Joker felt the air exit his lungs as he hit the ground hard, flat on his back. He rolled back to his feet, but he was at his limit, slumping back to his knees immediately. He looked up, his teeth gritted against the pain that enveloped him, glaring at the being responsible for that pain. This was supposed to be a routine training trip into Mementos, but this creature didn't belong here. This was no shadow.
Joker could see his team scattered around the battlefield. He wasn't sure how many of them were conscious. He wouldn't let himself wonder if they were alive. Of them, only Queen, Makoto Niijima, was still struggling. Desperately struggling to break free as the creature, which called itself Goldar, held her off of the ground by her throat.
"These are the Phantom Thieves!?" Goldar shouted, sounding bemused, "disappointing!" he judged throwing Queen against a wall, causing her to slump to the ground. "I suppose this is what I get for expecting a challenge from children!"
Joker exerted all the strength he had left to rise to his feet. "Persona!" he shouted as his trusted companion, Arsene, appeared behind him.
"We haven't lost yet!" he declared as he faced his foe.
As Joker prepared for battle, the Phantom Thief Oracle, Futaba Sakura, desperately analyzed Goldar for any weakness, her fingers flying across her keyboard faster then ever before, but to no avail. She couldn't find anything.
"What do we do!?" she cried in desperation, "at this rate… we won't make it!" In her desperation, she slammed her fist against her keyboard. Hanging her head, she didn't even notice as her screen flashed several times.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Valeria and Isara were working in Valeria's lab when an alert blared from Valeria's computer.
"What is that?" Isara asked as Valeria slid into her chair to check the pop up message.
"It's a distress signal!" she realized.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
The blaring monitor in the command center was impossible to miss, and Alpha 5 quickly reached it, inspecting the message they had received.
"Aye Yi Yi Yi!" he shouted when he saw it, "Zordon! It's a distress signal!"
"From where, Alpha!?" Zordon inquired, appearing in his containment tube.
"If I'm reading this right, it's coming from another dimension!"
"Even so, we can't ignore those in peril. Summon the Rangers, quickly!"
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Futaba had no idea what the flashes on her screen meant when she finally composed herself enough to notice them. "What… what's going on?"
"You will fall here, before me, Phantom Thief!" Goldar shouted arrogantly. Before Joker could attack his foe, two pink orbs of light appeared between them, the two pink orbs grew to human size then vanished in a flash of light, leaving Colonels Vine and Roy Mustang standing between Joker and Goldar.
"How do we keep drawing the short straw on these recon missions?" Vine sighed in annoyance.
"Probably because out of the entire team, we're the only ones with a clue how to be subtle," Mustang sighed in response. Both alchemists eyes locked onto Goldar.
"A monkey in gold armor? I swear, every time I think I've seen everything, something decides I need to be challenged on that," Vine commented about the creature before them.
"At least finding the enemy was easy," Mustang admitted.
"You sure? I mean, we have a giant, talking skeleton on our team."
"And the only reason that skeleton isn't a threat is because we have two Super Saiyan Gods," Mustang replied as a reminder.
"Fair point," Vine admitted.
"Hahaha! Is this your cavalry, Phantom Thief?" Goldar demanded, "I'm not impressed!"
"Who… are you?" Joker asked, attracting Vine and Mustang's attention.
"Introductions can wait. We're responding to your S.O.S." Vine admitted quickly.
"S.O.S.?" Joker repeated.
Vine quickly analyzed the downed Phantom Thieves. "These kids're still breathing, but they're pretty beat up. Guess these'll come in handy after all," he admitted, pulling a bag out of his cloak and tossing it to Joker, "give one of those Senzu Beans to each of your friends. Better eat one yourself. You look pretty beat up yourself."
Joker was hesitant at first, but ultimately decided trusting this stranger couldn't make his situation much worse. Reluctantly, he pulled a bean from the bag and popped it in his mouth. To his astonishment, as soon as he had chewed and swallowed the bean, his pain and fatigue vanished as his body was healed.
"What…?" he began to ask, but stopped himself. Questions could wait. His team needed these beans now.
"Should we call for help?" Mustang asked.
"What? You don't think we can handle this guy without bothering the others?" Vine replied.
