Chapter 2: Sex, Birth, Death

Emily had been trying desperately to get back to work since that "conversation" with Hotch, but her mind just wasn't on the case. Which was a problem. Women were dying and all she wanted to do was work. But her mind was a mess of images of dead prostitutes set against live-action images of her beating her Unit Chief's ass on the sparring mats on their next mandated training day. Those last thoughts were causing her body to shake involuntarily, and she knew she needed to get up from her desk to use up some of this energy.

Emily looked down at her coffee cup, finding it empty, and decided to use this as an excuse to take a break from her desk. She picked up the cup and headed over to the kitchen, filling it up quickly, before heading down the relatively empty hallway. Emily kept going down the hallway until she finally found an empty conference room. She checked the booking form on the door and then checked her watch. Another 40 minutes before anyone would be needing this room. She walked inside and closed the door, leaving it ajar, just in case someone needed to find her.

As she took a sip of her fresh coffee, Emily pulled out her phone and dialled his number.

"Mom?"

"Hey Zac," Emily replied into the phone, "How's school?"

"It's good… hard, but good." Zac sighed into the phone, "But you didn't call to check up on me, did you?"

Emily rolled her eyes, "Sometimes I wish you had your father's intelligence." She waited while Zac had a good chuckle before she continued, "I'm sorry honey... that was uncalled for."

"It's fine, Mom," Zac replied with an audible smile, "I know I got your brains, and you know you can tell me anything."

"I know that honey, and I appreciate you're all grown up now, but I still feel like I'm the parent, so I need to protect you from the harsh realities of the world," Emily explained.

"While I appreciate your continued concern for my innocence, I'm not a kid anymore," Zac replied, "And when you hurt, I hurt. So come on... don't make me drive there to force-feed you pizza until you talk."

Emily chuckled for a moment, appreciating her son's quick wit and kindness. She sighed and nodded, knowing that she needed to talk to someone, and it might as well be the person she told everything else to. Emily took a deep breath and let it out before she plucked up the courage to start.

"I just wish things were different," Emily explained, "You know how I feel about your grandparents interference…"

"What did they do, Mom? Is it time to yell?"

"No sweetie," Emily replied, "They haven't done anything… but even when they don't do anything, people still assume that they've pulled strings."

"So this is about your boss?"

Emily stayed silent for a moment, and Zac knew he was on the right track. After all, Emily had called him after she'd had that first unexpected interaction with Hotch on her first day in the unit. And she'd unloaded everything onto the sturdy shoulders of her son. Since that conversation, the otherwise calm and collected Zac had been thinking about all of the things he'd like to say to this Agent Hotchner, some of which he'd shared with his mother in efforts to make her laugh.

"Start at the beginning Mom," Zac urged.

"I'm trying to establish myself as someone other than the daughter of Ambassador Elizabeth and CIA Agent Simon," Emily explained, "I'm trying to be acknowledged for the work I've done." Emily sighed, "And the most frustrating part is that I've been fine in the Bureau until now… and it's all because Hotch has history with my name."

"Hotch being your boss?"

"Oh… yeah, that's his… I mean that's what we call him," Emily explained, "I forgot I hadn't filled you in on that."

"And he has history with Grams and Pop?"

"I'm not going to get into that, but let's just say he knows your grandparents," Emily explained, "And he is holding it against me… every word I say and every thing I do." Emily paused and felt her heart race in her chest, "Honestly, he's just being an asshole, and I can't say that to anyone here."

"Ok, Mom," Zac replied, "Well you're strong and smart and tough and you have nerves of steel… you came to the BAU because you have the experience and the skills and the qualifications. You're good at what you do… you're amazing at what you do. And you deserve to be in that team. Just tell the asshole all of that… except the part about him being an asshole."

Emily sighed and nodded her head. She reached up to wipe a stray tear that dropped down her cheek and bit her lip.

"Are you listening to me?"

"I'm listening," Emily replied softly, "I'm just sitting here and wondering what I ever did without you… and when you became my oracle."

Zac chuckled, "Well, you've always been mine, and now I'm old enough that you actually listen to my advice," he replied, "Besides, nothing I said was a lie."

Emily laughed loudly and nods, "Well honey, is there any way I can pay you back right now or are you going to bank that favour for later?"

"It's not like that, Mom… for starters, you've never turned me away and you've given me everything I've ever needed. So if anyone's paying back, it's me."

"Ok, in that case, am I allowed to bug you for a visit?" Emily replied.

"Well… as it so happens, I was going to see if I could come to DC next weekend."

