My mouth feels like cotton and tastes worse. For a moment as I slowly drift into consciousness, I think I am back at home and I mentally list off all the chores I need to get done before Shou wakes up. Two steady beeps confuse me as I continue to wake up to a sterile room. I haven't even opened my eyes yet but somehow, I know everything is white, clean, bland, and expensive. The bed is too comfortable and there are tubes connected to my arm and in my nose. There is no way I will ever be able to afford any of this.
"I don't care what you say, she's my daughter now and that is my grandson." A feminine voice grouches. "You can sulk all you want. You lost a brother, that gives you every right to be depressed or angry and anything else you might be feeling. Remember that I lost a son, and that gives me every right to do what I need to do to cope."
"All I'm saying is that this girl married Rick after barely knowing him then she got pregnant and now he's dead. That doesn't seem the least bit suspicious to you?" A man says in a cold detached voice.
The woman scoffs. "Yes, I'm sure she planned on the train crashing while she was on it about to have a baby."
There is an exasperated sigh to my side and another man speaks. "Enough bickering. The stress will affect Tina and the baby."
Tina?
I open my eyes slowly to find a tall gorgeous blonde woman leaning against a chair in which a blond man sits. They are both staring at a man with cold eyes glaring down at me from the foot of the hospital bed.
"Ri…ck!" I croak but my brain quickly recognizes that this man is not the kind stranger from the train.
He's too calm to be Tina's 'epitome of impulsive' I know from one look that this man lacks the ability to let loose and have fun.
The woman begins to cry startling me into breaking eye contact with the angry man. "Oh, my poor girl." Before I know what's happening, I am being smothered against her chest. "I'm so sorry to have to tell you this. My precious girl, Rick didn't make it."
"What?" Unconsciously my hands clutch at my belly to find my baby and protect it from these strangers. "What!" I've shrunk. "Where's my baby!" Please no. Please don't say that it didn't make it either.
"Calm down sweetheart. He's right here." The blond man calls my attention to himself and I look over to see him walking over to a small bed I hadn't noticed before. "Sshh," the man soothes dipping his hands into the cradle and lifting a small bundle out.
"I'm Kuu, Rick's father." He explains bringing my baby over to me. "And this is your son."
I take my baby in my arms unable to hold back the tears. I don't care how difficult it will be, I can't give him up. The world is too cruel for me to hand him over to chance. Holding him in front of myself I inspect him. He has a pudgy round face and a tuft of black hair, ten perfect fingers and ten cute little toes. The tag around his ankle alerts me to their mistake.
"Hizuri, no…no you gave me the wrong one…" I'm so confused. Why is Rick's family in my room handing me Tina's baby? "Tina…" It hurts to breath. What's going on? Did my baby not make it? Did Tina die too? Are they asking me to nurse their grandson for them? That's too weird. Morbid even and downright wrong.
"Yes Tina-chan, what is it?" The woman who I assume is Rick's mother asks.
"What? No, I'm not…" I flail my arms gesturing to myself and my wristband catches my eye. I turn it to read the name written on it. Hizuri Tina. "Oh god. She died too, and you think that I'm…oh god, I'm so sorry. Your son died and now this."
"Tina-chan calm down please. You're not making any sense. Kuu get the nurse." The woman says as she reaches for my baby.
I pull my baby closer to my chest. He's mine I know it and I won't hand him over to these strangers.
"Maybe we should leave her alone to bond with her son." The cold man at the foot of the bed says. His cold eyes scan over my face before he takes his mother's arm.
"But…"
"Come on mother, I'll buy you lunch. Father." He motions for his dad to go out the door first, as if he were the parent. "I'll send in the nurse to check on you, Tina-san." He says locking his eyes on mine. I shiver at the intensity of those eyes.
True to his word a nurse comes in to check on me. She explains that the other woman in the room with me was dead when they found her. I was already in the hospital by then giving birth to my son. I cry for Tina, the friend I never got to know. I cry so much that the nurse has to take my baby from me.
"Shh, sweet girl. Losing your husband and a friend at the same time. I'm so sorry." The nurse pats my head soothingly and I do start to feel calm. My eyes begin to droop as I see her dispose of a needle. She must have put something in my IV because I am overwhelmed by the need to sleep.
The second time I wake up I am alone with my baby. He's sleeping soundly and I am just as confused as the first time I woke up. It takes me a moment to remember where I am and that there has been a horrible mix up about who I am.
"You're awake, mama?" An older woman dressed in scrubs asks entering my room. "Just in time for his feeding. If you feel up for it."
Her gentle hands lift up my baby and expertly she cradles him close as she brings him over to me. I'm afraid yet eager to hold him. She places him in my arms and instructs me on how to properly feed him.
"I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes. Then there is somebody else here waiting to see you." I nod not wanting to think about how I'm going to explain to Rick's family that I am not Tina.
I look down at the small baby in my arms and smile. It doesn't matter who is waiting to see me because nothing matters more to me than my son. It's as if the rest of the world melted away and all that was left was me and him and I will never let anyone take him away from me. He will never be lonely or know what it feels like to be unloved. I refuse to let him grow up as miserable as I did.
