The Lost Boys congregated in the jungle to take a closer look at the treasures they had just found.
"Three Never Bird eggs!" Slightly said. "I can't believe it!"
"What should we do with all the gold?" Cubby said.
"Well, we have to figure out how to open them first," Nibs said.
"Yeah, how do we open 'em, Peter?" the Twins asked.
"Like you do with any egg: crack 'em," Peter said.
Slightly tried cracking an egg on Cubby's head.
"Ouch!" Cubby said. "What was that for?"
One twin tried cracking an egg on the head of the other twin.
"Ow! Knock it off!" the other twin said.
Neither egg was broken. Peter laughed uncontrollably at the shenanigans.
"These are tough eggs," Slightly said.
"Well, yeah, you didn't think Never Bird eggs were gonna break as easily as normal eggs, did you?" Peter said. "You gotta crack 'em over really hard surfaces."
"Strange, I thought Cubby's thick skull was hard enough of a surface," Slightly said.
"Hey, shut up!" Cubby said.
The Lost Boys went around looking for hard surfaces to crack their eggs on—rocks, trees, coconuts—but nothing proved hard enough to break the Never Bird eggs.
As the boys continued their cracking spree, Tinker Bell started acting frantic. She told Peter to look behind him, and when he did, he saw Captain Hook and Smee in a cart furiously driving toward him.
"Boys! It's Hook!" Peter yelled. "Hurry! To the hideout!"
The Lost Boys all scrambled to follow Peter back toward Hangman's Tree. Hook took out one of his golf clubs and leaned out of the cart as Smee drove him up to the boys. The last one in line was Tootles, and as the golf cart drove by him, Hook whacked him with his golf club, sending him down for the count. Next up was Cubby, then the Twins, then Nibs, then Slightly. Hook whacked them down one by one as the cart slowly caught up to Peter.
"I'll get you, Peter Pan!" Hook yelled. Smee lost control for a moment and swerved the cart, almost knocking off Hook. "Whoa! Steady, Smee!"
"Aye, aye, sir."
Peter then started weaving between the trees of the jungle, taking the windiest flight path he could manage, swerving left, then swerving right, then back left again, then back right again. Smee tried keeping up, taking hard turns with the unwieldly golf cart.
"Careful, Smee! Care—" On one of the turns Smee made, Hook lost his grip on the cart and was sent tumbling back several yards.
Smee was closing in on Peter. "We almost got him, Captain! We almost—" Smee looked to his right and noticed Hook was gone. "Captain?" He stopped the cart immediately and looked back. He saw Hook lying in the dirt off in the distance. Smee drove back toward him and got out of the cart. "Captain? Are you all right?"
Hook popped right up and grabbed Smee's shirt with his hook. "You blithering blockhead! We were so close to getting him!"
"I'm sorry, Captain! I tried following him, but he was so… twisty-turvy and all. I'm sure we could catch him again if we just—"
"No, it's no use, Smee. He got away this time. Let us just return to our vacation."
"Yes, sir. Of course, sir," Smee said. Hook and Smee got back into the golf cart and drove out of the jungle.
Peter and Tink flew back the way they came to find the Lost Boys. All the boys were still on the ground and dizzy from Hook's attack. They only just began to get their bearings straight again.
"My head hurts," Slightly said.
"My butt hurts," Cubby said.
"My whole body hurts," Nibs said.
"Me too," the Twins groaned in unison.
Peter helped all the boys get back up on their feet. "We can't let Hook get away with this," he said. "Not after he did this to you guys!"
"Yeah, let's give him a piece of his own medicine!" Cubby said.
"That's taste of his own medicine, numbskull," Slightly said.
"Oh, yeah? I'll show you a numb skull!"
"Cubby! Slightly! Cut it out," Peter said. "Now, here's the thing: I heard Hook and Smee talking about them going back to their vacation. You know what this means."
"We're gonna make sure it's a vacation that Captain Hook never forgets," Nibs said.
"Precisely," Peter said. "And to do that, we're gonna need some of your pixie dust, Tink. We're all gonna have to fly for this one."
Smee and Hook drove back to the grassy fields to resume their game of golf. Hook said to Smee, "Even on our vacation, I still can't keep my mind off of that cursed brat! Oh, what a fool I am."
"It's all right, Captain. Just try not to think about him anymore. At least for the rest of the day. Repeat to yourself: Peter Pan does not exist. All is calm here in Neverland. Nothing exists except for me, Smee, and the golf."
"Peter Pan does not exist. All is calm here in… Oh, it would be so much easier to believe those words if it weren't for Pan and his gang of hoodlums constantly fiddling with our game!"
"Yes, I know, Captain. But I think you really showed them what for. I'd say they'll be out of our hair for the rest of the day at least."
"Yes, I suppose you're right, Smee."
Smee stopped the cart in roughly the same spot where they left off.
"Now, back to our game," Hook said. The two pirates got out of the cart and set up their balls. Hook was first to swing, then Smee. Both of them hit their balls quite far. Just as they were about to get back into the cart, however, the cart started shaking. Smee and Hook took a step back.
"Captain! What's going on?" Smee said. The cart then started rising into the air, floating like a balloon. Cubby was underneath it; he was holding it up as he flew through the air. "Why, it's one of Pan's Lost Boys!" Smee said with glee.
"What are they doing here? I thought I dealt with them for good!" Hook said. "Give us back our golf cart, you sniveling scoundrel!"
"You want it back? Okay, here you go!" Cubby said as he tossed the golf cart to the ground. The cart landed with a loud crash, just several feet away from crushing Hook. It broke apart into pieces upon impact.
