She was dying. The knife, its handle black and intricate and protruding from her stomach, no longer hurt but she knew that meant the end was near, her body going numb. Who had stabbed her? She couldn't remember.
"Inuyasha, you made it in time," a voice (that didn't belong to her) said. She felt a wave of peace wash through her, warming her dying body. "I'm glad...I get...I get to at least say...goodbye."
A face twisted with grief hovered over her. His silver hair fell around her, his ears laid almost flat on top of his head. "Misaki, you can't...This can't be fucking real. I'm not ready to say goodbye."
Her heart clenched and her hands twitched, longing to reach out and soothe away the lines of stress marrying Inuyasha's face. (What is this? Why am I seeing Inuyasha? She tried to tell him that wasn't her name or her voice. She was fine, really. They were going to go to dinner tonight and talk and get to know each other. Why was he saying goodbye? Oh, right...the knife.)
"Fate is indeed cruel sometimes. I will find you again, my love. I-" (No! That isn't me. Stop.)
"No!" His cry echoed her thoughts. Tears streamed down his cheeks and landed on her face. "This can't happen again. I can't lose you again."
"Goodbye, Inuyasha. I love you," the voice that wasn't hers said.
Kagome pushed frantically at her blankets, trying to escape the confines of her bed. She made a mad dash to her bathroom, her stomach heaving in protest. She wasn't sure how she made it in time to avoid the mess but she was grateful she wouldn't have to clean up puke at whatever unholy hour of the night she'd awakened.
She pulled herself up to her sink to rinse her mouth and splash a few handfuls of cold water on her face. She caught sight of her reflection and gasped. Her face was pale and gleamed with sweat. Her hair was a tangled mess and stuck to her damp skin on her forehead and cheeks. Reaching up to brush back the dark strands, she noticed her hands were shaking.
What the hell was that dream?
Inuyasha's face, grief-stricken and tear-stained, flashed in her mind. It had all felt so real; it was like she was a passenger in that woman's dying body. She'd felt the longing and the grief as she stared up into Inuyasha's frightened face. Her stomach twisted as she thought of the pain he must have been in watching a woman he loved die in his arms. Then she realized how silly that was. Did she really think her dream was some vision of something that had actually happened?
Yet it had felt so real. The pattern on the knife handle was too detailed, the smell of blood too pervasive, and the emotions much too intense. She'd felt her heart clench at the sound of his broken voice and her own mind had cried out to her body to touch and comfort him. And the love...Oh, how she had felt the love they must have shared.
"Get it together, Higurashi. It was just a stupid dream." She did her best to banish the lingering feelings so she could concentrate on tonight.
Remembering her upcoming date, she immediately perked up. Was she overstepping some boundary going out with Inuyasha? Under normal circumstances, absolutely. But, after a few weeks to cool off post-break-up, she and Koga had talked and he'd given her the ok to contact Inuyasha. Hindsight was 20/20 and they both agreed that their relationship was never that great to begin with and they just weren't a good match. Kagome had actually been happy when Ayame approached her about dating Koga; those two were perfect for each other.
All of that left her free to explore the intense pull she was feeling towards Koga's friend. As soon as she'd heard his voice that first night she knew, she had to meet him. Then, when she saw him the first time at the bottom of her steps, she knew she had to get to know him better. He was a sculpted vision in his tight t-shirt and jeans, silver hair flowing behind him, and those two adorable dog ears twitching on top of his head.
Her reflection blushed as she thought about her rambling attempt to ask him out for coffee. God, it was so embarrassing. But the smooth way he'd set those boxes down and suggested dinner had sent a tingling sensation shooting through her. She couldn't wait for tonight.
Her phone rang and she rushed to the bedroom to grab it off her nightstand then glared at the screen. Why was her best friend calling her so damn early in the morning? Sango should know better. She took a deep breath to finish steadying her nerves and answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, I didn't wake you up, did I?" Sango asked, sounding much too peppy for 8 in the morning. Nobody should be that peppy at 8 in the morning.
