Their new brother was… cute.
It was the only word Jughead could think of to describe Chandler Forsythe Jones. "Chandler" was chosen as it began with the same first syllable of Charles' name - an attempt to honour the baby's parents' eldest child. Of course, the baby also held the middle name Forsythe to honour his father, and by extension, his other older brother.
Alice and FP had clearly put a lot of thought into naming their child. Jughead mulled over it as he held his new baby brother for the first time during Thanksgiving break. It was surreal to be holding the tiny boy, whose brown eyes were unfocused and sleepy as he adjusted to the big and confusing new world that he'd been brought into.
Chandler Forsythe Jones. Jughead almost felt bad for the kid, truthfully. The baby had inherited the dark and often unruly mop of hair that befell FP, and Jughead himself. Chandler seemed fit to become, at least in appearance, a tiny version of his father.
At least "Pendleton" didn't make the final draft of the birth certificate.
Betty hovered nervously on a nearby couch, and Jughead cleared his throat to get her attention. She looked over at him, an unreadable expression on her face. The house was noisy, as was common when the twins were in it. Polly's visits always offered an unruly distraction for the rest of the household.
"Do you want to hold him?" Jughead asked quietly, as Juniper shrieked with laughter from somewhere in the kitchen.
But Betty still heard him. She nodded and approached them slowly, her eyes wide and stunned like a deer in the headlights. She sat down close to Jughead on the couch, and Jughead felt the stirrings of nostalgia.
The last time he'd seen her was at their parents' celebratory post-wedding dinner at an unnecessarily expensive restaurant in Greendale. Her eyelids had been artistically painted with glistening gold, and some of the glitter had spread onto the top of her cheeks. It made her look like an ethereal, glowing Goddess - but he had still been able to see every crack in her plastered-on smile.
He cautiously offered up Chandler to Betty, and the baby subsequently made a noise of protest. The faint sound trickled out of his mouth like he was an over-sensitive squeaky toy. Betty settled him into her arms and gently bounced him until he quieted. She ran her thumb over his cheek, and her eyes stayed glued to his face as his own fluttered closed.
"Not much of a conversationalist, is he?" Jughead joked as he nudged Betty with his elbow.
"Not really, no." Betty smiled and looked up at him. "He is pretty cute though. It almost makes up for his undeveloped social skills." She turned her gaze back to the sleeping infant, and Jughead pretended not to notice when she discreetly wiped away a tear.
She headed back to Yale almost immediately after Alice's painstakingly prepared Thanksgiving lunch, but promised she'd stay longer over the winter vacation period.
Jughead was quickly swarmed with essays and creative pieces, and had little time to himself for the rest of the semester. Dean tried to convince him to go with him to parties, but Jughead told him honestly that although he enjoyed his company, he'd rather stick pins in his eyes than get drunk with the other students (much to his roommate's amusement). Before too long, Jughead felt he was in desperate need of a literary and collegiate break.
It was two days before Christmas, and most of the family was in Riverdale again. Jughead and Jellybean temporarily kidnapped their baby brother in order to show him the comic book store on the South Side. Not that Chandler seemed to appreciate it; when not fussing to be taken out of his stroller and held by one of his siblings, the baby was more interested in sucking on his snake patterned pacifier than in taking note of his sister's descriptions of various superhero figurines.
"Now, pay attention, C, because this is very important." Jughead said seriously as he held up a "Red Circle" comic book and showed it to the two month old in his sister's arms. "This is a very dangerous book. You must never open one of these." He waved the comic book slightly. "Side effects of reading it may include a sudden onset of abdominal muscle development, a complete loss of common sense, and an increase of testosterone so deadly that it may lead you to joining the army, a mob, a boxing tournament, or worse," he paused for dramatic effect, and finished with a whisper, "the local high school football team."
"I'm sure Little C is going to take all of your brotherly advice to heart." Jellybean rolled her eyes as Chandler stared at Jughead with a blank look on his face. "We can't have our little brother turn into a jock, now can we?"
When they were back home, Jughead watched as Jellybean carefully cradled their sleeping brother in her arms and made her way upstairs. He had a moment of peace and quiet to himself before he heard a voice coming from the backyard.
He made his way closer to the door and realised it was Alice talking hurriedly on the phone. She was wrapped up in layers of clothing to fend off the frigid winter air, and her breath came out in a cloud of frosty smoke as she argued with whoever was on the phone.
"Betty, please…" Alice said, sounding genuinely upset. Jughead knew instantly he should stop eavesdropping, but the burning curiosity won out and he strained to hear the one-sided conversation.
"But it's the baby's first Christmas, Elizabeth, you can't miss this… no, of course I understand that it's your senior year, but… not even for just one day?... no, no, of course I don't want you to be driving while there's an ice storm… honey, I really don't like the idea of you spending Christmas alone, this is family time…"
There was a long pause in Alice's words. Jughead was about to move away from the door and wallow in the confusing disappointment he felt about Betty's decision not to come home for Christmas this year, but he was stopped in his tracks when he heard Alice's surprised change of voice:
"Oh really, what's his name?"