"Let's see what he's got," Mustang ordered, pulling on his Flame Alchemy gloves.
"Alright, bring it on, I guess," Vine challenged, pulling his own alchemy gloves on. Holding out his hand, he transmuted a skillfully crafted iron spear from the ground, grabbing it at the center of its handle, skillfully twirling it, before shifting into a defensive stance, ready for a fight.
"Oh, I'll bring it on, alright! You two don't stand a chance against me!" Goldar shouted. The battle was interrupted before it even began, however, when a red colored portal opened alongside Vine and Mustang.
"Huh? Are we expecting anyone else?" Mustang asked, prompting his comrade to shrug his shoulders uncertainly. Before any other questions could be asked, a young man jumped out of the portal which closed behind him. He had short brown hair, a lean but muscular build, and wore a red t-shirt and blue jeans.
"Uhhh oh! It's… this guy," Vine joked, observing the newcomer.
"What! How did you follow me, Jason!" Goldar shouted in disbelief.
"Jason! That's it!" Vine continued.
"He's not one of our teammates," Mustang revealed.
"Oh thank goodness. With all the newcomers lately, I was genuinely worried I'd forgotten someone."
"Are you guys the ones who called for our help?" Jason asked.
"Nope," Vine replied, "we answered the distress signal too. They made the call," he admitted, pointing to Joker who had just finished giving the Senzu Beans to his team and was now bringing them to join the three responders to their call for help.
"I see, well I don't need to ask what the source of the trouble is," Jason admitted, turning to Goldar.
"Oh, was it that obvious!?" Goldar asked mockingly, "I was going to destroy the Phantom Thieves, but now, I'll destroy the rest of you while I'm at it!"
"He knows he's outnumbered 11 to one, right?" Vine asked.
"I think you need to reassess your odds!" Goldar shouted when, as if they had just blinked into existence, three dozen or so grey skinned foot soldiers appeared around Goldar, facing the heroes.
"Whoa! What the hell are these guys!?" Ryuji shouted as the foot soldiers began to encroach on them.
"There're so many of them!" Ann cried in dismay, "what do we do!?"
"We probably oughta call in that back up now," Vine admitted.
"I think you're the one who needs to reassess his odds, Goldar," Jason declared smiling.
"Oh? And why's that!? Do you think these children I already defeated once are going to improve your chances!?" Goldar shouted, referring to the Phantom Thieves. Joker clenched his teeth, angered by Goldar's dismissal of his team, though there was no denying how easily he had walked through them.
"We'll just have to call in the cavalry!" Vine declared.
Simultaneously, 4 orbs of pink light appeared behind Mustang and Vine as five portals opened behind Jason, one pink, yellow, black, blue, and green. The orbs grew to human size, then flashed and vanished, leaving Erza Scarlet, Yang Xiao Long, Mami Tomoe, and Nepgear standing behind the Alchemist Colonels.
At the same time, Jason's five comrades, Kimberly, Trini, Zack, Billy, and Tommy, leapt through their corresponding portal, landing behind their leader.
"It's over, Goldar!" Tommy declared.
"We're here to kick your butt!" Zack promised.
"Ready guys!" Jason shouted as the six reached behind them and grabbed their Morphers, holding them out in front of themselves, "IT'S MORPHIN TIME!"
"DRAGONZORD!"
"MASTODON!"
"PTERODACTYL!"
"TRICERATOPS!"
"SABER TOOTH TIGER!"
"TYRANNOSAURUS!"
The six youth were engulfed in a flash of light from which they emerged, Morphed into the heroic Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
"Rangers Together!" Jason shouted.
"DEFENDERS FOREVER!" the other five finished.
"Huh, what does it say about me when that doesn't even break the top ten for weirdest things I've ever seen?" Vine asked aloud.
"That was so cool!" Nepgear declared enthusiastically, "we need cool battle costumes like that!"
"Knock yourself out," Mustang replied, "but leave me out of it."
"Agreed," Yang sighed.
"Ahh, you guys are no fun!" Nepgear protested.
"Focus children. You can argue the merits of brightly colored spandex when we don't have a fight to win," Vine ordered his companions. He turned his focus back to the Phantom Thieves. "Can you guys fight?"
