First of all, I want to apologize for not updating this in a while. I wanted to wait until the story was finished to publish any more of it, but I haven't gotten to write any of it lately. I wrote this chapter a long time ago, it's just been sitting and waiting. So, here it is! Love ya awesome nerds!
Chapter 2
"I ask that you keep this strictly confidential." I hand the woman in my room a couple hundred dollars, and she takes it and nods before slipping away from the apartment.
I feel a little bad that I don't even remember her name. In my defense, though, Jesse has hooked me up with a different girl every night for the past three weeks. The only one I remember was a woman named Jessica, and I only remember her because we didn't have sex. We text every day, but we've decided to keep our relationship strictly platonic. I've even given her advice on how to ask out the girl she's in love with, who's named Ashley.
Groaning, I walk into the kitchen, and I see Jesse and Chloe both sitting at the table. Jesse is on his laptop once again, and Chloe is reading a book.
"Morning weirdos." I say when I sit down across from them, and they both look up, donning the same grin.
"Morning." They both say at the same time, then laugh.
"So?" Jesse asks, and I don't need him to elaborate for me to understand exactly what he's asking.
"Not interested." I respond, and both of their faces fall. Shrugging, I get up and pour myself a cup of coffee.
I don't turn around as Chloe says, "maybe next time."
Ever since Aubrey proposed, Chloe and I's relationship has been… strained, to put it lightly. She tries really hard to get my attention, and I try my best not to give in. It's hard, ignoring her like this; I've known her for so long, she's basically a part of me. But I know that, if I look at her, I'll lose it, and I can't do that. If I do that, it'll make her sad. If she's sad, I'll be even sadder than I already am. Poor Jesse would rip his hair out.
I've tried bonding with some of these girls Jesse has presented to me- I know I need to get over Chloe, I just have to- but nothing works. No one works. It's super cheesy, but I can't imagine myself with anyone but her. It's not a future I even want to consider. But I know that she'll never look at me the way she looks at Aubrey. One would think she stole the moon for her from the way her eyes sparkle. It makes me jealous, sure, but it hurts more than anything.
"Yeah, maybe." I mutter in response to the ginger. It hurts when I turn around and see the sadness in her eyes, but I can't bring myself to say anything that'll change it.
Jesse, being the glue that he is, says, "so I think we should all do something together today, just us three."
"That sounds fun!" Chloe exclaims, and they both turn to look at me. "Come on Becs, this could be fun."
"Could also be a nightmare." I mumble, and Jesse shoots me a glare.
"Beca, you're going, even if I have to drag you out of this apartment."
"Fuck you." I growl, and he laughs.
"Love you too. Let's do this!"
"Jesse, where are we?" Chloe asks innocently as he leads us through the woods.
"We're going to my favorite spot." He turns and smiles encouragingly at me when I groan loudly, probably more dramatically than necessary. "It's pretty cool, I promise."
"We trust you." Chloe says, making an effort to hit my hip with hers. "Right, Becs?" When we make eye contact, I try to ignore the heavy beating of my heart so I can decipher what she's trying to tell me. Her expression is pleading, which leads me to say what I do.
"Yeah. We trust you." I shoot her a momentary glare before looking away, but I don't avert my gaze fast enough to miss her smile fall.
I feel bad that I'm doing this to her, but I need to protect myself too, and protecting myself may mean shutting Chloe out.
It's mostly silent as we walk the rest of the way to wherever it is Jesse's taking us. It's a vicious cycle with Chloe and I- she glances at me; I notice; she looks away in embarrassment; I glance at her again; she catches me; I look away in embarrassment; the cycle repeats itself.
At one point in our walk, Jesse and I make eye contact. He raises a single eyebrow slightly, and I lift my shoulders up a centimeter in response. I know exactly what he's getting at, but I'm not going to entertain him right now. He can have the logistics of my brain laid out for him later.
It takes approximately fifteen minutes for us to arrive at our destination, but it doesn't take Jesse announcing it for me to know. It's very obvious this is where we're supposed to be- there's a tall treehouse, and there are rocks around the base of the tree, none of them the same height and looking almost like a barrier.
