This is a collection of stories about the time Sasuke spent with Orochimaru during his training.

Healing the Akatsuki

2 years in training

Two years have passed since Sasuke left Konohagakure to train under Orochimaru. It was autumn, and as the nights got shorter and colder, the cold season in the shinobi world began. Orochimaru's cave was as dark as always, and for whatever reason, it stank even more whenever it rained.

Sasuke was sitting on the toilet as Orochimaru appeared at his bathroom door. As it happened, they had no door locks on the restroom doors.

Of course, Sasuke thought bitterly. He had tried to use his sword to lock the room, but it just didn't work.

His eyebrow twitched, and he frowned deeply. His sensei loved startling him on the toilet. Two years of that specific kind of psychological torture have shaped Sasuke almost more than the training. It was comparable to Itachi's 72 hours Tsukuyomi. Sasuke knew because he had experienced both, and he wasn't sure which of the two torture methods he would choose if somebody would ask him.

Still sitting on the toilet, Sasuke raised his head to look at Orochimaru.

"My dear Sasuke," Orochimaru hissed, "Kabuto and I are going on a trip to Amegakure to provide medical services. I want you to accompany us."

"What?"

Orochimaru rolled his eyes. One brother is blind, the other deaf. "You'll accompany us to Amegakure to help us with providing medical services."

"But I'm not a medical-nin," Sasuke exclaimed.

"I'm aware of that. Still, we need your support. Our clients are rather…" Orochimaru was searching for the correct word, "Eccentric."

Sasuke raised his eyebrow.

"You'll see when we get there." Orochimaru smiled his snaky smile. "And don't forget the candies."

"The - what?"

"The candies," Orochimaru repeated patiently, rolling his eyes. Really deaf.

Finally, he walked out of Sasuke's bathroom.

Pulling up his pants, Sasuke sighed deeply. He needed to finally avenge his clan and kill his brother. Then, he would have peace again. Peace on the toilet, too.

Maybe the Uchiha clan was really cursed.

Some days later, Kabuto, Orochimaru, and Sasuke stood in front of a dark high-rise building in Amegakure. Before they knocked on the front door, Orochimaru briefed his subordinates.

"Our clients are the members of the Akatsuki. Be careful. They're dangerous and erratic."

"The Akatsuki?!" Sasuke shouted. "Itachi is here?" Instantly, his hand was preparing a Chidori, and his Sharingan was activated.

"My dearest Sasuke," Orochimaru chuckled softly. "You are not ready to fight Itachi yet. He is still stronger than you. Keep calm and do not provoke him."

Kabuto nodded. "Consider this an opportunity to learn more about your brother's weaknesses."

"Why would he stay if he sees me?" Sasuke snarled at the two.

"He won't recognize you," Kabuto said quietly.

"What?"

Orochimaru rolled his eyes again. "Itachi is almost blind."

Sasuke's eyes widened in disbelief. Itachi ... blind?

"But then why not kill him right now?" With his sword in his hand, Sasuke reached for the door again, but Orochimaru caught his wrist.

"You're not ready to fight him yet. Itachi's other senses are sharpened, and he's still one of the strongest shinobi." Orochimaru tried to smoothen Sasuke's anger.

Clenching his fists, Sasuke stood still and thought about everything. He pondered about the last time he had tried to fight his brother and how it had ended. Sasuke had promised himself to prepare better for next time to reach his goal.

"See it as information retrieval," Kabuto suggested. "You can gather information about him and use it later to kill him."

Sasuke ground his teeth, but after some minutes passed, he nodded hesitantly. He would not waste two years of being startled on the toilet to be defeated by his ridiculously strong blind brother.

"So, where are the candies?" Orochimaru asked Sasuke.

"What?" Sasuke repeated again.

Orochimaru rolled his eyes once again and thought, I'm surrounded by incompetence. If I wouldn't want your body…

"I have them, Lord Orochimaru," Kabuto said with a smirk. He took out some candies from his large backpack and handed them to Sasuke.

"Very well." Orochimaru knocked on the door of the Akatsuki headquarter.

Konan opened the door and bowed. "Thank you for arriving at such short notice."

"Well," Orochimaru answered, chuckling softly, "How could I let my former colleagues suffer so much?"

Konan nodded.

They followed Konan through a labyrinth of corridors until they reached a spacious room. Multiple stools stood there, and several members of the Akatsuki sat in the room. Deidara, Kakuzu, Kisame, and Itachi sat together. Sasori lay on a mat. Tobi stood by the wall, and Zetsu sat next to him.