"Hell yeah! We owe this guy some payback!" Ryuji shouted forcefully.
"Watch it, Skull," Morgana ordered cautiously, "this guy already gave us a rough time. We can't drop our guard."
"Leave Goldar to us," Kimberly instructed the Phantoms, "you can help with the putties!"
"Putties?" Joker repeated.
"Who calls their foot soldiers putties?" Vine asked, bemused by the name.
"That would be Rita Repulsa," Billy revealed.
"Her name is Rita Repulsa?" Vine asked, "guessing they haven't invented subtlety wherever she's from."
"You dare insult Empress Rita!?" Goldar roared angrily, "DESTROY THEM!" he ordered as the putties charged.
"Take 'em down, guys!" Jason ordered as the Rangers charged to meet their foes.
"Huh, he definitely seems like a 'take charge' kinda guy, huh?" Futaba remarked.
"Let's put this putty back in the dirt!" Vine ordered, as the Alliance heroes charged.
"Can see how that guy wouldn't notice though. Also, if that was supposed to be a joke then BOOOO!"
"Let's get in there, Joker!" Makoto suggested. Joker nodded in agreement. Launching his wrist mounted grappling hook at the ceiling so it wrapped around a pipe, the Phantom Thief leader let the wire drag him high above the advancing putties before he retracted the line and began to fall towards them.
"THOR!" he shouted as a Persona appeared behind him. Empowered by his Persona, Joker landed on a putty, crushing it into the ground and releasing a surge of electricity that fried those around it! The nearest putties left standing began to converge on Joker, but stopped when Tommy leapt over their heads, landing back to back with Joker.
"Let's take these guys!" Tommy offered, brandishing his Dragon Dagger!
"Fine with me!" Joker replied, brandishing his own dagger. The putties recommenced their charge, but found no success against the defenses of the Green Ranger and the Phantom Thief leader.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Two spears and a katana sliced down putties by the dozen as Vine, the Blue Ranger, Billy, and Yusuke of the Phantom Thieves formed a deadly circle the putties simply couldn't break through.
"Even with a numbers advantage, these things aren't much of a threat," Vine admitted cracking a putty's skull with the shaft of his spear, spinning it, and skewering the putty with its head, causing it to vanish into a cloud of black smoke.
"That's putties in a nutshell," Billy admitted, "still, who knows how much trouble they'll cause if we don't take 'em down."
"Then we should do just that! Come, Goemon!" Yusuke shouted as his Persona appeared, unleashing a wave of freezing wind that turned a dozen or so putties in front of him into solid ice!
"Morphenominal!" Billy exclaimed as the putties shattered and vanished.
"Morphenominal?" Vine and Yusuke both repeated curiously.
"Yeah. Morphin, like 'Might MORPHIN Power Rangers' and phenomenal. Morphenominal!"
"I see. An artistic combination of words used to create a truly unique celebration," Yusuke mused.
"Starting to think your both a little on the unique side," Vine sighed, breaking his spear in half and transmuting it into a pair of twin longswords, "that said though, I think it's time for a 'Morphenominal' beat down."
/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Carmen!" Anne shouted, using her Persona to burn away a group of putties that had gathered around her.
"Power Bow!" Kimberly called, firing several arrows to down another group. A few encroached on the girls, but were immediately made to regret it as powerful blows from Yang dealt with them.
"No way we'll lose to these guys!" Anne declared firmly, standing back to back with the Pink Ranger.
A putty managed to land a punch to Yang's cheek, but was knocked away by a bone shattering, back handed counterattack. Two more swiped at her, but backflipping away from their attack was an effortless feat for the young huntress.
"You guys'll have to do a lot better… then… that," she began to taunt, her voice trailing off as a cut length of blonde hair floated past her. A flame like aura erupted from her as her eyes turned blood red. She punched the palm of her hand as she strode towards the now trembling putties. With a roar, Yang punched the ground, breaking up the earth between her fist and the putties, launching them towards her like a catapult. Her fists simultaneously collided with the putties skulls as she fired off the shotguns mounted in her Ember Celica, causing the putties to instantly burst into black smoke.