As he ate, I examined the ring still adorning my finger. I should have known better than to try on someone else's ring. Though it is pretty laughable that anyone could mistake me for a gorgeous and sweet woman with a refined air like Tina. Mogami Kyouko could never attract someone as handsome and charming as Rick. Mogami Kyouko would have been lucky to receive a ring from a vending machine, while Hizuri Tina probably only ever expected an expensive diamond for her slim ring finger. I need to give back the ring and apologize to the family that is no doubt waiting in the hall. Rick's brother was probably not as heartless as he seemed. His heart would be broken twice over when I tell him that both his sister-in-law and her baby had died on the train with his older brother.
Or I could be Tina. The thought hits me with a ton of shame. Doesn't my son deserve this though? Doesn't he deserve a loving uncle and doting grandparents. Hizuri could be his name and he would never have to carry the burden of being my son with Shoutaro. He could be Rick's son and I could raise him quietly. I would never ask for anything for myself but for him…
A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts and a melodic voice asks if she can enter. The nurse peaks in and I nod covering myself before she allows the woman entrance. I instantly backtrack on my decision to pretend to be Tina. How could I lie to this kind woman? She had just lost a son and her other one doesn't particularly seem like good one. Then again maybe that's more reason to let her have a grandson.
"May I?" She asks gesturing to my baby and I relinquish him without a word.
I want to speak up by my throat goes dry at the sight of her cradling him to her chest and rubbing his back. My baby deserves a grandmother who holds him close. Seana would probably have shoved him out of my arms and called me a failure for having him so young. She would tell him he is stupid then force me to abandon him somewhere.
"Don't cry sweetheart we'll get through this tragedy together." She says and I wipe the tears from my face. I hadn't realized I was crying. "Kuon, why don't you come see the baby?"
Rick's brother enters the room throwing me a brief glance before looking down at my baby. "He looks nothing like Rick. I suppose it's a blessing he doesn't have Rick's nose." He says with all the emotion of a potato.
"Kuon please." His mother pleads glaring at her son.
"Just saying, it's a good thing the child looks like his mother." Cold green eyes look directly into mine and I feel like I'm being accused of something, though I don't know what. Could he know I'm a fraud? "Tina is a very nice name for someone who looks so," he paused, and I could feel his eyes traveling down my body. "Japanese."
"My parents were American." I say in perfect English and he smirks at me. No wonder Rick had nothing to do with him for nearly six years. Pompous ass. I gasp and blush at my own thought. He smiles at me, but his eyes are cold and uncaring.
"You know the more I look at you, the more I'm convinced that you're not my brother's type."
I know I'm not much to look at, but he doesn't have to point it out. What a rude, inconsiderate jerk.
"You just thought that I'm a rude inconsiderate jerk." He says with a bright smile. "And you're probably right. We can't all be recklessly nice. One of us has to run the family business and keep gold diggers away from our money."
I flinch at the accusation in his voice.
"I don't want your money." I say offended that he would even think that.
"Of course, you don't." His mother says. "None of us thinks you're a gold digger. Kuon just lacks manners. Don't judge my ability as a mother by the way he acts."
"Forgive me, I'm being rude and unfriendly." Kuon says, "I am Kuon, Rick's younger brother. This is our mother Julie. And you are…?"
I pause for a moment and my baby spits up on Julie. She doesn't flinch or curse but smiles as she wipes his little face with her sleeve.
"Tina." I say deciding my son's fate.
"There now I've met her. If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work." He says turning to leave.
"Kuon!" His father barks in a tone that causes the grown man to stiffen and turn around to face the older man who has just walked into the room.
"Yes, father. Sorry." The younger man says and there is a meek boyishness to him as he addresses his father.
"Forgive him, please Tina. He's hurting and blaming himself for the loss of his brother." The father says and for a moment I forget that I am supposed to be Tina.
I have to tell them the truth. Julie is making noises and kissing my baby. Her and her husband look overjoyed as they coddle the tiny bundle in her arms. Maybe if I feign amnesia, they'll be more forgiving later when they inevitably figure out that I am a filthy liar. Though I wonder if they have brain scans for something like that. I should tell them right now. Just say my name is Kyouko. I'll explain everything. They seem forgiving and kind enough that they wouldn't punish me too harshly.
My mouth doesn't move and though I am disappointed with myself I start to formulate excuses and lies to further convince these people that I am Tina. First, I need to find out what they already know about her. I know they've never met her before and now I know they must not have ever even seen a picture. I'm screwed if somehow a photo of her survived in their luggage. According to the brother I'm not Rick's type at all so it might only be a matter of time until they link the pretty blonde woman to Tina instead of me.
I've created such a mess without even trying.
"Is something wrong Tina-chan?" Rick's father asks and the back of his hand touches my forehead. Like a real father checking on his daughter. I feel a stab in my heart at the knowledge that this is not mine. None of this was meant for me and I should not want it so selfishly.
"I'm just tired." I say, and it isn't a total lie.
"Of course, you are dear. There are still some papers for us to sign and arrangements to be made. Why don't you take a nap and when you wake up hopefully, mom and I will be ready to take you home." He says soothingly and I oblige, laying back with the words mom and home echoing in my dreams.
Before my eyes close completely I catch Rick's brother staring at me intently. The parents will be easy enough on me once my lies come out. The brother however will probably have me flogged through the streets.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews! This is meant to be more of a dark comedy and not very heavy on the angst. At least I hope I can write it like that. Rick is dead in canon so I felt nothing killing him and Tina is barely in canon at present so she was a sacrifice I was willing to make. I feel bad for their baby though.