Fragile World

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these delightful characters, that honor belongs to Cassandra Clare. I have mostly followed the events of the show except for Simon's becoming a Vampire. For this story, I wanted Raphael to be his sire, so I followed the books version of his turning.

Chapter 2

Simon groaned as he rolled onto his side. He felt like his body weighed a thousand pounds. Everything hurt. With great effort, he raised himself up on one elbow and tried to will the rest of his body to move into a seated position. It took several moments, but he finally managed to get his body upright, and he blinked groggily at his surroundings. 'Where am I?" he though hazily. His eyes swept over the plush red sofa he was sitting on, down to the pillow and blanket he had pushed away when he sat up and finally settled on the tiny ball of fur curled up on the coffee table in front of him. The cat cracked one eye open to look at him before mewing and going back to sleep. Simon jerked his head up when he heard a noise from behind him and his eyes widened a bit when Alec came through the doorway from, what he could only assume was, the kitchen. Simon wracked his brain for details of last night. Everything was a bit hazy still and he shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and recall the details he was looking for.

"Morning," muttered Alec into his coffee cup as he saw Simon sitting up and looking at him.

"Um….h…hi" Simon stuttered awkwardly. "Uh…. what am I doing here?" He asked softly.

Alec raised an eyebrow quizzically. "You don't remember?" he asked.

"Everything from last night is a bit…. fuzzy," mumbled the vampire averting his gaze.

"I guess it's not surprising. You were really upset last night," the archer conceded. "Can I get you anything? I went to Taki's to pick up some blood last night, but you were asleep by the time I came back. I can warm some up for you if you're hungry?" he offered.

Blood…'Oh God'thought Simon asthe memory came crashing back with all the force of an 18-wheeler truck speeding down the highway straight for him. Blood….so much blood…. his mom and sister… their bodies lying lifeless in their living room… the wall splattered with blood…the metallic tang as the smell hit his nostrils… his families faces frozen in terror staring up at him….

Simon lurched to his feet and sprinted down the hall, throwing the bathroom door open and falling to his knees as his stomach clenched painfully trying to rid his body of anything that might be in his stomach. His chest heaved and tears leaked out of the corner of his eyes as he clenched them shut tightly. He jumped when he felt a cool hand on his forehead, holding his hair back and another hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision as he looked up at Alec. The other boy must have followed him to the bathroom when he bolted down the hall. He didn't say anything, and Simon was grateful for that. He just knelt next to him on the cool tile floor and held his hair back while he continued to dry heave into the toilet bowl. They staid like that for several minutes and eventually Simon got his stomach under control. He sat back on his heels taking deep, unnecessary breaths.

"Sorry," he mumbled avoiding Alec's gaze.

"You don't have to be sorry," he replied, rising to his feet and offering Simon a hand up. The vampire took it and was hauled to his feet easily. He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and looked down at his feet. A minute later, he heard the tap turn on and a glass of water came into his field of vision. Simon glanced up and took the glass. He raised it to his lips, taking a small sip and swished the cool liquid around his mouth before moving to the sink to spit it out. He repeated the process once more and set the glass down on the counter. Leaning heavily over the sink, he closed his eyes tightly and willed his nausea away.

"I'll give you a minute," Alec said softly and then he heard the door shut softly as the other boy left him alone to gather his thoughts.

Simon sank to the floor, back pressed against the sink as he pressed his palms into his eyes. His mom and Becky were gone. Like really gone. He would never see them again. Never hear his sister's awful Dracula impersonation as she made fun of him. He would never know if his mom would have eventually come to accept him because now the opportunity had been taken from him. He clawed at his chest and thumped his head against the sink as he tried to get himself under control. The pain of his nails breaking the sensitive skin above his heart brought him back and grounded him slightly. He concentrated on the dull ache, and after a moment, slowly got himself on his feet. He splashed some cold water on his face and made his way back out into the hallway and toward the living room.