"Nope. What's up?" Kagome asked.
"Oh good. I know you're just a ball of sunshine and rainbows when you first roll out of bed."
Kagome rolled her eyes. "I don't remember ordering sarcasm for breakfast. Are you going to tell me why you're bothering me this early or can I hang up on you now?"
Sango laughed. "What time do you want me to come over?"
"Um...why are you coming over?"
"To help your ass get ready for your big date! Miroku is friends with Inuyasha so I've seen how hot he is. You need to be prepared."
Kagome groaned and flopped onto her bed. "I am not making a big deal out of this. It's just dinner."
"No, it is not!" Sango insisted. "You wasted six months of your life with Koga; you've got lost time to make up for. So what time? Give me an answer or I'm coming over now."
She would most certainly make good on her threat so Kagome gave her an answer. "No earlier than noon, psycho. He's not even picking me up until 6."
"Great! See you then." Sango hung up before she could reply.
Cursing her decision to tell her best friend about Inuyasha, Kagome got up and dragged herself to the bathroom to start getting ready for her day.
"I'm telling you, that dress is perfect."
"And I'm telling you it's too much." Kagome crossed her arms over her much-too-exposed chest. When had she even bought a bodycon dress? And with a barely-there neckline? It was clingy and uncomfortable and made her feel nearly naked. She hated it. "It's only a first date."
"Which will be followed by a second and third date, then probably-hopefully mind-blowing- sex, maybe moving in together, getting married, and having babies. This night is important." Sango got up off the bed and grabbed her shoulder, twirling her in a circle. "You look amazing in this, K. A-maze-ing."
Kagome's phone alarm went off to let her know she had 30 minutes until Inuyasha arrived. She was a nervous wreck and Sango wasn't helping. "I'm not wearing this. I want to be comfortable." She pushed past her friend and went to her closet to pick out a more modest dress. She pulled out a maroon A-line dress with short off-the-shoulder sleeves and a neckline just above the swell of her breasts. It was shorter in the front, ending just above her knees while the back hung just past her knees.
"Boring," Sango said. "But a good color at least. You can't go wrong with red."
"We're going to a nice restaurant, not a nightclub. This will be fine." She changed quickly and was satisfied with her choice. She was comfortable, she looked good, and she had the perfect pair of black wedges to wear with it. Taking one last spin in front of the mirror, Kagome gave herself a thumbs up. Sango made a disappointed noise but didn't try to argue.
The ding of Kagome's phone made her jump, her heart leaping into her throat. That was probably him. When she just stood there instead of checking the message, Sango grabbed her phone and thrust it at her. "C'mon. Don't keep the guy waiting. He's much too hot for that." She waggled her hand around until Kagome finally took the hint and snatched her phone.
"Alright already. I never should have told you about this date," she grumbled as she finally worked up the courage to glance at the screen.
Be there in 5...figured I'd give you a heads up
Kagome breathed a small sigh of relief. She had another minute to gather her wits and put the finishing touches on her appearance. One more glance in the mirror confirmed that her hair and makeup were up to standard, her dress hugged her in all the right places and fell perfectly on her, and her eyes looked only slightly panicked. Great.
She skipped any kind of perfumes in consideration of his sensitive nose and opted to keep her jewelry to only a small silver pendant necklace, single silver bracelet, and matching silver ring set with a small ruby. The shoes she'd chosen were already by the door along with her small black clutch. She grabbed her shawl and draped it over her shoulders and was heading for the front door when she heard him knock.
"Points for getting out of his car," Sango said, reminding Kagome she was there. "Most guys just hit you with the 'outside' text and call it a day. You may have found a keeper."
Kagome shot a look over her shoulder and tried to shoo Sango away with her eyes. It came as no surprise that it didn't work. Shaking her head in resignation, she turned and opened the front door. And there he was, in all his tall, hot, charming glory. The sight took her breath away.