"Come on! Bring it on!" she shouted angrily, glaring at putties who began frantically trying to distance themselves from the hot tempered blonde.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Mustang's flames set several putties ablaze and left a dozen small fires burning in front of another group of the foes.
"ZORRO!" Morgana shouted as his Persona appeared, unleashing a powerful burst of wind towards the putties. The winds caught the flames, erupting them into a blazing inferno. The putties were unable to escape the blaze that washed over them, burning them to ash.
"Yeah! To hot to handle!" Morgana shouted excitedly as behind them, Haru and the Black Ranger, Zack, struck down putties with their axes.
"There're still so many of them!" Haru exclaimed as Morgana hopped onto her shoulder then sprung into the air.
"Let's show 'em our teamwork, Noir!" Morgana ordered transforming into a black van, roadkilling two putties that were to slow to get out from under him.
"I'm with you, Mona-Chan!" Haru shouted, jumping onto the new Morgana-mobile's roof, swapping her axe for a grenade launcher. As Morgana drove through the swarm of putties, Haru opened fire, pelting the enemies with explosives.
"Did that cat just turn into a car?" Zack asked, dispatching a putty with his Power Axe.
"To normal people, that might actually seem odd," Mustang sighed, roasting more putties with his flames. He couldn't believe that he missed the days when a Homunculus was the strangest thing he could expect to encounter.
Haru leapt off Morgana's roof and fired a final shot just as Morgana plowed into another putty. Unfortunately, that was the exact putty Haru had fired at. The resulting explosion launched Morgana into the air as he turned back to normal and crashed to the ground, landing flat on his face as he began groaning. "Why does that always end up happening to me?" he moaned as Haru knelt beside him, obviously panicking as she lifted him up.
"Mona-chan! I'm so sorry!" she apologized.
"Looks like their timings a bit off on that last attack," Zack commented.
"Looks that way," Mustang sighed.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Nepgear let out the most ferocious roar she could manage as she cut down a putty with her beam saber. "How was that?" she asked Mami who was blowing away putties like a gun toting ballerina, gracefully twirling and spinning while landing every shot with deadly accuracy.
"Sorry, Nepgear, but it's still more cute then intimidating," Mami reluctantly admitted, gunning down two more putties.
"Ah darn it," Nepgear sighed, "what am I doing wrong?"
An explosion obliterated the putties behind Nepgear, shaking the CPU candidate violently!
"Wha… what the goodness!?" she cried out as Makoto leapt out of the smoke from the explosion, landing in front of Nepgear.
"Stay focused," she ordered, giving Nepgear a glare that made the CPU Candidate freeze to the spot.
"Eep! I'm sorry ma'am!" Nepgear yelped fearfully. Mami and the Yellow Ranger, Trini, jumped back to where Nepgear and Makoto stood, facing the putties surrounding them on all sides.
"Is everyone alright?" Trini asked.
"Yeah," Makoto replied, "there're a lot of them, but these guys aren't so tough.
"Let's mop them up so we can get to the real threat," Mami ordered.
"Sounds good to me," Trini replied, "let's go!"
/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Tyrannosaurus!" Jason shouted, attacking several putties with his Power Sword! Erza, clad in her Clear Heart and wielding a duo of katanas cut down one putty after another.
"Let's go, Captain Kidd!" Ryuji roared jumping over a group of putties, preparing to swing his massive mace down onto one of the putties. Electricity began to emit from the mace, releasing when it struck and zapping the nearby putties, frying them.
"Requip!" Erza shouted as she jumped into the air, requiping into her Heaven's Wheel Armor. She conjured a dozen swords above her and launched them into the group of putties, skewering one putty per sword.
"Whoa! Badass!" Ryuji exclaimed, watching Erza and Jason continue their overwhelming assault on the putties around them. Putties came at him from behind, but he bashed the closest one over the skull with his mace before it could attack!
"Let's finish these guys off!" Jason ordered.
"With pleasure!" Erza shouted back, switching to her normal armor, wielding two dual-edged swords as she and Jason both struck out at the putties, cutting them down one putty after another in a stunning display of swordsmanship.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
The putties, though numerous, were no match against the combined might of the heroes. Goldar laughed with amusement as Jason, Vine, and Joker cut down the final remaining putties, leaving Goldar alone to face the heroes.
