had ever seen. To see him in real life was interesting, as he didn't seem to be anything special.

But I'd watched his feats before. He was the one who truly mattered here. The rest of us were just supporting players in this little story.

Eureka. A realization came to my brain right then and there. As Present Mic explained that the fourth robot was more of an obstacle than anything and was worth zero points, my brain was going into overdrive. This could have been a whole lot worse for me. I could have been reincarnated as Izuku Midoriya; someone who had a Quirk that meant until he learned it, he would be breaking his bones all the time. Or I could have been reincarnated as the gruff boy next to him, Katsuki Bakugou. Someone who eventually got kidnapped by the League of Villains.

While I was unlucky to get such a useless Quirk as this, I was lucky that I wouldn't be thrown into the same spotlight that they were. There would be no promises that I could survive like they were able to. I'd be in danger pretty much every week, and that'd be the fucking worst.

Always look on the sunny side of life. Or at the very least, the slightly overcast side of life in comparison to the category five hurricane side of life.

"Hey, dude!" Denki brought me out of my thoughts, "You're spacin' out. You chill?"

"Oh, yeah, uh, I'm fine."

"Guess it's time to go," Kyoka spoke, as she stood up from her seat, "I'd rather deal with the practical exam than the written exam anyway."

"Right?" Denki added with a laugh, "Last thing we need is to fail both exams, right?"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, blondie," was Kyoka's response, rolling her eyes.

"Hey."

The word left my mouth before I really could think about it, bringing both of their attentions towards me. Well, down and towards me, since I was shorter than both of them.

"What's up, lil buddy?" Denki asked, tilting his head slightly.

"I think if you guys are too worried about the exams, we should work together," I figured, "I'm not worried about the written exam. But the practical exam-"

"You want us to work with you," Kyoka interrupted, "Because you're afraid you can't pass with your Quirk."

"...Well, when you put it that way? Yeah. That's exactly right."

"What's in it for us?" she asked.

I mused for a second. It was worth a shot. I wasn't exactly sure that this would work, but I figured that the offer I had in mind would be the perfect incentive in times like these.

"The written exam," I said. "I'm pretty sure I'll pass that with flying colors. There'll be time between the practical exam and the written exam to relax, right? We'll make that our study session."

Denki and Kyoka glanced at each other, before I decided to try to sweeten the deal.

"You'll make a better grade than you would originally. Guaranteed! Just work with me here. Okay?"

"You got it, Minoru!" was Denki's response, his grin as infectious as ever, "I'll work with you to the end!" What a good boy. If I hadn't just met him today, I'd probably hug him right then and there.

"It's a deal," Kyoka agreed. "But… If your Quirk really is… sticky balls… how are you gonna pass the practical exam even with our help? There's no way you could destroy a robot like that."

"It'll be like an assist."

"A wha?" Denki asked, arching an eyebrow towards me.

This was just a theory. A hero theory. But it had to be something that could work. I was the only person out of the student body that knew about Rescue Points, the exact same way that would let Izuku join the Hero course despite destroying a zero point robot and breaking his body like a fragile breadstick.

If I assist Kyoka and Denki by slowing down the robots, there's a chance that I could also get some of the Hero Points allocated to me. Or at least the Rescue points.

It was a shot in the dark, but I'd have to give it a shot.

"An assist!" I insisted about the assist... insistently. "I'll slow down the robots, and then you and Kyoka take them out."

By the looks on both of their faces, it seemed like that wasn't exactly a terrible idea at all. Since all three of us were young with drawbacks in our Quirks, we'd need all the help we could possibly take.

"Dude, did anyone tell you that when you sweat, you smell like a fruit basket?"

"No, but thanks for letting me know, Denki."

"No problem!"

So that's where the grape smell was coming from: me. Thankfully, I ended up being wrong about needing to wear my hero costume, so at the very least I wouldn't be a short pipsqueak wearing a diaper and smelling like an orchard. It could be worse, I figured.

I was nervous, and for good reason. Not that I'd fail the exam. If I failed, I'd have to just try again the next year. And who knows what that'd do to whatever kind of morbid curse I was currently under. But that was the least of my problems.

I was a lot more worried about getting killed by a robot stepping on me or something. I'd be a squashed grape in the middle of the road in no time.

