Okay, I know this is not easy so I hope you don't mind when I continue the story. And I promise this chapter will have fluffy moments.

Chapter 2

Okay, I'll be right there. Did Logan make the coffee? Bobby read the massage Alex sent him just as he poured himself a cup. He tasted it and it was okay.

He smiled. Logan was a capable Detective but every time he made the coffee Bobby and Alex went out to the coffee shop next door.

No, it's fine. No need for a rescue. Bobby texted back. He regretted that he had written that the moment he pressed send on his phone. Rescue… He would have rescued her back then. He knew very well that it was irrational to think something like that. There was no way to change the past, no matter how much he wished for it.

She arrived an hour later with donuts for both of them. Everything seemed to be so normal.

For her it is normal. This is just new for me.

"Melanie just told me all about the sins of her stepfather. You were right with your suspicions of child abuse." Eames informed him after they said their good mornings.

"Really?" Was his tone surprise enough, or too much, or false?

"Yep. Some Uniforms are out to arrest him. And with that, it is now a case for the SVU." Alex smiled and picked a chocolate-covered donut out of the box they had placed between their desks.

"So, they are going to do our paperwork?" he asked hopefully. Ah, paperwork, normal safe territory!

Alex laughed lightly, "We can pack up our reports in the boxes and see if that works."

He loved it when she laughed. "Great so we can start the weekend early today?"

"Why so eager? You have plans for the weekend?"

"Yeah, actually I do," Bobby answered and grinned as he saw her raising an eyebrow. "I'll lock myself in with my girlfriend. We'll just turn off the phones, have some good wine and good food and us."

Logan passed their desks, "Don't forget to tell me all about that on Monday, Goren." He said as he headed towards the elevator.

"Well, I think that sounds good." Alex smiled.

He winked at her and her smile grew bigger.

BABABA

"Take out for dinner?" Bobby asked as they entered the empty elevator at the end of the workday.

"Sounds good." Alex agreed with a smile.

"And Chocolate-chip ice crème for dessert?"

"Oh, you're my hero"

On their drive home to her place her phone rang.

"We will turn our phones off right after you finish that call," Bobby told Alex.

She grinned at him and hit the button for the speakerphone in the SUV.

"Hi Mom, you are on the speaker," Alex told the caller and the cheering voicer of her mother echoed through the SUV.

"Hi, honey. Sorry to disturb you but I was wondering if you will join our big Christmas party in three weeks."

"Oh, I don't know, how big?" Alex drew a face and Bobby watched her closely.

"Oh everyone will be there, Even Aunt Ella and uncle Cobs."

Alex looked confused: "Who?"

"Ella and Cobs. Oh come on honey, we met them when we went to Europe. You know them."

"Mom, I was five back then. How am I supposed to remember that?" Bobby chucked at her annoyed face.

"Oh, Bobby is that you?" Alex's mother asked.

"Yes, Mrs. Eames."

"Oh please, I told you to call me Maggie." It was obvious that she was a big fan of Bobby. "You are invited too, of cause and…"

"Mom, we have not decided what to do on Christmas." Alex interrupted her mother while she pulled into the parking lot of her building.

"Yeah, maybe we will just go to Aruba, catch some sun." Bobby joked.

"Oh please. Christmas is a time to be with the family!" Maggie complained.

"Yeah, a very big Eames family Christmas," Alex said and tried hard to hide her annoyance. "We will think about it, Mom. Thank you." Before Maggie could say another word Alex ended the call and killed the engine.

"Aruba?" she asked and reached for the food on the back seat.

"Yeah well, it was just an idea." He shrugged.

"Good idea, much better than a second big Eames family party two months in a row," she said as Bobby unlocked and opened the door.

"I like your family." Except for your uncle Barnie. I might just kill him next time I get near to him.

"Me too but not when it gets so big. Just my parents, siblings and their families are ok but aunts, uncles cousins and so on are a bit too much. And on Christmas, they tend to stuff the family members into elf costumes. I'm pretty sure they'll make you Santa." Alex explained as they sat down on the couch and grabbed the food out of the paper bags.

"Oh, because of the beard?"

"More because of this." She laughed and poked on his belly with her chopsticks.

"Hey!"

They laughed. She seemed so normal. There was no sign of what had happened to her. But then again, it was over twenty years ago. There was only this one thing he had always wondered. This one position in bed… she always refused to do it. Bobby had tried it if few times… She was open for everything but every time he turned her onto her stomach she slipped away. Bobby was sad that she did not trust him enough to tell him about what happened.