Everything he was wearing looked tailored to show off his god-like physique. The dark grey pants hugged his hips and legs just enough to let you know there was perfection underneath but not so much that it looked uncomfortable. His dark blue button-up looked painted-on, the buttons flirting with disaster if he were to so much as flex his muscles. He had his sleeves rolled to his elbows and why the hell did that turn her on so much? Nobody's forearms could be that sexy. And his hair? Up until that point, Kagome hated the ever-popular man-bun. But on him, with the way his ears framed the perfectly messy knot...Now she was imagining what it would be like to run her fingers through his hair until it came loose and fell all around him. Had he shown up in a full suit, she may have jumped him right there on her front steps, Sango standing there or not.
How was this man single?
The spell was broken when she noticed his subtle sniff followed shortly by a poorly-suppressed smirk. For a second, she couldn't figure out why he...Oh no. Oh-fucking-no. Maybe a dress wasn't the wisest clothing choice when your date could fucking smell when you were turned on. She wasn't going to make it through the night.
"So," Inuyasha said, leaning towards her and not hiding the deep breath he took. "You ready to get going?"
"Yep. J-just gotta throw my shoes on." Trying not to look at Sango, Kagome turned slightly to grab her wedges. She somehow managed to get both on without falling on her ass though it probably wasn't the most graceful display. Grabbing her purse off the hall table, she gave Sango one last look and wave before following Inuyasha out the door.
"Try to get her home before the sun comes up," Sango called. "Or not. Have fun and use protection." She closed the front door before Kagome could retaliate.
"Don't worry, Miroku already warned me she'd be here," Inuyasha said, placing a hand lightly on the small of her back to guide her down to the car. She almost swooned at the light caress of his fingers and the warmth of his palm radiating through her dress.
He opened her door and she climbed in and buckled her seatbelt, her door thumping shut. Waiting until he was settled behind the wheel, she said, "She's almost as bad as Miroku at this point. He's such a bad influence."
"You got that right," he said before starting the car and pulling away from the curb. "How long have you known those two? I'm surprised we've never crossed paths before."
"Sango I've known most of my life. I didn't meet Miroku until they started dating." She didn't mention that that was how she'd met Koga. She knew Inuyasha was breaking some friend code by dating her, even if Koga had pushed them together. There was no need to draw attention to it, especially on the first date. "They're kinda gross when they're together though so I try to avoid being the third wheel with them."
"I really wish I didn't know what you were talking about. I know far too much about their...personal life together." He made a small disgusted noise in the back of his throat and shook his head. "Did you know, Miroku can do this thing with his-"
"Oh god, don't you dare" She laughed and swatted his arm lightly, earning a chuckle from him. "I'm traumatized enough already, thank you."
"Sorry. That's probably not a conversation we want to have on the first date anyway. How about a more neutral topic: what kind of music do you like?"
"A little of everything, really," she said, thankful for the easy change. With his ears, her date could probably hear her heart trying to break through her ribs.
"Really? Cause everyone says that but nobody actually means it." Inuyasha on the other hand was the picture of calm. His posture was relaxed, his ears turned slightly towards her, his fingers drumming a quiet beat on the steering wheel.
"Well, I don't literally listen to every type of music ever, smartass. I just mean I listen to a lot of different stuff."
He shot her a sideways look when they stopped at an intersection. "Listening to pop and rap and knowing the name of one metal band is not a lot of different stuff.'"
She scoffed but caught the teasing tone of his voice. "Well, excuse me. Do you always insult a woman on the first date?"
"It's not an insult if it's the truth."
"Well what about you?" she asked then put a hand up. "No wait, let me guess. You like that screaming metal stuff and your favorite band is from Norway? Also, you sacrifice a goat every night in the hopes that Billie Eyelash will burst into flames so you never have to hear her music ever again?"
