I hope someone somewhere is enjoying this story. Happy reading!

If Kate could have had her camera ready, she would have captured the best photograph of her mother ever taken in history. The look of being thrilled at meeting new neighbors turned into a look of shock, confusion, and then horror. Her eyes kept going down to Phil's arm around Kate's waist and back up to Kate's face.

"Hi, Mum," Kate said weakly. Leah blinked a few times, opening and closing her mouth. Rascal came and pushed his face into Leah's waist, demanding pats. She automatically obliged while still staring at the two of them.

"Wha...what are you doing here?" she asked finally. "And who is this?"

"Don't freak out," Kate said, holding out her hand. "But, um, Phil is...he's my...erm..."

"Secret boyfriend," Phil finished for her, extending his hand to Leah. "Nice to meet you."

"Secret what?!" Leah exclaimed. She stopped petting Rascal, and the dog ran off to sniff his new home further since he wasn't getting anymore attention.

"Boyfriend," Kate repeated. Leah stared at her, and Kate just knew if she was allowed to, her mother would hit her hard.

"Would you like to come in?" Phil asked cheerily. Kate rammed him in the ribs with her elbow, making him grunt. Leah came inside slowly, and Phil let go of Kate and closed the door behind her. Leah didn't know what to do with her hands, so they kept shifting around.

"You mean to tell me that you've been dating someone all this time, and it's serious enough that you've moved in with him?" Leah asked, her tone dangerously low. Even Phil looked a bit alarmed now.

"I just didn't want to jinx it," Kate said. She knew it was a weak line at best, but she was trying to sell it as per boss's orders. She waited for her mother to explode, but she was surprised to see this didn't happen. Instead, her mother took in some deep breaths and put a fake smile on her face.

"Well, I don't understand why you felt the need to hide someone from us," Leah said. "I'm very disappointed in you, but that doesn't change the fact it happened. You're coming over for dinner tonight, and you're introducing him to all of us. No exceptions."

"Okay," Kate said, a mild whimper to her tone.

"Nice to meet you, Phil. I'm Leah," Leah said brightly to Phil now, shaking his hand. Kate winced as she noticed her mother holding his hand longer than usual. "Quite a looker, isn't he?" Leah turned to look at Kate.

"Mum!"

"What? I'm allowed to notice."

"Dad would be appalled," Kate pointed out.

"Oh, like he hasn't gawked at his fair share of good-looking women," Leah snorted, waving her hand. "It's what happens when you get pudgy in our old age. We look at nice figures, and it gets us going with each other."

"Mum!" Kate exclaimed, horrified.

"See you at six sharp," Leah said firmly. She went out the door, leaving Kate wishing she could either disappear or drop dead. Phil shut the door, and she could see he was fighting laughter with his back to her. His shoulders were shaking slightly.

"I am so sorry," she said when he finally turned around to look at her. He had a smirk on his lips.

"You did warn me," he noted. "And she wonders why you'd keep a boyfriend secret from her."

"This is not what I wanted," Kate moaned, gripping her face with her hands. "You meeting my entire family is going to end so badly."

"Big family?" he asked.

"Three siblings."

"I've done 'meet the family' before," he reasoned. "It'll be all right." He picked up his bags and headed down the hall to the guest room. Kate took a few minutes to collect herself. She was very much dreading that evening.

...

Phil got set up in the spare room. He switched on his laptop and pulled out his other electronic items he'd be using for this job. He was still chuckling to himself over Leah's comments. It was also amusing to see Kate so mortified. She wasn't entirely made of stone, then, if she could feel other emotions. He checked his phone, but Maddy hadn't texted him. She had been in seventh heaven upon finding out she was going to be staying with her friend Amy for a week. Phil wondered if she would miss him at all.

"Hey, you," Phil said when Rascal came up to him. "What's your name, huh?" He bent to read the dog tag. Rascal. Huh. So Kate hadn't been calling him a rascal back at the office. She'd been calling her dog. That definitely cleared things up. He gave Rascal some more scratches before the dog raced off to find Kate. He stood back up and kept unpacking. When he reached the cat carrier, he sighed. It wasn't ideal, but Amy was allergic to cats, and Phil wasn't leaving Luther home alone all week. He hadn't anticipated a dog being with them, but they would have to make nice.