Jughead's heart froze in his chest.
Alice peppered on for a moment with questions about the new man in Betty's life, and Jughead swallowed thickly and hurried down into the basement. He slammed his bedroom door slightly too hard.
The sound of it echoed through the house, followed moments later by a loud wail. Jughead heard Alice's muffled curse as she hurried upstairs to retrieve the baby, and Jughead couldn't help but feel like he wouldn't mind joining in with his brother's loud emotional display.
Two days later, when Alice explained to Polly that Betty wasn't going to be joining in their festivities that year because she'd met someone, Jughead clutched his glass of eggnog so hard that it shattered in his hands. He grimaced as his step-mom patched up the small cut on his palm and tried to force his anger back into the dark recesses of his mind.
He spent much of his last semester of college handing in creative pieces that his lecturers thought were of a high standard and showed great emotional depth.
"It's like I can feel Jordan's pain, Jug…" His workshop tutor had noted about his most recent character. When Jughead started to downplay his efforts, his tutor had doubled down. "No, seriously, you describe heartbreak with such creative emotional clarity - I know I said it's an overdone genre, but I think you could break into romance if you're still planning to pursue fiction writing."
Jughead's literature essays were the most thoroughly-researched pieces of writing he'd ever created. Truthfully, his emotions turned out to be a lot easier to ignore whenever he threw himself into his college work.
Before Easter, Dean somehow convinced him to go to a few parties, which usually ended with Jughead half-carrying his roommate home while the wasted man explained his belief that illicit drugs were only illegal because the government couldn't regulate them for tax purposes. Jughead - who had seen the havoc that drugs like Fizzle Rocks could reap on those who used them - couldn't bring himself to agree, but was rarely in the mood to argue with Dean, particularly while his roommate was still under the influence of said illicit substances.
On the final day of classes before spring break, Jughead was dragged to another one of these parties. Jellybean took pity on him and texted him a heads up that Betty was bringing her new boyfriend home to meet Alice.
Jughead blamed that bit of information for the state he eventually found himself in.
"This is great, Jones. You are actually getting drunk and having fun - at a party!" One of the girls in his 'New York Literature' class exclaimed animatedly. "And here I was starting to think you are as broody and mysterious as you look."
Dean laughed loudly and clapped Jughead on the shoulder. "Aww be nice, Jess. He just found out his ex has a new boyfriend."
Jughead shot a glare at Dean and downed his drink in one fluid gulp. He grimaced and looked down into the glass as his throat burned. "This isn't Hennessy." He said, in annoyed confusion.
"Oh, I ran out of Hennessy an hour ago." Dean said proudly and shrugged. "That's tequila. Need a refill?"
"I'm good." Jughead said, his eyebrows still knitted together as he left his glass on a nearby counter. "If either of you need me to be the 'against' side of any extra-terrestrial related debates, I'll be out front."
Jughead stumbled over his own feet as he made his way to the front door, but managed to put himself to rights by the time the cool air washed over his face. He breathed in a deep sigh of relief as he stepped out of the overcrowded, loud share house rented by some of the Drama students. They had some interesting views on using theatre as a literary device, but Jughead was far too drunk for any of those conversations. In any case, his head was spinning, and he wanted nothing more than to just lay back on the untidy patches of lawn and look up at the sky.
He settled, instead, for sitting in the gutter and trying not to topple over.
He eventually became aware of the musical thudding and generic laughter from the party becoming momentarily louder then fading away again. It took him a moment to realise that the front door had opened and closed again, and he turned his head back just in time to see Jess prancing over towards him.
"Can I come join your pity party?" She asked with a smirk, and sat down without waiting for an answer. Jughead shrugged as she pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her handbag. He declined her offer with a shake of his head and watched as she placed one between her purple painted lips.
Jughead tried to clear his head enough to think of something to say. He settled on: "How'd you go with the Maya Angelou essay?"
Jess snickered and breathed out a puff of smoky air. "Ugh, you seriously want to talk about assignments right now?"
Jughead shook his head. "Nah, just seemed like a safe topic."
"Safe?" Jess raised her eyebrows and turned to look him up and down. "Why? Are you usually… dangerous?"
Jughead felt an odd little thrill in his gut when he realised she was flirting with him. Jess was one of the few people in his classes that he gravitated towards during workshop discussions and sat next to in seminars. He remembered in the first class they had together, when he'd introduced himself, she responded with: "Jughead? I hope you have a last name because I am not calling you that."
She always seemed a little too wild for Jughead's taste, but she was intelligent enough, and Jughead usually agreed with her analysis of poetry. He suspected Jess actually enjoyed their degree and wasn't just doing it because she did AP English at school and had no idea what she wanted to do with herself after college. He guessed she was essentially a friend, or at least more than an acquaintance. Which was… nice. Jughead was sorely lacking in the 'friend' department lately.
Not that he usually cared about how many friends he had, but there were only so many ill-timed jokes and conspiracy theories Jughead could take from Dean before he wanted space. And that's saying something coming from Jughead - Riverdale's King of conspiracies and ill-timed jokes.