He laughed, the low sound coming straight from his chest. And oh look, another thing about him she found irresistible. "First, it's Eilish, not eyelash," he corrected. "And second, what's wrong with Norwegian metal bands?"
"Did I say there was something wrong with them? No. And I don't hear you denying the goat sacrificing thing."
"Because you gotta wait until at least the third date before we get goats involved." His smile could stop traffic...or her heart.
"Oh good, I have something to look forward to then." Just add it to the list: Kagome's list of weird shit she'll deal with as long as Inuyasha is involved. Not the snappiest title but hey, it involved him so she'd deal with it.
They fell into (normal, non-goat related) conversation easily as he drove and a few minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. There were only a few other cars in the lot since the Sunday dinner crowd tended to disperse a bit early. The little Italian place was a local favorite, though she'd never been there herself. As long as they had good bread to start and tiramisu for dessert, she could work with any food in between.
Inuyasha continued to be the perfect gentleman: holding doors, pulling out her chair, and not mentioning goats again. Never had she had a first date go this well; or a second; or third. Was it weird to start planning your wedding before dessert? She was just so drawn to him; to his fingers casually brushing against hers when they were walking; to the way his face lit up when he smiled at her dumb jokes; to his ears, always focused on her when her eyes wandered to the top of his head.
They talked about everything and nothing as they ate. Inuyasha worked at his half-brother's company. He lived in a nice apartment and drove a nice car. He was a cat person (and his glare was adorable when she'd laughed at that). His favorite color was green. He had an unhealthy love affair with instant ramen. He liked traveling to remote places so he could let loose and run like he had in the old days (the very old days).
In turn, Inuyasha now knew Kagome's lucky number was 8 (that earned her an odd look). She'd lost her father at a young age. Her brother and mother both had places nearby. Her parents moved here from Japan just before she was born so she got to learn both languages growing up. She was also a cat person (she couldn't wait for him to meet Buyo, her fat calico). And she liked to cook, one of her specialties being ramen (she'd half expected him to take a knee and propose right there).
And to top off their amazing dinner, the restaurant had some of the best tiramisu she'd ever eaten. Now the only question on her mind was: her place or his? Their night didn't need to end in a sweaty, naked tangle of limbs (though she wouldn't complain if it did) but either way, she wanted to spend more time with him.
Inuyasha, being the perfect man that he obviously was, answered her unspoken question. "So, you have anything planned for the rest of your night?"
She smiled coyly and took the bold route. "Only if it involves you." She gave herself a mental thumbs up for sounding more sexy than silly. Barely, but she figured it still counted.
He cocked a thick eyebrow at her, his lips twitching into a half-smile. "I think that can be arranged. I've got a comfortable couch and every streaming service under the sun if you don't mind seeing my place on the first date."
"I don't mind at all."
"Tonight then," a smiling Inuyasha said, cupping her cheek gently. His gold eyes shined brightly as he smiled at her. "The bond will take a lot out of us, especially you, but our souls will be bound. Nothing can take you away from me after that."
"I think I'm ready, Inu," a woman's voice responded and she moved close to Inuyasha to embrace him. Her heart swelled and her body warmed in his embrace. "I love you so much."
"I...I love you too, Abi."
(Who the hell is Abi?!)
Her vision swam and suddenly she was alone in a dimly lit room. Or, she thought she was alone.
"He was so close this time, wasn't he Kikyo?"
(Kagome) Abi whirled around and saw a man standing there, cloaked in shadow. He stepped partially into the light and she could see one eye, the pupil red as blood. Dark hair hung limply over his shoulder, devoid of luster. Something gleamed in his right hand, drawing her eyes downward. He raised the knife, the black handle held in a white-knuckled grip.
"Who are you and what do you want?" Abi's voice wavered slightly with her fear, her skin breaking out in gooseflesh. "And who is Kikyo because I am certainly not her?"
