Ed stood at the kitchen sink watching the sun rise over the backyard, it was going to be a beautiful day and hopefully the conversation he was about to have when Clark got home wouldn't ruin it, mug of coffee in hand and a bright grin on his face he let his mind drift to recount this mornings activities.
Sam had left about an hour ago telling him he was only a phone call away, but what Ed couldn't forget was the look of pure shock on his face when Ed had grabbed him and pulled him into the shower with him, although it probably had more to do with the fact that it was the most forward Ed had been since they had started sleeping together, usually it was Sam who did all the running and Ed went along for the ride … literally, but now they had made the decision to take their relationship public he felt less inhibited, there was a sense of relief that they wouldn't have to sneak around anymore or worry that someone would catch on to how they felt about each other.
As much as Ed wasn't big on public displays of affection, he still liked the thought that he could if he wanted to and so could Sam, who when he knew no one was looking had absolutely no qualms, especially when they were in close proximity to each other of running his hand down to the small of Ed's back and letting it rest there just that little bit longer then was necessary, or when they were in the locker room changing after shift he would play grab ass and laugh when Greg caught Ed giving him the death stare and asked him what was wrong.
Even with all of that Eddie was still terrified of what Clark would have to say about his dad being in a serious relationship with a man and a team member to boot, he knew Clark was open minded but this was a whole different situation, and one he wasn't even sure he knew how to go about broaching.
Sam and himself had talked a million different scenarios this morning, but when it came down to it Ed was lost and it wasn't as if he could even talk to Greg about it, and thinking of that that was going to be a whole neither can of worms, but they would cross that bridge when they came to it now the most important thing was his son, who at that precise moment walked though the front door, his bright cheerful voice calling out to him.
"Hey dad I'm home, where are you?"
"Kitchen," Ed replied as he started to washed up his now empty coffee mug trying and failing miserably to calm his jittery nerves, mumbling to himself "Okay Lane you can do this, time to man up."
Hearing Clark come into the kitchen Ed dried his hands and crossed the short space between them and pulled him into a tight bear hug, "Welcome home, everything okay?"
"Yeah dad, apart from the fact you're squeezing me to death," Clark replied giving his dad a pained expression.
"Sorry, missed ya that's all," Ed half laughed as he gave Clark a kiss on the forehead and pulled back., "Um … you have a good time, everyone turn up, no one got into any trouble?"
"Yes dad I have a good time, yes everyone turned up and no no one got into any trouble."
Clark eyed Ed warily, suspension and fear slowly raising hand in hand. Even in the limited time he had been home, he could tell his dad was on edge, his body language was tight and guarded, it was obvious something was serious wrong, but it didn't look like he had been injured at work and he didn't look sick, or was he.
Nervously Clark asked the question, "Dad what's … what's going on ... oh no are you ill?"
Ed momentarily looked up surprised and a little taken aback at Clark's question and then felt a prang of guilt at the look of fear starting to show on his son's face, "No, no I'm not sick, why would you think that?"
"Because you have the same look on your face when you told me mom had died," Clark replied his voice quivering with emotion.
Eddie mentally kicked himself, how could he have been so stupid not to realise that Clark would see straight through him, especially nowadays after everything that they as father and son had been through together, Ed now hide nothing from him good or bad and Clark fully reciprocated.
"Honestly I'm fine, everything is fine but I do need to talk to you about something and I'm not making a good job of it," Ed pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and sat down gesturing for Clark to do the same.
Waiting a few minutes before he went to speak, Ed tried to form the right words but whatever ran though his head sounded like some sort of excuse and really lame … come on stop beating around the bush just tell him straight, it's a bit like pulling off a band aid just rip if off in one fail swoop, and before he realised it the words were out his mouth, "I'm seeing someone …. I'm seeing Sam," there that was it, it was done no going back now. Ed placed his head in his hand and groaned, subtle Lane real subtle.
Clark stared at his dad not sure he'd heard him right, worrying his bottom lip he closed his eyes, trying to hide the fact that his emotions were in turmoil.
He was happy that his dad had found someone too possibly share his life with, he didn't want him to always be on his own especially when he wasn't the easiest person to get on with and his job was a whole other bone of contention, Clark had seen the toll it had taken on his parents but they had made it work, they'd been together a long time, but it hadn't always been plain sailing and Clark wondered if this new person would be strong enough to do the same, to stand up to him when they needed to but also to help him over come his demons that although rose out of the darkness a lot less frequently of late, but they still did and probably always would.
But along with the spark of happiness Clark was warring with the fact that he also felt angry and resentful that his dad was moving on already, it had only been 18 months since his mom had passed and here he was with someone new like his mom was no longer important to him or he had stopped caring about her, that that part of his life had never existed now, Clark opened his eyes and looked at his hands resting on the top of the table, and in a voice so quiet that Ed nearly missed it he asked, "What about mom?"
Ed looked up sharply, alarm and confusion written all over his face, "what do you mean, what about mom?" he asked with trepidation, but as the silence lengthened Ed got up off his chair and went and crouched in front of Clark, placing his finger under his chin and raised his head, his voice hushed, Ed asked again, "Hey, Clark talk to me, what do you mean what about mom, help me understand."