By the time he made it back to the couch, Magnus had joined Alec and the two were softly talking at the table that sat in front of the glass double doors that led out to a spacious balcony. They both looked up when he entered, and Magnus motioned him over to join them, indicating that he should sit next to him. On the table in front of the seat Magnus has indicated, sat a coffee mug with "glitter is my favorite color" written across it in bright, glittering rainbow letters. Simon sat quietly, not looking at either of the apartment's occupants, choosing to instead look out the glass doors in front of him to the light dusting of snow that was coming down outside.

"You should drink that before it gets cold," Magnus said, indicating the mug. Simon sighed, but took the mug in both hands, letting the warmth seep into his fingers for a moment. He raised the mug and took a slow sip, not trusting his stomach to keep the contents down once swallowed. He waited, and once he was sure it would stay down, took another, slightly larger, sip before setting the mug down again.

"I'm sorry to be such a bother," he said miserably. "I won's stay long, I just…I didn't know where else to go."

"Don't be ridiculous!" exclaimed the warlock. "You will stay here until I know you are ok and can take care of yourself. I've already made up the guest room. It's yours for as long as you need it."

"But…I can't put you out like that," Simon argued.

"You can and you will," Alec said firmly. "Listen Simon, I know we haven't necessarily been friends, and I wish I had tried harder to stay in touch when you left, but I'm not really good at all the touchy-feely stuff. But you need a place to stay, we have one, and we want to help you in whatever capacity you will let us. Besides, Magnus needs someone other than me to mother over," the other boy joked as Magnus smacked his arm in mock indignation.

Simon just stared at them. On one hand, it would be nice to have a place to stay. He had given up staying in the boat house after everything with Clary because he couldn't face Luke. He'd left when the pack had been out patrolling and taken a backpack with some clothes and his guitar. He had stashed them in an abandoned building not far from his mother's house. On the other hand, he had been on his own for quite a bit now and being around others wasn't something he was used to. The most interaction he had with anyone was the lady at Taki's when he went and picked up food, which wasn't very often. He supposed he could give it a try. What's the worst that could happen? If it didn't work out, he could always just leave again.

"Um…ok, I guess," he said after a pause.

"Excellent!" exclaimed Magnus, clapping his hand together. "Finish your breakfast and I will show you your new room!"

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Simon sighed as he flopped face first onto the bed. Magnus was a hyperactive ball of energy! He had wasted no time showing Simon to his new room and demanding that he do whatever he wanted to it as far as decorate way they were and get out of his room. Magnus had laughed and skipped from the room blue sparks dancing from his fingertips.

"What have I gotten myself into," he groaned into the pillow. The bed was easily the most comfortable thing he had ever been on in quite possibly his entire life. Magnus obviously spared no expense in any part of his life including his guest room. The comforter on the bed was a deep purple velvet and the sheets a complimenting shade of lavender obviously a very high thread count if the silky feel of them was anything to go by.

Simon let his eyes roam around the room as he rolled over and sat up. Besides the large bed, there were several bookcases, full of books in several different languages, a desk, a comfortable looking upholstered chair with matching ottoman in the corner and a nightstand on either side of the bed with ornate lamps set upon them. It was nice, way nicer than he deserved. It reminded him a bit of the room he had been given during his brief stay at the Dumort. He felt a pang at the thought, and he clenched his eyes shut briefly to ward away the burn behind his eyes. He would not break down again. He would not let it get to him. He was stronger than this, he could do this.

"Who are you kidding Lewis," he huffed at himself. For the first time in weeks, he truly craved the physical comfort of the clan. When he was at the hotel, there was no shortage of Vampires that could offer him the comfort that he, as a fledgling, needed and craved. It was not unusual for him to be found sitting on the couch with Stan's arm draped over his shoulder endearingly while they argued about some movie or comic book or to have Lily walk up to him and just give him a hug out of the blue or for Raphael to ruffle his hair before tucking a stray strand behind his ear. He had thought he was getting used to the lack of contact, but obviously his breakdown last night and the comfort Magnus had offered had reawaked his need for such contact. He sat there for several minutes, having an internal debate with himself, and then finally decided to seek the warlock out. I mean, he had already ruined one of the other man's shirts by crying all over him. What's the worst that could happen? He couldn't possibly embarrass himself further by asking if he could sit with the man, could he?

