The buzzing noise of the city overwhelmed Max as they walked towards their apartment. The winter chill hit his pale face as he gripped onto Georgia's hand. His breath hitched in his throat as they walked in their building. They walked up the stairs to their apartment as his chest tightened and the room began to fuzz at the edges. His stomach rolled with nausea as soon as Georgia unlocked the front door. He bolted to the bathroom.
He slid down the wall to his knees and leant forward over the porcelain bowl before he emptied the contents of his stomach. It was hard for Georgia to kneel behind him to rub his back but she managed. Her cool hand on his back relaxed him. When he finished, he leant back against the wall and tried to control his short choppy breaths.
"Your okay Max, it's okay." She soothed.
She stood up and went to get him a glass of water. She gave it to him and he took it with his shaking hand.
"How can I help Max?"
"I'm okay."
"No your not! Your going to bed and we can talk about it later once you have rested."
"Fine." He said not having the energy to argue.
Max stood up, gripping hold of the sink for support and staggered to his bed. As soon as he laid down under the blankets he fell asleep like an exhausted baby. Georgia walked out to the living room and got out her phone to dial the one person she knew she had to call. Sharpe.
"Georgia?"
"Hi Helen."
"Is everything alright?"
"Yes...well no...kinda."
"Umm...what's happened?"
"I think he had another panic attack, not as bad but still bad."
"What happened?"
"He was spacey all the way home but as soon as he got to the building his breathing went choppy and he couldn't walk in a straight line. Then as soon as we got in, he threw up."
"Oh god, where is he now?"
"Asleep."
"Good, do you want me to come over?"
"No, we'll be fine. Do you know what's caused them?"
"I think he's depressed and really struggling."
"Depressed?"
"Yeah, he already feels awful from the chemo and he is terrified of dying. Not meeting your baby. The light in his eyes that normally glistens as he smiles is gone, he tries to smile but you can see the pain behind it. He isn't eating, sleeping really."
"Oh my god, I never realised."
"It's okay, I've only just pieced it together after his first panic attack."
"It does make sense, he says that he's not hungry at night and just stabs at his food taking a few bites. He leaves before I even get up every morning at 7 and he goes to bed at 12. I think the other night I heard him crying but I wasn't completely sure so went back to sleep."
"Can I help out any way?"
"No, I'm gonna let him sleep then talk to him when he wakes up."
"Okay."
"Thank you Helen."
"It's okay, keep me updated and ring me if you need anything."
"Okay bye."
"Bye."
Georgia placed the phone down on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen. Soup. Soup and grilled cheese. Max's favourite. She began making that as she watched Max fidget in his sleep. Typical. He couldn't even stay still in his sleep.
About an hour later, Max staggered into the living room where Georgia was sat reading a book.
"Hey baby." Georgia smiled as she stood up and grabbed his arm to pull him down to the couch. "How are you feeling?"
"Sore and tired but okay."
"Okay, I have made soup and grilled cheese, do you want some?"
"No thanks, I'm not hungry."
"You need to eat baby, your loosing weight."
"I'm not hungry, I never am."
"How about just the grilled cheese then?"
"Okay."
Georgia stood up and went to get a small grilled cheese from the work surface. She placed it on a plate and grabbed a glass of orange juice from the fridge.
"Here you go."
"Thanks."
He half heartedly ate the grilled cheese, picking at it. He managed about half of it before he gave up and swigged the orange juice.
"Have you done?"
"Yeah."
"We need to talk Max."
"Is everything okay?"
"No."
"How can I help?"
"It's you Max. Your depressed but obviously will not admit it. I want to help you but I don't know how."
"I'm not depressed, I'm fine."
"Your not."
"I...I."
He burst into tears, sobs racked his chest. Georgia went and sat next to him, pulling his head into his chest and hugging him tightly.