"Well," Jughead said in response to her dangerous comment, "I was in a biker gang in high school."
Jess' eyes widened. "No shit? Damn, Jones. Not just a pretty face, it seems."
Jughead, who had until now been using defensive mind blocks to ignore his feelings about a certain blonde in his life, went on the attack mode. "You'd know all about pretty faces, I guess." He gave her a smile and hoped he didn't seem too intoxicated.
Jess slid closer to him. "Smooth. Does that usually get you laid?"
Jughead laughed. "Never." He reached up and scratched the back of his head. "I'm in sort of a… jam, with the fairer sex."
"Oh yeah? Well…" she ashed out her cigarette and dropped the still-smoking butt to the ground. Then Jughead's stomach tightened when he felt the warmth of her hand sliding up his thigh. "I can help you out of that jam, baby…"
It was early in the morning when Jughead woke up disoriented, his head groggy and pounding, his stomach feeling gross and rumbly, and with absolutely no idea where he was. He opened his eyes and flinched in the light - the offending glow was coming from the window next to the bed. From a quick assessment of the small bedroom and the desk covered in novels and textbooks, he knew he must be in a dorm room.
But it wasn't his.
He sat up slowly and tried to keep in a groan. The blanket fell down around his waist, and the absence of warmth made his chest feel significantly exposed. He looked down and almost gasped in horror when he realised he was completely naked. Then movement next to him made him realise he wasn't alone in the small dorm-issue bed…
He was almost too afraid to look down at the other person, but was filled with a small amount of relief when he realised it was Jess - the girl who'd been in most of his writing classes since freshman year. At least he knew who she was. The covers were wrapped low around her waist, exposing her breasts and revealing that she, too, was naked.
Jughead tried not to wake her as he slipped out of the bed and went hunting for his clothes. He had no idea what the protocol was for this situation. Was he meant to leave her a note with his number on it? He was fairly certain she already had it. Would they go to class after spring break and act like this never happened? How did this happen? He remembered her hand sliding up his leg, and then her straddling his lap… and maybe her suggestion that they 'liven this party up a bit'... Did I do drugs last night? Jughead thought with a startled anxiety.
He'd finally buckled up his belt when Jess opened her eyes and rolled onto her side to face him. "You leaving?" She asked in a tired voice.
Jughead paused for a moment and tried to think of something to say to her. This girl he'd apparently had sex with, who was not his ex-girlfriend turned step-sister… "Yeah… sorry, I have to start heading to Riverdale. Long, long, drive you know." He could see his shirt peeking out from under the bed and reached down to rescue it. "Sorry to… run off like this." He was not sorry. He was, in fact, completely unsure how he felt at all. "But I'll see you… in Poetry Criticism?"
"You rocked my world last night, Jones." She said groggily. "You can see me any time you want."
Jughead had plenty of time to stew over that comment on his walk back to his dorm room. And plenty of time to think about the fact that he'd actually done it - he'd had sex with another person, someone who wasn't Betty.
Dean had been way too enthusiastic about it for someone as hungover as he seemed to be. "Dude, are you just getting home? Holy shit - is this the walk of shame?" He'd sat up in bed excitedly. "Bro, I'm so proud of you!"
"Fuck off, man." Jughead had weakly retaliated.
"Ha! I feel like a soccer mom." He grinned and held his hand over his chest and made a sappy expression as he put on a feminine tone. "My baby's first one night stand."
"That's not…" Jughead started to say, but paused as he realised that was exactly what he'd just done.
"You got balls to the wall wasted and sexually experimented with a classmate." Dean said confidently. "Welcome to college, Jughead."
Later, as Jughead rode past the long stretches of empty highway, he couldn't help feeling like the previous night was an experience he didn't want repeated.
And yet… realistically, Jughead knew his relationship with Betty was well and truly over. The last time they'd been together intimately felt like the last time. And no matter how painful it was… maybe it was time to move on. But still, the thought of sleeping with someone who wasn't Betty was… weird. The fact he couldn't even remember his drunken tryst with Jess was even weirder.
Jughead knew from experience how much Betty liked sex - it was how she connected with him when they were together, how she expressed and showed her love and affection. In that case, he highly doubted that Betty wasn't having sex with her new boyfriend… so why should Jughead feel weird about sex with another person? Why should he have to be abstinent when Betty clearly wasn't?
Jess aside, there were plenty of smart and intelligent and beautiful girls in his college classes. Maybe he should start actually talking to some of them. And yet… the more he thought about talking to them, dating them, sleeping with them, the more he felt…disgusted. He didn't even know the other girls in his class that well. Sure, he knew that Parvati was weirdly passionate about love triangles in young adult fiction and Sarah was obsessed with iambic pentameter… but he couldn't build a relationship on that. He couldn't date someone's poetry preferences, or have sex with their essay skills…
He was still thinking about the practicality of it all when he finally pulled up in front of the family home on Elm Street. There was one car he didn't recognise, and his eyes narrowed as he wondered if it was his car - did Betty's boyfriend drive the shiny black Mercedes parked out front? What kind of job did he have to afford a car like that? He clearly wasn't a student at Yale…
Jughead didn't go out of his way to be rude to the tall blonde and chiseled man who had Betty looped through his arm for most of the day. But he wasn't about to build a friendly rapport with him either.