Simon opened the door and walked down the small hallway back toward the living room, following the sounds of the television. Alec was sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table and a small ball of fur curled in his lap. He looked perplexed as he watched what appeared to be an episode of Big Bang Theory. Magnus was nowhere in sight. Simon cleared his throat, letting the other boy know he was there.

"Hey Alec, um, where's Magnus?" the vampire asked softly.

"He had to go out to meet with a client. He'll be a little bit, but said he'd pick dinner up on his way home this evening."

"Oh," Simon said as he wrung his hands together in a nervous gesture. He turned to go back down the hall, but Alec's voice stopped him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. "Can I help with something?" Simon stopped his retreat but remained silent for a minute before turning back to face the archer.

"I…I wanted to see if I could…. could sit with him," the fledgling mumbled.

Alec quirked an eyebrow and gestured to the couch next to him. Simon swallowed, but didn't move from his spot.

"There's plenty of room," Alec offered, gesturing to the couch again. "I don't bite," he added. "Although the same cannot be said of Chairman Meow." He gave a pointed look at the ball of fur in his lap.

Simon cracked a half smile at that comment but remained rooted to his spot. Embarrassment was creeping up and he was sure that, if he weren't so malnourished, he would be blushing.

"I…I actually meant sit with him, like last night. I…I need the contact," he mumbled so quietly that he was sure the other boy hadn't heard him. He glanced up and saw the look of understanding pass over Alec's face, and he once more gestured to the couch next to him.

"Well, come on then," he said holding his arm up and indicating that Simon should come settle into his free side. That was all the invitation he needed, his body craving the comfort more than his brain wanted to be embarrassed by the situation. He moved forward and folded one leg under him as he sat next to Alec, leaning gingerly into his side as he felt the other boy's arm come to settle around his shoulders. He sighed, his body relaxing almost instantly at the touch. He had missed this, more than he realized.

"I'm sorry to be such a bother," he whispered as he stretched his hand out and ran a finger down Chairman Meow's spine. The cat mewed but didn't move from the spot. Simon felt Alec squeeze his shoulders briefly.

"Stop apologizing," he said. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't ask for any of this to happen to you."

"You're right, I didn't," Simon replied. He glanced up and met soft blue eyes. "I spend a lot of time wondering what could have been different if Clary hadn't decided my life for me." The bitterness in his voice was unmistakable. "Maybe I would still be dead. Maybe my mom would be morning the loss of her son instead of warding her house against an evil monster. Maybe they would still be alive." He felt tears welling up again, and angrily swiped at his face, willing the burning sensation behind his eyes away. Alec pulled him closer and softly ran his hand up and down Simon's arm.

"Dwelling on the what if's often doesn't help," Alec said softly. "I have also spent a lot of my time thinking about the what if's. What if I wasn't under so much pressure to be the perfect son? What if I didn't always follow the rules? What if I had tried harder? What if I wasn't hiding the fact that I was gay? What if I had told my family from the start instead of waiting for everything to build up? What if I didn't get my head out of my ass and call Magnus? Once I learned to accept my situation and be honest with myself about what I wanted, I was able to pull myself together and work on making the changes that I needed to happen to get where I wanted." He sighed before continuing. "I won't lie and tell you that it all just fell into place. It didn't. It was hard, there was a lot of struggling and fighting and ugliness, but I didn't give up and Magnus didn't let me. Together, we got through the worst of it."

Simon looked at Alec in surprise. He hadn't realized the other boy had struggled. Then again, Alec had always been the hardest of the Shadowhunters to read. Slightly awkward, like Simon, quiet, and obviously adept at keeping his emotions hidden inside somewhere.

"Does…. does it ever stop hurting?" he asked. Alec shrugged.

