...

Hydra.

As far as morally induced problems and upcoming threats to peace and freedom go, I had to admit that one took the cake.

Even Thanos had his own standards.

Fucked up he might've been, at least the jolly purply giant wasn't exactly a racist-born, freedom-hating totalitarian.

He was just a cut of the good old omnicidal maniacs with semi-noteworthy intentions.

But he wasn't a racist. The man had a genuinely indiscriminate work ethic. Everyone had an equal chance at getting fucked over.

But Hydra...

Well.

If there was ever one organization that needed to take a nose-dive into the earth's crust, it was them.

Though odds were, the cockroaches would probably find a way to make a base out of it.

I idly sipped the drink in hand, the raucous of the pub I was in ignored in favor of finally having a body without its inhibitions taken up to an eleven.

Had this been my first life into the multi-verse of crap I'd had handed to me without my consent, I probably would've run straight to Nick Fury with every piece of information I had on how his beloved organization was actually his worst enemy in disguise. At which point I would've either had several bullets put into my head, or became a non-compliant witness in the US's protection program. Neither of which would've helped my no doubt crumbling sanity.

Had it been my third, following my reign of... Well, nothing good, in the Grand Lines, I probably would've taken over Hydra myself. At which point the earth would've either been set in a collision course with the worst the MCU had to offer, or peace would've finally had a chance to actually exist. Well, a fucked up form of it at any rate.

Now, however?

I was somewhat content to drink myself into a stupor, and if the drinks helped me come up with a reasonable, or maniacal, plan of action then all the better.

Either way... I honestly couldn't find much of a fuck to give-

I am starting to think I should probably cut myself off for the time being. I hadn't exactly expected it to take effect this quickly.

Putting the glass down, I promptly got up off my seat and made my way over to the bar itself, intent on paying off the tab I'd started.

You might be wondering where I got the money to do so.

The short answer, Tony Stark was thankful enough for my words of wisdom, he unknowingly gave me a charitable donation.

Long answer, I may have robbed him.

Wait, I am pretty sure I got those two mixed up.

Either way, I hadn't actually met the man since seeing him atop the Statue of Liberty. Though his office was surprisingly filled with some sweet-looking tech.

I got a killing for the standard-issue laptop I took from his desk.

Don't worry, I wiped the hard drive.

He really should consider not leaving said laptop open, unattended.

I left him a note.

Reaching into my pocket for a wad of cash, I made to hand it over before someone to my side promptly caught my Haki-

Haki? I blinked in bemusement at the word.

I was fairly certain I should've lost that particular ability...

Maybe alcohol gave me my superpowers back?

I should really look into that-

Wait, no, not Haki, just heightened senses.

Haki would've let me read the woman currently staring me down's mind.

"Hey there stranger, think you could-" She leaned her head closer, a flash of something going through her eyes. "-fill me up?" She questioned coyishly, idly waving the empty glass in her hand.

With a shrug, I obliged the woman and threw in an extra note to the smirking bartender, my eyes wavering over towards the holy grail of water prepared for those who'd bit off more than they could chew.

At which point, to the worker's clear disappointment, I turned on my heel and made to walk back to my seat, the jug of water in my hand.

Why you might ask?

Was it perhaps the clear mental age difference? The fact I might not wish to create any more unnecessary connections given my endgame goal? Pun intended.

...I gave the thought itself a quick combover, turned a glance back to the clearly disappointed girl, and shrugged.

Nope.

I just don't really do red-heads.

Evidently, Nick Fury worked really fast.

Either that or I may have just blown off a sure thing-

...

I didn't in fact blow off a sure thing.

Turns out my hunch was right.

Any normal, self-respecting woman, wouldn't have given someone the light of day over a snub like that.

Natasha Romanov however, wasn't normal by any means whatsoever.

"You know," The woman on the opposite side of the table started, the drink Tony Stark had unknowingly paid for in her hand. "Most guys would ask for a number after buying me a drink."

Pretty sure Stark already has it.

The question currently nagging my mind was a simple one.

