Chapter 2: Redhead Redemption

"So lemme get this straight," Axel got primed and ready for a stone-cold analysis of the situation. "You girls are openly admitting to using me for a free ride to this old-time world set in the wild west. And you're not paying me."

Naminé denied, "Not true. We cleaned out the trash from your car back at the gas station."

Also, Kairi dared him to look on the bright side, "At least you get a break from waiting tables at Malboro Grill. Isn't it great to breathe some fresh, wild west air?"

"I parked my car in horse-poo," Axel reported, directing everyone's attention to the front passenger side tire steeped in brown matter.

"That's pretty gross," Kairi stated.

Olette, also there for a getaway, added, "Now you have another reason to wash your car. You love washing your car!"

"…Okay, that is true," Axel relented. "Just tell me how long this is gonna take."

Busting out her digital to-do list, Naminé read from her phone, "Well, we've gotta go clothes shopping at no less than four different stores, then we've gotta try some of the food they have here before rejecting it for how unhealthy it is, then we've gotta ride some horsies~. Oh, and then we have to sit down in a saloon and play Go-Fish 'cuz none of us know how to play Blackjack."

Axel whined, "Uuuuhhhh—!"

Xion cut in, "Hey, speak for yourself. Blackjack is easy. Just learn how to bluff and hope for a royal flush. It's way easy."

Unsure of the truth, Kairi hesitantly amended, "I…I think that's Poker, Xion."

Olette pondered, "I thought it was called 'Texas Rope 'Em', or something."

Shaking her head, Naminé pressed on, "Doesn't matter. We're doing cards. Also, we're gonna take selfies and videos all day, so be aware of that—"

"You said 'all day' just now, and I'm just…not happy about it," Axel did his best to hold it all together.

Kairi coaxed his tender feelings, "C'mon, don't ya wanna hang out in the beautiful wilderness, and occasionally photograph four cute girls standing next to stuff?"

"This may be hard to believe," Axel started, deadpanning hard enough to stop time, "but no, I don't want to do that. I'd much rather be spending my day-off sauntering around town, harassing girls slightly more legal than any of you, be it in person or over social media, all with the intent of engaging them in close-quarters-coitus, where it's respectfully and mutually exchan—"

"All right, I get it, I get it!" Kairi cut him off. "If you wanna go back home, we'll just go with you, okay?"

Before Axel could deliver his analytical disbelief of that statement, Naminé cut him off as well, "Actually, no, we're definitely hanging out here no matter how much Axel moans and complains. And don't treat us like kids. We're perfectly legal according to the Dracu-Laws."

Axel rebuked that assessment, "I don't care how long you've been fifteen. I don't suck on lolis."

Immediately offended for some reason, Xion fired back, "Oh, you think we're lolis?! You ever seen a loli with these before?!"

Ignoring Xion's provocative juggling and compression of either modestly developed chest bump, Axel nullified, "Wouldn't know. I don't ogle toddlers."

Urging everyone to get a move-on while Xion continued to vengefully grope herself, Naminé said, "C'mon, let's see what New Austin has to offer!"

Axel stalled, "Hold on. Lemme at least move my car outta the poo—"

"Grrrrr-RUFFF-RUFFF-RUFFF!" came the chilling borks of a rapidly approaching pack of wolves, numbering up to six.

Completely caught off guard, Axel froze in place while everyone jumped back and screamed in fright. The gothy redhead panicked, "Oh, SHIT—!"

KA-BANG! Someone had a gun nearby, and they just used it. The bullet missed and hit the dirt, but it definitely scared the wild animals off from their potential five coarse meal.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Axel asked, "Who just did that?"

"Howdy!" called a cowboy riding horseback down the adjacent hill. As he got closer, he jovially concluded, "Figured you folks weren't tryna adopt any new house pets, now were ya?"

"Definitely not!" Olette replied while laughing.

"Nope, not those things!" Naminé added.

"I could've trained one," Xion muttered.