Jughead decided that Betty's new boyfriend Adam Chisholm had a boring name and a boring personality to go with it. He brought up topics like finance and housing and economic models and Jughead, more than once, found himself giving FP incredulous looks. FP frowned and gave Jughead a quick shake of his head several times in warning when Jughead looked like he was going to say something about it; a little unfair, since it wasn't Jughead's fault that Adam was the monotoned human incarnation of a sloth.
Adam and Betty were staying at the Five Seasons, and Jughead made a considerable effort to keep the glare off his face as he watched them leave through the front door. When he saw Adam's hand sliding down to rest on Betty's lower back, Jughead's eyes shot burning daggers at the pale skin. He wondered if Adam could feel it.
"Can I just go ahead and say what everyone is thinking?" Jellybean said not too long later. "Betty's new boyfriend is ridiculously boring."
"JB, be nice…" FP chastised from his seat at the dinner table. He had Chandler cradled in his arms as the baby drank from a little white bottle. Chandler could almost hold it himself; both his tiny hands were on either side of the bottle, with FP lightly keeping it in place.
Jellybean furiously shook her head. "Hell no, what does Betty see in him? She's so far out of his league they aren't even playing the same game."
Alice was putting dishes away as she joined in the conversation. "I don't know, JB. He's very smart… and nice. And he's a bit older. Betty needs some maturity in her life, I think."
Jughead pretended to be extremely interested in an app on his phone and acted like their conversation had zero effect on him.
"Come on, he talked about stocks for twenty minutes. Even Betty looked bored." JB sighed and pulled a twizzler out of her pocket. "Where'd she meet this guy anyway? Does he go to Yale?" She asked as she munched on her snack.
"He used to." Alice confirmed. "He's not in her grade, and he's a mortgage broker now, but he was one of the Teacher's Aids in her classes a year ago."
"He was her teacher?!" Jellybean's voice raised. "Oh my God. Tea." She said in awe.
"Anyway, maybe we can change the topic now." FP said calmly, and Jughead noted out of the corner of his eye that FP was giving him a pointed look.
He saw Betty once more before returning to Iowa. She was practically glowing with happiness as she told Alice about her graduate job offer with a company that worked with law enforcement to bait pedophiles into situations that could lead to their arrest. She was passionate about the job opportunity ("Honestly, Mom, I'm excited to be a part of delivering real justice") and was hoping it would give her an edge when she applied for the FBI at twenty three. Jughead thought it was a shame she had to wait another year before she was old enough to join; if the FBI had any sense, they'd have hired her straight out of high school.
Jughead found himself at more parties with Dean than he liked, and woke up hungover in bed with girls from his class so many times it was almost becoming routine. Usually it was Jess, three times it was Sarah, and twice it was Parvati ("You know, Jughead, you're actually the first guy who's ever gone down on me…" she'd said the next morning, a dopey smile on her face as Jughead made an excuse to trudge back to his dorm room). Once he even woke up with a girl from the Drama society, and he had absolutely no idea what her name was or how they'd met.
Jess usually spoke to him after their classes, and heavily implied that he should ask her out, and Jughead even considered biting the bullet to see where it went… but he couldn't bring himself to date someone new. Not yet.
But he forced himself to talk to Jess more, and Dean teased him mercilessly any time she winked at him in the library. His feelings for Betty were locked away in a steel box at the very dark corners of his mind, the lid of which only rattled when his instagram feed forced him to come face-to-screen-to-face with Adam Chisholm.
Jess was fun, and passionate about literature, and asked Jughead about his writing ("I wanna know about the shit you don't show anyone, Jones. Not the one thousand word limit themed bullshit the Creative Writing TA gives us") and he spent more and more time with her. The first time they had sex sober Jughead didn't feel disgusted, or awkward, or weird. It just felt normal, and good, and he thought that maybe the racing of his heart that he felt when she walked into the room could even be feelings…
Jughead and Betty both graduated college.
FP and Jellybean - and Jughead's Mom - were all in attendance as he was handed his Bachelor of Arts Degree. He looked down at it for a moment on stage, the name Forsythe Pendleton Jones III staring up at him on the smooth and shiny paper. He couldn't hold back his own grin as he heard his father whooping and hollering in enthusiasm as he shook the professor's hand and faced the camera.
FP kept a copy of the photo on his bedside table.
Alice, Polly and Charles went to Betty's graduation, the twins and Chandler in tow. Betty graduated with Highest Honours, and Adam gave her a big, beautiful bouquet of her favourite flowers in congratulations.
Jughead saw the photo of the seemingly happy couple - the bouquet proudly resting in Betty's arms - on Polly's Instagram the next day. A petty part of him considered reporting the photo for harassment.