"Give it up, Goldar!" Jason ordered, "you can't beat all of us!"
"We'll see about that, Red Ranger!" Goldar roared. Before everyone's eyes and to their surprise, a cloud of smoke surrounded Goldar before growing to the size of a building. As quickly as it appeared, the smoke vanished, revealing a building sized, giant Goldar staring down on the heroes.
"What the goodness!" Nepgear exclaimed.
"Well," Vine sighed, "our problem just got a lot… bigger."
"Who cares! The bigger they are, the harder they fall, right!?" Ryuji shouted enthusiastically.
"We'll even the odds with Dinozord power!" Jason exclaimed. Five portals corresponding to the Rangers colors appeared from the sky, dropping onto the battlefield the five dinozords, a Red Tyrannosaurus, black Mastodon, pink Pterodactyl, yellow Saber Tooth Tiger, and blue Triceratops. As the Rangers leapt to the cockpits of their respective Zord, the five united together, forming the Megazord that stood as tall as Goldar!
"Whoa! We have a giant robot!" Futaba shouted excitedly.
"We have a giant robot too!" Nepgear shouted proudly.
"We do?" Vine questioned. This was news to him.
"That's right! Isara, Franky, and I have been building it together! It's not finished yet though," the CPU Candidate revealed, sounding so proud of having contributed nothing to solve the problem that Yang couldn't suppress the urge to thump her rather roughly on the back of the head, drawing a pained "ouch" followed by an apologetic "sorry".
"Either way," Vine sighed, "Teresa, we need the big gun! Now!"
A small, silver orb appeared beside the heroes and grew to a massive size before flashing away, leaving what looked like a giant ray gun in its place.
"What the hell is this?" Mustang asked.
"Oh! It's the gun for our giant robot!" Nepgear revealed.
"Does it work?" Vine asked.
"Yep, it's fully functional," Nepgear declared proudly, "we just need to load it."
"Load it with what?" Yang asked.
"The gun concentrates the combined power of 100 gallons of cola to fire a single, massive beam powerful enough to stop any foe in its tracks!" Nepgear revealed enthusiastically.
"So, even if we had something that could fire it…" Erza began.
"We'd need to fill it with 100 gallons of cola just to take a shot?" Vine growled, his annoyance apparent in his voice.
"Want me to hit her again?" Yang asked, holding her fist above Nepgear's head.
"P-please don't!"
"Teresa! I meant send Goku!" Vine shouted angrily. A silver orb appeared right in front of him and flashed, leaving a letter Vine caught and quickly scanned. "What do you mean Goku isn't there!"
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Goku let out a loud sneeze as he sat in Ichiraku's ramen shop with Naruto and Luffy.
"Hey, you're not catching a cold are you?" Naruto asked.
"If you are, guess I'm gonna have to eat your ramen for ya!" Luffy shouted happily!
"What!? No way! I'm fine, really!" Goku shouted in dismay.
"Here you go boys," Ichiraku said as he placed a bowl of ramen in front of each of the three.
"Alright, let's eat!" Goku shouted excitedly.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Vine crumpled the note and threw it, accidentally hitting Ryuji in the side of the head.
"Guessing that was bad news," Ryuji observed.
"What gave you that idea?" Morgana asked sarcastically.
"Can we make 100 gallons of cola with alchemy?" Mami asked.
"We'd need ingredients, and I don't know where we'd get them here," Vine replied.
"Plan B then," Mustang declared, turning to Vine, "we'll use Raging Blast as the ammunition."
"Damn it, I was afraid you were going to say that," Vine cursed, "I can deal with the transmutation circles, but something's going to have to aim the gun."
"I can help with that," Tommy declared approaching the group, Dragon Dagger in hand.
"Alright," Vine nodded, "you'll need to keep Goldar busy while we line up the shot," he ordered the others. Phantom Thieves and Alliance heroes alike all nodded their heads in agreement.
Meanwhile, the Megazord, Power Sword in hand, was locked in battle against Giant Goldar. Both sides were evenly matched, each unable to gain ground on the other.
"You'll have to do better then that, Rangers!" Goldar taunted when the two broke away from their struggle.