"Our cart! Our beautiful cart!" Hook cried. "Look what you've done, you imbecile!"
Then in flew Peter and Slightly carrying one barrel, and the Twins carrying another barrel. The barrels were full of mud, fresh from the swamp, and Peter and Slightly dumped their barrel onto Hook while the Twins dumped their barrel onto Smee. The two pirates shrieked in disgust as they were drenched in the mud.
"You insolent devil children!" Hook cried. "You ruined my priceless golf clothes!"
The boys laughed hysterically, twirling and flipping through the air.
Finally, to top it off, Nibs and Tootles flew in carrying one more barrel, this one filled with colorful feathers from birds throughout Neverland. They dumped the barrel on both Hook and Smee, covering them in feathers. The pirates sputtered out some feathers that got stuck in their mouths.
"You look so pretty with all those feathers!" one of the twins teased.
"Well, what do you know? I've never seen a codfish with feathers before!" Peter said.
"I'll get you for this, Peter Pan! If it's the last thing I do!" Hook said. "But first, we're in desperate need of a bath."
Peter let out one of his victory rooster crows as he and the Lost Boys flew back to their hideout.
Before Peter was out of earshot from Captain Hook and Smee, though, he heard Smee say, "There are some nice hot springs up in the Neverland mountains, Captain. I've never been to them myself, but I've heard great things about them from the other pirates. Perhaps we could have our bath there."
"Hot springs? Yes, that sounds rather soothing. They're not too far away, are they?"
"Oh, only a short trek up the mountains. Shouldn't take too long, I presume."
"Then let's do it. I could go for a nice, hot soak right now."
Peter rushed back to the hideout in Hangman's Tree. The Lost Boys were all gathered in the underground den. "I just overheard Smee and Hook," Peter told them. "They're on their way to the hot springs to wash off. What do you say? Should we give 'em one last gift to remember us by?"
"Yeah!" the Lost Boys cheered.
"Well, lucky for them, I found the perfect thing." Peter pulled out a large bag filled with golf balls. "Neverbird eggs! I found a whole stash of 'em in Hook's cart."
Sometime later, Hook and Smee arrived at the hot springs up in the mountains. "You said it wouldn't take too long," Hook said, gasping for air.
"Took a little longer than anticipated, but no matter. We're here now," Smee said.
"Thank goodness. I can't take a single moment longer of all this romping about in muddy clothes." Hook dipped into one of the hot springs, and the mud and feathers washed off. "Ahhh, now that feels good."
Smee stepped into the same hot spring. "Oooh! Ahhh! Feels wonderful, Captain."
"Why don't we do this more often, Smee? I could get used to this. No Peter Pan, no pesky Lost Boys. Just you and me, and a nice, warm bath in nature."
"Oh, I could get used to this as well."
The mud in the water began to settle at the bottom, making the water clear again.
Just then, the Lost Boys emerged from the bushes. They were not wearing their usual animal costumes; they were instead dressed in swimming trunks. They ran toward the pool Hook and Smee were in and plunged into the water with cries of "Cannonball!"
"No! No! Anything but them!" Hook said. The boys started splashing water on Hook and Smee. "Stop this at once!" the Captain ordered, but to no avail. "It's times like these that I wish we had brought our weapons on this vacation," Hook said. The water began to turn a murky brown from all the dirt on the Lost Boys. "I can't stand this anymore! These filthy boys have contaminated this water." Hook got out of the pool and made his way to one of the other hot springs nearby.
"Wait for me, Captain," Smee said as he joined Hook in the other pool. However, Hook and Smee weren't the only ones to move to the other pool, because Cubby and Slightly also followed them in.
"Will you leave us alone?" Captain Hook yelled. "I don't want to be sharing water with a bunch of stinking, snot-nosed, flea-ridden brats!" The pirates got out of the pool and went to the third and last available hot spring, but the Twins followed them in there this time, driving out Hook and Smee from all the hot springs. Hook turned bright red. "Why can't we ever get a break from you hooligans? We just wanted one day away from you pesky vermin, and you still found a way to muddle everything up!"
"Then maybe you should think twice about beating up kids with a golf club!" Peter Pan said as he rose up from the foliage. He threw down the sack full of golf balls, and the Lost Boys all rushed to grab a handful of the balls. They began pelting Hook and Smee with the balls using all the strength they had. The pirates yelped as the balls were thrown at them, and they were eventually driven away and down the mountain.
"Go back to your lousy pirate ship and never come back!" Slightly said.
"Yeah, who needs ya?" the Twins said.
Peter let out another rooster crow as the Lost Boys cheered.
On their way back to the Jolly Roger, Smee asked Hook, "Captain, aren't we going to get back at Pan?"
"Another time, Smee," Hook said. "For now, let us get some proper rest back at the ship."
"Perhaps we should sleep in tomorrow," Smee said.
"Yes. Yes, that sounds quite nice, Smee."
At the hot springs, all the Lost Boys consolidated into one pool again. Given the choice, they always preferred to be together.
"We have the hot springs all to ourselves!" one of the twins said. He and the other twin high-fived each other.
"Thank goodness we got rid of those two bozos," Slightly said.
"I think that'll be the last we see of them," Peter said as he changed into his swimming trunks. He rarely ever took off his green tights and tunic, but he didn't like getting them wet.
"Do you really think so?" Nibs asked.
"Well, at least for a little while," Peter said. He joined the other boys in the hot spring. "But for now, we just continue on living the good life."
A/N: Well, there it is! I hope you enjoyed this short little story. I'd very much appreciate it if you left your thoughts on the story in a comment, as I like to get feedback. Thanks for reading!