"I would love that, honey," Emily replied excitedly, suddenly re-energised by a conversation with her son and plans for him to visit, "Text me the details and I'll make sure I'm around... now I probably have another minute or two before they start to wonder where I've disappeared to... tell me about your classes."

Emily stood from where she's been leaning against the conference room table and tapped her phone against her hand, sliding it into her back pocket. As she opened the door to step into the hallway, she ran into Garcia.

Garcia jumped, taking a step back from the door, trying to make it seem like she hadn't been eavesdropping on Emily's phone call. Not that she wasn't hatching a plan to ask Emily a whole bunch of questions later. But now wasn't the time for digging into the life of her newest friend.

"Oh, I was just walking past and heard you in there," Garcia explained, "Are you ok?"

Emily nodded and smiled awkwardly, "Yep…" she paused, glancing down at a folder in Garcia's hands, "Do you have something?"

Garcia glanced down at her hands and then back up at Emily, "Uh… yeah… what… it's a lead… I'm on my way to talk to Hotch."

"Ok, great," Emily replied, "Well I'll come with you."

Emily pushed her red apartment door open, juggling her handbag and a paper bag full of Chinese food. Just as she stepped through the doorway, her phone started to ring and she paused in her steps, to pull it out of her pocket, not checking the caller ID before she answered.

"Great timing sweetheart," she said quickly, "I just got home so if you'll give me a minute to put down the disgusting amount of Chinese food I'm planning to eat in my bathtub, I will be all ears."

*cough* - the unmistakeable sound of someone clearing their throat.

"Prentiss."

Emily's eyes bugged open and she stepped to the side to let the door close behind her. She made her way into the kitchen and dumped her bags on the counter before turning and leaning against it.

"Are you there, Prentiss?"

"I'm here," she said quietly.

"I just wanted to apologise for the way I behaved today," Hotch said softly, "I thought it was worth it to call and let you know that I know I was wrong."

Emily remained silent for a moment, considering whether it was worth it to push back. She sighed, deciding that it wasn't worth the effort. She was hungry and she needed a drink, and filling both of those needs required getting to the end of this conversation.

"Prentiss… are you hearing me?"

"I'm hearing you Agent Hotchner, and I appreciate your call," she replied, "And I would really appreciate it if we could put this behind us."

Hotch sighed into the phone, "Understood Prentiss, consider it in the past," he paused, "I'll see you tomorrow."

The click in her ear informed Emily that the call had ended and she held it away from her ear. She wasn't expecting that – an apology from Hotch. She'd actually expected him to hold a grudge. So to say she was surprised would be a massive understatement.

Emily stood and turned, taking out the bottle of red wine from the rack on the return, and grabbing a glass from the cabinet. She poured herself a generous drink and reached into the paper bag to take out the boxes of food. As she opened each carton of greasy food, she let her mind wander and she felt the rage begin to build in her body.

Even after the apology, she was still pissed. For a somewhat intelligent man, Agent Hotchner could be a real idiot sometimes. Yes, he'd apologised, and yes, Emily had said that she wanted to put it all in the past. But that didn't erase the assumptions that he had made about Emily's intentions coming into the Unit. She always had to fight for her place – in her family, at the ridiculous number of schools she'd gone to in her youth, as a mother, as an agent, and now in the BAU. She was sick of fighting for her place in the world. She'd been hoping that, after their tense start, she and Hotch had been moving towards a mutual understanding... mutual respect. And then, after asking a completely innocuous question - a question that was relevant to their very active case - Hotch had blown that understanding to shit. She wasn't the one with the political agenda... he was! Hypocrite!

"Fuck!" Emily yelled, kicking her foot against the cabinet in front of her. She leaned against the counter and let her head drop to her chest. Letting out a sigh, she realised she was not in the mood for food, and packed up the cartons, stacking them in the otherwise empty fridge.

Emily grabbed the glass of wine she'd already poured, as well as the bottle of remaining wine. She put her phone in her pocket and made her way upstairs and into her bedroom, quickly undressing and leaving her phone on the bed. Emily started the bath and pressed play on the sound system in her room, allowing the sounds of Oscar Pettiford and the smell coming from her diffuser to calm the rage in her belly. Tomorrow, she could go into the office early so that she could get in a workout on the boxing bags before she had to see Hotch - hopefully that would stop her from following through on the persistent images of her punching her boss. But tonight, she would try to just relax.

As the bath began to fill with water, Emily took her glass of wine and set it up next to the bottle on the small side table by the tub, before she slipped out of her underwear and climbed into the water. The hot water soothed her aching muscles, while she waited for the same effect on her frustrations. Within moments, the sounds, scents, and sensations did their job, kicking the image of Aaron Hotchner out of her mind.