Before the semester was over, Jughead started dating Jess for real, and soon after graduating they were both heading for New York to pursue their dreams of careers in writing. Everything in New York was expensive and overpriced - especially the rent - but between the two of them they could afford a tiny studio apartment on the eighth floor of a dodgy building in Hell's Kitchen.
Jughead spent most of his time the first few weeks doing freelance editing and trying to apply for jobs. He eventually got one with a small company that produced scientific journal articles, and thought that perhaps this job would give him the 'real' experience that every damn publishing house wanted before they'd consider his application. At least it paid decently.
The only problem seemed to be his writer's block.
He thought, to begin with, that perhaps he was just exhausted. He'd just graduated from a writing degree after all, it was no wonder he was lacking in inspiration and motivation. But as the weeks turned into months and Jughead still found himself unable to write anything original, or even just work on one of the many novels he'd abandoned over the last decade, he started to feel a deep anxiety that there must be something holding him back.
Jess, who'd been fun and feisty and great company to begin with, seemed to get more annoyed with him as time went on. Jughead wondered if they'd moved too fast in their relationship. He didn't think they did - it made sense to live together, they both needed to save what little money they could and neither could make it in New York alone. And Jess wasn't a rebound. No, he'd googled it, and from what he could gather from reddit forums and Cosmopolitan articles, it was unlikely that he'd be on the rebound four years after a breakup.
Usually Jess and Jughead were happy with each other - they were both sarcastic jokesters who read books and often delved into debates about news articles with their own highly researched opinions.
Their sex life was amazing. Frequent and adventurous and spontaneous; on different surfaces in their apartment (they couldn't limit themselves to a bed), and more than once blurring the line between 'private property' and 'public park'.
But their fights… well, they were more toxic than nuclear waste.
Jughead thought he'd been in fights with a girlfriend before. But his tiffs and petty arguments with Betty Cooper in high school were nothing on the screaming matches he'd find himself in with Jess. They'd start because he wasn't being 'sensitive enough', or he wasn't focusing on her 'emotional needs', but they'd soon delve into hurtful comments like: 'I'm fucking done with you, Jones' and quickly become accusations like: 'you're more in love with that fucking typewriter than you are with me'.
It wasn't true, of course. He did love Jess. Even more than his typewriter… but maybe not more than the person who gave it to him. Those kinds of thoughts were dangerous, and there was no way he was going to admit something so depressing to his girlfriend, who already searched for reasons to be mad at him on a weekly basis.
Maybe their fights wouldn't be half as bad if she wasn't high so often, and he didn't drink so much at parties. The parties were a common weekend event, usually thrown in Brooklyn apartments by NYU students that Jess went to high school with - and often involving drugs Jughead had never even heard of before.
At least their makeup sex was good - it was almost worth arguing with her just to get the mind blowing sexual release afterwards.
Even with the downs in his new relationship, Jughead was happy with the way his life was going. He had a beautiful girlfriend, a great job that kept him busy, and he lived in New York City, a place crawling with literary opportunities.
He spent Thanksgiving with Jess that year. She bought them both turkey sandwiches, and they got drunk while watching crappy Halloween movies on YouTube. Jellybean was mad that he didn't come home, but FP seemed to realise that Adam Chisholm's presence in the Jones-Cooper-Smith residence wasn't exactly a big selling point.
He avoided Instagram for the entire month of November.
By mid December, Jess was asking Jughead serious questions, like where he thought their relationship was going (he didn't have an answer, which led to no less than three arguments and four sessions of 'making up'), and what his long term life goals were. Jughead came clean to her that he wanted nothing more than to be a writer - if only he could actually write something worth publishing.
"I think you're just lacking a little inspiration, baby." She told him one cold night. She pulled a bag out of their kitchen drawers, and waved between it her fingers. "Wanna come on a trip with me? It'll take the edge off…" she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Jughead frowned. Drugs were the only thing that he ever instigated arguments over, but no matter how many times he refused, she'd find ways to try and convince him that if he just tried them, he'd realise why she did them so often. He inspected the bag. "What even is that?"
"Maple Mushrooms." She opened the plastic bag and pulled out a little grey fungi. "You might actually like this; Johno had it brought up from Riverdale."
Jughead pursed his lips and accepted the mushroom. It felt slimy and rubbery, and looked more toxic than Dean's bizarre views on interracial marriage…
"I'm telling you, bro. Half my dad's problems wouldn't exist if he wasn't shacked up with a white lady. No offence, my snow-white friend. But some people just shouldn't mix." Dean had said once while he was getting baked in their dorm 'to get in the zone' before their final exams.
Jughead had raised his eyebrows. "Isn't that your Mom you're talking about?"
Dean had merely shaken his head. "Further proof that I know what I'm saying. Take it from the life-long expert: pretty white girls with blonde hair are nothing but trouble."
