"Elliot."

Her tone was breathy; he left her speechless. She knew how much he valued his commitment, how such a trivial thing to some meant the world to them. "...I don't know what to say." She sipped at her wine, now swirling it in the cup as she thought.

"You don't have to say anything, Liv." He offered a warm smile and sat back. For tonight, this was enough. "I just want you to know...that you mean a lot to me." They've had this conversation before. Liv, you mean the world to me. After rendering her speechless, he told her to "back off" and he meant it. She couldn't be collateral damage. He couldn't lose her, too. Not again.

"So.. it's your turn to pick a movie, Benson." He cocked a brow before handing her the remote, now leaning back on the couch.

Tonight would play out as other nights had - two friends spending time together - but both knew it meant much more than that.

—

Two weeks passed since the last time she saw him. To say that he had been on her mind would be an understatement; he consumed every part of her. She thought of him while awake, in her dreams, she saw him in everything, everywhere.

She was able to play off the conversation with Fin. It can wait. She told herself - who was she kidding? He deserved to know, he needed to know. Her sigh came out a bit louder than she anticipated, soon after her head fell into her hands. The building tension made her eyes squint - the paperwork wasn't helping. Her trail of thoughts was disrupted by the voice of her sergeant.

"Cap?" Fin leaned in, meeting her gaze. "You have a visitor." He paused. "Kathleen Stabler." He offered a sympathetic look, knowing all too well how their interactions typically went.

Palpitations. Fear. Concern. She nodded, "Of course. Send her in." She saw Elliot in him; she knew that look. "Kathleen, what happened?"

Her arms were crossed in an almost defensive manner. Confiding in the woman her mother spent the majority of her life jealous of wasn't where she wanted to be, but it's where she needed to be.

"Olivia.." She looked down, her eyes glistened with moisture. "I tried to help him, but I can't. He won't get help."

"Slow down." She knew that she had emotional highs and lows - albeit a selfish thought, she silently prayed that it was one of her episodes. "You know it's not your fault, right?" Her motherly instincts kicked in before she could process it - a hand meant for comfort circled on Kathleen's back. "What happened?"

Once they were sitting, she could see the young blonde fall apart within seconds. Knowing the likelihood that Elliot was in danger caused her mind to spiral; she couldn't go there, not yet.

Her anger surfaced. "...he was in an accident today, with Eli." Kathleen dabbed at her eyes, glancing up for a moment - she looked pitiful. "Please help. I can't lose him, Olivia. You're the only one he'll listen to."

The brunette let out a slow, shaky breath. "Okay… This is what we're going to do."

—

He looked at himself in the mirror; he didn't recognize the man he saw in the mirror. His face was battered, dark rings under his eyes, wrinkles. When did I get so damn old? Eyes clenched shut, he tried to take himself out of the moment. Ringing ears. Vertigo. Inability to retain information. It was easy to hide, no one knew.

His kids had decided to gather for a family dinner; it was the first time they'd all been together since the funeral. They needed it. A splash of cold water brought him back to the present. He rolled up his sleeves and breathed out steadily - he could do this. Just hold it together, Elliot. For the kids. Hand over his face, he shook his head and exited the bathroom.

One by one, his now grown children arrived - all except Kathleen. He glanced at the time on his wrist watch, brows furrowed. "Anyone know where your sister is?"

If there was one thing his children failed at, it was lying to him. It was as if they simultaneously looked down; they were ridden with guilt, and his reaction couldn't be gauged. "Will someone tell me what the hell is going on?" He was growing impatient. As if it were on cue, the apartment door unlocked and Kathleen was there. "Hi, Dad." Her smile wasn't as stoic as it normally was. Something was definitely up. She stepped to the side, revealing his ex-partner.

"Olivia..?" He gave all of his children a look to show them his indifference. "What are you doing? I mean, you know you're always welcome here, but…"

He was cut off by her piercing stare at the wall. The murder wall, the Wheatley shrine. Without hesitation, she began to take down every picture - all of his work was being thrown away.

His knee-jerk reaction was to stand, which he did a little too fast. The cloudiness from earlier intensified. He rocked back and forth, feeling everything around him spin. "Dad!" He wasn't sure who called out for him, or who caught him.

"I'm FINE!"

Everyone backed off. He held his own, and looked at Olivia; it was as if something forced him to return ?.

"You're not, El…" She began softly, pacing toward him with concern written all over her face. "Tell us what you need." Her hand reached out to trace the bruising on his face; she didn't care that the room was filled with his children, nor did he. For a moment in time, everything stood still. It was them, and everything was okay again. They weren't seasoned; they were young, their first year on the force. His eyes closed. She brought him a level of comfort that no one else could. The same words were repeated, this time in a quieter tone. "Tell me what you need."

His eyes clenched shut. The tears were there, but he couldn't let them fall. Not now. His jaw tensed, he tensed. His body shook with emotion when he finally saw the look in her eyes. "I love you." It was the first time he had ever told her; it wasn't coffee, it wasn't him offering a kidney, or taking a bullet for her. Three words, twenty years late. "I love all of you."

He broke the contact, retreating to the bathroom. "...I can't do this." There were very few times Elliot Stabler sounded defeated. Most often it was when he felt like he failed a victim, but this time it was personal. He failed his family. Their mother was gone, and he was to blame.

—

Thank you to everyone who left reviews! I'm honestly blown away by the feedback. I'm so glad that everyone has enjoyed Antidote thus far.

I'll be honest: I contemplated whether I'd continue, or not. After the leaks on Twitter today, I couldn't help myself. I plan on writing at last three more chapters; perhaps it'll turn into a much longer story than I initially intended. Please excuse my typos - my brain isn't functioning properly today. Will fix them, over time.

Feedback is greatly appreciated! :)

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