So, this fic was supposed to be a one off, but I've been thinking about those two for awhile, where they'd end up, and here we are...I'm gonna say this is roughly a year later, into season 4 of BtVS/s1 Ats.

Clutching the brown paper bag close to her chest, paper rustling, she put the key into the lock of her apartment door. She swung it open to find the lights on, the TV off, and the bathroom door open, shower running. She walked into the kitchen, placing the bag on the counter.

"Kennie?" the British voice called from the bathroom.

"Got groceries."

Just as she placed her hand in the bag to pull out the contents, Spike emerged from the steamed bathroom, alabaster skin glistening, moonbeam bleached hair in wet ringlets, blue towel riding low on his narrow hips. "You get the Flamin' Hots?"

"Of course. And I even got some dipping sauce..." Slowly Kendra pulled a clear plastic container out filled with a red liquid.

"Kennie-"

"I thought maybe you could add hot sauce to it or crumble the hot Cheetos in it, or -"

"Kendra, I don't wanna drink that sludge. You know that."

Kendra slammed the container down. "I need you to try." She realized she was gripping the plastic container too tight - the sides were dented and the blood was flush against the lid. She let it go, but the dent remained. Trying to push it back to its original cylindrical form, the top popped off, splashing blood on her shirt, pants, and the counter. "Damn it!" she yelled, pulling at her clothes in frustration. Spike went to her, grabbing her by the arms. He kissed her temple.

"Come with me," he murmured.

Gently he guided her to the bathroom. With care he removed her top, avoiding getting of the viscous fluid on her face. He did, however, get some on the single French braid that adorned her head, causing him to curse under his breath. He untied the drawstring on her bohemian pants, letting them fall to the floor. Eyes locked on hers, he slowly pulled her panties down. "You know, damndest thing. I do have a taste for something..."

As he expertly explored and teased her, Kendra gripped his shoulders and threw her head back. He made it so easy to just...lose herself in him. She gripped the sink behind her, eyes fluttering close. In her lustful haze, she heard the shower come on. Just as she was about to shudder to completion, he stopped. She looked at him and saw raw desire in his eyes.

He picked her up, hooking her legs around him, and stepped into the tub. Underneath her she felt his hardness, the blue towel long discarded. She pulled the curtain closed just as he pushed her up against the back wall. She tightened her arms around him as he thrust up into her, making her gasp. The water pelted her arms and his back as he rhythmically pumped into her, rolling his hips just so. Her eyes rolled back as he hit her in just the right way. She moaned, then dipped her head, playfully biting his neck. He growled, speeding up, the sound of skin colliding against the backdrop of pattering water. She watched him as he pulled down the cups of her lacy bra, freeing her breasts. He engulfed her nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his teeth, just how she liked it. She arched against him, coming violently. As she came down, clenching around him, she watched him watch her from hooded lids.

"Love you," whispered. He only had a few more pumps left before he tumbled over the edge with her.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Though they were sitting side by side on the couch, his arm casually draped around her shoulders, Spike felt a chasm between them. She had yet to say those three words.

'Of course she hasn't. Two bloody months, and you were done for. But her...'

And he knew why.

She was holding back. Fear. Self preservation. Doubt. Loving him was a gamble, a risk she didn't know how to take. What if he became the monster she'd have to kill? What if he still was?

"I've been trying," he blurted out over the Mentos commercial.

"What?"

"I've been trying, you know? To be...better. It's bee a process. And I'm doing it for you."

She grabbed the remote and hit mute, turning to look at him. "What have you tried?"

Spike swallowed, his mouth oddly dry. He sat up, removing his arm to face her. "Um, well, even though you haven't asked. I've made some changes. It started with... Since we've been together, I haven't killed anyone." He hesitated on her unbelieving stare. "Well, anyone innocent. Murderers. Rapists. I um, I stopped one child abductor, I did. He had a kid in the back of his van. Kid thought I was Batman or something. It was nice, actually." He paused, watching her reaction. She just looked at him, silent. "And when that wasn't enough, when I couldn't find evil doers, if I did bite someone, I didn't drain them. More of a tasting here, a tasting there until I was full. I know what you're trying to do with that sludge from the butcher. I get it, I do. Just...give me some time, yeah? I'm doing what I can, helping people. And I don't - "

He grabbed her hand, holding it tightly, relieved when she squeezed it.

"I don't want to lose you," he admitted quietly. "I don't want to lose this. I'm...I'm happy. Are you?" Spike felt tears pinprick his eyes. They fell once her soft hand cupped his sculpted cheek.

"Spike...I do love you. I've loved you for a long time, despite me self." He pulled her to him, kissing her tenderly, pouring his love into it. He rested his forehead on hers, eyes closed in contentment. "Just please... Please don't make me regret it."

Spike cupped her face, gently rubbed her cheeks. "On my unlife, I swear I won't. You're everything to me."

"I don't need to be everything," she said softly with a smile.

"But you are, all the same. It wasn't expected. Wasn't planned. But my heart is all in. I'm yours, Kennie."

She smiled at him. And Spike felt as if it more brilliant than the brightest light of the sun. They'd work it out. They'd be okay.

They would.