Axel chuckled, explaining away the chilling fear still gripping his every fiber, "Woo-man—I thought I was gonna die. Or catch rabies, or something serious."

Judging by the fancy clothes and shiny star pinned to his duster, the cowboy must've been a helpful sheriff. He replied, "Well, you gotta watch your back out here in the callous frontier. All kinds of demon-beasts'll try to kill ya the moment you got yer back turned, I tell ya hwat."

"'Preciate the heads-up, partner," Axel thanked with a sheepish neck-scratch. "Well, I guess we'll get goin'—"

"I also have to ask about this here alien technology," the sheriff interrupted, addressing Axel's black sedan. "Would it happen to be yours?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Sorry, partner. Gonna have to ask you to relocate this fancy gizmo-machine to outside of the frontier."

Confused, Axel sputtered, "Wait, what? Why?"

Tugging up his belt buckle, the horseback sheriff casually explained, "Well, these sorts of futuristic contraptions tend to be the target of supernatural disasters—you know, zombies, demons, world invaders, all types of missing links—almost like the bastards are all layin' low until otherworldly technology shows up, and then they go nuts for no apparent reason. So, yeah, I'm sorry, you can't saddle that here."

Amused by that anecdote, Kairi asked, "Are you saying his car could actually attract zombies?"

"Yes, indeed. It's a mad world, but someone's got to police it, yes indeed. Still to the point, there's a big-sized concrete stable floatin' around in the, uh…'Outer Space Routes Between' or what have you, and you'll need to pay an hourly fare to keep your vehicle stowed inside."

Groaning, Axel said, "Of course…"

Naminé dismissed him. "All right, well don't take too long, Axel. We're gonna need you to hold the camera at some point."

Nodding aggressively, Axel warned, "You should probably stand back. Very high chance I'm gonna burn rubber on this horse-poo, or at least try to."

And after the sheriff bid farewell and took his leave, Axel entered his vehicle and managed to avoid utilizing his front-wheel drive to spray poo everywhere, mainly because that would lead to more poo on his own vehicle, so he taxied slow, activated the Astral Road, and reentered the Lanes Between on the procedurally generated holographic road, now available in autumn colors.

"All right, ladies! Let's get wild in the west!" Naminé cheerfully proposed, leading the trek through New Austin.

Olette inquired, "How wild? Like, taking our clothes off wild?"

"You know…it's possible—!"

Xion instructed, "Be on the lookout for any place worthy of the silhouette challenge."

Squinting at the vast wilderness, Naminé replied, "I think I already see a few."

Kairi then brought forth reason, "Well, let's also look out for killer animals. And maybe we shouldn't strip down while Axel is here."

Xion shrugged. "We could probably fit in one silhouette challenge before he gets back."

Olette then brought up, "Not that it's a big deal or anything, but I was definitely joking."

"Oh. Yeah. Me too," Naminé replied with zero believability.

Kairi pointed out, "Look around us! There're so many other ways to empower ourselves without getting nude on camera!"

Xion dared, "Olette should do it first!"

"Wha-what?! N-no way! I can't—!"

Naminé pled, "C'mon, Olette—you're my inspiration!"

The Twilight Town academia specialist gasped, then visibly pondered her female empowerment potential before uttering, "Maybe I can do it…!"

Once again the bearer of logic, Kairi alerted everyone, "That red-background-filter works best indoors, not outside at two in the afternoon in sunny weather. Also, people have figured out how to remove the filter, so…"

Xion admitted, "I forgot all about that."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Olette concluded, "Guess we'll have to think of something else."

Naminé then bypassed logic, "Yeeeaaahhh, I still wanna do it, though."

"Bitch, you're crazy," was Kairi's analysis. Checking her phone's GPS, she asked, "You guys wanna hit up Valentine? It's just northwest of here."

"Hell yeah," Xion agreed. "Quick—let's make a Cap of us walking together!"

Thus, a short video for Capchat was quickly orchestrated, and holy smokes, this chapter is way too long. This has to stop.