Jughead didn't have it in him to argue with that particular point…
Jess pushed Jughead down into a kitchen chair and straddled his lap. "Come on baby, just one trip." She pleaded. "If it doesn't get those creative juices flowing, I'll never bug you again. You liked it last time…"
Last time had actually been their very first hook up, and the drug in question had been cocaine. Jughead had been too drunk to really remember how it had even affected him, let alone remember their subsequent sexual escapade. Even so, he found himself slowly lifting the Maple Mushroom up to his mouth…
His mushroom trip possibly made him see new colours and taste sounds, and Jess's chocolate brown eyes turned shining emerald green. There were snakes slithering along their apartment floor, and rushing rivers running down the walls.
… when he awoke the next morning he made his way to his desk, and sitting beside the typewriter were six chapters of a book apparently called 'The Outcasts'.
He finished the whole novel by Christmas.
He brought Jess home for the holidays. She approved of the movie posters taped around his basement bachelor pad and got on surprisingly well with Jellybean, who had all kinds of questions about New York. Chandler was walking unsteadily between the couch and the coffee table, much to Alice's delight, and said clear words like 'momma' and 'daddy', and mispronounced his siblings names: 'delly' for Jellybean, 'bars' for Charles and 'duggy' for Jughead.
Chandler could even clearly say "Adam". Jughead wasn't sure who was more displeased by this fact, himself or FP, who seemed happy to be polite to Betty's face about her boyfriend. But Jughead caught FP giving Adam disapproving looks when he thought nobody was paying attention.
On Christmas Day, the twins had far too much energy at Eight AM, but their enthusiasm was infectious - even to Jughead. He wasn't really into happy family holidays, but he had to admit he was glad to see Juniper, Dagwood, Chandler, and even Jellybean enjoying the day, basking in the glory of Christmas presents, and following through with Alice's declaration that this Christmas was going to be the best one ever.
The first clue that maybe Alice wasn't going to get her painstakingly wished for 'best' Christmas came when the woman in question had floated into the kitchen to begin preparing dinner. Jughead was so full of Christmas cookies he wasn't sure he'd even fit anything else in his stomach. Who am I kidding? Of course there's more room for Alice's cooking… He thought, and scooped Chandler up from the floor. The toddler squealed in happiness and waved around some discarded wrapping paper. He handed it to Jughead, who took it with a smirk on his face.
"Thanks, buddy." He said, and Chandler clapped his hands together. Most of the family was still crammed into the small sitting area - Polly was cautiously eyeing the twins as they played with the ornaments on the Christmas tree - and Jughead found himself wedged on the couch between Jess and Charles. His older brother had a calm and inquisitive look on his face as he watched Chandler retrieve the wrapping paper again, and tried to crawl up Jughead's arms.
Jellybean snapped a photo of them and posted it immediately to Instagram. "Cute brother vibes! Frothing it, to be honest."
"Is that the latest slang, JB? Frothing? Seriously, I thought 'fully sick' was bad enough, that makes it sound like you have rabies." Jughead grinned at his little sister, who stuck her tongue out at him like the mature seventeen year old she was.
There was a lot of talking, a lot of catching up, and Jughead was proud of himself for being able to ignore Charles and Adam while they talked animatedly about housing prices in Riverdale. Instead, he picked up the picture book entitled Don't Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus he'd bought for Chandler, and started quietly reading it to the toddler on the floor beside the Christmas Tree.
"That book is my favourite!" Dagwood announced and sat beside Jughead. "You have to answer the pigeon, Chandler!" He pointed to the little image of a wide-eyed pigeon. "See? When he says please let me drive the bus, you're meant to say: No Pigeon!"
Chandler giggled and reached out to push the pages around.
Jughead smiled as Juniper joined them on the floor and peered over Dagwood's shoulder. "Juggie, can you read it again from the start? Pretty pretty pleeeeeeease." She scooted closer to Dagwood. "Miss Tetra reads it to us all the time! It's the bestest book ever!"
Jughead couldn't refuse, and he was roped into reading the twins and Chandler the insane pigeon book no less than three times, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, and even corrected his voice to sound 'more like a pigeon' when requested by Dagwood.
"You're good at that."
Jughead paused his third retelling of the book and looked up at the soft voice of Betty Cooper. She stood hovering above the group of readers and smiled slightly.
"Thanks," Jughead said, his heart rate increasing with the sight of Betty's smile, "it's kind of a weird book, but a lot of literary critics seem to think the interactive qualities are good for young children. They're never too young to engage with reading."
Neither of them noticed that the other adults in the room were all staring at them.
"Miss Tetra said reading makes you smarter!" Juniper said, and reached out to take the book out of Jughead's hands. "I wanna be the pigeon this time. Daggy, you can say 'no pigeon' and I have to pretend to be mad at you."
Jughead cuddled Chandler closer, using the toddler as an emotional shield. Betty slowly crouched down and looked at the book's pages. "That's a… cool bird." She said, the faintest hint of amusement in her tone. "You know, Jug… you'd make a good teacher."
Jughead's eyebrows rose. "Me? In charge of the impressionable young minds?" He let out a laugh. "No way, that's a recipe for disaster."
Betty smiled over at him as Juniper started to point out the different words on the page. "I'm serious. You're… good with kids. And there's not enough male teachers out there for younger grades."
