Olivia managed to hail a cab right after exiting Elliot's building. After climbing in and giving the cabbie her address, she couldn't help but look out the window to see if Elliot was chasing after her. After all, she'd done the emotional equivalent of throwing a firebomb in his face. But she saw no sign of him, and she watched until the cab had turned the corner.

Facing forward again, Olivia pressed her palms to her face as the reality of her situation – of what she had just done – started to catch up to her. Her whole body began to shake, and soon she was making soft noises that the cabbie heard and caused him to turn and look at her when he could safely do so at a red light.

"Um, you ok, hun?" he said in a thick Queens accent.

Olivia lowered her hands, revealing both tear-stained cheeks and a smile that would have made the Joker proud. "Oh, I'm fine, thanks. Don't worry – I'm a cop." This was followed by a very uncharacteristic screech that was halfway between a laugh, sob and cry for help.

Needless to say that this freaked the cabbie out so much that he didn't start driving when the light turned green.

Olivia regained some sense by the sound of car horns and shouted expletives behind them. "Sorry, sorry, I'll be okay, just drive, please," said Olivia, forcing her expression to be calm.

Thankfully, this and the commotion behind them worked on the cabbie. The rest of the drive passed uneventfully, with Olivia forcing herself to stay calm and neutral in the back seat.

When they had reached her building, Olivia made sure to tip the cabbie generously before getting out. Thankfully, he noticed this and said, "Hang in there, officer," in a good-natured tone made all the sweeter by his accent.

Olivia managed a nod and a small smile before bee-lining it inside. It took a good bit of strength to keep it all in until she was safely back in her apartment.

It was as she was stripping off her clothes that what she had started to do in the cab started up again. This time, Olivia didn't try to stop it – and she didn't try to mix a laugh in with it for long. By the time she had crawled into bed, she was sobbing harder than she had in a long time. Not since she had lived with her mother, to be honest.

Thankfully, this time, she didn't try to muffle the sounds. The moment she had sobbed out all she could sob, Olivia fell into a deep sleep.

Elliot was running, running as fast as he could. Not from something, but to something. He was running down his former street, towards the house where Kathy and the kids now lived. He was running towards it because it was on fire. Flames and smoke were pouring out of every window. There was no sign of the fire department, so he reached into his jacket pocket even as he ran, but it wasn't there.

When he came to the door, Elliot wasted no time in kicking it down. Without hesitation, he ran into the black smoke pouring out through the opening. But then…the smoke cleared. And the interior of the house was completely intact. No smoke, no flames, not even a trace of it. Elliot then heard voices, familiar voices, coming from the kitchen. He ran to it, and he had to hold onto the door frame when he stopped.

Kathy and all four of his children were sitting at the kitchen table, eating dinner as if nothing were out of the ordinary. They all looked up at him. The kids all said some form of casual greeting before turning back to their meal, while Kathy nodded at him and said, "You're welcome to some lasagna if you want, Elliot."

Relief and confusion were washing over him in equal measure to see his family safe and sound. But his instincts still told him something was wrong. Looking around the kitchen, his eyes finally landed on the closed door to the basement.

Smoke was pouring out through the bottom between the door and the floor. "Everyone outside now!" Elliot yelled while running to the door. Again, he kicked it open, and he ran down without hesitation. Somehow he remembered that they kept a mini-extinguisher down there.

As he ran down the stairway, the smell of smoke remained. He stopped when he reached the bottom because it was pitch dark down there. The smell of smoke was stronger than ever, and he was coughing. He groped along the wall for the light switch, and it seemed to take forever to find it.

But he regretted finding it the moment he flipped the switch.

On the floor of the basement lay Olivia, on her back, her throat cut clean across, in a huge pool of her own blood, her body rattling with a last gasp of life.

"LIV, NOOOOOOO!"

Elliot screamed those words as he woke up from his nightmare, sitting up in bed. His body was shaking, covered in a cold sweat. He ripped the blankets off him and threw his legs over the bed. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, he had to put his head between his legs and gulp down deep breaths.

His eyes were shut tight, trying to will that horrible image of Liv in his dream out of his head. But even when that faded, the image of her face as she'd said goodbye hours ago burned into his mind's eye like a brand. Her dark eyes filled with tears and fire, the feeling of her hand on his chest, then her lips on his cheek, so close to his mouth, as she whispered those three words…

When Elliot was finally able to sit up again, he noticed soft light coming through the gaps in his curtain. Looking at his alarm clock, he saw that it was just after six in the morning.

What time had he finally fallen asleep last night? Well, it had been early in the morning, that's for sure. After Olivia had left, he'd spent the next several hours working out in the gym he'd set up in the second bedroom of his apartment. Only until he had physically exhausted himself did he finally collapse into bed, and even then, it took a lot of tossing and turning before he fell asleep.

Only to have that nightmare.