Without saying anything, Jesse starts climbing up the rope ladder, motioning for us to follow.
"You go first." I break the silence, and I'm grateful when all Chloe does for a response is nod and follow him.
Once they're both in the treehouse, I grab the rope with both of my hands. Up close, I can tell it's been replaced recently, which makes me feel slightly better as I slowly climb up. Jesse knows I've never liked heights, so I don't know why he brought us here.
"This was my favorite place growing up." Jesse says, a hint of nostalgia in his voice as he looks around. There's a certain soft look in his eye that one rarely sees, so I decide not to say anything. Apparently, Chloe has the same thought, as she remains silent as well. "My dad built this for me. I can't believe it's still here."
"That's sweet." Chloe whispers and sits down on the floor next to him.
"Yeah." He sighs, and we make eye contact again as I sit down in front of them. "I'd go here whenever my mom was drunk."
Jesse's mom was a drunkard and a drug addict. When his dad died, he came to Atlanta to live with his aunt and uncle.
"That's good that you had this place." Chloe whispers, and I find myself nodding along.
He gives her another soft smile. "It was, but I was so much happier in Atlanta with you two weirdos." After a pause of silence, he adds, "well, before all of this awkward silence shit."
With a groan and an eye roll, I turn slightly so I don't have to see the looks on their faces. I don't have to be facing them to already know, though- Jesse's giving me a strict and annoyed look, and Chloe looks like she might cry. I can't blame her, exactly.
"You said you were ok."
Her words cut through like a knife, and I feel tears bristling behind my eyes. I shake my head and blink rapidly, but refuse to turn back around to look at her.
"And I am." I mutter, even though I know all three of us know it isn't true. Part of me is happy Jesse hasn't left yet, and part of me wants him gone.
"Bullshit." The harshness of Chloe's tone shocks me so much I accidentally look over at her. "This isn't the Beca I know. If you were really ok, you'd be sitting next to me, not across from me. You wouldn't be scared to look me in the eye, and you'd laugh at my jokes. You'd have some sarcastic comment to say whenever I say something stupid. For Christ's sake, you wouldn't be lying to me if you were ok. And that, Beca Mitchell, is the truth. Jesse knows it, I know it, and I know you know it." With a deep breath, she adds, "so I'll ask you one more time, and this time, I want the truth. Are you ok?"
"Maybe I'm not, Chloe." I bite back, and she flinches. "How would you feel if Aubrey was marrying someone you never liked?" She opens her mouth, but doesn't say anything. "Yeah, exactly. So don't try and act like you know anything, because I promise you, Chloe Beale, you don't know what a broken heart feels like."
"Beca-" Chloe calls out as I stand up, and I give her a small, pitiful smile.
"And here I was, thinking things could change." With that, I descend back down the rope and onto the ground.
I ignore both of their cries as I walk back the way we came. I knew this trip was going to be a bad idea. Jesus, why did I listen to them? Why did I let Chloe convince me everything was going to be fine?
Why do I always let myself get hurt?
"Fuck." The blonde cries out as my thumb circles her clit at an uneven, but rapid, pace. "Oh my gosh."
"Come for me." I mutter in her ear, and she collapses against the bed with a scream as an orgasm rips through her.
"Wow." She finally mutters, giving me a lazy smile. "I knew you were good with your hands, but I never knew you were that good."
"I'm assuming you're a fan?" I put my shirt back on in a hopefully subtle attempt at showing her I don't want the offer returned.
"A huge fan." She smiles and sits up, also putting her clothes back on. "'A Simple Favor' is so good."
"Thanks." I roll out of bed and open my top drawer, where all of my confidentiality money is stored. "I need you to keep this strictly a secret."
"Not a problem." She smiles when I hand her a few hundred dollars. "No one would believe me anyway, you don't have to worry."
I smile at her- she seems like a decent person. "Alright. I don't mean to sound rude, but I have things to do, so…"
"Right." She laughs and grabs her purse. "It was a pleasure, Miss Mitchell."
"You too…" I trail off when I realize I don't know (or maybe remember?) her name, but I blame it on the shit ton of booze and liquor I drank prior to this.