Jughead shrugged. "I think I've missed the mark on that educational adventure. You can't teach with an arts degree, unfortunately."
"No, but you could do a graduate teaching program at NYU." Betty sat down with her legs crossed on the floor. Her jeans rode up slightly, revealing her reindeer print socks. "It's only a year long. Then you could use your literary talents to inspire the next generation."
Jughead paused and actually took a moment to consider her words. He was used to them politely ignoring each other, and was surprised that Betty was taking an interest in his future endeavours. He'd never even thought of teaching before, but he couldn't disagree with her - there was something fun about reading with the twins and his baby brother that… sat well with him. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to fall back on if no publishing house would accept his novel…
Jellybean interrupted his train of thought. "I can't take this anymore." She said and abruptly stood up. "Hey Polly, is it too early to crack open that expensive looking Moscato Alice gave you?"
Polly's eyebrows rose. "It's not even Two PM. And you're seventeen." She said incredulously. She looked over at Betty, then her eyes flicked to Jughead and Chandler. "Actually, drinking sounds great right now. You want to grab a couple of glasses JB?"
"I'll join you." Said Charles, who wasted no time in rising up from the couch and following his sisters into the kitchen.
Jess gave Jughead her full attention. "Um… are they okay?" She asked, her face furrowed in confusion.
Jughead pursed his lips. "Yeah, do they not seem okay?"
Surprisingly, it was Adam who answered. "I must admit they seem… tense, don't you agree Betty?"
Betty jolted a little in surprise and faced her boyfriend. "Oh, I didn't notice…" She stood up and readjusted her ponytail. "Let's go for a walk outside, babe. I could use some fresh air."
"But it's freezing out there—"
"Even better!" She announced, and hurried to retrieve her coat from the rack beside the door.
Jughead put the awkward moment out of his mind for the next few hours, but by the time everyone was settled in to the dinner table he had to admit that there was a tense vibe among his family. Alice was hiding it the most, but even she was wired up and overdoing the holiday cheer.
Jellybean gave curt one-word responses to Jess' questions about her schooling and college plans. Jughead looked at his sister in confusion. She'd seemed happy, joyful, and even intrigued by their current family dynamics the last few days. He knew she found Adam boring, but she seemed to be getting along with Jess fine enough. Maybe her attitude was because of all the wine she'd shared with Polly…
And just maybe it was all the wine she'd shared with Polly that was to blame for the events that transpired after dessert.
"So how long have you guys been together?" Jess asked Betty when there was a lull in the conversation.
Jughead stared down at his pudding while Adam and Betty shared a smile. "Just over a year." Betty said quietly. "Did I tell you all that Adam was just offered a new management position with a corporate office in… where was it again?"
"Boston." Adam replied, and took a sip of his water. "It's a new company, but they're breaking into the housing market with a great reputation."
"Riveting stuff, I'm sure." Jellybean remarked. "Ouch!" She said loudly and shot FP a glare.
FP feigned nonchalance. "Foot slipped." He said, and quickly shovelled a scoop of pudding into his mouth. "This is great, Alice." He said around his bite of dessert.
"Thanks, honey. There's more in the kitchen if you want it." Alice said with a tense smile.
"You know, Jess was just offered a new job too." Jughead cut in without thinking. "It's an editing position at an online newspaper in Brooklyn. She'll be leading a team of… how many people again, baby?"
"Five." Jess said, and an annoyed look overtook her features. "But I wasn't going to take that job. The boss is an uptight idiot."
Before Jughead could respond, Betty interjected with: "You know, Adam also consults with a large bank in New Haven."
Adam looked between Betty and Jughead with a curious expression. "It's really not that big of a deal. I just run ideas by the manager…"
"Oh, that's cool. Well, Jess was top of our class at Iowa." Said Jughead, keeping his eyes on Betty. "She had straight A's in junior year."
Betty's expression was filled with well-contained fury. "That's great. Adam got straight A's through his whole degree. And he used to teach four classes at Yale."
"I was just the teacher's aid." Adam said weakly.
Jughead could feel his voice raising in frustration. "Jess writes four web articles a week."
"Adam has a masters degree in finance."
"Jess is planning to get her PhD in American Literature."
"Adam wants to open his own insurance company."
"Oh, fabulous. Well, Jess just helped me finish editing my novel."
"That's so great, Jughead!" FP said quickly, attempting to diffuse the rising tension at the dinner table. "What's your book about?"
"Oh you know, a small town with dark secrets. I was inspired by my own experiences in Riverdale." Jughead said calmly, trying to battle with his desire to argue with Betty.
But Betty wasn't done yet. "I can't wait to read it. Adam, weren't you just telling me you were planning to write a self-help book on saving money?"
"Oh and I'm sure that Adam's book will make the New York Times."
"Okay, okay." Jess said, her voice raising just in time to cut Betty off. "Not that I don't love this whole your partner is better than mine debate, but what's with all the tension between you two?"