"You are Kikyo, or rather, your soul is Kikyo's. Your lack of physical resemblance is...disappointing as is the absence of her spiritual powers." He sneered as he looked her up and down, his leer making her sick to her stomach. "Looks like we'll have to try again. It's a shame the mutt won't get to say goodbye this time. I do so enjoy watching your parting." The man advanced towards her, cruel eyes locked on her face.
(Kagome) Abi stepped back and bumped into something solid, preventing her escape. He was on her in a second, pain flaring as the knife's blade disappeared into her, just below her ribs. All the air was pushed from her lungs as she tried to call out, to scream, to summon Inuyasha.
"I will never let you be with that filthy mongrel," the man's hateful voice growled in her ear as he lowered her to the floor. It was the last thing she heard as warm blood pooled around her, her life ending in terrible silence.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome heaved herself up, heart hammering, gasping for breath. She grabbed at her stomach, half-expecting to encounter the protruding knife handle. Her fingers curled into the fabric of her t-shirt and a small sob of relief escaped her.
Strong arms wrapped around her and Inuyasha's comforting voice spoke in her ear. "Kagome, hey, what's wrong? It's alright, I'm right here."
They were on a couch, his couch. His tv was on, glowing dimly with the 'are you still watching' message. Her head spun and she leaned into him as she tried to put her night together in her head. They'd gone on another perfect date, their third perfect date in a row that led them to another perfect night of Netflix and chilling on his couch. Then some of a movie she only vaguely remembered, chatting over said movie, bodies pressed together under a thin blanket.
Then kissing. Oh god, his lips moving against hers; his tongue tasting every inch of her mouth; his face nuzzling her neck while he kissed and nipped her skin; the sighs and gasps as they discovered each other. And his hands, so gentle, on her arms, her shoulders, her back, her sides. Then under her shirt, fingers running gently over her stomach then up, up over her breasts, massaging, kneading, teasing her taut nipples.
But he'd stopped, pulled back before they went too far because he knew she wanted to take her time with him. And she'd yawned and giggled and kissed him so sweetly. Then she'd fallen asleep nestled comfortably against his side.
"Hey, earth to Kagome. You with me?"
Yes, forever, always. She was in so deep already, the pull between them undeniable. Three weeks ago they'd gone on their first date. Three weeks of texting and talking on the phone late into the night and three of the best dates she had ever been on and she was absolutely hooked. "Yeah, sorry," she said, looking up at him. Intense amber eyes met hers and she couldn't help but smile. "I just…" her smile quickly faded as she remembered the dream. She couldn't stop herself from asking, "Who's Abi?" She hadn't even really meant to say it out loud. It was just another stupid dream...well, nightmare.
Inuyasha's body stiffened and his eyes grew wide. "How...how do you know that name?"
Damn her and her stupid mouth. "Um, I kinda...dreamed about her, I guess."
Inuyasha ran a visibly trembling hand through his hair and pulled away from her to sit on the edge of the couch. "Abi was someone I knew a long time ago. She...she died."
"How?" Kagome whispered before she could stop the word from escaping. She damn well knew how she died.
Inuyasha looked at her, expression grim. "She was murdered."
She had to confirm it, so she asked, "Was she...stabbed?" Kagome placed a hand just under her breasts, right where the pain had flared in the dream.
All the color drained from Inuyasha's face. "Fuck." He stood and started pacing. "Fuck, fuck fuck!"
So much for their string of perfect dates. Did she have some kind of vision from Inuyasha's past? A vision of a woman he loved dying? What a cruel thing to show her. Would he hate her now for bringing it up? How long had it been since Abi's murder?
Why the hell had she dreamed of it in the first place?
He continued to pace, shooting her unreadable looks every few seconds. She wasn't sure if she should say anything or just let him work through whatever he needed to. The man from the nightmare, with his blood-red pupils and cruel smile, came back to her. Did Inuyasha know who he was?
"Inuyasha," she said softly to draw his attention. "I...I think I saw who...I saw the man who..." Damn, this was difficult.