"Amber." She smiles, and I nod.
"Right, I knew that. Sorry."
"You're good." I walk her out to the door, and it isn't until she's in the hallway that she turns around.
"If you ever want to talk, here's my number." She hands me a very professional-looking business card. "I'm a psychologist."
"Thanks." I respond genuinely and shove the paper in my pocket. With one last smile, she turns around and walks out of the apartment complex. I have to give her some credit for not even turning around.
I turn back around and make my way to the kitchen, looking through random cupboards as I try and decide what I want to eat. As I grab a granola bar, "Jessie's Girl" starts playing, signaling that Jesse is trying to call me again.
It's 11:30 at night, and he and Chloe should actually probably be here by now. It worries me a little that they aren't, which is why I answer the phone.
"Hey. Where are you?"
"Chloe went to Aubrey's house, and I'm hanging out with Donald and the guys." I roll my eyes at the mention of the Treblemakers, the male a cappella group Jesse was a part of back in college. I don't have anything against them as a team, unlike Aubrey did, but most of the guys are pretty annoying. Bumper especially. "Are you ok?'
I glance down at the empty alcohol bottles littered around the kitchen- five, if I'm counting right. Which may not be, since I'm still drunk. "I'm great, dude. Absolutely amazing."
"I don't believe you."
"I'm fucking fantastic." I mutter in response, putting it on speaker so I can tear the wrapping off of the granola bar. "In fact, I just met up with some woman."
"Really? What was she like?" His voice goes from disapproving to excited so fast I almost laugh.
"I didn't give her the chance to fuck me, but she wasn't a bad kisser."
"Beca, you do know the whole point of you meeting women is to get laid, right?"
"Is that why you dated me?" I shoot back jokingly as I take a bite of the granola bar.
"Haha, very funny." He chuckles humorlessly on the other end. "No, I didn't."
"I know, I was messing with you."
Suddenly, I hear what sounds like a scream on his end, and he groans. "Listen, I gotta go. Donald and Bumper are throwing chairs at each other."
"Have fun." I chuckle, and he groans again.
"Thanks." With that, he hangs up.
After demolishing the granola bar, I trudge my way back upstairs and to my room. I don't even bother getting into pajamas before climbing into bed. I'm probably going to regret the drinking tomorrow, but for now, all I'm worried about is falling asleep.
"Fuck." I groan when I wake up the next morning. The light from outside somehow makes its way past my curtains, and I can hear Jesse blending something downstairs. Both of these factors are more than enough to make my hangover hit me full force.
I lay with my eyes squeezed closed for what feels like forever before begrudgingly making my way to the bathroom. Knowing I smell like shit, I strip and turn the water on. I brush my teeth and hair while I wait for the water to warm up, which thankfully doesn't take long.
After making myself look slightly presentable, I head downstairs, where Jesse is grinning at his phone. "The dork lives."
He looks up, and his smile widens. "And I thought you wouldn't even remember last night."
I roll my eyes playfully at him as I sit across from him at the table. "No, I remember last night perfectly well. It's all of the day though that's a blur. The last thing I remember is leaving the treehouse." After a pause, I add, "I'm sorry about that, by the way. That was a really dick move out of me."
"Yeah, well," he chuckles and slides out of his chair. "I'm pretty used to you being a dick." With a smile, he places a green smoothie in front of me. "Drink up."
"You're amazing, did you know that?" I grab the hangover smoothie and down half of it, un-oblivious to Jesse's shocked stare the whole time.
"Yeah, I did." His voice still sounds slightly surprised.
"Mmm." I moan as I take in the rest of the beverage and set the glass down. "That was so good, thank you." With another moan, this time from pain, I stand up. "But I'm still going to be downing water today."
As I grab some Tylenol and a bottle of water, Jesse asks, "so, anything big for work today?"
"Just writing." I shrug nonchalantly after swallowing. "Which is a relief. Posen's going to kill me when she realizes how hungover I am." Pause. "Actually, she may kill me anyway, considering how I've been treating Chloe lately." I grimace. I'm genuinely surprised she hasn't tried to kill me yet, but I'm grateful nonetheless. I'm not scared of Aubrey Posen, per say; getting on her nerves 24/7 is actually starting to get slightly annoying.