"Finally!" Deidara shouted as he spotted Konan and the medical team.

"What took you so long?" Kakuzu exclaimed angrily.

Zetsu grinned. "They're finally here."

Sasuke's eyes instantly wandered to Itachi, who sat on a chair looking right through him.

"Thank you for coming," Itachi stated politely.

Sasuke didn't move, completely frozen.

Orochimaru bowed slightly, and Kabuto said, "Sure. Let's begin." He looked around the room. "Who wants to be first?"

Everybody was silent and waited for somebody else to step forward, so Itachi stood up.

"My eyes feel really itchy," he said.

Orochimaru and Kabuto looked at Sasuke. Sasuke swallowed and walked to Kabuto's bag to hand Itachi his favorite eye drops. He needed to concentrate very hard not to go berserk.

"Thank you," Itachi said with a smile while Sasuke was still contemplating killing his brother at that very moment. But with all the Akatsuki members around him, this would be too dangerous.

"Great, who's next?" Kabuto asked, handing Itachi a candy bar.

Sasuke's thoughts were interrupted by Kabuto's voice, and he pulled himself together.

The tall Kakuzu slowly stood up and walked over to Kabuto. "It's my back… It hurts!" Kakuzu growled in pain and took off his coat, revealing his strangely stitched body.

Kabuto nodded and started to inspect Kakuzu's back which was plastered with creepy masks. "Have you tried massaging the masks?"

Kakuzu shook his head.

Searching for something in his big bag, Kabuto stated, "The masks surely caused you pain. They stiffen your body. Massage them twice a day, and it will be fine." He handed Kakuzu a small bottle of snake oil.

Nodding in agreement, Kakuzu put some oil in his hand and tried to follow Kabuto's instructions immediately. "I can't reach my back!" Kakuzu suddenly growled, trying to reach his back with his hands.

All the Akatsuki members instantly looked at Hidan.

"What?" Hidan exclaimed as he noticed the glances.

"You're his partner," Tobi said in a calm voice, "It's your job."

Deidara chuckled, and Kisame grinned a vicious grin, showing his sharp teeth.

"Damn it. I was not born immortal for this." Hidan ground his teeth and thought, Maybe Jashin isn't a kindhearted god? Why couldn't I be paired with Konan or …. at least Deidara?

Then, he sighed deeply and walked away to give Kakuzu an oil massage.

"Don't forget the candy!" Orochimaru hissed at Sasuke.

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke ran to Kakuzu and gave him some sweets.

"Who's next?" Kabuto asked again.

Konan stepped forward. "My skin is dehydrated," she said with a sad voice and revealed the pale and stale-looking skin on her arm.

"I see." Kabuto nodded. "That's easy. Try this." He handed Konan a small bottle of body lotion.

"I can't use it."

"Why?"

"My paper pieces stick to it."

"Yeah, she looks like a toilet paper roll afterward!" Deidara laughed, and Konan clenched her fists.

Adjusting his misty glasses, Kabuto pondered. "How about oil?"

"Deactivates my paper jutsu completely."

"No problem at all," Orochimaru said in his snaky voice, "Just add the oil in your bathing water and stay in the tub for 15 minutes."

Konan shook her head. "I only shower. I can't take a bath."

"Why?" Kabuto asked.

All the Akatsuki members looked at Kisame, who grinned sheepishly. "Is it my turn already? I have digestion problems!"

"Ugh!" All the members simultaneously sighed in disgust.

Konan thought about the countless times she had tried to take a bath, and Kisame just entered the bathroom and sat down on the toilet with his newspaper in his hands. Konan had complained to Nagato about it multiple times, but he had just quoted some nonsense about "feeling pain." Why wouldn't the bathrooms in villain's apartments have a door lock? Even sealing the door with her paper technique hadn't helped. Kisame had just cut it open every time. Another time Konan had positioned Nagato in front of the bathroom door. But he had passed out, and Kisame had simply pushed him aside and walked in again. Taking a bath was out of the question for her since.

Orochimaru looked at the sharp-faced Kisame. "Have you tried a plant-based diet?"

"Usually, he only eats fish," Itachi noted. As Itachi spoke, Sasuke glared at his brother, clenching his fists.

"Hm," Kabuto said to Kisame, "Sounds like your body might recognize you eating fish as cannibalism. Maybe you can try something like vegetables or greens?"