"Don't forget, they aren't your only opponents!" a voice called out. Joker calmly strode towards Goldar, his hands in the pockets of his trench coat.
"You think you mean anything?" Goldar demanded, "I already bested you and your Phantom Thieves!"
"Yeah, well we aren't going to let ya off so easy this time!" Ryuji promised as he ran towards Goldar from one side, accompanied by Morgana and Haru.
"Prepare yourself! The Phantom Thieves will not allow evil like yours to go unchallenged!" Yusuke swore as he approached from the opposite side along with Makoto and Anne.
"Besides," Mustang said as he and his team joined Joker, "they're not the only ones you have to deal with."
Vine placed his hands on the gun while alchemical energy surged from his gloves and over the weapon.
"I'll just need a minute to get this ready," he revealed as the energy crawling over the gun carved numerous transmutation circles into its surface.
"I'm ready when you are," the Green Ranger promised, putting the Dragon Dagger to the mouth of his helmet and playing a tune with it. A giant green portal opened behind him and the Dragonzord lumbered out of it.
Lightning from both Thor and Captain Kidd struck Goldar, but left no visible damage on the hulking monstrosity.
"Power up!" Nepgear shouted activating HyperDrive Divinity and transforming into her CPU form!
"REQUIP!" Erza shouted, shifting to her Black Wing Armor. The two heroines took flight, slicing at Goldar's head with their blades and inflicting small wounds on opposite sides of the monsters face.
Goldar began to raise his hands to strike the two women who had cut him, but was distracted when a barrage of gunfire struck him center mass. Ann and Makoto were both firing every round they had into Goldar's torso while Yang unleashed a barrage of fire from Ember Celica and Mami conjured and fired a round into Goldar from one rifle after another.
"Annoying little pests!" Goldar shouted moments before he was engulfed in an inferno!
"If you think your size is any kind of advantage against me, you're very mistaken!" Mustang declared, unleashing a merciless barrage of flame on his oversized foe. Goldar emerged from the flames, charred and angry, only to be immediately blinded when a grenade from Haru's launcher slammed into his head, covering it in light colored smoke.
Joker saw his chance and launched his grappling hook, latching it to a pipe sticking out from the walls of mementos and launching himself skyward. As the smoke cleared, Joker landed on Goldar's shoulder. The giant glared angrily.
"What is a little worm like you hoping to accomplish?" Goldar taunted. Joker couldn't stop a slightly smug smile from crossing his lips as he aimed his pistol at Goldar's left eye.
"Heh, you'll never see it coming," he declared as he pulled the trigger. Goldar roared with fury and pain as the bullet struck his eye. Joker leapt from his shoulder before he could retaliate, firing a second shot before one of Mami's yellow ribbons swung past him, allowing him to catch it and swing to safety. The second round struck Goldar's right eye, blinding the brute as a haymaker from the Megazord struck the side of his head, disorienting him.
/\/\/\/\/\/\
Vine doubted Goldar was permanently blinded by Joker's bullets, but the temporary blindness combined with disorientation caused by the Megazord's blow left the giant stunned. As he stood atop the gun clasped firmly in the Dragonzord's grip, he saw his chance!
"Now or never!" Tommy declared as Vine placed his hand on the top of the gun.
"Checkmate," the Raging Blast Alchemist declared, using the gun as a catalyst to fire off a powerful alchemy blast at Goldar. It hit home, striking the disoriented giant square in the chest and knocking him flat onto his back. Smoke and dust engulfed Goldar upon impact, clearing to reveal Goldar shrunk down to his normal size and badly injured!
"You'll pay for this, Rangers!" he shouted angrily as he teleported away.
"Nice shot!" Tommy congratulated.
"Glad it did the job," Vine admitted, dropping to his knees and gasping for breath, "not sure I had another one in me."
"We made it, somehow," Makoto sighed visibly exhausted, as were the other Phantom Thieves. All except one, at least.
"THAT WAS AMAZING!" Futaba shouted, "IT WAS LIKE A REAL LIVE EPISODE OF FEATHERMAN! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!"
"Glad someone had fun," Vine sighed, lying down on his stomach, "Imma take a nap now. Good night."