He ceased his pacing and sat back down next to her. Elbows resting on his knees, head buried in his hands, he asked, "Who did you see?"
"I saw the man who ki-killed her; who killed Abi."
"Not that it matters," he said, his voice wavering, "but, what did he look like?"
She described the man the best she could. It was difficult to focus on anything past his eyes but somehow she managed. When she was finished, Inuyasha looked confused. She was debating relaying the man's cruel words when he stood again.
"I need a minute."
Then he was gone, down the hallway to another part of the house. How had she fucked this up so badly? Everything was going so well then she'd gone and had a nightmare about his dead past lover. Then told him about it. He probably hated her now. She should just leave and spare him the awkwardness of kicking her out. Because surely he wouldn't want anything to do with her after this.
She searched for her phone to call Sango for a ride. It was buried between the couch cushions and she had to pry it loose. Her eyes stung with forming tears so she took a few deep breaths to calm her emotional upheaval. Sango was going to ask a lot of questions during the car ride home; she could save the crying for then.
Her heart ached as she waited for her best friend to pick up. It shouldn't hurt this much after only three dates. Breaking up with Koga had been so much easier than this and they'd been together for six months.
"Kagome, what's going on? Is everything alright?"
She jumped, not even realizing Sango had answered. "Hey, sorry, can you come get me?" Her voice didn't sound like it belonged to her and she was reminded of the dreams. It made her skin crawl. "I'm at Inuyasha's."
"Did he do something stupid? I'll kill him, Miroku's friend or not. Just send me the address and I'll be there."
"Leave the weapons at home, he didn't do anything. I just need to get out of here."
"Fine." Sango didn't sound convinced. "I'll be there soon."
"Thanks, Sango, I owe you one."
"Can I ask or should I wait until I pick you up?"
"Kagome." She looked up to find Inuyasha leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, expression softer than she would have expected. "We need to talk."
Damn those words. Into the phone, she said, "I'll send you the address but don't leave yet. I'll let you know, ok?" She didn't miss the disappointed look that passed over Inuyasha's face.
"Alright, but don't leave me hanging. I don't think Miroku would be friends with a murderer but…"
Kagome chuckled weakly and assured Sango she would keep her updated before hanging up. She tensed a little when Inuyasha approached and held a hand out to her.
"I want to show you something." When she hesitated to accept the offered hand he rolled his eyes and said, "Don't worry, there aren't any goats to sacrifice or anything like that."
He seemed to have calmed down some so she placed her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet. He didn't let go as he led her through a doorway that took them through the kitchen and out onto the enclosed back porch. String lights ran around the perimeter of the ceiling casting soft white light. There was a black rattan sofa with plush red cushions, two matching chairs, and a matching table in the middle of the porch. A mini-fridge hummed in one corner and two ceiling fans wooshed softly overhead. The top half of the walls were all mesh screens letting in a gentle breeze that carried with it the soft sound of crickets.
She loved it out here. His porch was nicer than her living room; hell, it was nicer than her whole apartment. She could see herself spending every night lounging on the little sofa, her head resting on Inuyasha's shoulder while he ran his fingers through her hair.
He pulled her over to the sofa and they sat down side-by-side, knees not quite touching. She noticed the wooden box resting on one of the chairs as he leaned forward to pick it up. It looked old and worn, the patterns carved into the surface smoother in places where hands would have held it frequently. Inuyasha pulled it onto his lap where it fit and balanced perfectly.
He took a deep breath and looked at her. "Sorry for how I reacted. I just needed a minute to think."
"S'ok," she said. "I was worried you were angry with me."
He shook his head. "I was shocked and a little...a little worried, that's all." He turned his attention back to the box, running his hand over the top. "I've never shown anyone what's in here. Hell, nobody even knows this box exists."
Scooting a little closer so that their legs touched, she quietly asked, "What's in it?"