"Yeah, she's not the happiest with you." He says noncommittally.
"I'm not the happiest with her either." I mutter, starting to pick at my nails. "I almost don't want to go into work today."
"Then don't." He gives me his mischievous grin, but I shake my head at him.
"No, I really should go. It's not going to be a busy day, but still."
"Fine." He leans over and gives me a hug. "I gotta go, but I'll see you later, yeah?"
It's just now that I notice he's wearing khakis and a button-down shirt. "Where are you going?"
He shrugs, but I can tell he's excited. "I met a girl last night. We're meeting up for breakfast."
"Oh wow." I'm truly happy for him, this is the first date he's gone on since college. "Dude, good luck."
"Thanks." With another grin, he makes his way to the door.
Right before he leaves, I yell, "just don't scare her away with your movie talk! It's a total turn-off."
"You liked my movie talk." He says, and I scoff.
"I pretended to like your movie talk, dork."
"Liar." He sticks his tongue out at me, and I roll my eyes.
"Go, before you're late." Before he can ask, I add, "and yes, you can tell her you know me."
"Thank you!" He yells out before walking out of the apartment. I sigh and shake my head lovingly at him before turning back to the table.
"Hey." I glance up at the sound of Chloe's voice. She has a small, scared smile on her face, and it breaks my heart to know that it's my fault.
"Hey." I try to return her smile, but it comes out as more of a grimace. "I thought you'd be spending the night at Posen's house."
"I needed to see you." She replies and sits at the table in front of me. "I don't like how we left things yesterday."
"Me neither." Daring myself, I reach over and grab her hand. "I've been a dick lately, and for that, I'm genuinely sorry. You don't deserve that."
"And I'm sorry I haven't been making this easy on you." Her smile, while still sad, becomes a little more genuine.
"Don't blame yourself for this." Shaking my head, I sigh. "This is my fault, not yours."
"It's my fault for loving someone else."
I laugh again. "No, it's not. You can't control that." In a whisper, I add, "just like I can't control loving you."
"You'll find someone. I'm sure of that." She squeezes my hand for emphasis.
"I'm happy for you and Aubrey. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I am."
This time, it's her turn to laugh. "Tell Aubrey that."
I groan and let go of her hand in order to massage my head. "That's going to be a headache all on its own."
She says with a large smile, "I believe in you, Becs. In fact, I think you're going to do aca-awesome."
"Oh God." I shake my head and stand up, supporting a look of disgust. "I thought I told you never to say that again?"
"I told you I wouldn't listen." She too stands up. "I have to get to work, I've got summer school this year, but I'll see you tonight?"
I move to the other side of the table to give her a hug. "Yeah, see ya then."
"Bye Beca." She hesitates for a minute, then grabs her purse and exits the apartment. Normally, she kisses my cheek, but I think even she realized it wasn't a good time.
"Bye Chloe." I mutter under my breath, although I know she can't hear it.
After staring at the door semi-longingly for another minute or two, I trudge back upstairs. I really don't want to go to work, but I can't hide from Aubrey Posen forever. I put on a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt, not wanting to get too dressed up.
The drive to the studio is rather slow, which is nice and annoying at the same time. Annoying, because I wanted more time to myself. Nice, because I hate driving.
As soon as I enter the building, Theo greets me with a huge smile. He's been traveling lately, looking for the "next big thing," so seeing his face is a nice change of pace.
I remember, when we first met, he used to be madly in love with me. For fear of my career, I hid my sexuality from him for a long time. He asked me out about a million times, but he was never an ass about it when I said no.
Once my career was established, I came out to him. I was expecting him to be hurt that I never told him, but he was perfectly cool about it. He's long since gotten over me, and he's even getting married to a guy named Chicago. I was super surprised to find out he's bi, but it was a nice surprise. Now, we have a really good, totally platonic, relationship.
"Theo!" I exclaim, and he grins at me.
"Come here you, give me a hug." His British accent hits my ears. It's a sound I've missed for a while now.
