The following day, Levi acts as if nothing happened. He doesn't ask her anything and he doesn't seem uncomfortable around her. He greets her with his usual "good-morning" silent nod when she enters the kitchen for breakfast. He calls her name effortlessly when he wants to correct her in training. Damn, he even looks her in the eye!
Petra wants to punch him so hard! Kick him, slap him, kiss him. Everything! Her whole body burns and he just stands in front of her so calm and apathetic. She would prefer it if he yelled at her, if he gave her more chores than usual, if he had a god-damn reaction! Anything at all! But he doesn't even acknowledge it.
Maybe he was drunk last night? And he has forgotten their conversation? No, he seemed pretty sober. There was no smell of alcohol. And it'd be something so out of his character.
Then why?
Does he think that by ignoring her he will convince her to stay? He's dead-wrong! Petra's already made up her mind and nothing is going to stop her. Even if Levi doesn't pay attention to her wishes, she is ready to take drastic measures.
She will get Hange to kick his ass. Levi will probably listen to her. Despite their constant teases, those who really know Levi can tell that he holds great respect for her.
And even if that doesn't work, Petra can go to Commander Erwin. When he gives an order, Levi never disobeys.
Should she say all these thoughts to her captain? Maybe warn him? Intimidate him?
Hey, if you don't transfer me to another squad, I will bypass your stupid authority and go straight to Commander Eyebrows!
That ought to cause a reaction from him. And then she'd leave his squad for good! She'd never have to stick to his extreme cleaning rules again, or wash the blood off of her blades every damn second!
She'd never have to see his annoying cold expression and wonder what he might be thinking.
She'd never have to endure his unreserved comments and insults after even the tiniest error.
She'd never listen to him calling her one of his "shitty brats".
She'd never have to feel that pat on her shoulder, that he used in order to say "good job".
She'd never have to look into his deep grey eyes and—
Crap.
Leaving his squad will hurt a lot. But not more than suppressing her feelings every single day.
She knows she'll be okay eventually. They always say that your first love makes you cry like a baby, but over the years you get over it and laugh with your taste and past self. Maybe there will be a time when her crush— no, she can't call it that. Her love for Levi will make her laugh, rather than make her shed tears every night in her pillow.
The training goes as usual. Petra tries her best, but at the same time she doesn't want to stand out, so she won't receive his "good-job" pat. One touch from him and she doesn't even know if she can keep it together. She might lose it and start kissing him relentlessly.
When the sun is down, the squad is dining at the kitchen.
They don't have standard seats around the table. Sometimes Levi happens to sit next to her. (Petra suspects that the trio stooges leaves the chair next to her empty on purpose, so Levi will have nowhere else to sit. They would often tease her about her OBVIOUS crush for the captain, but she would always laugh it off. Now she doesn't know if she can keep pretending it's a joke).
So, it wasn't unusual that Levi would occasionally sit next to Petra, but why does he have to do so today? Especially since all the other chairs are unoccupied!
She eats her food silently, detached from the boys' humorous conversation. She doesn't even know what they're talking about, even though their loud tone pierces her ears.
Levi doesn't participate in the discussion either. It's in his nature to be distant. It's like the two of them are in a completely different universe. The rest of their squad doesn't matter. They are alone.
"Oi" Levi doesn't have to raise his voice much to put an immediate end to the boys' discussion.
They all look at him, shutting their mouth.
Instead of saying something, he calmly takes a sip from his glass.
"Sir?" Eld asks a few moments later, almost afraid to break the silence.
"You shitty brats didn't do so bad today at training".
"Thanks, captain!" Oluo receives the compliment proudly, certain it was directed mostly at him.
Levi sighs before continuing: "That's why I'm going to give you a present".
"A present? For all of us?" Gunther exclaims enthusiastically.
Four pairs of eyes are fixed on the captain with curiosity.
"That's right. Given your performances lately, I will reward each one of you with some days off. Go to your family, go drink your asses off, stay here and lay on bed all day… Do whatever the hell you want, I don't care. But you'll be off duty".
"You mean… off of cleaning duty too?" Eld asks anxiously.
Levi nods.
Loud celebrations follow, as the boys jump up from their chairs.
"Thank you, Captain! Thank you!" Gunther says.
"Captain, you are so good!" Oluo adds. "I'm so thankful I could kiss you!"
"Do that and your days off will turn into toilet duty" Levi responds quickly.
"Excuse me, captain" he laughs awkwardly. "It was just an expression of enthusiasm. I mean, if someone from our squad were to actually kiss you, it wouldn't be me".
Gunther and Eld chuckle while giving not-so-very discreet looks over at Petra, who is choking on her water.
Levi lets that comment slide and says: "You'd better not get out of shape on your days off. Don't make me regret it. Otherwise, your training when you return will be hell".
"Of course, captain! Of course!" the boys reassure him fervently.
