The next morning Brienne wakes up in Jaime's arms. After the night in godswood, it feels impossible to be warm again.
Brienne turns to face him and she is met with a pair of green eyes, which are looking at her with the softest expression she could never quite figure out before.
"Good morning, wife," Jaime smiles at her.
"Good morning, husband," she replies. The word still feels strange on her tongue. Husband. And only then it strikes her for the first time that they are really wed.
They said their vows under the red leaves of weirwood tree. In chilling air among dancing snowflakes. A fairy tale.
"It's time to get up. There are duties-"
Jaime snorts hearing that.
"If you are so diligent then you need to take care of your husband first, and let him finally perform his marital duties."
Formally their marriage is still not consummated. After returning to their chamber, they were too exhausted to do anything but reach the bed and fall asleep.
"I really need to go," Brienne exhales as she lets him kiss her neck. Leaving the bed is the last thing she wants to do but neglecting her responsibilities isn't something she looks forward to.
"Stop thinking. This one time Sansa can wait a bit for you," Jaime says as his lips travel down through her collarbone toward her breast. His hand that somehow sneaked down between her legs finds her already hot and wanting.
"Jaime…" she sighs when his fingers start stroking her.
"Did you say something, my love?"
The smug smile on his face quickly disappears under her passionate kisses.
-/*/-
Soon Brienne finds herself beside Sansa. Since the battle, her lady became more reserved and reticent. She is grieving for the two closest people she recently lost but for some reason, today this coldness unnerves Brienne more than usual.
Brienne takes a deep breath. She and Jaime decided it would be fair to inform Lady of Winterfell about their marriage. In fact, it was Brienne who insisted on it, and Jaime, despite his reluctance and distrust of a young Stark, relented after a while.
"Brienne, good that you're here," Sansa says. "There is one important matter to discuss."
-/*/-
Brienne doesn't believe her ears when she learns what Sansa has to say. But the serious expression on her lady's face is more than enough to convince anyone that she means every word.
"You cannot imprison him," Brienne finally finds her voice after the first shock subsides. "Ser Jaime is not your enemy."
"He's a Lannister," Sansa says as this fact alone is enough to prove anyone guilty of anything.
As am I, the thought crosses Brienne's mind but she keeps herself from voicing it.
"Ser Jaime abandoned Kings Landing and came here to aid our cause. Now he chose to remain here instead of returning back."
"What a great aid it was. One man with one hand," a distaste is clear in Sansa's voice. "A great aid indeed…"
"It only proves that he's a man of honour."
Sansa ignores this comment. She leans back in her chair, clearly immersed in her thoughts, as Brienne waits for the next orders or dismissal.
"Great aid…" Sansa whispers again and a strange fear slowly rises in Brienne's heart.
She doesn't like the direction of this conversation.
"Why did he remain here, Brienne?" Sansa asks after a while. "Why?"
I came here for you, Jaime said one night but Brienne won't tell this Sansa. This is only between her and Jaime.
"I told you before, my lady. I know ser Jaime and I vouch for his honour. I'm certain of his good intentions. He has no ill will toward you and your house and I believe it would be unreasonable to use such drastic measures towards him."
"And you want me to believe that all those words are not affected by your association with ser Jaime?"
"These are the same words I was saying before anything of it happened. I trust ser Jaime with my life and if you value my service and trust me, you shouldn't have doubts about him."
Sansa gives her an appraising look.
"Alright," she says after a moment of silence. "You are dismissed for today. And for ser Jaime… He can stay here as he was. I believe you and I won't take any measures regarding his stay."
For now, the implication lingers heavily in the air.
-/*/-
Brienne doesn't say anything about this conversation to Jaime. She doesn't want to upset him.
However, sometimes it seems to her that he sees the new tension between her and lady Sansa but he never says anything of it.
-/*/-
Days pass. Winterfell is gradually getting rebuilt.
The news from the South doesn't come.
Bran is silent as well.
-/*/-
Jaime and Brienne continue to live together.
They are married after all, yet they don't share this information with anyone.
"It's not safe for you to be a Lannister in a bloody North," Jaime insists every time the question of the announcement is raised.
"Is it safer to be viewed as a Kingslayer's whore then?"
Jaime sighs.
"They would have considered you one regardless of it being true or not," he says without looking at her.
He has a right of it, Brienne steals a quick glance towards Oathkeeper.
"And Kingslayer's wife has even less honour here," Jaime adds with a sullen expression.
"Why would you care for their opinion?"
"I do not in the slightest. Fuck them. It's your safety I'm concerned about."
"I can take care of myself."