I did have an insurance policy in the names of Kyoka Jiro and Denki Kaminari, but there was a drawback to that too. I knew about Denki being pretty much useless once he sent out a good blast of electricity. That would mean that Kyoka would have to take out the rest of them while I covered for her.

Not only that, but if I used too many of my balls, I'd start suffering from blood loss. So at the end of it all, this was still a huge risk with unknown payoff.

"I hope all of you are ready!" I heard Present Mic's voice boom out over the sprawling faux-city this challenge was in, "And… Begin!"

Not even time to really think about it. The ten minutes were officially on. I watched as Denki and Kyoka dashed off, and I ran behind them, but mostly ended up feet behind them.

Annoyance taking over my body, not at them, but at this stupid small body I was currently inhabiting.

"Wait for me!" I called out towards them. "I have little legs!"

I yanked a few balls off of my head and tossed them towards the feet of a passing-by robot. The first couple of times I tried this, I missed. But now that I was getting used to it? The robot was stuck in the sticky, swampy mess that were my grape balls.

...God, I don't think I could ever get used to saying that.

"Kyoka, now!" I exclaimed.

I covered my ears, just as I had done just a couple of minutes beforehand. A loud sonic boom radiated from the area, slamming into the robot and crashing it into the wall behind it. Denki, who also had his ears covered beside me, began to shout, impressively.

"She's really awesome, isn't she?!"

"What?!" I hollered back. The sound of the sonic boom made sure that I wasn't positive if I heard him right or not.

"No?! What do you mean no?!"

"I didn't say no!" I had answered, hearing that part at least, "I said 'what!'"

"What?!"

The sonic boom finally came to an end, Kyoka's slender body standing up and her tucking some of her short hair behind her ear. Denki flashed her a thumbs up, which caused her to roll her eyes.

"Good jo-"

I wasn't able to finish that sentence when the building behind Kyoka began to collapse, a mecha rising from its rubble, swiping its claw down at our unofficial teammate. She glanced up, eyes widening at the sudden attack, before a bolt of electricity was summoned from Denki's body, waves of voltage sent flying towards the robot.

I watched as the usually relaxed look of my hopefully-soon-to-be classmate morphed into something more determined. A serious look had crossed his face, as the lightning summoned from his body began to deactivate the robot. Kyoka took this chance to run and join us before the mechanical behemoth finally collapsed where she was originally standing.

She was out of breath, and maybe even slightly spooked by the experience. And for good reason. I probably would have had a heart attack if I was in her place like this.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked.

"I think so," she answered, a hand on her chest as she caught her breath. She turned towards Denki, muttering a word of thanks towards him before blanking at the sight before the both of us.

Denki was a blank-faced, drooling mess, flashing us both double thumbs up. The exact thing I was hoping we'd avoid. If Denki used too much of his Quirk, he'd become… this lumbering lummox. I glanced up at Kyoka, who glanced back down at me.

"Guess we're on our own for the rest of this, aren't we?" she asked.

"He'd probably make good bait," I joked. The chuckle from the punk girl's lips caused me to laugh ever so slightly too.

At the very least, the electric shock seemed to make the balls on his elbow fall off. It's the little victories in life, you know?

"It's all… over!"

Those words were enough for me to fall to my knees, Denki still lumbering around awkwardly behind me. With these arms of mine, even throwing my balls to slow down robots for Kyoka were incredibly exhausting. But it was definitely positive enough that Kyoka would have enough Hero Points to pass with all of the robots she ended up demolishing.

I was also positive that Denki would pass too. The mumblings about a boy who had saved a girl from a zero point robot was going through the rounds, which meant that my memory of Rescue Points may have been real. With his act of selflessness, it was obvious that Denki would be in the very same place that Izuku was.

As for me, I wasn't so sure. I helped Kyoka and Denki the best I could, but that didn't mean that would get me into the Hero Course. But I survived, and that was a big enough consolation prize for me.

"We did it," Kyoka said. "Thanks for the help. Both of you."

I nodded. "Not a problem. Just glad to not be completely useless."

"No one's completely useless." She shook her head. "Anyone can be a hero, too. Even people with… strange Quirks like that."

That was… oddly uplifting. Even with a Quirk that could be seen as pretty useless, I was able to support two comrades with surprisingly strong Quirks. And that was something I wouldn't forget for anything. Even if this was the end of my journey and I woke up from this dream once more, I feel like I learned something from all of this.

...All punctuated by the droning, dumb-founded "Yayyyyy" coming from Denki's lips.