Instead of answering, he opened the top of the box to let her see. The first thing she saw was an old hand mirror, the glass cracked but still whole. There was a brush, a pink ribbon, a small book that looked to be a journal, various folded papers, and several bits of old-fashioned jewelry. Her stomach clenched and for just a second she worried he actually was a murderer and these were trophies. But no, that was silly; she listened to far too many true crime podcasts.
More likely, the items were keepsakes. How old was Inuyasha? How many people had he lost over the years? How many Abi's existed in his past?
"I didn't want to say anything before we had the chance to get to know each other better but if you're having the dreams too then you deserve to know." He ran his fingers reverently over the items in the box.
She met his eyes, so full of sadness, hurt, and...love? "Deserve to know what?"
He cleared his throat and took a shaky breath. "That we're soulmates. And that this isn't the first or even the second time we've met."
Her heart sped up and something deep in her soul cried out. She knew it was true before he'd finished his sentence. And yet she still asked, "How do you know that we're soulmates?"
He reached up and cupped her cheek, letting his thumb brush softly across her bottom lip. "I get these...these dreams when our souls are ready to meet so I know when to start looking." He sighed and dropped his hand to take hers, their fingers intertwining. "I should have known the first time we talked on the phone. There's always an instant connection, like some force pushing us together. Our souls want us to meet, want us to get to know each other and fall in love."
"If we're soulmates, shouldn't we fall instantly and madly in love?" She smiled weakly. Three dates wasn't instant but it was pretty close.
Eyebrows raised, he shook his head. "Nah, gotta do that the old-fashioned way. Being soulmates just streamlines the process." He let go of her hand to close the box so he could set it on the table. "There are other things that call out to me. Your scent made me lightheaded the first time I caught it. Your voice was like music to my ears."
"That sounds super corny. Keep talking, I like it."
He laughed and nudged her with his shoulder. "I'm trying to hold a serious conversation here."
She nudged him back then laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm not stopping you. I told you to keep talking. Do I...do I look like any of my...er, previous selves?"
"You...you look like Kikyo. She was the first to-" He cut off abruptly and turned his head away.
"To what?" Kikyo was the name the man in the dream called her. The one whose appearance he wanted Abi to have.
"To die," he said, his eyes dropping to his lap. "She was the first one I lost. I've never...fuck Kagome, nobody makes it past a year once I start dreaming." His voice, thick with emotion, cracked as he spoke.
Her head swam at his sudden confession. "How many times?" she asked, not sure she wanted to know but not knowing where else to start. She couldn't turn away from him, didn't want to, but she had to know how many times he'd had this conversation with other women in the past. How many times had her soul found him? How many times did he watch his soulmate die?
He didn't look like he wanted to answer. He hesitated, his ears drooping as he seemed to debate with himself. "Seven times," he whispered. "This will be the eighth time we...we've met."
Her lucky number eight, huh? She stood abruptly, needing space. She expected three, maybe four other encounters. But seven? Why did he even keep putting himself through that? Was he only here because he wanted to recapture something he'd lost? Was she a consolation prize? A vague copy of some perfect love he'd lost possibly hundreds of years ago?
And what had he said? They all died in under a year?
"I have to go," she said and started to move away from him. She pulled her phone back out and sent Sango the message to let her know it was time.
"Kagome, wait!" he called from behind her. "I'm sorry, I just-"
She turned and held her hands up, doing her best to ignore the stricken look in his eyes. "Give me some time, please. I'll...I'll call you, alright?" Before she could change her mind and before he could respond, she whirled back around and hurried through the house.
Every step away from him was harder than the last but somehow she kept moving. Her reiki, usually calm and tucked away, sparked around her in pink arcs of power. Tears were streaming down her face by the time she'd made it to the sidewalk and she was near hysterics when Sango pulled up. Her body, her mind, her very soul was screaming at her to go back, be with him, hold him. God, she really was in love with him already. Why did this have to hurt so much?
She couldn't go back though, at least not right now. Possibly not ever.