"I know," Jaime comes to her from behind and kisses her neck. It's not fair, he knows how strongly his lips can affect her.
"We don't need to keep it secret. I'm not ashamed of being your wife," Brienne breathes, trying to escape his ministrations that are making her hot and needy for him. "Or are you?"
"To have a glorious knight as a wife? No. This is the happiness I do not deserve."
He kisses her again and soon all Brienne can think of is the pleasure of being united with him.
-/*/-
They do not have this conversation again.
They do not tell anyone about the night in a godswood.
-/*/-
More days pass.
The Winterfell almost looks as before the battle. However, with every brick put back into the walls, the tension in the air raises.
Jaime is uneasy about the situation in the South, Brienne can tell. She sees him less during the day. It's alright if he needs space.
They meet in the evening in their chamber.
They make love as always.
But Brienne doesn't ask anything when Jaime turns away from her as they fall asleep.
-/*/-
Sansa is worried. Brienne sees that even though her lady was distancing herself recently from her sworn knight.
Over two months have passed since the latest news.
Something must have happened, everyone feels that.
Yet silence is everything they have.
-/*/-
"They've been watching me," Jaime says one evening. "Someone's always following me everywhere. Like I've grown a bloody tail."
He doesn't look at her, facing the burning fire.
"I'm sorry, Jaime," she replies not knowing any better words to offer him.
"Throwing me to the dungeon would have spared lady Sansa any trouble concerning my location."
Brienne sighs at that.
"She wanted to."
"Yet, my noble wife came to my defence again."
"I only spoke the truth."
"Next time tell her that I'm not a valuable prisoner anyway. They won't take me back."
Brienne doesn't respond. This is the first night she falls asleep alone.
-/*/-
Jaime is not there the next morning.
Eventually, Brienne finds him in godswood with Bran.
She does not interrupt whatever conversation they have.
She leaves without being noticed.
-/*/-
Something strange is happening.
Jaime is still with her. He's his usual self except for the time he's in a brooding and self-depreciating mood but Brienne can sense something shifted inside him.
There is something in his eyes she cannot explain.
And lately, more and more often, Brienne wakes at night in an empty bed.
She doesn't go to look after him.
Jaime mentions nothing of this and Brienne doesn't ask.
-/*/-
One morning a general commotion wakes them. Lord Bran is nowhere to be found. As several of the northern men. The search is sent out immediately but the men return with nothing.
"Ah, lady Stark. If a boy without his legs could run from your grasp, then what are the chances for a handless man?" Jaime smirks toward their host only to be met with a deadly glare.
He knows something. Brienne cannot tell why she thinks that but is more than certain there is something he's hiding from her.
-/*/-
The news hit them like lightning. The battle for King's Landing was lost. There was not even a battle. A carnage.
Cersei Lannister demands they surrender and bow the knee to the rightful Queen of Seven Kingdoms.
Or die like traitors if they refuse.
-/*/-
Golden Company is coming. And they are closer than anyone has thought.
Several days of march at best.
-/*/-
The war council is a gloomy affair.
Everyone knows they stand no chances against twenty thousand experienced men.
Their main forces went with Jon, leaving Winterfell with a small garrison of elders and children.
Even if they could hold the walls, barely rebuilt after the battle, they won't survive the siege.
Their supplies are running low right now, they won't be able to feed people for a long time.
The best option would be to escape but nowhere is safe.
And there is no hope for anyone coming with aid.
They're on the losing side.
Everyone knows that. Yet...
"We will fight till the last breath. I won't surrender to Cersei Lannister," Sansa declares.
No one voices a disagreement. But Brienne sees the silent fear that resides in people's eyes.
-/*/-
They try to prepare the best they can.
A few days later the infamous Golden Company arrives.
-/*/-
They do not attack.
From the walls, the defenders see that the enemy is not in a rush to get to the castle.
So it's starvation then, Brienne thinks, wishing for a sword.
-/*/-
In the following days, there are several attacks on the castle but it is clear it is more like a warm-up before the real attack begins.
-/*/-
From the day the army arrived Jaime has been more distant than ever.
Does he regret being here? Does he regret not going back when he still had a chance? Does he regret marrying me?
Those thoughts occupy Brienne's mind constantly but she fears confronting Jaime on that. She's afraid of his answer.
-/*/-
The food in the castle is running low. Their warehouses are empty and all the routes from the castle are closed.
The rations are thrice smaller than they were and the number of meals decreases to one per day.
The served grey bland porridge becomes more and more watery with every passing day.
-/*/-
Something is different tonight when Brienne returns to their chambers after her watch.
Jaime hasn't been so needy of her lately. They would fuck until they find release and fall asleep afterwards. It's not like their passionate lovemaking from the time they got married.