"I know it must be hard for you to be apart from us" Eld says, "but I will sacrifice myself, as second in command, and take the huge burden before anyone else. I will take my leave first".
"Sir, he's just anxious to see if his fiancée is still loyal to him" Gunther laughs and a bickering between him and Eld starts.
"Oi. Shut your shitty mouths, you morons" the captain cuts them off. "Eld, you'll have to wait for your leave. I can't have you all gone at the same time. Ladies first".
Petra turns and looks at him.
"Does that include Gunther too?" Oluo asks and gets slapped.
"Captain, that's not fair treatment!" Eld protests. "Are you discriminating against us because of our gender?"
"Yes" Levi says and takes one sip.
"Sir, after Petra, can I go?" Gunther asks.
"I asked first, you dumb-ass!" Eld shouts. "Wait for your own turn!"
"Petra, you haven't talked at all" Levi draws everyone's attention at the surprisingly reserved girl. "You've mentioned recently that your father is sick. Don't you want to go and see him?"
Oh, so that's what this is about! He takes advantage of her father's condition to give her some time off the barracks so she can change her mind about her request!
That son of a –
He may be cornering her, but he only delays the inevitable. What does he expect? That she'll miss him while she's away and she'll realize that she doesn't want to leave the Levi squad? That's not going to happen! Okay, maybe she'll miss him, but she's not changing her mind.
So, that's why he wasn't talking to her all day. He already had a plan in mind!
"Well? Petra?"
That's a dirty little game he's playing. But she can't refuse in front of everyone, out of stubbornness. Besides, she really wants to see her father, no matter the reasons behind her leave. And she'll be grateful to the captain for that, even though he didn't have all the right intentions.
"Thank you, captain" Petra mutters under her breath. "I'm sure I will be a great help to my family during these hard times".
"So that's why the captain insisted that 'ladies first'!" Eld realizes. "Matters of health are more important. My fiancée can wait. I knew the captain wouldn't treat us differently because of sex!"
"At least that kind of sex" Oluo murmurs to Gunther, but everyone hears him.
Petra is mortified at the suggestion. Levi doesn't ignore that kind of comment for a second time:
"Oi, care to explain what you mean, Oluo? Because the only sex I see happening here is you at the training halls being fuc—"
"Hey! Shush!"
Petra always has had the spontaneous reaction to interrupt someone when they are about to say a 'bad word'. She has done that many times to Eld, Gunther and Oluo (especially Oluo), but it's the first time she interrupts the captain.
Damn.
Why didn't she hold her tongue and let him curse? He was defending her after all! Oh, he must be mad! She can already hear him scolding her: A subordinate dares to dictate how her captain should speak?
Her face becomes totally red when she sees the boys' widened eyes locked at her, with shock, as if to say: Did Petra really 'shush' the captain?!
The tension at the room grows every second, as everyone is hanging on Levi's lips.
But Levi just sips his drink.
"Oi, why couldn't you all be quiet like that before? We could've enjoyed a peaceful meal instead of your savage voices".
The three boys are hesitant to laugh, but they eventually crack.
So, he is not going to punish her for speaking up. He just lets it pass. Is it because of what happened last night? He doesn't want to upset her?
Well, Petra didn't really expect a huge punishment. The captain is logical and doesn't overreact, nor is he obsessed with keeping his authority (he doesn't need to worry about that, they all respect him). She didn't expect, say, five hours of running around the forest. But not even a snarky remark? That's a first.
As everyone gets up and leaves the kitchen, Petra heads to the sink.
"What are you doing?" Levi's voice startles her.
She thought he left.
"Captain! It's my turn to wash the dishes" she explains.
"Go to sleep, Petra. I'll do it" he walks closer.
"Sir, you don't have to—"
"That's an order, Petra" he says staring her deep in the eyes, having come extremely close to her. "Go upstairs" he adds with a softer voice that she can't argue with.
"Thank you. Goodnight, Captain".
"I've already told you, you don't have to—" he sighs. "Never mind. Goodnight".
Petra is about to leave. But she can't just yet. She turns back at him.
"Honestly, thank you. Not just about the dishes. For everything else too. You are a good captain, Levi" she adds his name this time and runs off before anything else can be said between them.
"Don't you have washing duties tonight, Pet?" Eld remarks when he sees her at the corridor.
"Well… I am super-fast. What do you know?" she shrugs as she enters her room.
She closes the door behind her, but she can still hear the guys talking:
"Bet she had the captain do the dishes for her" Oluo giggles.
"Oh, he'd freaking die for her" Gunther adds.
"Do you think it's inappropriate?" Eld asks.
There's a short pause, before Gunther and Oluo answer:
"No, it's fine".
"Nuh, I ship it".
Well, at least something today makes her laugh.
They would be very disappointed to find out that the pairing in their minds could never come true. But she has to admit that their efforts at playing match-makers, despite causing her unfathomable distress and embarrassment, are somewhat cute.
She's going to miss those three four guys.