Nobody answered immediately, but Betty eventually cleared her throat. "No tension, I'm just really proud of Adam's success."
"Ah… thanks, but I find myself in agreement with Jessica. You two seem really… angry with each other." Adam gave Jughead an apologetic look. "It's not my place to say anything, but if you both have something you need to work out then—"
"If it's not your place, then maybe you should stay out of it." Jughead retorted frostily.
"Don't talk to my boyfriend like that!" Betty practically shouted.
Jughead had a snarky response on this tip of his tongue, but then Jellybean cut in with her least sensitive remark yet. "They're being weird because they use to fuck in high school."
"JB!" FP said with a horrified, chastising look. Alice covered Chandler's ears.
"JB said a naughty word!" Juniper and Dagwood said simultaneously in a sing-song voice.
"You'll hear worse at school." Jellybean shot back, and put down her wine glass with wide eyes. "Sorry, Polly…"
"It's fine…" Polly said weakly, and brought her own wine back up to her lips. "This stuff is stronger than it tastes…"
"Fuck!" Chandler said proudly, looking up at Alice with a smile.
"Thanks for that, Jellybean." Alice said with a solemn defeat.
"Wait a minute." Jess said, her voice raising in disgust as she glared at Jughead. "The ex-girlfriend from Riverdale who broke your heart and cheated on you with your best friend was your sister?!"
"She what?!" Jellybean said, an angry and scandalised look on her face. "Jughead, you never told me that…"
Adam turned to Betty with a hurt look on his face. "You told me you were a virgin…"
FP cringed and covered his face with his hands.
Jellybean snorted and let out an unimpressed laugh. "My bedroom was next to theirs for two years. Trust me, that ship sailed long ago."
Betty's face flushed red with embarrassment. "You just assumed…" she said quietly, giving Adam a pleading look. "I didn't want you to feel bad…"
"Jesus Christ." Alice said, her face stunned. She stood up from her seat and lifted Chandler out of his high chair. "Elizabeth, Jughead, this conversation isn't appropriate for young ears."
"Fuck." Chandler said again, clapping his hands together happily. The twins both giggled until they saw the annoyed look on Polly's face.
Adam didn't take the news well. He left their Christmas party early and asked Betty for space to think. Polly offered to let Betty stay at her apartment for the night, and the rest of the family dispersed around the house, ending the day in a far less cheerful mood than they'd all begun.
Jess took the news even worse.
"Why the hell did you even bring me here?" She whispered angrily.
They stood facing each other in Jughead's room. Jughead's shoulders heaved up and down with each strangled breath he took, and Jess eye's resembled molten fury.
"I wanted you to meet my family?" Jughead said, feeling affronted. "You're important to me, Jess. And so are they."
"Your family?!" Jess furiously shook her head and took a step back. "When your family includes the sister you used to sleep with, you're meant to give your girlfriend a heads up!"
"Okay, that's where I messed up." Jughead agreed, his heart thumping with panic.
"You think?" Jess' voice was getting louder. "You led me in here completely blind. While I'm trying to get to know the people in your mysterious past, you're out there making eyes at your sister!"
"She's my step-sister." Jughead retorted. "And I haven't been making eyes at her. Me and Betty… we're way over. Come on, we have a baby brother now. Things are different to what they were when we were kids."
"That's bullshit, Jones." Jess ran her hands over her hair. "I've been trying to work out what made you hate Betty's boyfriend so much, and I can't believe I missed it! You're jealous of him."
"What?!" Jughead laughed in spite of himself. "He's a stuck up rich wanker, I'm not jealous of him."
"You are!" She practically growled. "You're jealous, you're practically bursting with jealousy because he's screwing your ex! You wish you were him, because you're still in love with her!"
Jughead's insides froze like Sweetwater River. "You're wrong."
"Am I?" Jess' was incredulous. "Tell me the truth about your novel. Jordan bears a striking resemblance to you. It's obvious you're inserting yourself into the story. But Bella, his teen love interest, the childhood best friend he shares his erotic sexual awakening with - is she supposed to be based on Betty?"
Jughead paused just a little too long. "No."
"You're so full of shit!" Jess stormed towards her suitcase. "Your story ends with a bittersweet wish that they'd see each other again. That their lives would cross paths in the future and they'd be together. That they were made for each other, and one day time would bring them back into each other's arms." She shoved one of her shirts into the suitcase and angrily turned to face him. "Is that what you're hoping will happen to you? That by some 'magical' twist of fate Betty will come back to you?"
Jughead said nothing.
"Fuck you." Jesse' voice broke. She zipped up her suitcase and dragged it towards the stairs. "I'm done. I'm out. You can keep lying to yourself all you want, but I'm not putting up with it. We're finished, Jones. You stay here with your wanna-be functional family, and I'll get my stuff out of our apartment and go stay with Hayley." She turned around one last time to give him a furious look. "Good luck with your book, it's the only thing you care about anyway!"
Jughead watched her leave. I should stop her, he thought. It wasn't their first fight, maybe it wouldn't be their last…
But instead, he waited for the sound of the front door slamming as she left.