"All right, you," he said, opening the door and reaching to pull Luther out. The cat instantly started trying to escape. Phil turned him so they were face to face. "No mischief. No pranks. You stay in the house, and for Pete's sake, get along with the dog. All right?" Luther simply stared at him, eyes narrowed, and Phil narrowed his right eye back. Then the cat wriggled hard, and Phil set him down before he jumped. The thudding footsteps of Luther racing away to hide got fainter after a moment. Phil was zipping his bag shut when he felt a presence behind him.

"How are we doing this?" Kate asked from the doorway after a moment. He turned to face her.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you staying in here?"

"Yes."

"We can't both have lights on or else they'll know we're faking it," Kate pointed out.

"I'm fine with the dark," Phil assured her. She nodded and moved on. He went to look out the window and logged in his brain that he could see into the neighbor's window next to them. He closed the blinds. After setting up, he went to find Kate in the master bedroom upstairs writing on her notepad.

"So, who are we?" he asked, leaning against the door jam.

"Well, I have to be Kate," she said. "Since my parents can't know I'm undercover. You're Phil. I don't know what to do about my career. They know I'm FBI. God, this is a nightmare." She gripped her face again, groaning.

"I can be a carpenter," he offered. "I've done it before, so it's not an entire lie."

"Okay."

"How did we meet?"

"Bar?" she asked.

"I like to think I'm a little classier than that," he said.

"I don't exactly hang out at classy joints," Kate retorted.

"Mutual friends?"

"I don't have any friends."

"You're making this harder than it needs to be," Phil pointed out.

"How am I making this hard? I said bar. You're the one with the problem with that. Therefore, you're making this harder than it needs to be," Kate snapped.

"Okay," Phil said, holding up his hands. "Bar it is. Simmer down."

If looks could kill, he'd have been murdered on the spot by her glare. She appeared to have inherited that from her mother.

"You're gonna have to work on the way you look at me if you want them to believe you love me," he added. He ducked the shoe that came flying at him. He got out of there before she straight up tackled him, which he had a feeling she just might do if provoked enough.

...

Kate was in a dither. She hated her boss for making her do this. She hated that Phil was enjoying her being tortured by it so much. She hated a lot of things. They hadn't even been able to start working on figuring out which house was storing a large amount of drugs in the neighborhood or who had murdered the informant, which was the entire reason they were even there. Kate was very grumpy.

"Did I say it first, or did you?" Phil asked as she came down the stairs changed for dinner. He was wearing a nice pair of black jeans with a navy t-shirt. She'd thrown on her white long sleeve, buttoned down shirt with blue jeans.

"Say what?" she asked, irritated. She could only imagine the hell her mother was going to put her through tonight for having a secret boyfriend.

"I love you."

"Excuse me?" she said, startled. She finally looked at him. "What did you just say to me?"

"I'm going to say that I said it first then," Phil said thoughtfully. "You were a little resistant but eventually came around."

Kate felt stupid. He had been asking who had said "I love you" to the other first. He hadn't been saying it to her in that moment because he did. She felt her face growing a bit hot.

"Sounds fine to me," she said stiffly.

"The siblings are?" he asked, looking at her intently. It was unnerving her. She hated that she noticed he had really nice eyes. It was like he could see into her soul.

"Oh, um...two brothers and a sister. Beth, Sean, and Jamie," she rhymed off.

"Oldest to youngest?"

"In that order, but I'm before Jamie," she explained.

"Who's the favorite?" he asked. She was taken aback. How would he know that?

"Sean," she said, her tone failing to hide her surprise.

"We all know there's a favorite," he said with a wink.

"What about you?" she questioned.

"Only child."

"Lucky bastard," she sighed.

"Not necessarily," he argued. "My parents only had me to put all their attention on."

"You're right. That would suck," Kate agreed. She looked out the window towards her parents' place and saw her siblings' cars all there. She felt her stomach churning.