"You know I don't like hugs." I grumble, but I allow him to wrap his arms around my waist. For a millisecond, I even hug back, but I'll deny it if he brings attention to it.
"I know." He releases me, but keeps an arm around my shoulders as we walk to my office. "So how have you been?"
I shrug nonchalantly. "Not too bad. Jesse has been trying to hook me up with random women these past couple of weeks."
"Still no hope with Chloe?" He closes the door behind us, and I flop down at my desk.
"They're getting married."
I'm slightly surprised he heard me, considering it was a barely audible whisper, but he responds. "I'm sorry, Beca."
Sigh. "It's ok. I mean, they're obviously happy together."
He smiles sympathetically at me. "That doesn't make it easier for you."
"No, it does not." To change the conversation, I ask, "how is Chicago doing?"
He grins at the change of pace. "He's doing very well, actually. He's being deployed after the wedding though." His smile falls.
"That sucks, man. I'm sorry." Chicago Walp is in the US Military, so he and Theo's relationship hasn't been the easiest. It's super admirable how they've made it work though. I know that, someday, I want what they have.
He shrugs, but I can tell he's more upset than he's letting on. "We'll be ok."
Before I can respond, I hear a knock on the door. I look up and see Posen standing there. To my surprise and relief, she doesn't look mad. Maybe not happy, but definitely not mad.
"Come on in." I call out to her, and she opens the door.
"Hello Mr. Burnett, I wasn't aware you were back in New York." She greets him formally, and he stands in order to shake her hand.
"I just got back last night, actually." He turns and winks at me. "I wanted to see how my favorite recruit has been."
"Oh please!" I laugh. "There's no way I'm your favorite."
Aubrey rolls her eyes at me behind Theo's back as he says, "you're my best friend, of course you are."
"Ok, enough with the cheesiness, you big sap." I get up and playfully push him out of the room. Once he's out, I close the door and turn back to Posen. "So what can I help you with?"
"Actually, I wanted to talk to you." By the tone of her voice, I can tell she's here as Aubrey, and not as my manager.
"Ok." I sit back down in front of my desk, and she sits in the chair directly across from me. This might be odd, but I can't help but notice how, even when she's around friends (if I'm considered a friend, that is), she keeps herself so formal- one leg crossed over the other, with her hands folded neatly in her lap. It's almost as if she's scared of letting loose- which may actually be true, come to think of it. "So. What can I help you with?"
"This isn't easy for me to say to you, I need you to know this." She takes a deep breath, and I prepare myself for whatever is about to come out of her mouth. "I won't marry Chloe without your permission."
"What?" I don't know what I was expecting her to say, but that wasn't it. "Um."
"You don't have to give me an answer now, and I know this is probably very hard on you, but I-"
"Stop talking." I cut her off, and she blinks in surprise. "Yes."
"Yes?"
I groan. "Yes, Posen." Threateningly, I lean forward and add in a whisper, "don't make me regret my decision."
"I will not." She stands up and offers me a handshake, but I shake my head.
"Just get out of here."
"Ok." She turns and leaves my office, closing the door behind her. I sigh and rub my head, wondering how the hell I got here.
"How'd it go?" I ask Jesse when I get home from work, and he grins.
"I'd say it went pretty well, actually. We're going out to dinner on Friday night."
"Jesse, I'm so happy for you!" Chloe exclaims happily from the couch, and he smiles at her.
"Yeah dude, that's amazing." I press my hand against his shoulder momentarily before strolling into the kitchen. "What was for dinner?" Naturally, I missed it again, but it happens so often these days we're all used to it by now.
"I ordered pizza." Chloe says.
"Good." I open the fridge door and see a Pizza Hut box, so I pull it out and set it on the counter. Despite not being a huge fan of it, I grab two slices of Hawaiian and stick them in the microwave. I don't have a problem with the ham- it's the pineapple I don't like. Don't get me wrong, I love the fruit, but not on pizza.
When my pizza is nice and warm, I flop down on the couch next to Chloe. She immediately steals my pineapple, her eyes never straying from her book.
I can't help but grin at my two weirdos as they each do their own things. As much as I wish Chloe wouldn't marry Aubrey, I know she truly loves her. I have to accept that.