The thought of trying to get more sleep made him shudder, so he stood up. As if on autopilot, Elliot went into the bathroom and went through his morning rituals. He then dressed casually in jeans, a gray t-shirt, a leather jacket and boots. By the time he left, Elliot knew where he intended to go.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been two years since my last confession. These are my sins…I was selfish, I was disrespectful…I lost my temper…"

Elliot sighed, wishing he had the right words to really articulate all of the mistakes that he'd made that led him here. Not quite finding them, he said in defeat, "For these and all of my sins, I am truly sorry."

"After two years, that's it? Why don't you tell me what's really bothering you, Elliot?"

The priest was an old friend who knew him and his family well. He knew of Elliot and Kathy's separation and impending divorce, and couldn't deny that he was worried for Elliot more than the others.

What was really bothering him? His nightmare flashed across his mind's eye again in vivid detail. Then, Olivia's visit last night…where to even begin with that?

The priest probed a bit when he didn't respond. "Is it your family?"

His family…In his dream, Elliot had thought they were in mortal danger but instead found them peacefully eating dinner. Olivia's words echoed in his mind: You haven't lost your family, Elliot; it's just different now. And he remembered the pain in her eyes as she rightfully scolded him for thinking he'd lost his family when it was her that truly had no family.

Elliot hung his head in his hands, feeling sick with himself. "I've been blind, I've been so blind," he said brokenly.

"To what, Elliot?" asked the priest gently.

"To my life," said Elliot, wiping his face. "I…ever since Kathy left me, I've acted like it's over. Like my family is gone forever, but they're not. My marriage may be over…but my family is still there…It's just different, not gone."

The priest let out a silent breath of surprise and relief. This was something that he had feared Elliot would never realize, let alone say aloud. "That's good to hear, Elliot. What helped you to realize this?"

The tiniest but softest of smiles came to Elliot's face as he said like a prayer, "Liv did."

Confusion creased the priest's brow, and that tone of voice was not expected at all. "Liv?"

Elliot cleared his throat with some embarrassment. "Olivia. My partner at work. Or…" Elliot paused, remembering their encounter again. "She was…" And oh, how sad he sounded.

"Was? Did something happen to her?"

The image of Olivia lying on the ground with a sliced neck flooded his mind, both memories, of reality and the dream. "Yes…to both of us."

Elliot then told his priest and his friend all about the Paul Gitano case. He told it slowly but thoroughly, honestly, needing to let it out like a disease, and this was the medicine that he was doing it by. The priest listened, horrified by the details but thankful that at least one of the children and both of the detectives had come through alive.

"So…this case was too much for your partner?" the priest gently asked when Elliot had finished his account.

"Not like that, she's a good cop and a strong one," Elliot almost snapped, not liking the implication that Olivia couldn't handle the job (though he knew the priest had meant no disrespect).

"Then, like what, Elliot?"

"We…it was too much for both of us. At different times, we each chose each other over the job, even though we knew better. We just…I don't know…and now, I don't know…where we stand…" His voice got softer as he went on, and he started to get choked up. It was starting to hit him that his partnership with Olivia was really ending, that Olivia's part in his life could be…over.

No.

A still, small voice that was clear as a bell rang through his being, steadily as the bells that struck the hour in a church steeple. No…No…No…

It was the beacon of light that he needed in this dark storm raging in him that this case had started within him. If his nightmare and this case had shown him anything, it was that he needed Olivia in his life. That the thought of her not being in it was…inconceivable. Even if it meant that they couldn't be partners anymore.

"Not over…just different."

The priest could not see Elliot – the setup of the confessional prevented that. But he knew this man well. He had waited patiently through the very long pause until Elliot muttered those last four words. He knew that there was much more going on than he was aware of, but that was fine. What mattered was that Elliot had made an emotional breakthrough that could just set him on a path towards happiness again, in whatever form God intended him to find.

"You have some decisions to make, Elliot," said the priest. "For now, though, I will absolve you and give you your penance."

Elliot nodded, taking a deep breath and rubbing his eyes.

"Your penance is to talk to both Kathy and Olivia, sooner rather than later, and start making those decisions. And, whenever it starts to feel like too much, do not keep it bottled up. Talk to someone – me, your boss, a professional – and move forward."

"I will, Father," said Elliot with quiet resolve.

Satisfied, the priest said the blessing, they both crossed themselves, and Elliot started to get up.

"Thank you, Father," said Elliot, and he meant it.

"Always, Elliot. God be with you."

An hour later, Elliot was knocking on a familiar door. In less than a minute, it was opened.

Kathy was surprised to see Elliot standing there. This wasn't his weekend, after all. But she saw no signs of confrontation or frustration or anger on his face. Instead, she saw calm, some nervousness, a little sadness, but also firm resolve. In his hands, he was holding some legal papers that she had sent him months ago that she had worried he would never sign.

When their eyes met again, she saw Elliot take a deep breath before saying, "I'm ready."

Kathy felt many emotions rush through her at those words. For a long moment, these two people who had known each other for so long and had been through so much together, just looked at each other. They felt like two sailors who had just come through a massive storm in a broken boat, and could finally see land on the horizon.

So, Kathy gave a small, sad smile that Elliot returned, before she stepped aside and let him inside.