"Hey," Phil said, standing next to her and making her look at him. "I got your back." She just nodded back. She couldn't hate him in that moment because he was being genuine. She inhaled and exhaled and then walked out the front door with Phil and Rascal in tow.

...

Phil could tell Kate was overwhelmed when they got to her parents' place. Leah threw open the door and hauled her inside. Oliver introduced himself and almost crushed Phil's hand, his meaning clear. He'd pummel Phil if he hurt Kate. Sean and Jamie did the same thing. Beth was giving him flirty eyes and reaching to touch his arm as often as she could. A toddler was racing around shrieking while Jamie's wife tried to catch him. Aaron and Hilary. Phil was doing his best to remember everyone's names and who they were. Beth was recently single. Sean had a long-term girlfriend, Nancy, who hadn't come tonight.

"So how did you manage to convince Kate to move in with you?" Sean asked now as they stood outside on the patio. Oliver was barbecuing while Leah fussed with getting things ready inside. Beth was hovering and listening. Jamie was now swinging his son around like a monkey, much to Hilary's despair and constant worrying he was going to get hurt.

"We just talked about it, and it seemed like a good idea," Phil shrugged.

"You must be really good cos ever since she got divorced, Kate's sworn off serious relationships. Casual only."

Phil swallowed. Kate was divorced? Why had she failed to tell him that?

"Evan was such a jerk," Beth chimed in. "He was cheating on her with multiple women. He would have kept going, but one of them got knocked up, so he had to tell Kate. He decided to be with that woman instead."

Phil did his best to act like he knew all of this information. He knew it was a test on their part to see if he really was a serious boyfriend.

"Well, I think I've convinced her that I'm not that kind of guy," Phil said. This response seemed to satisfy both of them as they drifted off to pester Kate next. When she finally got to him, she looked like she'd been to hell and back.

"You holding up okay?" she asked him quietly. They had moved to a corner of the yard to be alone.

"Oh yes," he nodded. "Apparently you've sworn off serious relationships since your divorce."

"Oh, shit," she groaned. "I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you that."

"How long ago?" he asked.

"Three and a half years," she answered, "but the divorce was final about two and a half years ago."

"So how long have we been together?"

"I said just under a year," Kate answered.

"I can work with that," Phil nodded.

"Katie!" Oliver called, waving his hand at her. "Your mother is requesting your assistance!"

Phil reached to squeeze her hand with his, knowing that if he didn't do any kind of physical affection, they'd figure out they were faking. He was a little surprised when she squeezed back.

...

Kate was surviving dinner. Phil seemed to fit in with her family easily enough, and if she hadn't known they were faking, it almost felt real. He was certainly charming enough, funny, and extremely helpful to her mother with cleaning up. Leah was practically swooning. Beth was too.

"Where did you find him, and where can I get one?" Beth asked her, tugging her off to the side.

"It was just luck," Kate shrugged. She felt aggravated by her sister in that moment. Was she just pretending things between them were the way they used to be?

"I'm over 40, and I need a man," Beth whined. "Does he have a brother?"

"No, sorry."

"Damn it," Beth muttered. Kate escaped from her and went to find her father smoking a cigar on the back step. Kate pulled out her cigarette and lit it, joining him.

"I thought you quit?" Oliver asked her, surprised.

"Not quite," she answered, exhaling and tilting her head back.

"You should."

"So should you," she pointed out. He chuckled.

"One cigar every now and then isn't so bad."

"Tell that to your lungs," she joked.

"Yours are one to talk," he retorted back. They both were laughing now. Kate felt more relaxed now than she had all night. Her father had that way about him. She was feeling confident that she and Phil could pull this off.

"There you are," Phil said, coming out to join them. If he was surprised that she smoked, he didn't let on. His poker face was very good, she had to admit.

Sorry, she mouthed to him when her father's head was turned. He just shrugged and stood a little off to the side out of the reach of the smoke in the air.

"So," Oliver said after a moment, studying them. "How's the undercover assignment going?"

Kate was mid-inhale with her cigarette and immediately started choking and coughing. Phil simply smiled and shook his head. Oliver was giving them both a look that suggested he thought he was the cat's meow.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kate tried, her voice hoarse.