How do you refuse secret spies without giving away the fact you know they're a super-secret spy?

The last thing I wanted was to give Nick Fury any more reason to try and keep tabs on me after all.

When the perfect way to avoid the situation fixed itself into my head, I calmly opened my mouth and-

"Not interested."

Nailed it.

Unfortunately, however, it for some reason, failed to work. Given Black Widow just raised an eyebrow at me, a small half-smile on her face.

"Really?" She questioned, leaning ever so slightly. "Why? Got a girlfriend?"

"If by girlfriend you mean I don't want to be hounded by Nick Fury? Then yes, I've got a girlfriend."

It took me a moment to realize what I'd just said out loud.

When the earlier, flirty, attitude disappeared completely in favor of a cold expressionless mask, I mentally vowed to never drink again.

...Well, nothing to it. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"...Well toots, nice meeting you. Tell Fury his homeboy's a fan of the Red Skull-" Cue narrowed eyes. "And that his ships thoroughly infected with their bullshit propaganda!"

I could see the way the woman tensed her body, one hand lowering itself under the table, while the other stealthily tried to drop the glass it held-

When she made to open her mouth to retort, I calmly stood up, gave the super-secret spy a gleaming smile, and calmly told her to fuck right off.

Can't wait for this to backfire.

Sarcasm intended.

...

I suppose in hindsight, there was no way Black Widow, or rather Nick Fury, were just going to let me walk away.

With a sigh, I exited the pub, not entirely unsurprised to find the street outside completely empty. No sign of cars, nor people around. Even the stores on the opposite side seemed to have temporarily closed for the day.

Inside on most of the buildings across the street, I had no doubt more Shield agents were on standby, likely waiting for Romanov's signal of sorts.

I idly wondered if Barton was in the mix as well.

Turning around, having taken a few feet outside the establishment I'd been in, I wasn't surprised to see Black Widow behind me. Her guard still up, one hand behind her back likely concealing a gun, while the other stood harmlessly by her left side.

I kept my eyes on the left one, the tell-tale tech covering it hadn't been there before.

"Do I need to explain the meaning of 'Fuck right off?'" I calmly questioned crossing both my arms as I levelled a glare at her. "I gave you information free of will-"

"You gave me a baseless accusation." The woman retorted, taking a single step closer. An action I rewarded by taking a step back.

"Careful Widow," I remarked. "I might be inebriated right now, but my body isn't."

In response, the woman took to walking around, as opposed to any closer, circling me in the process. Forcing me to stare away from the no doubt eavesdropping pub occupants.

"Fury wants to talk to you." She added on, ignoring my point completely.

"I am a compromising guy, I'll talk to him, but not at his facility."

"Not possible I am afraid."

"Is that what the snipers are for?"

I had to hand it to her, there wasn't a hint of her expression changing at the words. The woman electing to grow a small smile instead, while her eyes showed off no amusement.

"What snipers?"

"For starters," I let a small smile grow on my face. "Laura's boy toy."

Her expression cracked, widened eyes meeting mine as I watched her hidden hand quickly reach out towards the earpiece she'd put on, her gun in full view-

"Still think I've got baseless-"

"Hawkeye wai-"

My body, automatically, rapidly raised a hand to the left side of my neck, catching the tranquilizer dart the aforementioned operative had shot.

Black Widow's reaction was to take a step back, her even wider eyes backed by a combat stance.

I calmly turned my head towards the dart Hawkeye had shot off from god knows where- It hadn't been from the other side of the street of the pub, but rather from a building at the end of the road.

"Before trigger-happy decides to try again," I stated in a deadpan tone. "I ought to warn you that my body has a very keen survival sense. Almost automatic even. And frankly, you don't have enough guns on hand to bypass it."

I turned my gaze back towards her.

"So like I said, if Fury wants to talk, he's going to have to do it at my terms. you don't have anything on me to warrant otherwise-"

"You broke the Statue of Liberty."

"I broke the scepter by jumping off of it. Feel free to measure out your chances of a clean takedown. But a word of warning, thanks to Trigger-fingers, you're on strike one. Two more, and Fury will never get anything noteworthy out of me."

