LeBeau
1.
Naturally, I'd be taller than 155 centimeters if I could. I'd be near average if I could be 165 centimeters, but I'm not greedy. I'd settle for 160. That would certainly give me more choice in women. Otherwise, I don't really care.
People look at me and underestimate me. That works to my advantage. I can punch as hard as a taller man, and I've got the element of surprise in my favor, because no one expects it.
Honestly, why would I change anything at all? I'm handsome, sophisticated, clever, a phenomenal cook, and I'm French. I've got it all.
2.
These are the best friends I've ever had. Oddly, they're not French, though at least Kinch can speak the language. Newkirk understands it though he pretends otherwise, and he desecrates it every time he opens his mouth. It's best if he doesn't try. He speaks better German than I do, though.
Carter's the odd one. He's smart, but without the survival instincts the rest of us have.
Kinch is tough-or tough-minded, as the Colonel says, with a quiet authority. My height ensured that I would have to stand up for myself. And Newkirk had little choice. He's a survivor.
3.
Maybe you think I'd like to change my nickname. You'd be wrong.
Schultz and Klink call me the cockroach, I suppose because of my size. It's an ugly word for an ugly insect, but I don't care. I take it as a badge of honor.
Cockroaches are adaptable, tenacious and could survive anything. And they're small-they can hide. People are terrified of them.
The nickname "cockroach" means les Boches regard me as someone who has to be noticed-so they have to give me a label.
That means I'm not cute and lovable to them. I'm threatening. C'est bon.
4.
Newkirk's fighting again. He stumbled over a few words while he was on the bench outside, showing Carter and Garlotti a card trick.
Harper and Bartoli couldn't resist. They were pestering him to say it again, and then started mimicking him like a pair of children.
Finally he snapped. He landed a hard punch straight on Bartoli's chin. Next thing I knew Pierre was bleeding from the nose, and I wasn't feeling too well myself.
Il en a marre d'être taquiné, and who can blame him?
Of course, he didn't want the Colonel to find out. Bonne chance with that.