"I'm a lawyer, dear. You can't hide bullshit from me," Oliver said.

"That's where I know you from," Phil said, snapping his fingers. "Oliver Macer, Prosecutor. I've heard you're a shark in court."

"Thanks," Oliver grinned at him. "What agency are you with?"

"DEA."

"Nice."

"You can't tell anyone," Kate said seriously, looking at her father. She felt slight alarm that he'd figured it out so quickly.

"Do I look like I'm nuts?" he countered.

"And Mum?"

"I'll handle her," Oliver promised.

"How many people in this neighborhood know I'm an FBI agent?" Kate asked.

"Just Bev next to us. She's harmless," Oliver dismissed. "She doesn't know what you look like, so you're all good."

"What gave it away?" Kate asked, curious. Oliver chuckled and looked at Phil.

"He's missing that look in his eyes that says he's head over heels in love with you," he answered.

"I tried," Phil said, giving Kate an apologetic look.

"That's all?" she asked, knowing there had to be more.

"Well, that and I know FBI agents do undercover assignments, which would explain the sudden moving into a big, empty house with a new boyfriend no one knew you had."

"Right. Well...don't tell the others," Kate said. "I can phase this out when it's over, and they won't know the difference."

"I won't say a word," Oliver promised.

"I think I'm going to call it a night," Kate sighed. She put out her cigarette and headed inside. Her mother got a bit upset that she was leaving. She wanted them to stay and watch a movie. Kate was adamant that she was tired and needed to go home to bed. Phil promised another time, and they managed to get out the door with Rascal and walked home. Once they were inside their place, Kate fell on the couch and buried her face with her hands.

"At least you won't have to pretend I'm a secret boyfriend anymore," Phil said to her, sitting in the chair beside her.

"Now I'm just going to be worried that she'll accidentally blab it out to someone," Kate groaned.

"Your sister was a bit handsy," Phil noted. Kate moved a hand to look at him.

"Handsy how?" she asked.

"I don't think my tush has been pinched that much in my lifetime," he answered.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he laughed. "Good thing I'm not really your boyfriend, though, cos that'd be a problem."

"Yea. Good thing," she echoed. Her heart twisted a little. He got up and left her alone after a moment, and Kate tried to feel relief that at least her parents knew she wasn't a liar. She just hoped they would keep their mouths shut to the rest of the world about what was really going on.

Then, something reached out and poked her lower back, and she shrieked, lurching off the couch and turning to see a small black paw swiping left to right, looking for her.

"What the hell is that?!" she cried, freaking out. Rascal charged in to the rescue, and he immediately went to sniff the couch, growling. "Get it, boy. Get it!"

"What's going on?" Phil asked, returning.

"There's a...a thing in the couch!" Kate exclaimed, pointing. Rascal was trying to get under the couch at this point and failing.

"Ah," Phil said. "That would be Luther."

"What is a Luther?" she asked, looking at him and feeling confused.

"My cat."

"Your...what?"

"Cat."

"You brought a cat," she said dumbly.

"You brought a dog," he pointed out.

"I'm not saying you shouldn't have," she corrected. "I just...I didn't know. It scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all. "I couldn't leave him home alone for a week. He'll mostly hide, but he does like to be an imp sometimes."

"Great," Kate said, more to herself than him. "Let's adopt a child while we're at it. Why not add one more element to the mix to try and pull off this ridiculous story?"

The black cat went streaking past them now with Rascal on its heels.

"Looks real, though," Phil said cheerily, turning to go back to his room. "Just wasn't enough to fool your father."

Kate said nothing as she stood there trying to calm down. Then she went to wrestle Rascal off the counter because the cat had jumped up on top of the fridge. Kate did not like dirty paws on her countertops.

"Go lay down," she ordered, snapping her fingers. Rascal gave her a bit of a wounded look (he thought he'd been protecting her, after all) before sighing and clomping over to his dog bed in the living room. Kate gave the cat one last look, its eyes boring into hers from its perch. She shuddered. Then she went up to her bedroom and shut the door.