"..."

The woman seemed to mull over my words, every so often her gaze turning rapidly around the vicinity before falling back to me.

"You said we don't have anything on you." The woman remarked after the moment of silence, her tech-covered hand retrieving a small device of sorts before she flashed it before me. "We've got you breaking and entering Stark's office. Throw that in with what you did to Lady Liberty and that's grounds for jail time."

I snorted at the threat.

"Stark snitched on me? And I thought we had a rapport going."

"He didn't have to snitch. You didn't try very hard to clean up after your tracks."

"Regardless, if that's what you wanted to do, I wouldn't be having this conversation with you. I'd be escorted to the nearest underground bunker without pause."

"Push our hand and we might escort you anyway."

"That's strike two. I don't take well to threats."

I calmly put both hands behind my back.

"Last chance agent Romanov. Because as far as I am aware, even if you did have enough men to take me down here and now. You don't have the means to get me to admit the truth Fury has nagging at the back of his head."

"...Your terms then?"

"My terms." I smiled. "Isn't it so much better when everyone cooperates?"

"The only one not cooperating here, is you."

"I beg to differ, I wasn't the one who ruined your night, or did you take the snubbery to heart?"

"So what if I did?"

"You'd be a liar then. Everyone knows I am not your type."

At that, she raised a single eyebrow at me. "And you know my type do you?"

"Lotta green, lotta anger, not so willing to use the power that comes with it," I stated, the words not getting much of a reaction out of the woman. "You wouldn't get it, least not yet."

"Right."

"Anywho, my terms..." I made a show of thinking about it before letting out a shrug. "Fury wants to talk? Give me the earpiece on your ear, tell him we can talk here and n-"

Yet before I could finish, I watched as the environment around us started shifting, the world for a moment breaking down as cracked mirrors appeared all around me, forming and coalescing into a copy of the world itself. I watched Black widow's sudden reaction, the woman haphazardly running towards me before passing through as my body presumably disappeared from her sight.

I let out a long sigh.

It felt like I was playing MCU freakin' bingo right now.

Turning around on the spot, I greeted the far too amused cause of my latest imprisonment.

"Hello there, Realm-hopper."

"You know, you could've just called." I deadpanned to the Sorcerer Supreme.

"Most people respond in hello."

I rolled my eyes.

"Most people don't get ambushed during an ambush. But if you insist on politeness, hello there, Ancient Bimbo."

She tilted her head forward, amusement, wariness, and somehow exasperation coloring her eyes.

"Politeness would've been calling me by my title."

"And miss the look on your face? Who do you take me for? Kaecilius?"

To my surprise, the woman didn't rise to the bait, instead, allowing a tired expression to filter across her face.

"Sorry, I should've gone with Dormammu."

"All the same, I am simply glad you already know of the entity."

I blinked at the words, once again not what I'd expected.

"I have a bit of a favor to ask of you regarding him," The Sorceress remarked absolutely seriously.

"Didn't realize he subscribed to genders. But sure, I am willing to hear you out. Just not here."

"Not a fan of the Mirror Dimension?"

"Something like that- ooh can I get one of those sling rings if I do you your favor?"

The woman let out a short chuckle at the words.

"We shall have to see, World-wanderer."

"I think I preferred the other name."

"I am not so keen on Ancient Bimbo myself."

"Would you prefer Bimbo alone?"

"Only if you wish to extend your immortality."

I think I am starting to like her.

"Not much of a threat, don't you think?"

"Not with anyone else, no."

"Mhm, you certainly did your homework."

"One must, in order to make a deal with you."

I nodded sagely at the words.

"Say, any chance we could make a quick stop on the way? I want to prank Nick Fury."

She actually rolled her eyes at me. And here I'd thought she was above that sort of thing!

"I am suddenly having doubts about rewarding you with a Sling Ring. For some reason, I feel like you intend to gravely misuse it."

Yup... We were gonna get along like a house on fire.

"Could always just give me the Time Stone,"

...

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