Kisame's vicious grin disappeared, and he pulled out his sword Samehada. "So what should I eat!? Zetsu?" He was ready to tear everything apart.

Zetsu slowly started to walk out of the room.

"Would eggs be alright?" Itachi asked Kabuto and took some steps towards the raging Kisame.

Kabuto shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe."

"I don't like eggs!" Kisame growled, and everybody in the room rolled their eyes at the picky eater.

"Kisame, I'll make you some," Itachi said in a low voice.

Suddenly, Kisame stopped. "Fine." He really had a soft spot for his partner.

Nodding, Itachi walked out of the room and headed to the kitchen. Instantly, Sasuke rushed after Itachi.

Sasuke and Itachi stood alone in the dark and shabby kitchen. Standing only a few steps behind his brother, Sasuke observed him closely. Itachi was pulling some eggs out of the fridge and put a pan on the stove.

This is the perfect moment to kill him, Sasuke thought and got ready to strike. The atmosphere in the kitchen was filled with his rage. This was the perfect time to avenge the Uchiha clan...

Suddenly, Sasuke was pulled out of his thoughts as his brother started to speak.

"Hi there," Itachi stated. "I can sense your kill intent." Itachi turned around and faced him.

Sasuke's Chidori was ready and chirped dangerously. Raising his hand, Sasuke was about to crash his Chidori into Itachi's chest when -

"It seems like you are really hungry." A sweet little smile covered Itachi's face. "Do you also want some eggs?"

Itachi's reaction completely startled the young Sasuke, who froze. Should these really be his brother's last words to him? Sasuke was puzzled.

"Are you one of Orochimaru's subordinates?" Itachi asked.

He really doesn't recognize me, Sasuke thought. It seemed that Itachi was really going blind.

"Hn." Sasuke hoped that if he wouldn't speak, his brother might not recognize him.

Itachi took out some eggs from the egg carton. He put the pan on the stove and threw the first egg in the pan. "How do you prefer your eggs?"

I can't do it right now, Sasuke thought. Unable to kill Itachi while he was about to cook eggs for him, Sasuke started to leave the kitchen. He could try killing him next time.

"Seems like you're not much of a talker. That's fine with me." Itachi nodded. "I'll cook the eggs the way my little brother used to like them," Itachi smirked slightly, but Sasuke didn't see it. "Somehow, you remind me of him."

Already standing in the doorway, Sasuke stopped when he heard Itachi mentioning him. Again, he wanted to form a Chidori, but he failed because a memory popped up in his mind: His older brother serving him eggs when he was a little boy; the two of them sitting on the terrace, smiling and eating their breakfast together, talking about Itachi's missions.

"Ah, here you are!" Kabuto walked into the kitchen and interrupted Sasuke's thoughts. "Follow me. I need your help."

A wave of relief washed over Sasuke. He felt confused and was thankful for the interruption. Quickly, he followed Kabuto back to the room with the remaining Akatsuki members.

Orochimaru was just about to complete some antidote for the poison Sasori had accidentally used on himself. Orochimaru was scolding him like a mother. "You need to be careful with that."

Sasori was acting like a child. "But my puppets-"

"I don't want to hear it." Orochimaru interrupted him. He tried to infuse the antidote, but Sasori was afraid of syringes. Kakuzu needed to fixate Sasori with his strings.

"Kakuzu, what are you doing?" Hidan was furious. "I just massaged your disgusting masks!"

All his work was in vain, and Hidan needed to start all over again. So this is how enemies feel like when they try to kill me, he thought.

"You're next," Kabuto said in Deidara's direction.

"My mouth-hands hurt." Deidara's eyes were watery, and he showed his strange hands with mouths in them.

Kabuto and Orochimaru both inspected the hands. Sasuke stood behind Deidara, waiting for Orochimaru's instructions.

"Seems like..." Kabuto tried to look closer at the teeth in the hand, but the tongue movements irritated him, "Caries?"

Orochimaru nodded in agreement. "Do you brush your teeth at least twice a day?"

"Sure." Deidara nodded.

"All three mouths?" Kabuto raised his eyebrow, and Deidara looked caught.

"Anyhow, we need to treat the cavities," Orochimaru stated and gave Sasuke a nod. Immediately, Sasuke gripped Deidara's hands and held them tight, so Kabuto and Orochimaru could start with their medical procedure on each hand.