"Not really, but it recedes. And I'm not afraid to ask for help anymore. Magnus won't let me hurt alone nor will I let him. Part of relationships is trusting the other enough to be vulnerable with them, to ask for help getting through the tough times instead of pushing them away. I know why you pushed us away Simon. And we should have tried harder to keep you in our lives. I should have tried harder. But we truly are here for you, whatever you need. I'm a good listener, I give horrible advice most days, but Magnus excels in that department. I'm willing to give you whatever you need when you need it, but you have to be willing to ask for what you need. We're not mind readers, but I will do what I can to help you though this and so will Magnus." Simon stared at Alec, eyes widened in surprise.

"That may be the most I have ever heard you speak in one sitting! I…I appreciate it Alec, truly I do. I have been on my own for a long time. I don't know how to be around people anymore. I'm horrible at communicating, obviously, and I'm good at running, but I do appreciate your support. I will try…. just…be patient with me," he implored.

Alec nodded a faint smile touching his lips. The two boys fell into a comfortable silence, the sound of the TV the only noise in the apartment. Simon leaned his head against Alec's shoulder and the other boy brought his hand up to run his fingers through Simon's hair in an affectionate gesture. The vampire felt his body relax and without his consent, his eyes drifted shut and sleep took him.

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Magnus found the two boys in almost the same position when he arrived home with dinner several hours later. Alec sat with his legs still propped up on the coffee table and Chairman Meow in his lap. He had a book resting on the arm of the couch and Simon had shifted at some point in the afternoon to lay on the couch with his head in Alec's lap, next to the sleeping cat. The Shadowhunter was running the fingers of his left hand though the vampire's hair and using his right hand to turn the pages of his book as he read. Magnus smiled at the sight.

"How are we doing my darling?" he asked affectionately as he leaned in the doorway, his eyes shining brightly and the hint of a smile on his lips. Alec smiled softly at him.

"Better than I expected," Alec said, looking down at the sleeping vampire. "Simon and I talked a bit and he seems willing to let us try to help. He knows it won't be easy, but he is willing to try."

"Whatever did you say to him my dear Alexander?" the warlock asked in surprise. Alec laughed softly.

"Apparently more than he has ever heard me say at one time. I just told him a little bit about my struggle and how I couldn't have done it without you and learning to ask for help instead of suffering in silence. Apparently, despite being a nerdy vampire, we have a lot in common."

Magnus made his way to the couch and kissed Alec soundly, bringing his hand up to cup the boy's cheek.

"You never cease to amaze me," he murmured against the archer's lips. "I think you will be quite good for our dear little one." He leaned in for another kiss, savoring the feel of Alec's hand as he grasped the back of his neck and drew him closer. Their lips met in a sweet kiss, and he gasped when he felt Alec's tongue run across his bottom lip. The kiss deepened and their tongues danced a familiar dance making sparks fly through their bodies.

"Ugh, get a room!" a voice said from below them. They broke apart and looked down at the vampire. Alec blushed and Magnus just laughed as he straightened allowing Simon to sit up.

"How are you feeling sweetheart," he asked, ruffling Simon's hair, much to the boy's annoyance.

"Better," he said honestly. His talk with Alec and the time he spent napping had helped. "My body still feels like it got hit by a truck though."

"Dinner will help," Magnus said as he hefted a large bag up and headed for the table. "I got you the good stuff, or so the lady at Taki's claimed. Something about being organic and medical grade. Your body will feel better when it starts getting proper nourishment. When was the last time you ate before this morning?"

Simon shrugged. "I don't know…. maybe last week?" He couldn't remember his last meal. "I haven't been very hungry."

The warlock frowned disapprovingly. "That's about to change." He pushed Simon into a seat at the table as Alec went to the kitchen and came back with forks, cups, and a pitcher of iced tea. Magnus put takeout boxes in front of each of them and looked pointedly at Simon as he set the cup of warm blood in front of him.

"I don't expect you to eat everything given your lack of proper nutrition, but you have to eat some of it, or your body will never recover from its partial starvation." The look he gave Simon said there was no room for argument. The vampire held his hands up in surrender.

"Yes mom."

A/N. I hope you enjoyed! I've been re-watching Shadowhunters and I couldn't get this out of my head. I love a good Simon story and figure I would see where this takes me. Let me know what you think and as always, thanks for reading!