Minoru Mineta really was smarter than I gave him credit for. Having his brain and memories, I could answer any questions that Kyoka and the now back to normal Denki could throw at me. Thank goodness. If there was anything going right for me at that time, it had to be the knowledge inside this little gremlin's brain.

"I doubt we'll make great grades," Denki mused. "But damn, do I feel smarter already!"

"Anything's better than that brainless zombie you were earlier," Kyoka snarked, but Denki didn't seem to mind at all.

"See? I scratch your back, and you scratch mine." I grinned slightly, but with Mineta's face, I'm sure it came out to be kind of creepy. "We've done everything we could and that's… something."

"Could be worse," Kyoka shrugged.

"We tried our best, we have no regrets," Denki added.

He had a point. At least we tried. That was better than crashing, burning, and being killed by robots. Always a step up if you asked me.

"Before we have to go boring ass tests though," Denki spoke up, pulling out his cell phone, "I want you two's numbers."

"Why?" Kyoka asked, dryly. "You better not send me any dirty messages in the middle of the night."

"Of course not!" Denki's face turned red which definitely made him stand out a little bit. "I'd never! Now my lil buddy over here-"

"Don't fuckin' drag me into this!" I shouted, almost dropping Mineta's cell phone onto the floor. I'd hate to be with a shattered cell phone. That'd suck.

Minoru Mineta was nothing more than a pervert and a coward. While I was scared out of my wits, I was at least going to fix the former while I was stuck like this. Sure, I was a guy, so I'd still have those urges, but at the very least I could keep those to myself and I wouldn't spout it all over the place like he did.

For the most part, everything was starting off well. And I planned on keeping it that way.

"How did the test go?"

I found myself back in the passenger's seat of Mama Mineta's car. The short woman took no time to start questioning me on how I thought I did. In a world where hero work was one of the biggest things you could ever do. Of course she would be interested in knowing how I did.

"I hope I passed." I guessed. "I think."

"You think?" she asked, as she drove. "It's always been your dream to be a hero, Minoru."

It had always been his dream. Something that I should have known by now. Anyone who wanted to join U.A. clearly had superheroics as their dream and goal in life. That was a heartwarming thought. There had to be something good inside of him if he wanted to do something like this. But for some reason, I couldn't remember or figure out what it was. Maybe it was because I was so exhausted.

"You know why, right?" I asked. Maybe some leading would give me the answers I wanted.

"Of course I do, sweetie."

She was silent for a moment before she furrowed her brows in thought. Before long, she finally gave me the answer I was seeking.

"You told me it was for the tits and ass, dear."

The innocent, almost normal way she said it almost didn't make me roll my eyes at the body I was currently in.

I laid in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, gazing up at the ceiling in thought. I hadn't had time to actually think things through before now, and just let things finally sink in.

First off, I was in another world for a reason I had no idea as to why or how I got there. In a lot of isekai like stories, there was many ways it could happen, but the most common one was death. I stared up at the ceiling, and frowned.

That's exactly what happened.

A bus. Something I joked about earlier. I got flattened by a bus that couldn't stop its brakes. Or at least, I hoped the driver just couldn't stop its brakes. It'd suck to know that someone just wasn't paying attention or something like that.

Okay, so this was definitely an isekai situation. So now, I had to figure out what I had done in my past life to be reincarnated as Minoru Mineta of all people. I couldn't really find an answer for that one, though. Maybe I accidentally stepped on my dog's paw by accident? Any guess was as good as any other, I figured.

Where did I go with this? My life was effectively over if my memories were correct. I wasn't me anymore. I was Minoru Mineta: a small pervert with the greatest superpower of all, sticky balls. As I realized before, it could always be worse, but this wasn't my first choice of a reincarnation if you asked me.

I'd have to make it work and try to bottle up the trauma of being in a dangerous world away from my loved ones and previous life. Much easier said than done, but I knew I didn't have a choice in the matter. This was my life now.

That vaguely horrifying thought was the last thing that crossed my mind before I fell asleep in the unfamiliar bed, in that very unfamiliar room.

With a couple of friends under his belt and the entrance exam out of the way, all that's left for our MC is to wait and see if his theory was correct or not. But with test results, that can take a while, so next time we're going to have a bit of a diversion from the main storyline as our MC begins to try to hone Pop Off. What'll happen?

Find out next time on But Pop Off, I Guess!