Deidara was startled and started screaming hysterically, "Nooooo, noooo, please." All his three mouths were opened in shock. He really hated dental procedures.

"Genjutsu," Orochimaru commanded, and Sasuke instantly obeyed. Finally, Deidara fell silent, and Kabuto and Orochimaru could continue with their procedure on his mouth-hands. Unfortunately, the mouths were still active, and the tongues were wiggling around widely. Sasuke needed to fix the sticky tongues with his hands. It was hard work because all the spit was covering Sasuke's hands. After twenty minutes, the procedure was finished. The three sighed and leaned back for a minute to take a short break.

After finally waking up from the genjutsu, Deidara asked, "And my candy?"

Frowning deeply, Sasuke threw a lollipop at him.

Deidara caught it and said slyly, "And for the other mouths?"

Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Sasuke just rolled their eyes. Finally, Sasuke went to the bathroom to wash his hands and was startled by Kisame sitting on the toilet with a newspaper in his hands.

"Ok, who's next?" Kabuto asked, and Tobi stepped forward.

"Me."

With his orange mask hiding his facial expression completely, Tobi sighed and said, "I don't feel anything."

Orochimaru looked at him for a while. This was more difficult than he had expected. "Nothing?"

Tobi shook his head. "No pain, no joy. Nothing. I'm completely empty."

"Unfortunately, I'm not trained in psychological matters," Orochimaru said softly.

"Well, I have some books with me. Maybe they might help you get a little more joy in your life." Kabuto handed Tobi three books, an "Icha, Icha" novel, a book on "How to always stay positive," and one on "How to be a stand-up comedian." This would be the birthday of the creepy bipolar Tobi.

Hidan stepped forward and whispered, "Um.. do you have something against.." He was really uncomfortable.

"Syphilis?" Kabuto asked bluntly. He had seen all kinds of illnesses in the past years, which ninjas might be ashamed of, and he was very professional.

"No!" Hidan objected.

"Erection problems?"

"No!"

Kabuto raised his eyebrow questioningly.

"Hair loss," Hidan said in a sad voice.

"Aa.." Kabuto nodded as he rummaged in his big backpack again and pulled another bottle with a snake printed on the bottle. "This is really good. It's a side effect of the curse mark. It will help you."

Hidan nodded happily.

"Don't forget the candies," Orochimaru hissed furiously at Sasuke. You give this boy one task…

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke started handing each patient a lollipop from Kabuto's backpack.

"Is there anybody else?" Orochimaru asked.

"Yes, Nagato is the last one." Konan pushed Nagato into the room.

Nagato greeted the three. "Thank you for coming."

"How can we help you?"

"I can't sleep," Nagato said in a dark voice.

"Insomnia?" Orochimaru nodded at Kabuto, who pulled a pack of herbals from his backpack.

"Try to smoke it or drink it as tea."

Nagato nodded. "Thank you."

Of course, he got a lollipop, too.

"Very well. It seems like we are done here." Orochimaru bowed.

Kabuto and Sasuke bowed as well, and the three started leaving.

They were already out of the door as they heard Itachi running after them.

"Wait."

Kabuto and Orochimaru looked at Itachi in surprise while Sasuke clenched his fists again.

"You forgot your eggs." Itachi smiled at Sasuke and handed him a small bento box, and ran off.

Sasuke was so startled he just took the container and left.

After leaving the building and walking for a while, the three looked up and saw all Akatsuki members standing at the window and waving at them. All of them were eating their candies. They seemed to be in a better mood.

"But why the candies?" Sasuke asked.

"Do you know what happened to all the other medical-nin working for them?" Kabuto adjusted his glasses.

Sasuke shook his head.

"They were all killed after healing the Akatsuki."

Sasuke gulped.

The three started their journey back home.

"Kabuto," Orochimaru said after some time, "Don't forget I borrowed you my favorite autographed "Icha Icha" copy. I searched for it the other day but couldn't find it."

Kabuto lowered his eyes. Oh-oh, he thought.

Back in Orochimaru's cave, Sasuke sat on his bed and looked at the bento box Itachi gave him.

After a while, he opened it and found that Itachi had cooked his favorite kind of eggs: scrambled eggs topped with fresh tomatoes on it and a little smiley face made with ketchup.

Sasuke sighed and started eating.

It tasted like ...

Actually, it tasted awful. Did he mix up salt with sugar? Itachi really was blind.

A\N: Did you like it? I love to hear your opinion in the reviews.

NEXT: Vacation with Orochimaru