It's so different tonight and it puts Brienne off guard, making her suspicious and wary.
Jaime is my husband, I trust him, she has to repeat again and again as they tear off their clothes but the strange feeling doesn't leave her.
Jaime kisses her hard, with teeth and tongue, his hand is wandering down her body, exploring all the sensitive spots he's come to learn about her.
Brienne reciprocates, her own hands all over him.
Let me forget, her kisses beg him. It's only me and you.
Jaime seems to feel the same. He completely loses himself in her. Caressing, kissing, thrusting.
Jaime, she's no longer sure if she voices her thoughts. Jaime, please. I love you.
I love you too.
So much.
Brienne.
You and only you.
My wench.
My love.
He breathes with every thrust. His eyes so soft and vulnerable.
His whole body shudders as they come together.
-/*/-
Brienne is woken up by strange sounds coming from the corridor. The distant clunk of armour and muffled steps.
Jaime, she turns to his side of the bed to discover that it is empty. She looks around confused.
What is happening?
Brienne quickly leaves the bed and puts her clothes on. She's about to cross the room and reach for Oathkeeper when the door suddenly bursts open and five armed soldiers are coming inside.
Her heart sinks. These are not northerners.
Golden Company.
Inside Winterfell.
And they are surrounding her in her own room.
"You go with us, whore," one of them, seemingly commander, barks at her.
Brienne stands still. She needs Oathkeeper now. And Jaime. Where is Jaime? Is he alive? And Sansa? What is happening?
"Are you deaf? Do as you're told or we'll make you."
The Oathkeeper is hung by the fire. Too far to reach.
And Brienne doesn't have her armour on.
There are no chances for her to defeat them.
But she tries anyway and almost immediately is overpowered.
A fist comes to her face and heavy boots to her ribs.
"You're lucky we have to bring you alive, bitch," someone says close to her ear as the others rope her hands and drag her outside the room.
There are no fights. How did they get inside? Crossing the main courtyard, in flickering light of torches, Brienne sees a couple of bodies lying down in the snow. She tries to look closer to see if she recognizes them.
Where is Jaime, she keeps thinking, and Sansa, and Pod?
-/*/-
Brienne ends up in a dark cold and wet dungeon. Her eyes cannot adjust to the surrounding darkness. Brienne trembles from a cold. She didn't manage to put on her warm cloak.
Seated against the wall, she tries to listen. Any sound that could indicate what is going on.
And where is Jaime?
He wasn't in her bed that night. Where did he go? Did he manage to escape? Or did they ki… No, they couldn't. Not Jaime.
Not her Jaime.
He lives.
He must live.
He must.
-/*/-
She has no idea how much time has passed. And she's too cold and numb to care.
She doesn't move when she hears the key in the door and feels someone's hands that are dragging her again.
-/*/-
Brienne is in the main courtyard again. Her hands are still tied. She doesn't raise her head, the morning sun too bright after the time she has spent underground. Lady Sansa is also there.
She's alive, Brienne sighs with relief. Seemingly unharmed, her lady stands tall with her head raised and proud. Despite her hands behind her back and the paleness of her face which holds so much contrast to the bright red hair, Brienne cannot look at the young woman without awe.
It takes Brienne a while to notice that the soldiers are moving around in a hurry. They are leaving, there is no doubt about it.
Brienne looks around. Where is Jaime? The question doesn't leave her mind. And Pod? They couldn't… No, that's impossible. They couldn't…
-/*/-
Brienne and Sansa are seated on the same horse. Brienne feels the stung in her heart as the lady visibly flinches at the forced closeness to her sworn sword. The only little comfort is that they don't have to face each other.
-/*/-
They are about to leave through the main gate when Brienne finally sees him.
Jaime is crossing the courtyard with Widow's Wail at his hip. He is not tied.
He's not a prisoner.
In her confusion, Brienne cannot turn away her gaze from him. Jaime comes to a group of Golden Company soldiers mixed with Lannisters. They quickly exchange a few words but Brienne is not able to hear.
What's going on? Jaime, she begs him silently.
Then, as he could hear her silent call, his head turns in her direction and his eyes lock with hers. It is not the look Brienne is used to see on his face. This one is full of coldness and contempt. Jaime has never looked at her that way. Even when he was nothing but a Kingslayer to her.
"Jaime?" Brienne can't stop herself from uttering his name. Her voice is weak and trembling from disuse but she needs him to hear her. Jaime, what's going on? Please, tell me it's not… Jaime…
He turns away.
"Let's move," he says loudly to the soldiers. "The Queen is waiting to serve her justice."