"Honestly, "Alex put her food down. "This is the first Christmas in years that I have someone special to spend my time with. I'm not really happy about that party. But I guess Aruba is too expensive for us."

"You know my half-brother has this small cabin in the Canadian mountains and I was thinking that we could go there for the holidays," Bobby suggested, taking her food to eat it up. No uncle will find you there. "It would be just you, me, a fireplace, and maybe some bears outside."

Her eyes lit up: "I like that idea even better than Aruba."

"Oh in Aruba I could see you in a bikini every day."

"In that cabin, you'll get to see me naked all day." she grinned.

"Good, I'll call him and ask when we can get the key."

BABABA

The next morning he poured this third cup of coffee. He had not slept good, screams he had never heard haunted him. Alex rushed by, wearing her sportswear, and was about to plug the headphone in her ears.

"Where do you think you are going?" He asked.

"For a run." She seemed slightly confused by that question.

"In the dark?!" He could not hold back his concern.

"It's not darker than yesterday about this time. Besides dawn is ahead."

No, this is not going to end in a fight just because I now know her secret. "Then why don't you wait until dawn?"

She smiled: "Well if you are concerned about my safety you could join me."

He hesitated. He had started with the sport again when they stepped into a relationship. And it already showed effects, even colleagues seemed to notice. But when Alex said run, she actually meant running. He could already picture her disappearing at the horizon while he was still in their street. But anyway, he needed to do it.

"Okay, just wait a second."

BABABA

"Come on, Bobby." She called as they were about a half-hour into the run. She slowed down, jogging backward to look at him. The sun was now up and he let himself fall helplessly onto a bench in the park they just crossed.

"I can't," he said catching his breath and holding his hand to his side.

She jogged back to him: "You cannot just rest here. It's cold if you just sit here you'll get sick."

"Okay, how about this. I get breakfast for us and make some more coffee and after your run, I'll join you in the shower." he replayed.

"Deal." Alex kissed his cheek and off she was.

At least it's not dark anymore. Bobby thought.

BABABA

Why don't you tell me? This question played over and over in his head and he found himself a little overprotective about her. But he couldn't help it. He was so relieved when they finally arrived in the lonely cabin on Christmas Eve. After packing the groceries they had brought into the small kitchen he started a fire and made love to her in front of the fireplace.

"Secret fantasy fulfilled. Now I can die as a happy man." He smiled as they were tangled in woolen blankets.

She giggled, "I hope you'll be with me for many more years."

He grinned, "Yeah." Then inhaled deeply. "Alex?"

"Hm?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He expected her to ask what she was not telling him or something like that instead she straightened herself and set with her back to the couch causing him to sit next to her.

"Why should I? I guess you already heard most of it."

"You knew I was there?"

She shook her head, "No but I figured it out. You were strange around me in the past weeks. You almost hit that witness when he tried to touch my ass last week. And you only wanted to come with me on a run when it was dark. I heard you mumbling in your sleep something that sounded like 'kill Barnie'… I just didn't say anything because there is nothing to talk about."

"Nothing to talk about!?" he could not believe it, "Alex you were raped by your uncle!"

She looked at him sternly: "Yes. Over twenty years ago and I got help." When she saw the tears in his eyes she reached gently for his face and made him look into her eyes, "Bobby, it's okay now. The pain and the fear are long gone and even the need for control is fading as you might have noticed in the last hour."

He smiled a little. He liked to be in control in bed and she had never objected to it as long as… oh well.

"Again, why didn't you tell me?"

Alex dropped her hands into her lab and it took her some time to answer: "I just didn't want you to believe I am vulnerable or weak. I was afraid you would react the way you did in the last couple of weeks."

He lifted her head to look at him: "I'm sorry about that, it just shocked me too much. And I would never believe that you are vulnerable or weak. But when you told Melanie about the situation with your uncle in the kitchen at the last party…"

Now she laughed out, "I lied. I'm sorry about that but at that moment I thought it would bring her to tell me about her stepfather. And in the end, it helped her."

He could not say a word.

"Remember that lovely uncle Barnie changed his shirt on that party?"

He nodded.

"That was because his shirt was stained with blood from his nose."

Now a big grin appeared on his face, "Well, that's my Alex."

The end.

Uff, this was difficult for me to write… Hope you liked it at least a little. See you next time.